Today's prompt is "________ is completely ridiculous." Anti-vaxxers.
It is now 7:21 pm on Saturday. I returned home yesterday afternoon from Lumberton, where my dad is. I went there to drive my step-mom to and from her eye exam in Southern Pines. I stayed longer to be able to get the Volvo inspected , which is a requirement before I can pay my property taxes and renew my registration. Everything went well. Caleb and I had a good time visiting. We will be going back in September to take my step-mom to her eye surgeries.
A few days ago, 13 military members were killed in Afghanistan. Many more Afghani civilians were killed as well.
Hurricane Ida approaches New Orleans and will have landfall around Sunday night.
Last night I looked for my adult friend from high school who introduced me to Young Life, Kristen Leatherman. She taught tennis as a tennis pro in Pinehurst. Mathew and I took her intro to tennis lessons one summer, and that's how we met. I found her on Facebook, and was so happy when she replied to my message. She also helped me find Karen Williams, who took me on a hiking and camping trip the same summer I went to Frontier Ranch in Colorado with Kristen and Karen.
I went looking for some classmates I had in high school. I was not successful in finding Glenn Polite nor Jessica Tortelli. Jessica Gonzalez does not answer my messages. This year should have been our 20 year high school reunion. I found my senior year photos. They were pretty photos of me.
Today I did not do much. It was expected to be 95 degrees outside and so I did not want to go anywhere. I took a shower and was just tired. It usually takes me a few days to get back into the swing of things after being gone. I ordered Domino's pizzas for our lunch and dinner. I officially begin my Virta diet on Tuesday, so I am getting it out of my system so to speak.
I was on my period week when I left the house for Lumberton, but was not menstruating, like usual. I think I am pre-menopausal. Anyway, I leaked in my sleep the first night I was there. I started menstruating in my sleep! I did not pack any clothes to change into, so I was stuck wearing what I had on. Thankfully, it was not a big leak. Also, thankfully, Dona Sharon had pads for me to use readily available. I had taken all my pads from their storage place and placed them in ziploc bags to distribute to the homeless women in Wilmington because it has been so long since my last menstruation. Now I know I have to have them for myself a little while longer.
It was so freaking hot outside! We had to drive the Volvo, which has no air conditioning, to get it inspected. We waited at least 20 minutes before getting out of the car and going inside to wait in the air conditioning. I was beginning to feel sick and had no water nor Gatorade with me. It was just too hot and I was sweating alot.
We managed to get the Ford Expedition registered and get a new license plate for it. The title finally arrived in the mail for us to be able to do that. It was about time. We waited more than a month , and the temporary tag was expired! Frustrating.
Bella came with us to Lumberton. I sang the first 2 Coldplay albums on the way to Lumberton. One of the songs made Caleb cry. The first song I listened to made me cry, but I have been sad and depressed lately. During the time dad and I went to get the Volvo inspected, Dona Sharon went and spent time with Caleb and Bella in our room. Bella is great at cuddling and reducing stress.
I really hate what is happening in Afghanistan. I don't like losing servicemembers. I hate the Taliban.
Kenneth, my step-dad, is back home and getting stronger everyday, according to my mom.
Rachel hasn't been responding to my texts because she is grieving the loss of her brother. I feel for her. I will be messed up if Mathew passes before me. I never really had a strong relationship with Sherri and Eric. It's not that I don't care, but we weren't raised in the same home.
Aunt Lisa called me today. We shared updates. My cousins moved into their dorm rooms yesterday. We are both going to start dieting soon.
I managed to have my psychiatrist appointment by phone while out in Southern Pines. Dad had his phone appointment immediately after mine.
I had my appointment with the Virta specialist about starting my new diet on Tuesday. I have to go grocery shopping and prepare how I am going to eat in advance to be successful.
My bed feels so good after being on that cheap mattress in that hotel. Like butter. I hope my dad and Dona Sharon are able to find a house to move into soon.
I don't know how tomorrow will go. I need to have Caleb finish his end of year testing at some point. I was already charged $90 in late fees. I need to return the testing materials.
I have chores I need to catch up on. It's nice to have the toilets and sink back in full working order.
My fitbit was causing skin irritation. I took it off to charge it and it left a red mark that looks like a rash that lasted for days.
I started vaping 6mg nicotine again.
I was in alot of pain while visiting my dad. My cramps were pretty bad. I bought Icy Hot back patches to wear and they helped alot. My lower back hurt so much that it hurt to lay on the mattress on my back. I was moving alot in my sleep, and woke up tired.
My feet hurt pretty badly today. I did not walk today, but I was in the shower and my feet hurt. I had to try to hurry to go lay down on my bed and raise my feet. I think my feet were swollen.
I bought some office chairs on sale today at Staples. I saved almost 50% on two chairs. One is to replace the office chair we got for free from a neighbor down the road. It was used and already in bad shape when got it, but I broke it further, so I can't wait to have a new chair. I sit in that position at the table alot because I eat there and take my medications there. I bought a chair for Caleb to sit in too, so he can have a chair of his own to sit in for home schooling. He should be able to sit still for awhile in the chair I bought him. It is an office chair that is also a gaming chair. It was way cheaper than the leather chair I originally wanted, so I chose it for both of us.
I want to change the color of my hair and have wanted to try this brand called Overtone for brown hair. I bought the red tone on sale today. I haven't decided how much of my hair I want to dye yet.
I have friends who are anti-Biden, and I try to ignore their political posts. I don't agree with them, and they are allowed to believe what they want. I don't have to fight them. I don't have to waste my time trying to educate them.
I got the email from Breathe4Change educators' yoga to start the program today. I am excited and worried. I am worried that I will drop out, or not be able to keep up. I really want this. I want to do Radiance Sutras meditation class next year. Having this as a basis will help me alot.
I made business cards to promote my blog today. I can't wait for them arrive! They are so pretty, with flowers in pink on them. I know I don't write much informational or educational material, but maybe I can still build a fan-base. I won't know if I don't try, right?
One reason for taking classes, is that it will make my blogs more interesting. I will have more to share as I learn more. I might be able to eventually make my own videos and have a subscription service or something like that. I have been looking for ways to work with having a job per se. I need an additional income, and who knows if I will be successful in getting child support ever. I want it to be more of a hobby that generates income, rather than a job. I wish I could make stuff to sell on etsy, but I don't think I can keep up with something like that. I have to be able to determine my schedule and not work on a demand basis.
So, basically how this Virta program works is that I will keep my carbs at 30g or below per day. I will eat only 4 oz of protein per meal, and add fat to be satiated. I will add salt to my meals to keep side effects of the diet changes at a minimum. I will also have a cup of boullion in the morning and the evening. I will take my glucose twice a day, read my blood pressure 3 times a week, and weigh in daily. I will use the ketone test strips to monitor my ketones daily. I will report any side effects as they occur. I have been given a list of recommended foods, foods that may be added to my diet after 30 days, and foods to avoid. The goal is to be able to discontinue diabetes medication. I should lose weight as a result of this diet as well. I start diet changes on Tuesday. I still have to go grocery shopping. I need to clear out my freezer of foods I will not eat, and replace with meats and frozen vegetables.
I am already making plans for the period I need to go back to Lumberton to drive Dona Sharon to her eye surgeries. I have to reschedule one of Caleb's appointments and one of my appointments on Monday. I want to be sure that where we will stay overnight will allow pets. I want to prepare a meal plan in advance so I am not messing up my diet. I want to cook for the family too, so we are not spending so much money eating out.
I want to go through the books I bought for Caleb's school year and decide how I want to start off. I know I want to be math and science strong. I also want to emphasize reading and writing skills.
September will be the last month of physical therapy, I think. I do not know if I want to pursue a membership to the pool or not. As winter approaches, I will likely not be as interested to get in the water, but I am not sure. The water in the pool is kept warm. I need to continue my physical therapy regardless of whether I have appointments. I want my body to be strong and able to move without pains. Hopefully replacing my chair will help the pain, because I know that it is a source of pain as I am not sitting properly when I sit in the broken chair. It is too low to the ground for me, and leans forward so that all my weight is pressed on my pubic symphysis, and that shit hurts like a bitch!
I finally bought some new underwear. I buy Speax for leaks, and they are not cheap. I had to replace my old ones though because they had holes in them from so much use. It's a nice thing to do for myself. It's just part of taking care of myself.
I noticed I have ring worm under both arms in my arm pits towards my back, where I cannot reach to wash. When I took a shower today, I used my back scrubber to scrub under my arms really good with the Bath & Body works Sage and Mint body wash my Aunt Lisa bought me. I love it. It smells so clean and refreshing. Hopefully the ring worm will go away soon. I have to try to keep dry too.
Caleb has athlete's foot on both feet, according to his pediatrician. She prescribed some cream for him to use, but I have not given it to him yet. He needs to shower first. She also prescribed more itch cream for his back, and that helps him sleep more peacefully. His back itches all the time.
Caleb has picked up my habit of burning candles, with sage, and incense. He is burning them now, and it smells good.
It is now 9:13 pm. I bought a crystal grid a couple weeks ago and it came with crystals. I have it set up near the candles, sage, and incense burner. I also have a Lady of Guadelupe candle that I burn. I have prayers and intentions that I set. I like to burn candles, sage, and incense when I am cleaning the house.
I wore my crystal necklaces while in Lumberton. 2 of them are for empath protection and 1 is for diabetes. I got 2 new necklaces recently. I have already forgotten what I bought them for, but ultimately I am trying to open my chakras and be more receptive to the Goddess vibes. I also rocked my moonstone ring.
I invested in some yoga posters that show all the poses. They should arrive soon. It's helpful to have a visual to help me remember, and also because I want to teach Caleb as I learn. It will help us both physically, mentally, and spiritually.
I also bought a cheap cork yoga mat, a block, and roll to start my practice.
I got the Bad Bitches Tarot from Ethony's store, and recently got the Divine Feminine Oracle in the mail. So I'm set as far that is concerned.
I want to get back into blogging daily. It helps me reflect on what's going on especially since I don't have any other way to express myself safely on a regular basis.
Dad took us out to Golden Corral the first night were there. I really wanted to go because I missed lunch and was sooo hungry. I wanted to be able eat ALL I could eat, for reals. And I did . I had a plate of salad. I had some fried okra, mashed potatoes, a fried chicken drumstick, fried popcorn shrimp, sautéed zucchini, lots of meatloaf, and some mandarin oranges and cantaloupe.
The next morning, I wanted to go somewhere to have a waffle. We went to IHOP! I had a Belgian waffle with a side of bacon. Yummy! Carbolicious.
We had lunch at Chik-fil-a, and Pizza Hut for dinner. The next morning we went to Cracker Barrel with Dona Sharon. I had the Double meat breakfast. So, I totally had carbs in preparation for not having them for at least the next 12 months.
I brought Dona Sharon one of my Zero Sugar Chobani Vanilla yogurts and she loved it! I also brought my extra blueberries that I would not be able to eat in time before my diet start date.
I have these scabs on my neck that I keep picking and it's like I can't leave them alone to heal! It's a bad habit. picking scabs.
You know, I won't be able to forgive Mathew, Nichole, Sherri, or Eric any time soon for deliberately leaving Caleb out of their lives and keeping him from his cousins. It's one thing to block me because I write what I think in this blog. It's another thing to block Caleb. We only have one family, and they are it. They have left us out of everything ever since last year. I suppose they are all Trump supporters. I know Mathew and Nichole are. Eric has no reason to block me at all. Sherri said I was being too negative on facebook and that's why she blocked me. Well, they may as well be dead now, because I can't reach any of them, and they totally do not care to talk to me. I may as well be dead. My own siblings don't have the balls to live with someone who is a as passionate and straight forward as I am and keep things civil without being childish.
My psychiatrist asked me if I had suicidal thoughts. I lied and said no. I think about suicide. I told her that my depression medication helps me. but it doesn't take away the depression. She confirmed that that is just how it is, unfortunately.
I just feel like if it weren't for Caleb, I might not have a reason to carry on. I am glad to have Bella around. She helps me sleep at night and calm down. I don't know. I have fighting strength to carry on, but sometimes I wonder. I don't think many people would be affected by my death. I have not made much of an impact on the world.
I am getting older, and I am not attractive like I was when I was younger and in shape. I don't date. I can't find someone worth my time and energy. I wish I had a life partner. I thought I would always have my siblings, but they left me to be alone in the world. I hate being the oldest sometimes. I have a feeling if I had an older sibling, they would not leave me to be alone. I have 3 older step-siblings though, and none of them give a rat's ass about me or Caleb. As a matter of fact, they all ran away when I was hospitalized and believed Dona Sharon when she told everyone I was schizophrenic, which I am not.
I really show my true colors by helping her and my dad. They did us wrong more than once. I am able to see that they both have mental health problems that keep them from behaving enough to live with. It is ok to visit occasionally but I can't live with them. My dad can be violent and rage. My step-mom doesn't calm him down, and goes along with what he says.
I am working on fixing my credit and lowering my debt. It is not easy, because it is not like I can just work more hours to make more money. I am working so that I can refinance the house. It needs work to pass the VA appraisal inspection to be able to go through with process of refinancing. I am trying to arrange for Stacy and her team to do all the work I need to have done, you know, keep the money in the family. I also need someone to help me remove the junk on the porch. I have talked about that so many times, and I still have not gone through the stuff on the porch to be able to get rid of the trash.
It is now 10:10 pm here. My dad was supposed to call me back, but he never did. I bet he fell asleep. Caleb is watching a youtube video game video. Bella is around here somewhere, likely laying on the couch with Caleb.
I will likely go through the freezer tomorrow to clear it out of the old leftovers I saved and figure out what stuff I will be able to eat versus what is for Caleb from Tuesday on. Tomorrow is Sunday so we have to collect all the trash to put out the trash can for Monday's pickup.
Caleb is nice and settled, I suppose it's time for me to go to bed as well. Goodnight.
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