This week

     It is now 0628. I just got Caleb on the bus and walked home. It has been a busy week. Thank God it's Friday! Monday came too soon. I had an appointment in Wilmington on Monday morning for my VA disability claim exam. I made it there on time, and the appointment was not stressful, although the doctor did hurt me. He pressed on my lower back and I jumped forward because it hurt. I felt safe with him though. I came home and was so tired of all that driving. It takes me an hour to get to Wilmington, and an hour to get back. Doing that driving without air conditioning in the Mazda sucks! I am heat sensitive and heat intolerant due to my chronic health conditions and prior heat exhaustion. 

    Tuesday I had another appointment in the morning. This time it was in Southport at the hospital. I had to have a follow-up mammogram done. I arrived a little late because there was an accident en route. The imaging that the doctor required took all morning. I was exhausted afterward. Carla met me in the hospital parking lot to see me and bring me a hot coffee. I was so thankful. It made driving home safer for me. 

    The cysts that are located behind my left nipple are not increasing in size. Thank God! I am due for another follow-up mammogram in 6 months.

    The rest of my week is kind of a blur. I don't really remember things well anymore. I know that Katelyn came by to do discharge paperwork from the family therapy she was providing. Mallory came by last night to do what I hope is our discharge paperwork from Social Services. She wants to close the case and had to update our paperwork in order to move things along. 

    One night Carla and Tyrone came over and gutted Caleb's room of all the trash he hoarded in there for us. I was so thankful. I had started picking up the trash in there, but I couldn't finish the job because I ended up hurting my back. 

    Wednesday was 9/11. I felt the heaviness of it all day. I'm sensitive. I remember exactly where I was when I first turned on the tv and the news was on that day. I was a student at UNC-Greensboro in my freshman year. It was my first semester and I was living on campus in the freshman dorm. I remember being in my dorm between my classes, turning the tv on and wondering why the news was on. I watched what was showing and couldn't believe it was really happening. I wanted to call my family and check that were ok, but the phone lines were busy and I couldn't call out. My heart beat was racing and I was scared. I didn't know what to do. How could this happen?

    Thursday was my dad's birthday. I spent the night before going through old photos on my phone and sharing them with Caleb and Nana. Thursday morning I spent time going through the photos on my dad's memorial webpage. I miss him a lot. 

    I struggled a lot on Wednesday. I could not force myself to make dinner, so we went and bought rotisserie chickens and sides from Lowe's Foods. I thought I could make jambalaya that day. It required that I clean the kitchen first. I had gone to Walmart I think and bought some ingredients for the meal. I was really hoping to make it that day, but I was too exhausted. 

    I went to Walmart originally because I needed a yeast infection remedy. I bought the Monistat 1 thinking that was the best choice for me. It wasn't. I needed the Monistat 7. The itching and the burning were so bad that I couldn't get a good night's sleep! I just wanted to tear my hair out.

    I ended up needing to go to Food Lion on Thursday because I just couldn't stand what I was feeling. It was taking over me. I couldn't get comfortable at all. I was sweating even in the air conditioning. I ended up buying a vinegar douche and a 7 day yeast infection treatment. I couldn't wait to get home and use the douche. It helped a lot. I need to remember that in the future. I figured out what caused the yeast infection. It was wearing a pair of shorts that don't breathe over a few days after sweating in them nearly every day. I have to remember not to do that again.

    I didn't manage to clean the kitchen yesterday like I planned. Nana was having digestive issues. I didn't want to make the jambalaya if she wouldn't be able to eat it. We had frozen pizzas I bought on sale instead. I was able to load the dishwasher after pre-cleaning those dishes and hand washing the majority of other dishes, but not all of them. I ran out of space in the dish strainer, so I had to stop washing dishes before I was completely done.

    I am still having diarrhea. It's weird because I am normally constipated with my IBS. I has been about 2 weeks now. 

    Caleb went to school all week. I am happy about that. He seems to be enjoying school, and I couldn't be happier for him. While he is at school, I take care of Bubba and Bella. They have been taking naps with me together in my bed nearly every day. They love to cuddle and be close.

    The other day Bubba jumped the fence every time I let him outside with Bella. Normally when he is outside with Bella he stays in the back yard. He didn't run off after jumping the fence, thank God. I found him near the fence just sniffing around. There is no way I can chase Bubba. He is way too fast for my old and disabled body. 

    We have the dumpster until the 19th. I need to re-organize the shed while we have it. I hope it doesn't rain this weekend so Caleb and I can clear the back yard of trash along with the shed. I still need to vacuum the carpets inside and steam clean them. I don't know what I will do today. I haven't met up with Nana just yet. 

    I have come to the conclusion that I cannot "help" Christinia any more. I was trying to make sure she and Harlee had food to eat and wiFi, but I can't afford to pay her bills. I am struggling to pay my own bills right now, and struggling to buy groceries. I shouldn't be helping someone who treats me like I'm expendable anyway. It's bad for my health to even be involved. 

    I am supposed to meet up with Carla for lunch today. I don't know where we are going to eat yet. I let her know that I did not have money to eat out, and she offered to pay for me. Nana wrote me a check yesterday, and I was hoping to repay her kindness for cleaning Caleb's room by buying her lunch. 

    I have been praying a lot lately. I pray before I fall asleep. I pet Bella as I pray. 

    I restarted the Angel Energy Healing class. I don't remember what I learned before, and I never completed the class so... The first meditation really helped me feel better. I want to repeat that meditation until I memorize it. I could use it to help others. 

    I haven't picked up the Yoga for Trauma book at all this week. I need to catch up on the reading. Class starts in October if I am not mistaken. I need to get as far as I can before class starts because I always fall behind and never complete the class. 

    The Trump/Harris debate was this week. I didn't watch it. I've seen a lot of memes about what was said though. I can't believe there are Americans who want a 34 count convicted felon as their President. And the things he said! The harm he causes! It's unbelievable! I am voting for Kamala Harris. It's time we had a woman President and I trust her to protect marginalized populations.

    I have to figure out how I am going to be able to pay my bills and buy groceries. I need a budget because I have to save money to get the plumbing fixed, have the pest control done on the house, and get the Mazda fixed. I also need to get Bella back to the vet for some shots, and have Bubba's shots updated. I have to find a way to bring money in. I wanted to write a book, but I am never at my computer during the day when Caleb is not home. I am always running around trying to get groceries or going to appointments. My friend Sheila is going to assist me in publishing my book and selling it on Amazon once it is written. I just have to make the time to write it. i don't even know what I want to write about yet. I'm not an expert on anything but me. I thought I would write about my life but I am unsure.

    I will be unable to buy the kratomade like I wanted to this month. I don't have the funds. I have to pay bills that are past due first before buying anything. Plus Caleb earned a treat by doing the dumpster diving for me on Saturday, so I have to be able to get him that. I'm praying because I don't know how to get out of this loop where I never have enough money around. I am using the Kratomade to reduce my back pain when I intend to work on the house. It can prevent me from feeling the pain for several hours after I take a serving. It helps me get stuff done that Caleb isn't allowed to do. For instance, pet vac-ing the carpets or steam cleaning the carpets. He is not allowed to use the machines because they are expensive and he is not careful. His ADHD prevents him from paying attention to detail when he is working. I can't afford to replace those machines, so I don't let him use them. 

    It's been really humid out lately. It's heavy feeling when I go outside. I sweat a lot. I need to take a shower. Maybe that is what I should do today. It drains my energy to take showers, so I limit it to once a week. It would be nice to wear a dress to meet Carla for lunch though.

    I think Nana is up. I have already taken my morning medications. I have to finish my other morning routines for personal hygiene. I don't know what I want to plan to do today. I am just relieved that it is finally Friday. I'm exhausted from everything this week brought. I kind of just want to try to relax. I have not had a good night's sleep since having this yeast infection. I feel like spending the day in bed, but there is so much I need to work on. 

    I will figure it out after talking to Nana and seeing how she is feeling.

    Thank you for reading! Keep us in your prayers! Have a blessed day! Much love!