I am going through something and on the recovery end. I lost my mind around Thursday night. That was the last time I can remember clearly. Today is Tuesday. I guess I missed out on Halloween. I am pretty sure this is not the only time this has happened to me. Let me get right to the point. I was confused, exhausted, unable to fall asleep and stay asleep, and in a walking sleep appearing to be awake and conscious, but I have no recollection of what happened this entire weekend. I am just grateful I didn't die. I have a long list of medical problems that require special care. The first thing I must do to stay alive is eat food, drink water, and take my medications... followed by using the bathroom and resting. So apparently I was able to make that happen... as far as I am aware. I don't have any stories of accidents, and didn't wake up in the E.R.
I am feeling better now. Why? I went to the E.R. today after reading a secure message from my primary care team at the VA clinic. I had labs taken and imaging done to make sure I was ok and stable. Everything was fine according to the results.
Caleb and I came home and rested after having something to eat and drink. When I woke back up, I was led to spend time thinking about my dad and the grieving began. I sat going through all the photos I posted to his memorial page and let the tears flow for a couple of hours. I feel more stable now. It's been 3 years since my dad passed away on the toilet in the bathroom of a small motel room. The heaviness that was weighing on my chest has cleared up a good bit. I think I will be sleeping much better now, well, once I clear my head of the thoughts running through it.
Funny. Now I'm getting sleepy. Just minutes ago I was wide awake.
