Friday, July 21, 2023

Checking in with myself

      So alot of things are going on in my mind. I have a lot of appointments coming up. I recently had a pelvic ultrasound and x-rays of my pelvis and lower back. I will be referred to pain management after the reports return. I am being sent to have a mammogram done. I just scheduled an appointment for my physical therapy (aquatic therapy), and am waiting to schedule my annual eye exam that is required due to my psuedo-tumor cerebri and my diabetes. 

    I tried the Factor75 meal program and found that it did not fit my particular needs. I still had to cook to supplement the meals. The meals were too small for me and I was sooo hungry for a multiple of reasons. The first reason is that I quit taking Victoza daily on Saturday, and I started taking Ozempic weekly low-dose on Sunday. So the transition was hard because of my hunger resulting from the change. The other thing was that while trying to be strictly Factor75 keto diet meals, I was consuming too many carbs per my Virta prescription diet and was not able to be in ketosis. I also was not getting protein for my specific personal diet. Virta allows me 30g carbs daily and 13 oz. of protein (more if I am still hungry) daily. 

    Today I went to Walmart and stocked up on the groceries we use regularly. On my way out of the parking lot, a man was sitting with a sign that had the word "homeless" in it. I immediately stopped and told Caleb to hand the man a gallon of water that we just bought. I told the man, "Be blessed!" and went on my way.

    Let's take a step back. On the way to Walmart I noticed a light on in my dashboard. I thought it was the check oil light, but was corrected by the mechanic that it is the check engine light. I was worried that I was driving without oil, and that there was an oil leak. I was trying not to panic. I quickly went to Walmart (the second time) to give the man a whole reusable grocery bag of prepared meals from Factor75 that were going to go bad before I could eat them. They heat in the microwave for 2 minutes, but it was so hot outside, he could just leave one in the sun to warm it up to eat it. The food is fresh and never frozen, and already fully cooked. I was hoping the man found help and that maybe he wouldn't be there still. It had been a couple of hours between when I first saw him and when I came back to deliver food. He was there though, and gladly accepted the bag full  of prepared meals. I hate throwing away food, and told Dona Sharon, "If I have extra, let it go to someone who needs it!" 

    From Walmart, I went to Autozone. In the parking lot I called Boys Under the Hood, an auto repair shop on Oak Island to ask what to do. I was directed to go there and let someone check the oil for me. I told the woman, "I'm on my way. I'll be right there in a few minutes!"

    A mechanic checked the oil. There was no sign of a leak. He corrected me that I saw the check engine light, not the check oil light, and directed me to go to Autozone or Advance and let them read the code to determine why the light was on. If it was something  I wanted to pursue after that to make an appointment because he is 2 weeks out already due to the season. So I went home, tired and worried about not having made dinner.

    I bought a Boston pork butt on sale that I wanted to cook in the crockpot, but I never got around to it because I wanted to cook it on low for 8 hours and had run out of time that I would be awake. I decided it was best to wait until tomorrow morning to start cooking it. 

    I had a lot of words for Caleb this afternoon. He was arguing about getting the groceries out of the car. I got pretty loud, but I didn't get physically violent. I expressed my anger, and simultaneously explained my anger. Caleb is Autisitic and needs me to do that so he can understand. Caleb also has ADHD and ODD, so it takes a lot of patience to be his mother. 

    At one point I told him, "God is watching you and everyone. Everything little thing you do, God is watching. You will have to reconcile with him when your days are done. You might want to think about how you are behaving and change your ways." I'm proud of that moment. I'm also proud that I did some tough yet gentle mothering. Finding the balance is key. I need to be forceful enough to get it across that he affects me negatively with his misbehavior, and at the same time educate him on what is right and what is wrong, because it doesn't come naturally to him. 

    I don't think I wrote about my recent MRI. I had a MRI of my brain done. I showed a "partial empty sella", but no signs of ischemia. Meaning no signs of stroke. So it was a seizure! That's what we were trying to tell the neurologist, but he didn't believe what ER doctor told me after the CT Scan.

    I still don't know the results of my culture labs that were taken in Fayetteville. I have been trying to reach Dr. Rodriguez to no avail. The MRI showing partial empty sella has a lot to do with my lack of estrogen production. I am being referred to an OB/GYN to discuss hormone replacement therapy, I think. My estrogen is really low, but my testosterone is really high.

    In other news, I have a new house cleaner who comes once a week to help us out. I like her a lot. Thank God!

    I went to trim Bella's nails the other day and struggled with it because she kept pulling her paw towards her and away from me. I got the front paws trimmed a little, and only one back paw trimmed. I am trying to find a local groomer who is not booked up to give Bubba and Bella grooming. 

    Things got busy around here with Dona Sharon having home health services. She is now seeing a nurse, a physical therapis, an occupational therapist, and a mental health nurse at home. It's a lot to manage on top of my current schedule. Then, Caleb's ABA therapy got approved by Medicaid so that are starting therapy on Monday. It will be every weekday for 2 hours for a minimum of 6 months. Add to that the dog grooming and vet appointments and my appointments and Caleb and Dona Sharon's other appointments... and I have no time to run my business. I am taking a break for as long as I need to from trying to provide people with Reiki sessions.

    Then in August I start the Spinal Flow Technique training again. And I am still in Yoga Therapy training, Ayurveda training, and so many more! I love learning, but there are only so any hours in a day, and I run out of energy quickly.

    It is now 0014. Caleb just woke up to me blowing my nose. He was sleeping in the living room.

    Caleb and I are starting a new schedule on Monday because that is when his therapy starts. It is also when I will begin getting up earlier and walking on my incline trainer, then doing my recovery in a far-infrared sauna blanket, and then a shower. Then I will wake Caleb and we will begin the rest of our day which will include getting his schoolwork done, and me studying my classes as well. The day will end with his therapy at home and dinner. We will see how it goes, it if will be sustainable. I hope so. I had pain walking through Walmart in my right hip today. I need the time on the incline trainer. 

    I don't know if I wrote about applying for VA Aid & Attendance. I am waiting to receive the return receipt from sending them my application. I am hoping to get it approved for all the needs I have. 

    I had to cancel the spot on the Wounded Warrior Project group I wanted to do about Physical Health and Wellness. I don't have the ability to keep the commitments needed, so I cancelled it. 

    I tried Ryze and Everyday Dose mushroom coffees. I think I prefer Ryze to Everyday Dose. I'm not sure yet. I didn't feel the impact of drinking either one of them. I will try it again eventually. I am not wanting coffee in the morning like I was drinking before because it is so hot here.

    I am still using hape' from Four Visions Market. It helps me a lot. I need to earn money in order to keep buying it and having more good days. I started this side gig with Cliqly. I earned my first paycheck this week. I hope it continues to prove with my time. Here is my link, if you want to see what it's all about. 

 https://turnkeyemailbiz.net/cliqlytrialv1?c=193029 

   August is just around the corner. I will be going to aquatic therapy then, probably once or twice weekly at the pool. I saw some concerts in Wilmington that I wanted to try to go to, but I learned my lesson with the Dave Matthews Band tickets. I just can't manage the stress of it all.

    I need to apply for business grants. Really and truly do.

    I am waiting for the mortgage rates to fall... could be waiting forever.

    Fall will be here soon! 

    Today I am going to stay at home. I am going to try some of the self-help things to try to fix the check engine light. I have an appointment with Googe Ads technical office in the afternoon. I have a call with the BCBA who is supervising Caleb's therapy in the morning. I am going to slow-cook the Boston pork butt in the morning. I need to clean the kitchen (again) and get some laundry done. Busy day. In between, I will record the Vocal Resonance Method live classes for my records and to catch up. I only have 2 more classes of the student modules, all the facilitator modules, and all of the success modules to record. It's a time-consuming process. I put my goal to create video content for my app on hold for now. 

    I promised myself that I would take Sunday off and stay in bed and read my books. I need the rest before Monday. Monday is going to be challenging.. 

    I haven't been practicing Reiki as much as I want to. I just don't think about it for myself.

    I started using the alpha-stim again. Dona Sharon and I will be using it everyday to see how much better we feel. 

    I want to start using my omnipemf devices too. 

    I created an altar on my kitchen island. It's a matter of constant arguing because I can't get Caleb to keep the area clean. We are trying to declutter the whole house and deep clean. It's a work in progress.

    I made it through half of the Sage Goddess workshop about angels. I am doing it an hour at a time, as I am free. It was a whole day workshop. 

    I will be certified in Vocal Resonance Method as a Facilitator soon. Larisa Gosla sent me a list of equipment to buy to start recording my own music! I am so excited! I am going to record my singing and I am going to create music with my crystal singing bowls, frame medicine drum, tingshas, chakra tuning forks, hand pan drum, and xylophone! Woop woop!

    I got out of the habit of listening to the angel meditations in the morning. I want to get back into it to start my day. 

    I have been using my red light therapy pad regularly every night before I fall asleep. I am proud about that. 

    I am back in ketosis for 3 or 4 days now. I am back to losing weight again too. 

    I want to get into the habit of checking my glucose in the mornings. I got out of that habit too. And I need to check my blood pressure 3 times a week. I am on a yeast control medication from Dr. Rodriguez. I am at the point I take 2 per week now. I have to remember when I take them. The Ozempic is weekly, whereas the Victoza is daily. It's a change I'm getting use to. 

    Bubba is awake. We all need to sleep but are all wide awake. 

    I think I have successfully downloaded my brain to this blog.

    Thank you for reading, and have a blessed day!

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