The appointment began at 1100. It was with a psychiatrist and I had to answer questions about my PTSD. It was not an easy appointment. When I was done with the appointment, I went back to bed for several hours. When I got up I was chatting with Christinia. We were chatting about the things going on. I recently had someone steal my debit card information and make fraudulent charges on my account. I had to report it and have my debit card reissued. I was supposed to bring the Mazda to the auto shop yesterday morning, but did not have enough money to pay for service, so I didn't. I really wanted to make pasta after having what felt like a hard day.
It is now 0203. I was hanging out with Nana. She is watching tv.
Today I hope to get the whole living room vacuumed and reorganized. I need to get it done. I need to wash the rest of the laundry too. I also have to clean the kitchen, but I can manage that on my own if I have to.
Bella has her vet appointment on Monday morning. I had to cancel Bubba's appointment because I no longer have enough money to cover all his shots. I need to find a way to make money. I don't make enough to cover all my expenses. I still have to get the a/c fixed on the Mazda and have the plumbing fixed so we don't have the same problem again with it getting clogged.
I don't feel like I can fall asleep again. I want to go lie down, but I need to cool off after being in Nana's room.
I am so thirsty all the time. I got up and had a grapefruit that was not juicy. Then I had some orange juice. Not much later I drank a diet ginger ale. Here I am drinking another diet ginger ale. Diabetes sucks!
I checked my numbers for the first time in awhile last night after I ate dinner. My glucose was 199 and my ketones were 0.4. Not bad considering all the carbs I ate during the day and for dinner! I couldn't believe that my ketones were so high! I was almost in ketosis! Ketosis is when ketones are at 0.5 or higher.
I am excited at the prospect of starting to walk on my incline trainer again. After I get the living room cleaned and organized, I will be able to use it again. I want to be able to practice the Yoga for Trauma routines on the floor too. I want to start healing myself again. I felt so good when I was working out consistently back in 2014. I got to be in the best shape of my life! I love looking back at how I looked back then. I was so fit. I want to look like that again. I am scared to have sagging skin after losing so much weight though. It won't stop me from trying to get fit though. I will have the skin removal surgery if I have to. I have already thought about it.
I am vaping a different brand of e-juice. I don't like it as much as my regular brand. This one makes my lips and tongue burn. There is no menthol cooling feeling when I vape it.
I don't know why I feel so warm. I am in the living room at the dining table in direct opposition to the window a/c unit that is on. I feel the cold air, but I am warm.
Caleb starts school on Monday. He got his shipment of 5 subject notebooks from amazon yesterday. He needs at least one we know of for sure for his English class. He already packed his backpack. We got him a short haircut, he shaved his beard, and he cut his fingernails and toe nails! I've been on him about cutting his nails for a long time, and he finally got it done. I'm proud of him and I am happy he now has a good reason to keep up his appearance. He is ready to wear the JROTC uniform now. I had to buy him new socks because I don't know what happened to all the other socks he had. Caleb was asking me questions about shaving his face. I told him that I don't know anything about face shaving and he needs to ask a man. I got some advice from Zach at Amsterdam Life when I went on Thursday. He says it pays to use after shave, and to try Shave Magic to help prevent the ingrown hairs Caleb gets.
It is now 0235 and Caleb just woke up. I guess we are all having trouble sleeping. Well, Nana is a night owl. She doesn't normally sleep at night. She sounds alot better now than she did yesterday morning when she wasn't feeling well. I think I might do some hape'.
Ahhh! That feels better!
I am using the Four Visions Market Bobinsana Limited Edition hape'. It is what has helped me through my grief. I am finally pulling out of the major depression I was suffering. I had no energy and just wanted to hibernate, but life was telling me I had to function. I had so many responsibilities and could not handle them all. I am still struggling with the amount of work I have to do, but at least now I am making progress.
I miss my dad all the time. I remember the good times and the bad times we had together and still miss him. He liked to joke around alot. I will never meet another man like my dad.
The only thing about doing hape' is that it makes me more thirsty! LOL
I thought about catching up on my reading now that I have the Yoga for Trauma book. I received it in the mail yesterday. I have to read the first 5 chapters to catch up to where I am in the class. I thought I bought it before, but I couldn't find it. I have it now though, so I better start catching up on the reading in my free time.
I took a selfie the other morning and am really happy about how it turned out. I am smiling and showing my teeth! My hair is freshly greased and I was feeling good. I have not taken a selfie like that in a long time. I haven't been feeling up to smiling much.
I was thinking about starting to go to church again. I want to meet more Jehovah's Witnesses because I love Carla and Tyrone so much. I already know I am not a Jehovah's Witness. I love my holiday celebrations and won't give them up. Life is too short. They had a convention last weekend that I wanted to try to watch virtually but never did. I can't wait to see Carla again so she can tell me all about it.
I pray that I have a productive day today. I am so close to having the living room the way I want it. I just want to be done with it already.
I am hoping the hottest days of the Summer are over now. It hasn't been easy driving around without air conditioning in the Mazda. I had to cancel several appointments because it was too hot to drive to Wilmington and back without air conditioning. Once I get the air conditioning fixed, I need to reschedule those appointments.
I have been using a pre-workout drink powder. Turns out it is safe for me to have 700mg of caffeine a day based on what the FDA says based on my weight. Each scoop added to 8 oz. of water is 250mg of caffeine. The other day I had 2 drinks and was ok. No bad side effects. No shaking or seizures or anything like that. I don't consume caffeine from any other sources. I use to drink Diet Mountain Dew all day long. I quit drinking it after Christinia told me how bad it is for me.
It is now 0309.
Well, I just killed time reading Facebook posts. It is now 0325. I got my SkinnyFit box yesterday in the mail. I am hoping it doesn't taste bad and actually works. I will give it a try later today and see what I think.
A big part of my problem losing weight without exercising is that I am always hungry and thirsty. I always want to eat something and drink something. I feel like when I try to quit vaping it will only get worse. I use to always have a water bottle in my hand everywhere I went when I was in college. I was taking diet supplements back then too. I took Metamucil daily in a protein shake that I had for lunch. I had oatmeal for breakfast. I had either chicken breast or tilapia fillet with vegetables and rice for dinner. I used a Far-infrared sauna to help me recover from working out and help with my pain. I ended up just using the treadmill for my workouts and would walk at varying levels of inclination for specific periods of time all while listening to my favorite music at the time. I hope to get back into that lifestyle. I won't eat tilapia though. I have heard it is not good because it is a bottom-feeder. I am trying new weight loss supplements. Right now I am trying something called "ThermoDyne" that I bought from GNC on sale. I am not having bad side effects. I don't think I am losing weight either though. I have noticed that I am feeling better, but I attribute that to another supplement I began at the same time called "Primal Queen." Maybe it has to do with both of them working together. I bought 2 other weight loss supplements to give a try and see if they help me during the Buy 2, Get 1 Free sale at GNC.
I don't really want to read the Yoga For Trauma book right now, but that is what I should be doing. I just kind of want to sit here. Actually, I would like to go to bed. I want to get up when my alarm goes off and start my day with good energy. I don't feel like I can sleep though.
Caleb had to take all the drawers out of the freezer yesterday because ice was everywhere and he had to clean it out. I guess the freezer was not fully closing. I hope he rectified the situation.
I think I am going to make a rack of ribs today and a London broil. I still have molho leftover. I want to eat as much of it as I can. LOL I don't think Nana wants any more London broil, so I am making her the ribs to share with Caleb while I eat the beef. Caleb can have whatever he chooses. I've got to cook the broccoli today too. The London broil has to be set in a marinade. Otherwise it is tough to chew.
It is now 0348. I don't know what to do with myself. I am thinking about going ahead and getting my morning medications and supplements together and taking them. I don't know if I will try to stay up after that though. If I do, I will likely go ahead and take care of my morning routines, and start my day. I never brushed my hair or reapplied hair care products to it yesterday, so I definitely need to do that this morning. I guess I could get the laundry started. I still have a basket of Caleb's clean clothes in my room that I need to fold so he can put them away. I want to be sure he has most of clothes already cleaned and put away before Monday comes. Well, one step at a time. I guess I will just wait and see how it goes. I may just end up lying in bed until the sun comes up. Who knows what the future holds? LOL
Thank you for reading! Keep us in your prayers! Have a blessed day! Much love!
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