Today's prompt is "Today you gained ____." Today I gained a healthier inner child. It is now 0337, and I just completed an inner child healing meditation. I am working on my Magdalene Rose Priestess course. I completed the course once before (because I earned the certificate) but I have forgotten most of what I was doing, so I am doing it again.
This particular part is a part of the White Rose Priestess subsection. I am supposed to write down 3 of the painful childhood memories that I have. The first one, I worked on a few weeks ago. That memory was of when I was about 7 years old or so, and I was living in Spring Lake with my mom and my brother. I believe my dad was in the Army and in Korea at the time. I was asleep in my bed, and woke up to loud yelling and crashing noises. I had no idea what was going on. The image of my younger self, on the mattress on the floor crying , next to my mom, in the dark with a night light on is very prominent. I was scared. I did not understand. I still don't understand. I think Dennis was drunk and/or high. He came to our house and flipped over the sofa, and tore things apart in the living room. I remember later finding out that he was mad because my mom did not pick him up from jail? Something like that.
I think I woke up and came out of my room to see what was going on. I was scared. I was little. My mom took me back to my room, and tried to put me to bed. Dennis followed us, and took my toy baby stroller, with baby doll inside, and slammed it against my closet door, leaving a big hole.
My mom was cheating on my dad with Dennis. I did not understand what any of this meant at the time.
Anyway, that was the first memory I worked on, and today, I worked on the second memory. The second memory was of when my dad found out that I stole cigarettes from my best friend's parents and was smoking. He was furious. I was maybe about 10 years old, and Mathew was 9. It was right before Christmas break. My friend's mother walked over to our house to tell my dad. He immediately said "Go get my belt!" He hit me with the belt on my forearms and hands many times. Even a week later, when we drove to New Jersey to see my grandparents for the holidays, I still had marks from being hit, and it hurt. I was ashamed and embarrassed by the marks, and tried to hide them. I believe my Aunt Lisa noticed them in the vehicle at one point, because I told her my arms were hurting and began to cry.
I do not know what memory will be next. I guess we will see.
Last week was annoying. I had no medical appointments, and was waiting all week for my closet ceiling and laundry room ceiling to be finished. It was not until Friday afternoon that the job was complete. I easily could have lost my cool, but I didn't.
My new stove was delivered from Lowe's on Monday, so that was a success. The central air conditioner got an inspection on Thursday, so we are now ready for the Summer.
I have heard nothing more from my dad, even though I have text messaged Dona Sharon. I asked what to do with my dad's tv? What to do with this laptop I am planning on getting rid of? What to do with the queen mattress set and frame I was saving for them? I also let them know that I was removing their vehicles from my car insurance. I do not know if they blocked me or what, but it is their loss.
I find it hard to accept that my dad has not called me. I refuse to call him. I am not chasing him. I still have to go retrieve my Volvo from over there.
Caleb is working on his schoolwork, even though he is struggling, now that he is being rewarded for doing work. He has already earned a poster and 2 new dragon rings.
I am still Spring cleaning the house. I have given away most of the things I do not plan to use. I have cleared out 1/2 of my closet! I am resetting my wardrobe to reflect my new goals of getting healthy. The shelves have finally been hung up, and my crystals are at home in my room. I have a new bookcase that I am going to make room for, in order to put my new books away. I will be surrounded by crystals and books in my room! So exciting!
Caleb is getting a new bed on Friday, so he is also Spring Cleaning. He has given away the clothes that no longer fit him.
Tomorrow I have an eye doctor appointment, for my annual vision screening. I have pseudo-tumor-cerebri, so they check every year. I have my annual well-woman's check up on Tuesday.
I am missing some stuff I ordered from Zulily, so now I have to inventory everything I have received in order to report what is missing. What a pain in the ass!
Bella received new toys a few days ago, and she loves them. Her Bravecto should arrive any day now.
Christinia had a week break between semesters of school, so she had time to really relax for once.
My plants are dying because I cannot plant them in the ground fast enough. I just don't have the energy. I am working on it though.
I have fallen off the wagon of walking every day, but I plan to get back on. I have about 80 miles to go to complete my virtual challenge.
I am trying my best to stay on the keto diet to bring my A1c down.
I start my Reiki Master class this month. I am excited about that. I will be working on my Magdalene Rose Priestess course too. I have other courses and books that I want to read, but I do not want to overwhelm myself. I am going back and writing my journal from the Ignite Your Light program I am doing with Michal. Lots of Spiritual self-work being done.
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