Early Monday morning

     It is now 0311 and I have been awake for maybe 2 hours. I would totally be on the phone with dad right now if he were still alive. I can't sleep. I'm wide awake. I decided to rewatch and record the week 1 and week 2 Yoga for Trauma exercises for my library. I was going to watch the week 4 class, but I don't have the attention span needed. I don't remember week 3 class and I still have to answer the questions from that class. The questions are confusing to me even though I have watched that class twice already.

    Yesterday was a shitty day for everyone in the house. None of us had energy to get anything done. I could not even make it to the shower. At the end of the day I was able to cook some shrimp for us and wash a lot of dishes. I hope for a better day today. I need a shower badly. 

    Carla came over for Bible study yesterday. I studied with Carla and Tyrone. I am glad to have been able to spend time with them. They both work so much.

    Caleb's school starts at the end of August. I need to get him some new t-shirts and pants. Maybe some shorts too. 

    I have my C&P VA Exam on Friday. One step closer to getting my Aid & Attendance approved. Man I need that badly. I am not looking forward to going to the appointment though. The last one I had, I was hurt because the doctor was trying to prove I had fibromyalgia. He touched me on my pressure points where fibromyalgia patients complain the most. I was not expecting it to hurt so much. The pressure point on the back of neck, when touched, made me jump from the examination table and cry it hurt so bad. I hope this exam does not hurt me in the process.

    I am still dealing with DSS. Mallory, the social worker, is getting us a trash pod and gathering volunteers to help us clean out our home. Thank God!

    I am still trying to complete the Yoga For Trauma class. I can't seem to pay attention for as long as needed to complete a class and be able to answer the questions.

    I ordered a free weight loss tea blend that I am supposed to be getting in the mail today. I hope it tastes good enough to drink all day like recommended. I also got the introductory offer of another weight loss drink. I think it is labelled "Super Youth." I ordered an ultrasonic wristband that is supposed to help lose weight too. I am sure I got scammed on that one though. I just don't see how something that works like that, can be provided at the cost I paid, and work. I want to try Java Burn, but I don't have the money to buy it. 

    Harlee received her new clothes Saturday after I received them Friday and shipped them via UPS to her. She is a happy girl now. She has clothes to wear to school. 

    I wanted to ship other stuff to Christinia, but didn't have a lot of money to spend. I have stuff all around the house that I can share if only I could afford the shipping and packaging costs. Hopefully she will get a job once Harlee goes back to school.

    I'm desperate to figure out how to increase my energy levels. Caffeine isn't enough to get me going. When I take a caffeine supplement labelled "Extreme Energy", I get the shakes. It's too much for my nervous system. When I drink coffee, I might stay awake but I lack the energy I need to work. I wish I could just find my way to get moving. I listened to music while I cleaned yesterday. Music is a good energy source. I was singing and cleaning. Felt good. I can't wait to exercise again but I have to clean up first.

    I have a ton of laundry to wash. I am not looking forward to it. I have to help Caleb clean his room. He has no clean drawers to put his clean clothes in. He has trash and dishes everywhere. It's really ridiculous. I need the energy to get started and to be able to work to completion.

    Christinia was raggin on me yesterday because "you are the Reiki Master, you should know." Yes, I am a Reiki Master, however it does not mean I hold all the answers of the universe. I'm still human. I still have my own problems I have to sort through. 

    I might have to give up on my Reiki business because I don't have anyone who is interested to try my service. I feel so down about it, because I worked so hard. I have more trainings I need to give my time to though. I want to write my book once I have learned "enough" to write a good book.

    Today Caleb and I both have appointments. His appointment is at home with our family therapist. At the same time, I have an online appointment with my psychiatrist. Carla is coming over at noon to bring something over. I am hoping to be able to take my shower before she arrives. I don't like hugging her when I know I am dirty and stinky, but I do like hugging her.

    I'm excited about the Olympics. I catch clips here and there on Facebook. Congratulations to the winners!

    I am excited about Kamala Harris running for President. I will do everything in my power to support her. I hate Trump and what he stands for. 

    I had the best peaches this morning. I am hoping to buy some more.

    I haven't been doing keto lately. It's too stressful to manage. I'm happier now that I am able to eat fruits and different vegetables. My A1c was 7.3 in my most recent labs! 

    I don't know what to do with my quiet time. I haven't been getting up like I use to everyday. I need to watch more of the Yoga for Trauma classes. Actually I guess I need to rewatch the week 3 class so I can answer the questions. 

    I guess I could go ahead and take my medications too. 

    Thank you for reading! Keep us in your prayers! Have a blessed day! Be well!