So far, so good

     Well, Monday started at 0430 with a power surge causing the breaker to need to be reset. That did not solve the problems with the outlets. I got Caleb up at 0500. It was his first day of high school. We made it to the bust stop early. He has the same bus number and driver as last year. I like him! 

    I got back inside rushing to the bathroom from having to hold it while waiting for Caleb's bus. I made it in time. Nana and I left to take her to get her labs done right after that. I drove to the wrong clinic, but we got the address to the right clinic. We made it in and out pretty quickly. I was happy about that. I got Nana back home and to her room. We were able to get the wheelchair in and out of the house as we needed to.

    I had to take Bella to the vet for her appointment next. I was trying to find a harness but was running out of time. I found a harness, but it was a weird one that I did not know how to use properly, so I made it up. Bella and I got there early, and I remembered to take her outside to relieve herself before going into the vet's office. It was a good thing too. She really had to go! Thank God I didn't have to pick that up. Bella's vet appointment went well. I could not afford to do everything I wanted to do for her, so we took a couple things off the list so I could do as much as I could afford. We went home after she had her exam and shots done. I took her outside again because she was starting to have an accident in the vet's office. She really had to go again! Man! I felt bad she was holding so much poop inside.

    We got home and I needed to rest. Jonathan was coming over during his lunch break to take care of our lawn. I had a quick lunch and went to lie down in bed.

    Caleb called me from school at 1300. He wanted me to pick him up because his back was hurting. I told him "It's the first day of school! You need to stay there the whole day!" I did not go to pick him up. He told me he was crying at the nurse's office because it hurt so bad. He then told me he fell off his skateboard a few days ago and hurt himself.

    At 1400, I had an appointment with our family therapist virtually. I think Katelyn forgot Caleb started school that day.

    Caleb got home around 1615. I didn't feel like I could cook dinner because I was so exhausted and in pain. That was just too much for one day. 

    Caleb was happy about JROTC and told me as soon as he got on the bus to come home that he would be getting his uniform on Tuesday.

    Caleb came home and was able to reconfigure the way our electronics were set up to get them powered up again. I waws without my CPAP, portable air conditioner, and bidet all day. Nana was without her bidet and the ability to charge her phone. I tried resetting each breaker to see if that made a difference. It didn't. I tried flipping the main breaker to see if that made a difference, and it didn't. I could not remember how we solved the problem the last time we had to deal with it. After Caleb got my portable a/c working, I was so relieved. It was getting too warm in there without it running. Then when I saw what he did, I remembered that the electrician had us change out the old surge protector power strips the last time to see if that made a difference. It did when Caleb did it. Those surge protector power strips have a lifetime of 1 power surge before needing to be replaced. The last time, it didn't help, and we still needed the electrician to test the outlets. I think he ended up replacing an outlet. I don't have money now, so I am glad I did not have to call an electrician to get this fixed. I can't sleep without my a/c on and CPAP on. 

    Yesterday was Tuesday. I got Caleb to the bus stop early again and he caught the bus with no problems. I walked home afterwards, and tried to see if hape' and a Medterra Focus CBD gummy would help me with my whole body pain so that I might be able to work. I was not able to work at all, all day. I needed rest badly.

    After Caleb came home, Mallory arrived. I'm glad that appointment is over for the week. I did not feel like talking to anyone because I was still exhausted. When we were done talking, I ended up going out to Lowe's Foods to grab a rotisserie chicken for dinner. I splurged and got Nana and me salads from the salad bar. I'm really loving their freshly made sourdough bread from the bakery, so I stocked up on that too. I then came home and delivered Nana her dinner. I had to run back out to Food Lion to get some other things we needed. It was so hot outside, and my Mazda a/c is not currently working. I have no money to get it fixed either. I was sweating up a storm. I came home after all that and had my dinner though. It was very satisfying, and I was glad I did not have to cook. All thanks to Nana being able to write me a check so I had money in my account. I woke up that morning to find my balance was negative. I had $85 when I went to bed, and I knew I had written Jonathan a check for mowing the grass. Yesterday morning I woke up with - $35 in my checking account. What happened? Well, apparently I made a charge that was taken out on a hold, then released back to my account, and then the charge cleared. So I thought I had more money than I actually did. Ugh! Thank Heavens for Nana saving me!

    Caleb tried on his JROTC dress uniform when he came home. The pants were too tight, but everything else fit him. I was trying to get him to take a shower, but he never did. He fell asleep multiple times because he was tired, and I kept waking him up to go shower. He woke up, but never made it to taking a shower. I'm going to tell him as soon as he comes home today to take a shower. Oops! I forgot the Katelyn will be here when he gets home today. We have an appointment with her. 

    Later on tonight we are going to meet the Resource Officer at the American Legion close to home. I am hoping he can direct me to how I can get my plumbing, electrical, and car fixed since I don't have any money. 

    I still haven't received my debit card from my bank yet. I don't know how I will be able to pay my bills without one. I hope it gets here sooner than later.

    I'm kinda tired this morning. I have alot of house work that needs to be done. I don't really feel like working. I just want to rest in bed. 

    I am trying to figure out what I can get done without causing myself to have another fibromyalgia flare up like I did yesterday. I bought ground beef on sale yesterday with the thought that I would make hamburgers tonight, but I completely forgot about Katelyn coming at 1600 and having to show up at the American Legion at 1830. So, if I want to make the burgers to have for dinner, I have to make them before Caleb gets home.

    I'm feeling a little better since blogging. I feel like I need to go check in with Nana and get my Nana time. I know I've been wanting to take a shower, so that's on my list of things I must do today. I have to let the dogs outside and make sure they have water. I guess I will start with those things and see how I feel afterwards.

    Thanks for reading! Keep us in your prayers! Have a blessed day! Much love!

Monday morning

     It is now 0013 on Monday morning. Caleb starts school today. I cannot sleep due to being too warm. I had to get up to cool off and get something to drink. I have been up since 2330. I was clearing out junk emails from my business email account. Then I went to my dad's memorial website and viewed all the photos I posted. I wish Mathew would have posted some photos. Nobody else posted photos. I had good times with my dad when Caleb was younger. We took him to the pool, the aquarium, the battleship, the beach, and the park just to name a few places. I wanted to give Caleb experiences he would remember. I wonder if he remembers them though. One day I will ask him.

    We are supposed to wake up at 0500 today. Caleb's bus is supposed to be here at 0624. We are supposed to go out to the bus stop at 0614. We have to get up so early because we are both slow to wake up. I have to get Caleb's medications ready for him, and I have to take my own medications and supplements. Today will be a little bit different from what will be a normal school day because I am taking Nana to have her labs taken around 0700. Normally I wouldn't be going out so soon after Caleb gets on the bus. Bella has her vet appointment at 1000. I should be hearing from  our therapist. Normally she would come over at 1300, but since Caleb starts school, she will have to come when he is home. 

    Caleb and I spent the whole afternoon cleaning yesterday. He unloaded the dishwasher and the dish strainer for me. I washed dishes and began loading the dishwasher. I cleaned the stovetop and stove front off. I began cooking a rack of ribs and marinading a London broil. Caleb made a path so the wheelchair could get out of the house. I cleaned and organized my workspace by throwing away old receipts and putting away supplements I am not currently using. I put a trash bag together for Caleb to take out. Caleb took out the trash from Nana's bathroom and the kitchen. He took my trash from my workspace out too. Caleb went to clean out the Mazda of trash. I don't know how deeply he went through the Mazda to clean it out though. I asked him to pile the junk in the backyard so Jonathan could mow the grass for us. He was stopped by a snake that struck at him, but did not bite him. It almost bit him. It scared him into feeling like he was having a heart attack. I cooked sweet potatoes to have with dinner. I began to sweep the kitchen floor and move the cart around to get underneath it. I got alot of trash up and sprayed to kill bugs and put up a bug-free border that is supposed to last 12 months. I don't know how true that is, but I certainly hope so. Caleb was also working on his room at times. I did not see him bring out any trash bags, so I don't know that he was actually cleaning anything while in his room. 

    It was a productive day overall. I was feeling better because I did my hape' and had 2 pre-workout drinks in addition to my medications and supplements in the morning. Caleb woke me up at 0800 telling me he needed his medications. I wasn't ready to get out of bed. I was still tired. I got up though. I was slow moving all morning. 

    I have to remember to tell Caleb to bring the trash bins out to the road when he gets up. 

    I did not get the whole kitchen floor cleaned. I only got the part that is around the cart and in front of the stove. I still have to get under the sink and in front of the refrigerator. Caleb did not pick up all the trash off the living room floor. There is still some left that needs to be picked up and taken out. 

    It was during the morning that I was going through my papers on my workspace. I went through the papers we got from the open house at Caleb's school. He put his schedule and map away along with the syllabi we got. We did not make it to all of his teachers because he was complaining from having to stand so long, and we ended up leaving. His backpack is packed. I told him the rule about not using his phone during school hours, and he understood. He is really excited to get to wear the JROTC uniforms. He wants to know everything in advance. He doesn't want to wait to learn! LOL Like, that is why there is a class! LOL

    I'm getting tired again. I hope today goes well with all that is going on. I will likely crash out after taking Bella to the vet and coming home. I will just take a long nap until Caleb comes home. I think I'm ready to go back to bed now. I have to get back up in a few hours. I better get my sleep while I can.

    Thank you for reading! Keep us in your prayers! Have a blessed day! Much love!

Saturday morning

    It is now 0107 on Saturday morning. I woke up about 20 minutes ago or so from being too warm to sleep. I fell asleep easily with a full belly of fettucine with spaghetti sauce I made with ground beef, zucchini, and yellow squash, topped with parmesan cheese. It was delicious and oh so satisfying after a stressful day. I woke up at 0330 Friday morning and read the text message that Nana was not feeling ok. I got out of bed and went to check on her. She has white coat syndrome and was due to have her labs taken later that morning. She was feeling like she was going to pass out and wanted to reschedule her labs. I took CBD gummies to put me back to sleep, but I could not fall asleep right away. It took several hours before I crashed in bed. I slept a good portion of the morning until Caleb woke me up. He woke me up just in time to get ready for my telehealth appointment I had for my VA disability claim. I got myself ready except I did not do my hair. 

    The appointment began at 1100. It was with a psychiatrist and I had to answer questions about my PTSD. It was not an easy appointment. When I was done with the appointment, I went back to bed for several hours. When I got up I was chatting with Christinia. We were chatting about the things going on. I recently had someone steal my debit card information and make fraudulent charges on my account. I had to report it and have my debit card reissued. I was supposed to bring the Mazda to the auto shop yesterday morning, but did not have enough money to pay for service, so I didn't. I really wanted to make pasta after having what felt like a hard day. 

    It is now 0203. I was hanging out with Nana. She is watching tv. 

    Today I hope to get the whole living room vacuumed and reorganized. I need to get it done. I need to wash the rest of the laundry too. I also have to clean the kitchen, but I can manage that on my own if I have to. 

    Bella has her vet appointment on Monday morning. I had to cancel Bubba's appointment because I no longer have enough money to cover all his shots. I need to find a way to make money. I don't make enough to cover all my expenses. I still have to get the a/c fixed on the Mazda and have the plumbing fixed so we don't have the same problem again with it getting clogged.

    I don't feel like I can fall asleep again. I want to go lie down, but I need to cool off after being in Nana's room. 

    I am so thirsty all the time. I got up and had a grapefruit that was not juicy. Then I had some orange juice. Not much later I drank a diet ginger ale. Here I am drinking another diet ginger ale. Diabetes sucks!

    I checked my numbers for the first time in awhile last night after I ate dinner. My glucose was 199 and my ketones were 0.4. Not bad considering all the carbs I ate during the day and for dinner! I couldn't believe that my ketones were so high! I was almost in ketosis! Ketosis is when ketones are at 0.5 or higher. 

    I am excited at the prospect of starting to walk on my incline trainer again. After I get the living room cleaned and organized, I will be able to use it again. I want to be able to practice the Yoga for Trauma routines on the floor too. I want to start healing myself again. I felt so good when I was working out consistently back in 2014. I got to be in the best shape of my life! I love looking back at how I looked back then. I was so fit. I want to look like that again. I am scared to have sagging skin after losing so much weight though. It won't stop me from trying to get fit though. I will have the skin removal surgery if I have to. I have already thought about it.

    I am vaping a different brand of e-juice. I don't like it as much as my regular brand. This one makes my lips and tongue burn. There is no menthol cooling feeling when I vape it. 

    I don't know why I feel so warm. I am in the living room at the dining table in direct opposition to the window a/c unit that is on. I feel the cold air, but I am warm. 

    Caleb starts school on Monday. He got his shipment of 5 subject notebooks from amazon yesterday. He needs at least one we know of for sure for his English class. He already packed his backpack. We got him a short haircut, he shaved his beard, and he cut his fingernails and toe nails! I've been on him about cutting his nails for a long time, and he finally got it done. I'm proud of him and I am happy he now has a good reason to keep up his appearance. He is ready to wear the JROTC uniform now. I had to buy him new socks because I don't know what happened to all the other socks he had. Caleb was asking me questions about shaving his face. I told him that I don't know anything about face shaving and he needs to ask a man. I got some advice from Zach at Amsterdam Life when I went on Thursday. He says it pays to use after shave, and to try Shave Magic to help prevent the ingrown hairs Caleb gets.

    It is now 0235 and Caleb just woke up. I guess we are all having trouble sleeping. Well, Nana is a night owl.  She doesn't normally sleep at night. She sounds alot better now than she did yesterday morning when she wasn't feeling well. I think I might do some hape'.

    Ahhh! That feels better!

    I am using the Four Visions Market Bobinsana Limited Edition hape'. It is what has helped me through my grief. I am finally pulling out of the major depression I was suffering. I had no energy and just wanted to hibernate, but life was telling me I had to function. I had so many responsibilities and could not handle them all. I am still struggling with the amount of work I have to do, but at least now I am making progress.

    I miss my dad all the time. I remember the good times and the bad times we had together and still miss him. He liked to joke around alot. I will never meet another man like my dad. 

    The only thing about doing hape' is that it makes me more thirsty! LOL

    I thought about catching up on my reading now that I have the Yoga for Trauma book. I received it in the mail yesterday. I have to read the first 5 chapters to catch up to where I am in the class. I thought I bought it before, but I couldn't find it. I have it now though, so I better start catching up on the reading in my free time. 

    I took a selfie the other morning and am really happy about how it turned out. I am smiling and showing my teeth! My hair is freshly greased and I was feeling good. I have not taken a selfie like that in a long time. I haven't been feeling up to smiling much. 

    I was thinking about starting to go to church again. I want to meet more Jehovah's Witnesses because I love Carla and Tyrone so much. I already know I am not a Jehovah's Witness. I love my holiday celebrations and won't give them up. Life is too short. They had a convention last weekend that I wanted to try to watch virtually but never did. I can't wait to see Carla again so she can tell me all about it.

    I pray that I have a productive day today. I am so close to having the living room the way I want it. I just want to be done with it already.

    I am hoping the hottest days of the Summer are over now. It hasn't been easy driving around without air conditioning in the Mazda. I had to cancel several appointments because it was too hot to drive to Wilmington and back without air conditioning. Once I get the air conditioning fixed, I need to reschedule those appointments. 

    I have been using a pre-workout drink powder. Turns out it is safe for me to have 700mg of caffeine a day based on what the FDA says based on my weight. Each scoop added to 8 oz. of water is 250mg of caffeine. The other day I had 2 drinks and was ok. No bad side effects. No shaking or seizures or anything like that. I don't consume caffeine from any other sources. I use to drink Diet Mountain Dew all day long. I quit drinking it after Christinia told me how bad it is for me. 

    It is now 0309. 

    Well, I just killed time reading Facebook posts. It is now 0325. I got my SkinnyFit box yesterday in the mail. I am hoping it doesn't taste bad and actually works. I will give it a try later today and see what I think.

    A big part of my problem losing weight without exercising is that I am always hungry and thirsty. I always want to eat something and drink something. I feel like when I try to quit vaping it will only get worse. I use to always have a water bottle in my hand everywhere I went when I was in college. I was taking diet supplements back then too. I took Metamucil daily in a protein shake that I had for lunch. I had oatmeal for breakfast. I had either chicken breast or tilapia fillet with vegetables and rice for dinner. I used a Far-infrared sauna to help me recover from working out and help with my pain. I ended up just using the treadmill for my workouts and would walk at varying levels of inclination for specific periods of time all while listening to my favorite music at the time. I hope to get back into that lifestyle. I won't eat tilapia though. I have heard it is not good because it is a bottom-feeder. I am trying new weight loss supplements. Right now I am trying something called "ThermoDyne" that I bought from GNC on sale. I am not having bad side effects. I don't think I am losing weight either though. I have noticed that I am feeling better, but I attribute that to another supplement I began at the same time called "Primal Queen." Maybe it has to do with both of them working together. I bought 2 other weight loss supplements to give a try and see if they help me during the Buy 2, Get 1 Free sale at GNC. 

    I don't really want to read the Yoga For Trauma book right now, but that is what I should be doing. I just kind of want to sit here. Actually, I would like to go to bed. I want to get up when my alarm goes off and start my day with good energy. I don't feel like I can sleep though. 

    Caleb had to take all the drawers out of the freezer yesterday because ice was everywhere and he had to clean it out. I guess the freezer was not fully closing. I hope he rectified the situation.

    I think I am going to make a rack of ribs today and a London broil. I still have molho leftover. I want to eat as much of it as I can. LOL I don't think Nana wants any more London broil, so I am making her the ribs to share with Caleb while I eat the beef. Caleb can have whatever he chooses. I've got to cook the broccoli today too. The London broil has to be set in a marinade. Otherwise it is tough to chew. 

    It is now 0348. I don't know what to do with myself. I am thinking about going ahead and getting my morning medications and supplements together and taking them. I don't know if I will try to stay up after that though. If I do, I will likely go ahead and take care of my morning routines, and start my day. I never brushed my hair or reapplied hair care products to it yesterday, so I definitely need to do that this morning. I guess I could get the laundry started. I still have a basket of Caleb's clean clothes in my room that I need to fold so he can put them away. I want to be sure he has most of clothes already cleaned and put away  before Monday comes. Well, one step at a time. I guess I will just wait and see how it goes. I may just end up lying in bed until the sun comes up. Who knows what the future holds? LOL

    Thank you for reading! Keep us in your prayers! Have a blessed day! Much love!

Early morning wakeup

     I woke up at 0330 this morning. It's now 0443. I have already taken my morning medications and supplements. I did my morning hape'. I'm feeling good. Today is Thursday and I am glad the week is almost over. It has been busy. Yesterday I was able to work on the living room. Caleb and I put together the new shop vac I bought. I began moving stuff around and reorganizing things. I also began shop vac-ing the carpet. Mallory came over to check progress and was happy to see that I was working. She brought over a packet of resources for us to reach out to for assistance with the plumbing. Katelyn came by too. She met with Caleb because I lost my voice, and after meeting with Mallory, I needed a nap. 

    Last night was the second night of trying Medterra Sleep CBD gummy. I thought it would help me sleep through the whole night, but it doesn't. I keep waking up to use the bathroom and drink water. I am trying the Medterra Focus CBD gummy during the day. I tried it yesterday and it worked well I think. I was able to work on the living room all morning. I kind of crashed around 12:30 and needed to rest though. I am going to try again later this morning when I am ready to start working again.

    Tuesday was busy day too. Caleb had his psychiatrist appointment early in the morning. After we left there, we went to Walmart to restock on drinks. On the way home, I stopped to put gas in the Mazda, and found that all the Murphy gas pumps were disabled! I ended up paying almost 20 cents per gallon more for my gas at the BP station down the road. I was sooo hungry that I could not wait to get home to eat too. I stopped at the Taco Bell and got us all something to eat. While we were eating in the parking lot, Caleb noticed smoked coming from the tree area. I saw that it was coming from a cigarette stand where you put the cigarettes out in. He went to tell someone from inside Taco Bell. It could have started a fire. You are supposed to put the cigarette out before putting it in one of those things. The Taco Bell worker was grateful for Caleb. We then drove home. I had my phone appointment with Dr. Kent at 2:00. It was hard because I had already lost my voice that morning. I kept using a bad coil on my e-cigarette and it burned the back of my throat irritating it, driving me to cough all night long, waking up without a voice. Anyway, Caleb's school's open house was Tuesday at 4:00. We arrived a little late. I was confused that a school map was not available at the front door. We were expected to walk around the school without a map to show us where to go. Caleb and I figured it out and asked for help as much as needed. We picked up his schedule from his homeroom teacher. Caleb is taking JROTC this year! He is excited! I am happy for him! We walked around the school and met some of Caleb's teachers. We met the JROTC teacher. He has a sense of humor, and I am glad about that. We met his English teacher. I talked to someone about who is allowed to pick Caleb up, and someone about being registered on the parent portal. We stopped and talked with the school nurse. We skipped checking in with Caleb's school counselor because the line was so long to speak to her. Caleb was complaining that he was sore from standing so long and wanted to go home, so we did after we spoke to the JROTC teacher. We ran into one of our neighbors, who happens to work at the high school in the JROTC program. Caleb does not get along with him usually. He is the JROTC Commander, so he is going to have to learn how to deal with him. 

    Monday I spent the day prepping dinner. I made molho, London broil, and broccoli for dinner. The London broil has to be in a marinade for several hours. I did not buy enough tomatoes for the right ratio to the amount of curly parsley and green onions I bought, so I had to run to Food Lion to buy more. I ended up buying too many grape tomatoes! LOL Ugh. Now I have to figure out how to use the rest of the tomatoes that I did not use in the molho. It all turned out good though. Was a lot of work, but the molho is enough for whole week. The London broil is big enough for 2 dinners. We rarely have London broil or molho, so it was a treat. I thought I was going to have a good night's sleep, but I ended up coughing all night long.

    Yesterday Caleb shaved his beard to get ready for JROTC. I took him to get his haircut too. He is such a handsome young man. We went to Lowe's Foods to buy some Sourdough bread, and found that Wednesday is $4.99 sushi day on select varieties. I bought everyone a sushi tray, knowing that I did not have the energy to come home, clean the kitchen, and cook dinner. 

    Today we have no scheduled appointments. Tomorrow Nana has to go get her labs done. I am supposed to bring the Mazda to the auto shop after that. I have not figured out how I am going to get back home. I am supposed to drop the Mazda off. I don't know that I will though. I have not decided. I don't have enough money to pay for getting the car fixed and for both dogs to go the vet. I thought I would wait on getting the a/c fixed in the Mazda and take care of both dogs. I don't know how much longer I can take not having a/c in the Mazda though. It gets so hot in there. I might have to reschedule Bubba's vet appointment for later next month.

    I have a phone appointment tomorrow too. It's for my VA claim exam. I don't know if I will have my voice back by then so I can't confirm it. I might need to reschedule it. I really don't want to though. 

    I am trying to spend all day cleaning the house today. I need to catch up on all the laundry Caleb has back in the laundry room. I want the living room to be squared away by the end of the day. I am hoping to help Caleb clean his room before school starts on Monday so he has a clean place to put all of his clean clothes. 

    I'm not looking forward to having to wake up so early Monday through Friday again. I am looking forward to Caleb going back to school. High school was fun for me, and I hope it is fun for him too. 

    It is now 0531. I guess I could go get ready for the day. I have to do my personal hygiene routines. I am trying to keep myself occupied so Caleb can sleep a little bit longer. He woke up in the middle of the night because he had a nightmare again. 

    I'm just thinking about all the stuff we normally do before school starts. I normally take Caleb to his doctor for his annual wellness check-up and physical, flu shot, and Covid shot. I get my shots as well. I have to plan to get Nana to take her shots while she is out of the house either tomorrow or next week when she is at her doctor appointment. 

    Caleb was given a school supply bag by Mallory. We are so grateful. 

    I was going to try to buy Caleb some new school clothes, but I don't have the money to cover all these expenses at the same time. I only wanted to make sure he is wearing the right clothes for gym. His clothes that he has still fit him. He does not take gym class until next semester. 

    I ate Cheetos for the first time in years last night. They were yummy! I am totally going to quit trying to do a keto lifestyle. I love my fruits too much. Eating fruits keep me from wanting candy, cookies, and doughnuts. 

    It's hurricane season. I'm trying not to live in a panic state. I'm trying these different varieties of CBD gummies from Medterra to help me. I was using Blue Vibe CBD gummies successfully, but they don't sell these anymore. Soooo.... I am trying different brands that have come up on my Facebook feed. Medterra is the first brand that I wanted to try because they had CBD gummies for different uses. Speaking of which, it's time for me to take the Focus gummy!

    I have had no interest from others in my Reiki service. I might just close the business. I can't afford to keep coming out of pocket to run it. I do need a side hustle though. I don't know what I can do. I have to do some research. I really wanted to serve others by giving Reiki sessions and teaching classes. My schedule doesn't really allow for much though. I don't have the time I need to give to it. I'm so all over the place all the time, being pulled in a million different directions. 

    I still want to write a book. I want to read some of the books that I have first though. I want to learn stuff before I sit and begin writing. I want to be able to use these books as references. I need quiet time, which I don't normally get when Caleb is home. He is hyperactive and loud. 

    I am planning on beginning to walk again on my incline trainer. I have to clear it off first which I will do as I am cleaning the living room. I want to start practicing the Yoga for Trauma routines too. I need to clear the floor space first though. My schedule is going to be different once Caleb starts school on Monday. I need to try to plan in advance. I have a lot going on next week as it is. Lots of appointments. 

    I never heard from anyone about my writing in any of the 3 books I contributed to. I wonder if there are any comments or reviews somewhere that say anything I might find useful. 

    I'm going to start my day. 

    Thank you for reading! It makes me feel heard. Keep us in your prayers! We could always use a little help. Have a blessed day! 

When I can't Sleep

     It is Saturday morning at 0256. I have been awake for more than an hour. I can't fall asleep and stay asleep. Bella followed me out to where I work and is sleeping under the kitchen table. I just recorded the Yoga For Trauma Yoga Practice for week 3. I am recording them so I am able to watch them on my phone even after the course is over. The other students graduated last week. I am just finishing week 3 though, so I didn't graduate with them. I lost the book that I am supposed to be reading along with watching the videos, so I had to buy it again. 

    This week has not been easy. We were without running toilets all week, and it stunk! Oh man! I had to find a way to get the money to pay the plumber. I reached out for help and even had a gofundme created. No one donated to the gofundme at all. I reached out to the VFW and they were able to donate directly to the plumber a portion of the balance due yesterday. I reached out to the DAV, but they were not able to help me at all. I wanted to reach out to the American Legion, but I don't have any contacts there yet. I just joined the American Legion this year, whereas I have been members of the VFW and DAV for years. It took more than one try to fix the problem,  paid almost $2.000.00 that I did not have to spend. I had to withdraw from Caleb's 529 Plan that I put away when he was a baby so he could go to college one day. Roto-rooter was able to find the blockage and the problem. I have to save up for them to be able to fix what is causing the blockage. It is a back flow that is creating the problem. In any case, I am just happy to have both my toilets running again. The stench was horrible. We had to use the toilets even though they weren't flushing, so our sewage just collected in the toilets. I could not afford to pay the plumbers earlier, so we had to wait for the withdrawal to complete. So glad that is over with!

    I was able to make appointments for Bella and Bubba to go to the vet and have their shots updated. I have been putting  it off, but I don't want them to get ill or die. The appointments are not cheap either. I will be glad once they are taken care of though. At least the shots last a few years.

    The air conditioner on the Mazda has stopped working. I am thinking it needs the temperature control looked at. It works when it wants to, which means the air conditioning works just not when it is supposed to. It's too hot here to drive without air conditioning though. I am sure that is not going to be cheap to fix either. 

    I am praying that I have enough money to pay for all this stuff as soon as possible. I am asking everybody for help. Under normal circumstances I struggle to buy groceries. Now I have even more I have to pay for. 

    I had a seizure while I was standing in Nana's room having a conversation with her. I lost my ability to speak coherently. Eventually I went to rest in my bed after trying to say things on my mind. I checked my blood sugar. It was 139, which is not low. I missed my appoointment with the VA's pharmD because I fell asleep and did not hear the alarm I set to wake me up in time. It was a phone call appointment. 

    I'm no longer on the keto diet. I am thinking about quitting Virta. I am tired of trying. I enjoy life much more now that I am eating fruits and vegetables I have not had in what seems like years. 

    Christinia got pissed off at us and I have not heard from her since then. I need her to pay me back for the things I did for her and Harlee. I hope she gets a remote work from home job quickly now that Harlee is back in school. I bought Harlee school clothes with money I had at the time, and now I need the money back to buy Caleb's school clothes. 

    Caleb starts school at the end of the month. I am sure he will need gym clothes to change into everyday. The open house is coming up this Tuesday I think. I wonder what his schedule is going to look like. It will be his first year of high school this year. He wants to join JROTC if he can. 

    It's now 0328. I am not tired but I want to go lie down. I don't know what to do with myself. I am going to be tired all day if I don't get the sleep I need now. I did some hape' earlier. I kinda feel like maybe I should do more now. It helps me relax. I would take CBD, but I don't want to sleep all morning long. I want to get up when my alarm goes off at 0700. Same thing for the delta-8 gummies, but those are stronger and would make me tired all day with like a hangover effect. Takes too long for the gummies to digest and work fojr me. I have really slow metabolism.

    I miss my dad. If he were alive, I would call him now. We would be laughing over toilet  jokes. 

    I need to quit vaping. It's expensive and bad for my health. I don't know how I am going to act without it though. I have a Calmigo to use that I have not tried yet. I could use that.

    I made pork chops in the crockpot yesterday. I seasoned them with McCormick fajita seasoning and added a little bit of olive oil to the crockpot because they had no fat on them. Turned out tasty. I overcooked them because I fell asleep though. They were still edible! Caleb ate alot of it and so did I.

    I'm thinking about what I might like to make tonight for dinner. We have leftover taco meat from the day before yesterday. Depends on how I feel when the time comes. I might not have the energy to cook.

    Caleb woke up about an hour ago and asked me what I was doing. I was recording the Yoga exercise video. I guess he couldn't sleep either.

    I was able to stock up on gallons of Spring water this week. It's so important for us to keep water because it is hurricane season here. I went ahead and bought some canned foods too. I feel less stressed.

    Wal-mart had clothes my size on clearance! It is the end of Summer and that is when I do my shopping because that is when I can afford the stuff I need in the quantities I need them. I was able to buy a bunch of tank tops for $2.00 a peice! I will be working out in them and getting the house cleaned up in them. I need them to stay cool. I wear Summer clothes year-round because I stay hot no matter the temperature. I am just always having heat flashes and my internal temperature stays too warm for comfort. 

    I need a side hustle to bring in money to my home. I have not been able to reach customers for my Reiki practice and I don't know why. Nana benefits from it when I give her Reiki. She had a session she paid for and wrote an honest review. Part of my problem is not having customers, and the other part of my problem is not having the number of reviews required by heal.me to be a listed Reiki practice. It's really frustrating. I want to help people, but get paid for my time as well.

    It will cost about $1,700.00 to fix the back flow in the backyard plumbing. I have to find a way to make money so that I can have enough to save to pay the plumbers.   

    My VA examination for my compensation claim was cancelled and rescheduled. Now I have to wait until September 9th to get it over with.

    Nana has appointments coming up. I was hoping to get the Mazda to the auto shop before then but I can't. 

    In the last few days I have had really productive days. I started re-organizing the living room yesterday. I got the mattress out to the front porch and I picked up a bag of trash. I cleaned out a few storage containers too. I had to replace my shop vac since the old one has no suction. I took it to the front porch too. I will be able to empty the front porch when Mallory, the social worker, brings the trash pod over. She and a few of her workmates are volunteering to help us clear the trash out of the house once the trash pod is scheduled to come.

    I got quite a few loads of laundry washed and folded. I am still trying to catch up. I fell so far behind while I wasn't feeling well. I think my energy levels have changed because of 2 new supplements I am taking now. One is called Primal Queen and is made of beef organs. The other one is a weight-loss supplement from GNC. I started taking them both at the same time. They help me alot. I think I really get help from the Primal Queen because I have iron-deficient anemia to begin with. I take an iron pill every morning but I am supposed to take it on an empty stomach and I don't. I have a slice of keto bread every morning before I take all my medications and supplements to keep me from feeling sick to my stomach.

    My individual therapy appointments got cancelled for the rest of the month. I wonder why. They have not been reschedulede yet either.

    I had to buy bug control supplies again. I hate bugs in my house except for spiders which eat the flies that come inside when Caleb leaves the back door open for the dogs.

    I finally had the money to get my oil changed! Glad I got it done.

    I have alot of work to get done. It is now 0416. My alarm goes off at 0530 during the weekdays, but 0700 on the weekends. I could go ahead and watch week 4 on the instructional videos of Yoga For Trauma if I don't want to go to bed. That's normally what I do when I can't sleep these days. I study the Yoga For Trauma. It's the only quiet time I have to pay attention during the day. Caleb is loud and high energy all day long. 

    I am just sitting here thinking about how I want to proceed. I don't think I can fall asleep is the problem. Maybe I will just get my medications and supplements ready and start my work. I have alot of house cleaning left to do. I have a basket of laundry on my bed that I need to sort through and fold. I have a ton of laundry to wash in the laundry room, and I need to organize the living room of all these drinks Caleb left everywhere out of place. 

    Thank you for reading! Keep us in your prayers! Have a blessed day!

    

What a Week!

     It is now 0640 and I have been awake since 0330. This week was crazy because of the brace for impact of Hurricane Debby. Caleb and I rushed to get supplies to hunker down. It was exhausting. Thank God Debby changed course before hitting us, and was de-escalated to a Tropical Storm before hitting the Carolinas. I am so glad that is over with. I could not focus on anything else other than our safety. It was exhausting.

    This morning I made it through Week 3 of the Yoga for Trauma program! I have tried several times to answer the after class questions with no success, until now. I am glad to be able to move forward. The other students are graduating this Monday. I fell behind in my studies and never caught up. I won't be graduating this class with my classmates. I am continuing the program though, and will graduate with the next cohort.

    I am still struggling over here. I need a plumber badly and can't afford to hire one. Both toilets are not flushing properly. We already had the city unclog their side of the sewer pipes which were clogged with flushable wipes they said. I need a plumber because it's still clogged on our side.

    Caleb starts school at the end of the month. I am trying to get him new school clothes because a lot of his shirts are stained, and a lot of his bottoms have holes.

    I have a lot of appointments this coming up week. It's overwhelming to say the least. 

    I had to ask for help to get emergency supplies. I did not have enough money to stock up on things like shelf-stable foods and water. Thank God my Aunt Lisa was able to help me!

    Today I think is going to be a good productivity day. I hope to make a huge impact on all the cleaning I need to do. I have a ton of laundry to wash. I keep starting it, and then not finishing it.

    I am searching for a book I am certain I bought for my Yoga for Trauma class. I can't find it. I may have to buy another one.

    Caleb's ADHD medication was available yesterday. It has not been available at the pharmacy all year! We finally got the prescription filled.

    I had to reschedule my VA C&P examination to this coming up week. I am praying that I get approved for Aid & Attendance. I desperately need it. 

    I am trying some new supplements. One is called "Primal Queen" and is composed of beef organs. Another is a diet supplement meant to help me lose weight. I am not being successful at losing weight on Ozempic. I feel like the CBD gummy I take has the effect of making me want to eat more and is fighting the Ozempic eat less feeling. I need the CBD though. It has been helping me a lot with my chronic anxiety. 

    I got a bill for the ambulance run I required a few months ago. I must have forgotten to call the VA's 72 hour notice number. 

    Caleb just woke up. It's now 0700.

    Bella and Bubba are doing fine. I have not been able to afford to take them to the vet for their regular shots and checkups. I have to find a way to bring money in.

    I haven't had a lot of energy lately. It's a daily struggle to get anything done. I tried caffeine pills, but they don't help. I need energy! I don't know how to create energy for myself. I eat more than I should if I want to lose weight, so it's not that I lack food. I drink enough water. I need to exercise, but getting started is the hardest part because I have no energy to begin with. I try to sleep through the night, but often wake up multiple times throughout the night and wake up tired. I've got to figure this out if I want to live the life I want to live.

    I could probably use a shower today. I have a rash from sweat and skin rubbing itself under my left breast. It hurts, but I am using an ointment prescribed to me just for this problem I suffer a lot in the Summer time. Hopefully it heals quickly and I can go back to wearing my sports' bras. 

    I think I need a cup of coffee this morning. I add all kinds of stuff to my coffee. I add Hershey's dark cocoa, mushroom coffee, almond milk, and Splenda. I wonder if Nana is awake. I have been wanting to wake her up since I got up. LOL I didn't though. She needs her rest.

    I gotta get my house together. I can't wait to get to the part where only maintenance is required. This cleaning all the time doesn't leave me time to do things I want to do like reading my books, writing my own book, exercising, singing, learning to play guitar and how to write my own music. 

    Bubba is awake and out now. He comes to me first thing after being let out of Caleb's room. He has got to find his mama. LOL

    I need to find my notebook I have to write notes. I need to see where I stand with all the big plans I have going on. I forget more than half of the stuff I am working on. 

    This journal gives me a good way to reflect on some things in the quiet of the morning before Caleb wakes. It's helpful. It gives me time to think in peace.

    I miss my dad because I would call him when I woke up in the early morning and he would talk to me no matter what time it happened to be. He was always joking around. I miss him so much. 

    I have been trying to keep up with the Olympics. I will have to go back and watch the gymnastics routines because that's my favorite Summer Olympics' sport. 

    I have also been trying to keep abreast of what is going on here regarding the election season. I know who I am voting for! It's NOT Trump! Totally FOR Kamala Harris!

    I believe we should respect the Constitution, not try to overrule it. 

    I'm ready for Nana time. 

    Thank you for reading! Keep us in your prayers! Have a blessed day! 

Early Monday morning

     It is now 0311 and I have been awake for maybe 2 hours. I would totally be on the phone with dad right now if he were still alive. I can't sleep. I'm wide awake. I decided to rewatch and record the week 1 and week 2 Yoga for Trauma exercises for my library. I was going to watch the week 4 class, but I don't have the attention span needed. I don't remember week 3 class and I still have to answer the questions from that class. The questions are confusing to me even though I have watched that class twice already.

    Yesterday was a shitty day for everyone in the house. None of us had energy to get anything done. I could not even make it to the shower. At the end of the day I was able to cook some shrimp for us and wash a lot of dishes. I hope for a better day today. I need a shower badly. 

    Carla came over for Bible study yesterday. I studied with Carla and Tyrone. I am glad to have been able to spend time with them. They both work so much.

    Caleb's school starts at the end of August. I need to get him some new t-shirts and pants. Maybe some shorts too. 

    I have my C&P VA Exam on Friday. One step closer to getting my Aid & Attendance approved. Man I need that badly. I am not looking forward to going to the appointment though. The last one I had, I was hurt because the doctor was trying to prove I had fibromyalgia. He touched me on my pressure points where fibromyalgia patients complain the most. I was not expecting it to hurt so much. The pressure point on the back of neck, when touched, made me jump from the examination table and cry it hurt so bad. I hope this exam does not hurt me in the process.

    I am still dealing with DSS. Mallory, the social worker, is getting us a trash pod and gathering volunteers to help us clean out our home. Thank God!

    I am still trying to complete the Yoga For Trauma class. I can't seem to pay attention for as long as needed to complete a class and be able to answer the questions.

    I ordered a free weight loss tea blend that I am supposed to be getting in the mail today. I hope it tastes good enough to drink all day like recommended. I also got the introductory offer of another weight loss drink. I think it is labelled "Super Youth." I ordered an ultrasonic wristband that is supposed to help lose weight too. I am sure I got scammed on that one though. I just don't see how something that works like that, can be provided at the cost I paid, and work. I want to try Java Burn, but I don't have the money to buy it. 

    Harlee received her new clothes Saturday after I received them Friday and shipped them via UPS to her. She is a happy girl now. She has clothes to wear to school. 

    I wanted to ship other stuff to Christinia, but didn't have a lot of money to spend. I have stuff all around the house that I can share if only I could afford the shipping and packaging costs. Hopefully she will get a job once Harlee goes back to school.

    I'm desperate to figure out how to increase my energy levels. Caffeine isn't enough to get me going. When I take a caffeine supplement labelled "Extreme Energy", I get the shakes. It's too much for my nervous system. When I drink coffee, I might stay awake but I lack the energy I need to work. I wish I could just find my way to get moving. I listened to music while I cleaned yesterday. Music is a good energy source. I was singing and cleaning. Felt good. I can't wait to exercise again but I have to clean up first.

    I have a ton of laundry to wash. I am not looking forward to it. I have to help Caleb clean his room. He has no clean drawers to put his clean clothes in. He has trash and dishes everywhere. It's really ridiculous. I need the energy to get started and to be able to work to completion.

    Christinia was raggin on me yesterday because "you are the Reiki Master, you should know." Yes, I am a Reiki Master, however it does not mean I hold all the answers of the universe. I'm still human. I still have my own problems I have to sort through. 

    I might have to give up on my Reiki business because I don't have anyone who is interested to try my service. I feel so down about it, because I worked so hard. I have more trainings I need to give my time to though. I want to write my book once I have learned "enough" to write a good book.

    Today Caleb and I both have appointments. His appointment is at home with our family therapist. At the same time, I have an online appointment with my psychiatrist. Carla is coming over at noon to bring something over. I am hoping to be able to take my shower before she arrives. I don't like hugging her when I know I am dirty and stinky, but I do like hugging her.

    I'm excited about the Olympics. I catch clips here and there on Facebook. Congratulations to the winners!

    I am excited about Kamala Harris running for President. I will do everything in my power to support her. I hate Trump and what he stands for. 

    I had the best peaches this morning. I am hoping to buy some more.

    I haven't been doing keto lately. It's too stressful to manage. I'm happier now that I am able to eat fruits and different vegetables. My A1c was 7.3 in my most recent labs! 

    I don't know what to do with my quiet time. I haven't been getting up like I use to everyday. I need to watch more of the Yoga for Trauma classes. Actually I guess I need to rewatch the week 3 class so I can answer the questions. 

    I guess I could go ahead and take my medications too. 

    Thank you for reading! Keep us in your prayers! Have a blessed day! Be well!