It is now 0326, and I have been awake for about an hour or so. I got up to use the bathroom and felt like blogging, so here I am. Yesterday was Monday and busy. I paid the bills online, paid the water bill in person, went grocery shopping at Food Lion, and went to Walmart. I did all this, and missed my psychiatric video appointment! I lost track of time. I came home and rested for about an hour after going to Walmart. Stephanie, the social worker, came over to inspect our progress. She did not recognize the hard work that had been done.
First of all, there were alot of Thanksgiving prep groceries still in reusable bags when she was here. Now they are out of the bags and in a storage container. Secondly, the space by the island that housed the dresser full of the dogs' stuff, was removed. It was falling apart and had to be taken to the porch. In its' place is a 9-cube organizer. Everything was moved around to vacuum. Third, the drinks were all over the floor. Now they are organized in a storage container. Fourth, packages were everywhere. Now they are all organized in storage containers. Fifth, empty boxes were all over the place. We got rid of those. Sixth, dog kibble was spilled on the floor. The kibble got vacuumed up, and the bags of kibble are now in a storage container. And that's just what I managed to do!
Caleb picked up trash, moved the office chairs around, and vacuumed a part of his area in the living room. Caleb picked up trash from the hallway and vacuumed there too.
Now, I am not saying we are done, but we did not do NOTHING either.
Caleb has to clean out the crate for Bubba to be able to use it when we are not watching him. The incline trainer needs to be cleared off. The storage containers need to be labelled and stacked with lids on. The whole living room needs to be vacuumed with the pet vac, after the shop vac, and then shampooed.
Not only that, but I also made progress on the kitchen. I fully loaded the dishwasher and ran it, hand washed a bunch of dishes, and began cleaning off the surfaces of the stove and countertops.
I didn't get much done this weekend. Both Saturday and Sunday were dark, rainy, and cold with no sunlight. I have Seasonal Affective Disorder which is hard to deal with this time of year anyway. I have Fibromyalgia which rears its' ugly head on days like that. Sunday I decided to try out my light therapy box which was sent to me by my psychiatrist to help with S.A.D. I felt a difference once I turned it on, but it was not as useful as real sunlight. I felt depressed and tired all day. Thank God for the sunlight on Monday! I was able to get alot of stuff done then.
Today is Tuesday. This week is a busy week. I have appointments everyday except Friday. Yesterday I was supposed to have a video appointment with my psychiatrist. Today Caleb has a therapy appointment. Tomorrow I have VA phone call appointment and a workshop to attend. Thursday I have a VA phone call with my pharm-D and pool therapy.
It's going to be tough to try to work on the house with all these appointments I have to go to.
In other news, Mike and I broke up. Well, he broke up. He blocked me on Facebook. Quite frankly I don't care. He did me a favor. He found argument in everything I messaged him, balled it up inside until it was convenient for him to lash out. Fuck that! Grow the fuck up dude!
I'm meeting new people already online.
I have to figure out how else to organize the house. I am likely going to have to give some stuff away. I don't know what yet. I have a very small house, and I have collected alot of stuff.
Caleb has to clean his room out. Apparently Bubba has created a disaster area in there. I am getting help to find Caleb a new bed. His frame broke and Bubb tore up his mattress. I have a feeling I am going to have to get in there to clean today. I am not looking forward to it. Throughout the years I have cleaned Caleb's room alot. He is old enough now to clean up after himself. Ugh! Teenagers with disabilities! He has the mind of a 10 year old, but turns 15 this December.
I am trying to keep myself going. I work so hard to get everybody where they need to go, keep food in the house, keep the bills paid, etc. It's hard for me to deal with my own disabilities because I am expected to act like I don't have any. I get no help! I have not completed my VA claim yet for assistance, but I need to get to work on that.
Brian had a heart attack, but he did not message me back to tell me if he was ok. It really upset nana, his mother.
I don't hear from Brian, Jeanette, or RJ regularly so, I guess I shouldn't expect any different now. I don't hear from Mathew, Sherri, or Eric either. Veterans Day just passed on Saturday, and none of them wished me a Happy Veterans Day. NONE. These are my step-brothers and step-sister. These are my brother, half-brother, and half-sister. Noone cares!
More holidays are coming up, and I will see just how alone I am. While everybody is gathering with their families, I will be alone with Caleb and nana. Thank God for Bella and Bubba! They are always in a good mood and ready to cuddle!
I talked to my mom recently. I told her I would like to come visit her, but I have to figure out how to manage it. I don't have the money to travel right now, but maybe I could save up.
I lost touch with Granny and Pepere. I need to call them later this morning.
I lost touch with my Aunt Lisa too.
I recently weighed in at just barely less than 300 lbs. It took me a long time to get my weight down. I hope it gets easier as I go along. It's about consistency. I have to remain in ketosis consistently to lose weight. That's the hard part! Who doesn't want a pizza every so often? I love pizza. It's what caused most of my weight gain. I was depressed and unable to cook for myself and Caleb, so I would order Domino's because they deliver.
I want to visit my dad's gravesite in December. I just want to sit there and cry for as long as I need to. This December marks 1 year since my dad passed away. Life just hasn't been the same without him. He always had something funny to say. I miss seeing him happy to see me. We had some rough times and we fought, but we never stopped loving eachother.
I think I'm going to get my medications and supplements ready. I'll then take them, and let them digest for a few minutes before going to tidy up my bedroom. It is only 0434 now. I can take my time.
I hear nana snoring. I hope she gets her rest.
Thank you for reading, and have a blessed day!
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