Hump day

     It's been awhile since I have sat here to blog. It is now 0816 on Wednesday morning. I have taken my kratom and my medications and supplements. I am just sitting here thinking about what I can get done today. Every day is different. Yesterday I was sweating all day. This week has been testing week for me. I had to do a 24 urine collection, 2 saliva tests, and I have one more test to do that requires me to take a pill at midnight. The saliva tests had to be done between 2300-0000 on 2 separate nights. I am also on what I am calling my period. It is the closest thing I have had to my period in more than a year. I'm not menstruating, but I am releasing some blood spots. So... it's been a long week. I had to cancel my pool therapy because I didn't want to contaminate the pool. 

    Yesterday was super busy. The day before yesterday I went to Walmart and got all happy looking at the sugar-free candies. I bought alot of them. You see I was craving chocolate. Anyway, I got home and devoured the chocolate covered peanuts. I ended up paying for it later with bloating and forceful painful gas. I decided that yesterday I would return the rest of the candy so that wouldn't happen again. So, after getting my meds down and Caleb's meds to him, we left for Walmart. The first thing I did was return about $60 worth of sugar-free candy. Yes! It was alot! Then I went and bought some hair bands and spoons. We left after that and I went to buy gas for the Mazda. After that, we went to Lowe's home improvement. I needed to replace my vacuum and carpet cleaner. While I was there, I also bought a new knee saver. That way I can bathe Bella in the bathtub without hurting my knees. Logan helped me get my vacuum and carpet cleaner. He is a veteran too and we got to talking about the VA. I got his email to send him the link to travel pay. I felt good walking out of Lowe's. After that we went to Lowe's foods. I needed to buy the ground beef on the last day of the sale. I bought some other groceries so I could use the save $10 off $50 coupon I brought with me. I am planning on making chili. So that was alot. We came home after that. I didn't feel like eating lunch, so I didn't eat anything. I instead looked through the day's mail and decided to try to see if any of the offers were any good. I got in contact with someone and decided to enroll in the debt resolution program. I am in about $75,000 worth of unsecure debt right now and struggling to make minimum payments AND buy groceries. It just seems impossible. So, I guess yesterday was the day to make the decision to move forward with a debt resolution program that will keep me from filing for bankruptcy. I spent several hours on the phone getting this done. I was tired after all that. The conversations were real and we went over my budget. Crazy. Henry was like how can you afford groceries? And I was like... that's what I'm saying! I don't have cash. I needed to use the credit cards to pay for our groceries. 

    So. After that was done, I went and talked to nana and had a meltdown and cried. It was real. I told her about what I had just done and how that would be saving us money. I was happy with my choice but I brought up how I have something wrong with me about buying groceries. I just have a fear of not having food in the house. It comes from not having food as a child. I cried about that because I hit the mark right on the head. I've never told anyone that. 

    Anyway. I have been steadily cleaning up the kitchen. I got the dishwasher loaded and running on Sunday. I hand-washed a bunch of plastic containers. On Monday I washed even more plastic containers and some pans. Yesterday I washed the stove top to the best of my ability. Today I will complete the kitchen cleaning. 

    I made Nana a salmon fillet for dinner last night. I had leftover pub burgers for dinner. Caleb had rotisserie chicken. I will likely cook the chicken thighs tonight for dinner. 

   A life-changing purchase was made at Food Lion. A longer roll of aluminum foil. A longer width. Yes now I can cover the whole baking pan with one piece!

    I have been running a sale for 50% off appointments for Reiki, but haven't made one appointment yet. I don't know what I am going to do.

    I went back this weekend and restarted my VA claim. I want to make sure I have everything listed on this claim. I am going to ask Nana to write a statement as evidence for me. It's alot of work. I have alot of evidence I have to submit. 

    I am still one video short of completing Larisa Gosla's Vocal Resonance Method training.

    I am doing so much better now that I am taking kratom every day. I have a relationship with the supplier and can buy at a discount. I can sell them too! 

    I am planning on becoming a Mellow Fellow affiliate in the future. I use their products too. 

    We have been washing laundry. and are starting to catch up. 

    I have been calling Granny and Pepere once a week. I missed them this week. They must have been busy. 

    Mike is feeling better. He had an ear ache last week and over the weekend. I invited him to come over for Thanksgiving dinner. Nana and I are already making plans on how we are going to put together dinner. It will be largely keto so I can enjoy it too. Nana is a good cook. We figured we could use my keto bread to make keto stuffing. I am getting excited already.

    We bought a scooter for Nana that should be here this weekend or shortly after. I have to clean the house to make sure she can use it in here. I have clutter everywhere. Caleb is helping more now that he is taking a multivitamin. Amazing what that can do.

    I go to Wilmington to drop off my samples and have labs taken tomorrow morning. I have to remember to take the hip braces with me to drop them off at Wilmington Orthotics and Prosthetics to give them away. I couldn't get a refund and they are too small for me to use. 

    Carla was scheduled to come over this morning, but was sick last night so she re-scheduled. 

    I have to get a shower. Bella needs to be groomed. Laundry is getting done. Kitchen needs cleaning. 

    I have a busy day ahead of me. I'm taking it one step at a time. Enjoying my hape' too. 

    I have to get Caleb's meds ready for him. 

    Thank you for reading, and have a blessed day!

    

This morning

     I woke up about 0230 this morning, and it is now 0435. I have been recording one of the guest videos from the student modules of the Vocal Resonance Method course. It was on EFT, or tapping. I liked it and participated in it as it played. I feel good. I will have to try to do tapping more frequently. 

    Yesterday was a busy day with 2 appointments, Caleb had his talk therapy session in the morning and I had my pool therapy in the afternoon. It was also Nana's birthday! Caleb's appointment went well. We were well received by Ms. Carol. I felt supported and Caleb left with some tools to work on until our next session. We are working on emotional regulation. It is not going to be easy, but it will be easier this time because Caleb is older now, and is no longer ignorant that I have needs too. We talked about how I become overstimulated sometimes, and he doesn't stop when I tell him to stop. We talked about how he has these big emotions, particularly anger, that he needs to release. I feel like we made progress even though this is only our first session back with Ms.Carol. 

    After Caleb's therapy, we went to Lowe's Foods to pick up lunch. I originally wanted to get Nana a California roll sushi for lunch, but then saw the panini sandwiches and had to get one of those for her too. I walked by the flowers, and could not stop myself from buying this beautiful bunch of flowers for her. We went home after doing a little bit of shopping, and ate lunch. By the time we got home, I was settling down to eat, it was almost time to get ready to leave for pool therapy.

    Pool therapy was a good experience. The whole day was good. I started the day at 0600 by taking kratomade drink. It helps with my pain levels. I also did some hape' which also helps me get going in the morning when I am sore all over. That was that catalyst to getting things going yesterday morning. I was feeling so much better with the help that these plant medicines provide. I decided to talk another dose of kratomade drink after lunch. I was trying to get more energy because I was sleepy, and I didn't want to suffer a fibromyalgia flare up after therapy. 

    I did my whole pool therapy session without pain and could walk out of the pool without pain. Nick told me about his pierogies that he made from scratch. I asked him about those as soon as I began talking to him! I was so excited to hear that it went well. The lady whose appointment with Nick is before mine was there because I arrived early. She was the one who started the whole pierogie conversation last week. Everybody was agreeing about we liked pierogies! 

    I like talking to Nick so it makes the appointments less stressful. Caleb met 2 girls who were already at the pool and swimming when we got there. Josh arrived for his appointment. He is a boy who meets a lady there for swim lessons, and he has Down Syndrome. When Josh is not in his lesson, he plays with Caleb.

    After pool therapy, we came home. I took a break to rehydrate. We later went to Food Lion so I could buy some keto hot dog buns. I did not have the energy to clean the kitchen and cook dinner like I hoped for. I had hotdogs. Caleb had frozen pizza. Nana had her California roll sushi for dinner. 

    I ended the night with talking to Mike on video call. It was nice to actual talk to him rather than chat in facebook messenger. I was tired and didn't want to type. 

    I met Mike Caton on facebook dating and he seems like a good guy. We chat throughout the day and he wants to meet me on Sunday. I told him it is hard for me to make appointments with people because I can't predict my health. I might have a bad day, and have to cancel. I don't like cancelling on people last minute, but that is how it happens. 

    It's hard meeting new people because I have so many disabilities. It's like I have to come with a warning label or something because I am so sensitive, have a history of seizures, have an overactive nervous system with fibromyalgia and C-PTSD. I have chronic pain in my lower back and pelvis. I mean it's like the list goes on and on. I'm diabetic and on a doctor prescribed keto diet. I have all these limitations to what I can do. I don't know if I will be dating long. Finding people who are mature and educated is a hard task in itself. 

    Wednesday I spent the morning working on cleaning the kitchen and getting the laundry done. By noon, however, I was sleepy. I took the kratomade drink around 0600 that morning. I didn't know if I should take another dose at noon. I just wanted to take a nap. I got the dishwasher loaded and running, the laundry going, and I handwashed a bunch of smaller dishes. I only had the pots and pans to wash, and cleaning of the countertops and stovetops left to do. I thought if I took a nap, I would be able to complete the cleaning of the kitchen when I got up, but that was not true. I was tired when I woke up. I woke up because I had to use the bathroom. I stayed up thinking I could get more work done, but I already felt like I had too much for my body.

    I had a dental appointment in Wilmington, an hour away, on Tuesday. It was for a regular cleaning. The referral was made back in February and only got approved by the Community Care of VA office last week.  The appointment went well. It was quick and there wasn't alot of scraping done to remove tartar. I do have 2 small cavities in a front tooth that need to be filled in my next visit. It's in an area hard to reach because it is where it touched the tooth next to it. Other than that, I am good to go. I got a prescription for Prevadent 5000 which is being filled by the VA pharmacy, and I am happy for the good report. 

    Caleb's dental visit last week was not so good. He has 16 cavities! The boy will not brush his teeth! I have struggled his entire life to get him to brush his teeth. He is going to end with dentures before he is 30! He also has an abscess under one of his teeth that requires dental surgery. I am trying my best to get him in with the only dentist in the area that does the surgery AND accepts Medicaid. It is not an easy task. They do not have a waiting list and every month is competition to get on the calendar before it gets filled up. I never win.

    Today is Friday. I am going to pick up Nana's cake today from Walmart. I need gas in the Mazda while I am out that way. I'm going to go ahead and stop by T-Mobile to return the broken phone and have them remove the line from Nana's account since she is no longer using it. I want to get this house cleaned up. I want to be able to cook dinner, so the kitchen is the first place I start. I want to make headway on the laundry too. I don't know how much of the cleaning I will get done, but I know I can do at least those things. I need Caleb to work on the living room and clean his room up. 

    I might be going to hang out with Tonia, a woman who lives not far away that I met on Facebook dating, on Saturday. I don't know yet. It depends on the status of the house cleaning.

    I need to take a shower soon. I developed a rash from the bra I was wearing and am determined to not let it happen again. I bought some sports bras from Torrid on clearance and they should be here today. I am healing well though. I am using a tea tree oil wipe to clean it daily and then applying frankincense essential oil mixed with a carrier oil to the rash. Frankincense is an antiseptic and helps speed the healing process. It has been known since before the time of Jesus that this was true. I just glad I bought the supply I have when I did. I bought them at 85% discount! I made the blend for Nana to try for her pain in her knee and shoulders. It does help her. I have not regularly used it yet because I did not make my own blend in a spray bottle yet. Maybe I will do that today as well.

    Nana fell out of the bed this morning. I had to call 9-1-1 to have help to get her back into bed. She is ok though. Thank God!

    It is now 0640. I have been awake all morning. I bet I'm going to need a nap later. I feel ok though. 

    I have noticed that my bowel movements are a drastically lighter color. I am thinking my new medication is causing that. I started taking Jardience this week for controlling my blood sugar. It's weird to see that.

    My ketones are elevated too. That is also because of the new medication. I am at risk of developing dka (diabetic ketoacidosis), when the blood becomes acidic due to too many ketones in the blood.

    I guess I am going to start my day. Time to make kratomade drink.

    Thank you for reading, and have a blessed day!