Today I woke up at 0700 when my alarm went off. I was still tired, but I got up. I got Caleb up right away to let the dogs out. I spoke to Dona Sharon as she used the bathroom. I went from the hallway to my chair and began sorting out my medications and supplements. Caleb made me coffee. I took my medications and supplements with my gatorade zero as normal. I drank my coffee afterward. I forgot to eat my slice of keto bread before taking my pills. I ate it after I finished my coffee.
Dona Sharon requested that Caleb make her White Castle burgers for her, but there were none left of the 2 big boxes I bought for both her and Caleb. She wasn't happy.
Meanwhile I was getting dinner ready. I began making a brisket in the crockpot on low to cook while I was gone. I was planning to drive to Robeson County courthouse to establish my dad's estate. I did my hair and put on my jewelry. I briefed Dona Sharon that I changed my mind about Caleb staying home. Instead he was going with me. I feel better when he is with me, but I didn't want to leave the dogs without someone to let them out. Dona Sharon can only walk herself to the bathroom and back.
We left the house around 0900 or so. We stopped at the gas station right before the exit to HWY 74/76 West to use the bathroom and buy Caleb a snack. We got to Lumberton later than I expected but right before lunch. We found parking easily. We walked up to the door where a security guard asked if we had any phones or computers, that they were not allowed in the courthouse. We had to walk back to the van to put our phones and Caleb's computer in there. I had a reusable g4rocery bag holding the bare minimum because I did not want to have to go through a process with security rummaging through my things and finding my tactical pens and foldable survival knife. We made it inside, passed the security guards and metal detectors. I tried to figure out where I belonged by reading the sign. There is what looked like a clerk's office to the right that I went to the window. The ladies there were very helpful. I got lead to the right place. I signed in and waited in the waiting room. I was already so tired and feeling weird. I did not know if it was blood pressure being high or my blood sugar being low. It was definitely being in the car in driving position for too long. I vaped at 3mg/ml nicotine the whole time too. It has only been a few days of me being on nicotine vape again. Caleb and I were lead to the far back office around the corner in the corner. We sat with a lady with long blonde hair. She asked me some questions to fill out a form regarding opening my dad's estate. Before the visit was over I was fighting tears and talking about how stressed out I have been. I told her I have not been in good health and that is why I "am so late." We concluded that I could not open dad's estate today due to lack of Mathew's mailing address as the second heir. I was ready to get back home. I was just so sleepy and burned out. It took us 2 hours just to get there! The security guards were nice when we were looking for the way out of the courthouse.
Caleb and I walked back to the van. I sat there and caught up on all the messages I missed and emails too. I drank some of my gatorade zero. Still felt sickly. We began driving home, but stopped in Whiteville on the way home like we always did when Dad was alive. We stop there for Arby's food. I ate off my keto diet: 2 Greek gyros and 1 large mozzarella sticks. It was delicious and made me feel better within minutes making me think part of the problem was low blood sugar. I bought a meal for Dona Sharon to have. Caleb just wanted 3 large mozzarella sticks, but he only got 2.
I stopped at that same gas station on the way home again to use the bathroom. I chatted with Nala who works there on my way out about our curly hair in this humidity today.
We passed a runaway dog on HWY211 that had tags. I slowed down to pass him, but was clear on getting home. We had just passed houses. Surely he came from one of them. I could not stop with all the traffic behind me, food in the car, and not knowing the dog. Caleb was upset that I did not help it.
On the way home I was listening to Tool, 10,000 days album. 10,000 days part 2 is my favorite song on that album and I sang my heart out to that song as I drove.
Finally home, Caleb brought Bella out to the front yard and she hopped into the passenger seat where I was standing trying to gather my things. She thought it was time for a ride. Poor thing. She followed me back inside though. I was glad to be back in the air conditioned house. It just feels so hot outside to me today and the sun was not even out like most days. It was mostly cloudy and gray like it was going to rain. It would have been a good day to rest in bed.
Yesterday Bella woke me up at 0500 because she needed to go outside. I used the opportunity to let her out and then put on my socks and shoes and begin walking on the incline trainer. I walked one of the harder courses I created for myself. It can be boring to walk 1 mile at 0% incline and 2mph the whole time so I switched it up and made it more challenging, but not so challenging that I would hurt myself.
3 min warmup 0% incline, 1mph
5 min at 0% incline , 2mph
5 min at 3% incline, 2mph
10 min at 6% incline, 2mph
5 min at 3% incline, 2mph
5 min at 0% incline, 2mph
3 min cooldown at 0% incline, 1mph
Sounds like tiny mountain climbing huh? Yeah!!
It was a busy day yesterday. After I walked, I spent time uploading photos of my dad to his forevermissed webpage from my Facebook account. I think I made a whole bunch of duplicates, but that is ok by me. Then I went and took a shower. Some of you know how hard it is for me to take a shower. I can't take one everyday because it takes more energy than I have on a regular basis. I am trying to get healthier by exercising more and this keto diet. It's going to take time. I am trying to work up to 3 days a week of walking a mile each. Then I will build on that to walk 2 miles. Then I will build on that to walk faster and with weights.
I don't know if you know or not, but I am trying to get my business, HealiNergy LLC up and running. You can read more at www.healinergy.com and make appointments at heal.me/healinergy .
I am working on getting my first 5 level 1 Reiki students in person so that I can be trained in how to give classes virtually.
I am working on fulfilling my Revelation Breathwork Facilitator class requirements to become certified. I need 12 one on one sessions, and 6 group sessions to complete my certification.
I am still taking Vocal Resonance Method classes. I have fallen out of going to the live classes because I am tired when the classes take place and I have had busy days by then.
I am taking Song and Drum Academy classes. I have not made it to the live classes yet.
I am working with Coach Brandi Miles again. This time we are going live in her group Veterans Unleashed.
I am also in a VA grieving group therapy once a week.
Caleb has intensive-in-home therapy three times a week.
I'm trying to get my life together. I'm grieving my dad but staying so busy too.
April 28, 2023 I had what appears to be a seizure or T.I.A. I went to the ER that evening when I felt ok to drive.
It's been so long since I've blogged! Life is overwhelming and building up because I'm not blogging everyday like I use to.
I paid to learn Spinal Flow Technique, but am now trying to get a refund because I have overextended myself. I am trying to do too much at one time. I still haven't completed The Healing Trauma Program or the Yoga Therapy program. I am surrounded by my own library of books that I want to read.
I just found out no long ago that DJ Tiesto still works and has a playlist I listen to on itunes.
I found DaRude "Sandstorm" and Alice Deejay "Alone".
Bubba is still not trained. I need money to put him through training. Bella is aging graciously. I am giving her steamed vegetables in bone broth with less kibble per the vet's suggestion.
Caleb has begun testing on IXL curriculum website. He is making progress with everything going on. I swear I go grocery shopping nearly everyday. My diet requires fresh homemade food for me.
I just purchased new supplements to try for menopause and weight loss. That should be interesting.
I think I was having a panic attack today. I did not even breathe between vaping.
I'm trying to stay positive. I have hired housekeeping help regularly so the stress of trying to keep up by myself is reduced.
I applied for Caleb to get Autism-specific therapy next. Pray he gets the ABA he needs.
I bought Dona Sharon a wheelchair since it is too painful for her to walk. I want to take her the BCC pool to do physical therapy in the heated shallow pool. We are only waiting on her to purchase a new swimsuit since she has lost weight.
I bought a bidet toilet seat for the hallway bathroom. That will make it easier for both of us to use that toilet.
I am trying to not lose track of everything I have going on here so I can make phone calls for Dona Sharon in addition to what I am trying to do.
I wish I had a life partner. Keeping this work to one person is too much.
I have to schedule upcoming shots appointments for Bubba. I am waiting to hear from DSS about the child support case I put in for. They are looking for Jamie McCurry in Arkansas now. I hope I get good news soon about the paternity test once they make contact with him.
I message Nigel every once in awhile. I wish we had gone to marriage therapy before getting divorced, but I would have been gone for a total of more than 2 years before seeing him again. He has a child now, a daughter.
I am happy to hear of Rachel's children doing well. Zachary graduates this year from high school. Zhela is in college.
I drove the Volvo over to Salisbury where Chrisitnia is to let her drive it. It was just sitting in the front yard even though I spent all that money to fix as much of it as I could last summer.
They are trying to say I owe them money over the office that issues dependent income to my Veterans Benefits. I removed my dad as a dependent on January 6th, 2023, and I printed the screen! They can kiss my fat white ass!
The office that takes care of the MGIB refunds states incorrectly that I did not pay in. I need to find a way to get my first year of LES from the Army to prove them wrong!
I am wondering if I qualify for VA Aid & Attendance right now. I am so disabled it is not even funny. I don't know how I make through the day.
I have been trying to find more life insurance for myself and for Caleb. It's so important to do it while you are young and healthy because they won't issue you a policy if you health problems like I do.
I wonder if dinner is done. I ate so much already, I don't need more food.
Thanks for reading and supporting my blogging efforts! Have a blessed day!
