5 Year Journal Day 324

      Today's prompt is "What are you obsessed with right now?" The answer to that is Reiki. It is now 0326 on Tuesday. I cannot sleep and I don't really understand why not. I am just too warm and can't stay asleep. So I finally got up after getting up several times already. 

     Saturday I took Caleb to the ER for having suicidal thoughts. He was discharged after being assessed by the ER doctor as "low risk", considering that Caleb is already in intensive-in-home therapy and going to be placed in a residential facility within a couple of weeks. 

     Sunday I had my Reiki Level 1 class online live. It was from 1000-1630. I managed to make it through the entire thing. I did not think I could. I thought there would be too much going on in the house, and in my head to pay attention. In any case, I was attuned to Level 1, and will be receiving my certificate in the mail. I am able to perform both self-healing and Reiki to others in person. I felt so strongly about the results of the attunement that I registered for both Level 2 and the Master class before the class was halfway over. Level 2 teaches remote Reiki, and Master Level teaches how to attune others. I am very proud of myself. 

     For the next 21 days (from Sunday) I will be detoxing with Reiki. I am supposed to drink water and rest as needed, but ultimately to take good care of myself and whatever may arise emotionally or physically. I have started my self-care practice routines in the morning and the evening as prescribed by my Master teacher, Michal. 

     Yesterday was a pretty good day. I slept in and felt relaxed in my bed. I woke up and did not do my Reiki formal practice before getting out of bed, like I wanted. I instead left bed, and came to my chair and ate breakfast (leftover pizza) and took my medications. I gave Caleb his medications and then I reached for my Reiki manual and played some Reiki practice music that is timed specifically for doing Reiki. I eventually went to shower and found that my legs below my knees were purple! It scared me. I freaked out for a minute. I took a shower with a homemade epsom salt scrub to clear away the energies and toxins that the attunement brought up. After getting dressed, we decided to go out and see if the lady from Lowe's was there about the cabinet design and installation. She was not there, but we did come across some good deals on paint! I saved $445 on paint! That's alot of money! Then we went to buy a few things at Walmart, and I ended up replacing my dead plants. Everybody was getting hungry, so we stopped by Jersey Mike's on the way home. I had an appointment with Michal at 1615, and needed to be home for that, so I was in a hurry to get back. I did not want to worry about dinner, and none of us had eaten lunch. Seemed like the right thing to do to save time. 

     My appointment with Michal went great! It was about a program she does once a year for a select few women. I was being interviewed to see if I was the right fit for the program. It is a deep healing program designed to release trauma from the past. I knew I was a good fit before I applied for the program. It is expensive, but when I consider that it lasts 6 months, and the amount of support I am enlisting, it seems fair. Michal offered me multiple discounts and even an interest-free payment plan to be able to afford it. 

     I have a plan, or an outline of a plan. I want to start my own business. I want to have a Reiki business and work with Veterans. 

     Let's go back to what happened on Saturday though. So Christinia told Caleb he needed to pick up the DVDs from the floor and put them away where they belonged. He responded with "Ok". It was not a problem, at first. Then within one minute, he was reaching into a rage and yelling. That's what prompted an argument between him and the adults in the house. He came out of his room after a while, crying and told me he was "having bad thoughts". I asked him if he wanted to call his therapist. He did want to talk to his therapist, so I text Simone. She responded with the Crisis line. So, I called the Crisis line , and when Caleb got on the phone, he clammed up. He was not going to talk to someone he did not know. The lady who answered the Crisis line number then reached out to Hayley, the team lead, and Hayley called me. She referred us to the Emergency Room. I took Caleb to the closest Emergency Room to the house, Dosher Memorial Hospital. We were in and out quickly, thank God. Caleb did not want to go there. He did not want to leave the house, but we did what we thought we needed to do to be safe. 

     Saturday morning was without incident, and after coming home from the ER, Caleb was back to his normal self.

     Caleb just got up again, and is talking my head off. It is now 0404.

     Last night I applied for a refinance of my home loan, and Chapter 31 VocRehab through the VA. I don't know how either of those will turn out, but let's see.

     Today I get to clean the kitchen and prep some food for Christinia to make some good food. I am going to cook the bacon to make BLT sandwiched for lunch. I have to run to the grocery store and buy some slicing tomatoes, fresh bread, and jalepenos. The jalepenos are for stuffed jalepenos that Christinia makes. She is also making deviled eggs for me. It will be delish! 

     This afternoon I have a call with the loan officer from Veterans United. I also have an appointment with a roofing company. I still don't know if I got the free roof or not. I guess I will find out later today. Then Caleb has his in-home-intensive therapy. It's going to be a busy day, so I should probably go ahead and do my Reiki morning routine and get started since I will up for a while. 

5 Year Journal Day 323

      Today's prompt is "Waking up was ____." Waking up was a bitch. Caleb woke me up because he had a nightmare. Then he was asking for back scratches and hugs. I was not ready at earlier than 2 am. The next thing I know, I have Bella and Caleb sleeping with me on my bed in such a way that I cannot get comfortable again because there is no space to move. I got up from bed. It is now 3:31 am. I weighed myself on my digital scale from Virta and weighed in at 281.9 lbs. I have a hard time believing this scale. I just don't think I have lost that much weight since the holidays. I have been wearing my far-infrared ray back wrap, and my belly does look smaller. 

     Yesterday I woke up to my 0700 alarm. An electrician was supposed to be at the house between 0800-1000, so I had no choice but to get up and wait. I woke Christinia up like she requested. The electrician arrived around 0830 and ended up replacing some light switches and light bulbs for me in the hallway, the laundry room, and dining area. I have lights working now! 

     Christinia had a zoom appointment for Harlee around 1000-1100, so I got her when she woke up and kept her out in the living room until the call was over. 

     Caleb made biscuits. I ate half a piece of leftover lasagna for late breakfast. It was deliciously made by Christinia over Christmas break. We froze what we could not eat right away, so I thawed some out the day before yesterday. 

     Today is Friday and we are expecting freezing conditions with rain here. I don't know if the roads will be safe to travel until the storm passes. I needed to go out and run some errands, but that might have to wait. 

     I reviewed myHealthEvet account to make sure my medications were ordered. I also checked my messages, and I had one that I was not aware I had. I tried to schedule my appointment with my neurologist, and Ms. Miller. I was successful reaching the nurse in the women's clinic to schedule my appointment with Ms. Miller. I will have to wait to hear from the neurology office. I checked my most recent labs because I never heard anything more about them. Apparently Ms. Miller ran a drug screen on me without saying that she was doing that. I tested positive for cannabinoids. Well, I vape Delta-8 when I am in pain that I can do nothing more about. So... there's that. It's legal and I would have told her that had she asked me first. It really helps me relax and takes the pains away so I can rest and sleep.

     I did not do much else all day. It was gloomy and dark all day, and I did not sleep well the night before because I kept waking up. 

     The day before yesterday, Caleb and I went to Wilmington for my dental appointment. It was a cleaning appointment. Apparently I had alot of tartar under my gums, and the cleaning caused alot of bleeding and was painful. I did not have any cavities though, so that's good. I really enjoyed the dentla hygienist. Her Pandora playlist was on the sound system and she was playing some of my favorite songs from high school like Tool, Cold, and Godsmack. We really clicked, and it was nice to share my space-time with her. She was awesome!  

     After we left the appointment, we went to Harris Teeter to check out the sales on meats. Ribeyes were on sale, so I bought some for us. I also walked by the salad bar, and could not resist the fire roasted red peppers, the artichoke salad, and the pasta salads. I was so hungry, even though I had just eaten a whole package of sliced baby swiss cheese in the car before we went in the grocery store. It should be noted that alot of the meat shelving was empty when I went shopping. It was quite a shocker.

     Christinia needed me to stop at Walmart on the way home to pick up her medications, so we did. When I got there, none of the medications had been filled, but one waws almost ready for pickup. I was not happy to hear this, as I was already tired, the sun was setting and it was getting dark, and I wanted to be home. I was not going to wait there, like I normally would because of those factors, plus Jerry had text messaged me and asked if it was alright for Caleb to go to Youth Group at church. I wanted to get home so he could go and meet people his own age. 

     I could not understand why Walmart pharmacy would say the medications were ready for pickup, when they weren't ready at all. 

     I came home just before the sun set, and made it in time for Caleb to go to Youth Group with Jerry. Christinia was not happy about me not being able to pick up her meds. She decided to go out and pick them up. When she went there, only 2 out of 4 had been filled. It's frustrating as Hell! I was exhausted and clearly ate too much too quickly earlier in the day. I skipped dinner because of that.

     The dental hygienist suggested I buy a Sonicare toothbrush to brush my teeth with, so I looked it up. I ended up buying one from Amazon along with a waterpik. I bought enough toothbrush heads for everyone to get use out of it. I don't want anyone to go through what I went through. It was painful to the point of me holding my breath while the waterpik was being used to clear the tartar off beneath my gumline. 

     I don't remember if I wrote anything abou this, but Nigel got cleared of being Caleb's father. We already knew he was not the father, but now it had gone through the court to disprove he was the father. Next Jonathan will be tested, and after he is proved to not be the father, Jamie will be tested. It's a long drawn out process because I was legally still married to Nigel when I gave birth to Caleb, so the state of North Carolina assumes he is the father, which is just not true. Then, because Jonathan signed the birth certificate, he is assumed to be the father, which we have tested already, and also found to not be true. Jamie has never been tested, but we believe he is Caleb's father because of his grandmother having genetic relationship to Caleb and him being the only person my age who also served in the Army in Korea in her family. 

     I am still waiting to hear more about my VA disability rating. I went to the C&P exam not too long ago, so I would think it would not be much longer before I hear a result.

     I am still working on Christinia's claim too. There are some things we have to do to make the claim complete still. 

     Caleb seems to be handling life better these days. He is not getting angry as frequently, or flying off the handle as much. Therapy seems to be helping. We have not heard anything about his residential therapy application yet. 

     I finally got Caleb's homeschool library put together in one bookcase, instead of two. Now his books are orderly like any other library, and sorted by subject. 

     I have not looked into Caleb's room lately, but assume it has fallen back into a mess. That's normal for a teenage boy, as far as I know. 

     Caleb put the Christmas ornaments and lights in the shed for me, and we finally got the living room looking good again- without all the clutter.

     I received my light box the other day in the mail from the VA. It is to help with Seasonal Affective Disorder, or in my case depression caused by lack of sunlight during the winter months. I have not read the article my psychiatrist sent me about it yet, so I have not set it up yet either. I thought it would never get here! I mean, I requested help in the Fall and it is now almost Spring!

     Bella is doing well. She has these cute pajamas that I bought her to stay warm in during the colder months. She loves those things. 

     I am still waiting for a quote about the kitchen cabinets being replaced, and the kitchen floor being replaced. Those are the next projects I have in mind. I am steadily running out of project money, so I hope it does not cost more than I have currently. I still have other projects I have to do. 

     Christinia is doing well in her classes, and I am trying to help her get through Statistics. 

     I am trying to read my books these days, when I get bored and/or take a break from chores. I started reading The Little Book of Light Codes, by Laara.

     I am taking a Reiki Level 1 training online Live on Sunday. I wanted to drop the class, but after reaching out to the teacher thought better of it. I will try to get it done. I know once I learn the stuff I need to know, things will be better for not only me, but also others. As I continue my Reiki practices and become certified, I will be able to help others heal, as well as myself. It will be awesome if I can manage getting through the class. The problem is sitting in front of my computer from 1000-1630, and expecting it to be quiet the whole time. That is just not my current reality. Harlee is very loud alot. Caleb likes to watch tv, and I like to sit at the dining table in my gaming chair where I can hear and see what is going on in the living room, dining area, and kitchen.

     I made a 7.25lbs meatloaf the other day. It turned out fantastic! We have lots of leftovers, which I am happy about. I get to cleaning the kitchen, and it seems like everyday I have to clean the damn kitchen. I get tired and can't clean it everyday. Besides, cooking is work, and I can't cook everyday either. 

     I got almost all the laundry washed. I don't think anyone has any dirty clothes lying around anymore... maybe Caleb. LOL

     I am waiting for dad to fix my car that was driveable when I lent it to him, and is no longer. It needs a new battery so Ican drive it home. He is no longer using the Volvo, so there is no reason for him to keep it there, when we could be using it. I need to figure out what is draining the battery. There must be a light or something that staying on after the car is off. Christinia offered to buy it from me, but I don't know if I want to sell it. I had plans to give it to Caleb when he is old enough to drive. Besides she really wants a truck, and I think she would be better off with a vehicle that is from this century anyway. 

     I am working on getting organized. I was organized at one time, but I fall into depression and can't keep up with what is going on. I have so many documents and papers that I have to sort through and file in my filing cabinets. I did a good job the other day with doing just that. I got rid of a whole bag of old letters that I no longer need. I put things in my folders and binders so I can find them more easily. I even created folders for my dad and Christinia so I can keep up with the things I am trying to help them with. 

     It is now 0500, and I am running out of things to write. I have no idea how today will go. I don't know if I will be able to drive anywhere because of the freezing weather conditions. I might just take the day off. 

      

5 Year Journal Day 322

      Today's prompt is " What do you need to vent about?" Quite a few things, actually. First, I am making a decision, along with the help of mental health professionals to send Caleb to a behavioral health residential facility for therapy. He needs more than one appointment with a therapist a month. That is all that is available with his regular therapist at the time. He is currently in in-home-intensive care, and sees two therapists once each a week. It is helpful, but not enough. As much as I repeat myself, I cannot get through to Caleb the importance of team work and cleanliness. I do not know what else to do, so I am taking the suggestions of his mental health team to go up a level in care. He will be leaving at the end of the month, and I do not know how long it will take for him to cooperate and be able to come back home. 

     I was supposed to start weekly therapy with the VA Clinic last week, but I overslept and missed my VA video connect appointment online. Last week was my scheduled period week, and I was exhausted for most of it. The appointment was scheduled for 0830 on Thursday. SMDH. Sometimes I can get up when the alarm sounds at 0700, and sometimes I can't. Anyway, I am going to be ok. I am making the best choice for Caleb given the current options. 

     I don't want to talk to my dad about it, because he has a tendency to make things that are out of my control, my fault. This is not my fault. This is not Caleb's fault entirely. He has mental differences that he needs to learn how to manage. He needs to see what I am trying to show him. I am not here to make his life Hell. I am here to show him how to make his life easier in the long run. I don't want to add to the drama. I will keep my dad out of it for now, until I can figure out how to tell him that Caleb is going away. 

     My dad is known to fly off the handle in rage. I am not looking forward to sharing this news with him, but I do not want to end up lying to him about Caleb's whereabouts either. 

     It is now 0328 on Tuesday morning. Yesterday was a good productive day for me. I woke up around 0500, and began watching videos from the Neuro-Linguistic Programming class I bought some time ago. I then decided that I needed to find all the materials that I have purchased in the past few years and review them. I make purchases to learn things... classes and/or certificate programs, but then get lost in everyday activities and never return to actually take the classes. These are investments that I made while Caleb was in public school so that I would have other things to do that I actually want to do to make our futures better. 

     I would like to be able to spend time catching up on all the classes I purchased and see where I end up. Some of the classes are Cognitive Behavioral Therapy practitioner, Reiki, Real Estate investing, Life Coach certificate, Nutritionist certificate, and Holistic Pain Management. All of these I can use!

     I was wondering what I will do with my time when Caleb is gone, and now I know. I am going to learn the things I have put on hold for the last few years. 

     I was able to get most of the dishes washed yesterday, along with vacuuming the hallway of the baking soda I put down to trap odors. I got the laundry started, and I even began to clean up my bedroom! I organized my papers that I had in piles behind my chair at the dining table. I am moving in the right direction. 

     I have been listening to Magdalene Rose Temple meditations the past few nights. They are very helpful to me and making me feel better in general. I have a certificate showing that I am a certified Magdalene Rose Priestess! I would also like to be a Reiki Master. I love the thought of healing people from pain, especially myself. 

     I have not been doing well with the Virta plan lately. As a matter of fact, last night, I did not want to cook dinner because I spent so much time catching up to washing the dishes. I, instead, went and picked up Chinese food. 

     I started drinking water with fresh lemon in it everyday. It helps to reduce my cravings for Diet Mountain Dew, and is healthy too. Christinia is drinking lemon water with me, so we keep eachother on track.

     I walked on the incline trainer the other day. I walked for one hour to bring my glucose down, very slowly so as not to hurt myself in the process, or have a fibromyalgia flare up from pushing myself too hard. It worked! My goal is walk a little bit everyday. I have to slowly make changes to how I run my days to fit it in my schedule. Unfortunately, everyday is different , and I cannot always predict how I will feel. If I am already in pain, I will not likely want to be in even more pain. 

     I have been trying to fix the house lately. I paid a restoration company to remove the mold in the house. I had alot of black mold on the bathroom ceiling because the bathroom fan broke shortly after I moved in and I never could change it. I bought a new fan, but had no experience on how to remove the old fan and install the new one. The whole ceiling had to be removed and replaced. The new fan was installed, and the central air conditioning ducts were sanitized.

     The next project is the kitchen. The cabinets need to be replaced because some of them had to be torn out due to mold from a leak under the sink. The floor has to ripped up because Dona Sharon destroyed the kitchen floor by scraping the linoleum with the bottom of her chairs, instead of lifting them up when she moved them. I am in the process of getting quotes for that work. 

     I just put in a work order to fix the electrical malfunction in the hallway that prevents the light from working, along with the light in the laundry room, and the light in the dining area. 

     I have a long list of things that need to repaired or replaced in order to pass the VA appraiser's inspection. I want to get the house refinanced so I can pay off my debts and clear my credit report, making one payment a month at a much lower interest rate, instead of what I am currently doing. 

     I got up this morning and began to pay the bills. I paid most of them. I have to pay the water bill in person, and the others are automatically paid. 

     Caleb just woke up. It is now 0402. I make fun that he has a "mom alarm" that makes him wake up when I am awake. He is devouring his leftover Chinese food. I love this kid and I will be sad when he leaves. He does not want to go, but I let him know that it is not a punishment. It is for his own good. He is not happy when he is angry all the time. He is not happy to have his electronics taken away. He is not happy to have yelling in the house, and at him. He is just not happy. He has been happier since starting in-home intensive care. I asked his psychiatrist to increase his mood-stabilizing medications, and she did. He can stay stable more or less as long as he is on his medications. He flies off the handle out of nowhere though. One minute he is ok, and the next minute he is yelling at us. His therapists try to give him tools to change his behavior and regulate his emotions, but I don't think he remembers half of what they tell him. 

     Last week, I was having bad back pain and went to lay down for awhile. He left the house without asking or telling anybody where he was going. He left the front door open. When Mollie, one of his therapists arrived, Bella opened the door more for her. I was not happy about the situation. Then, when I went to look for him, he was riding his bike alongside a woman walking a dog on our street. I did not recognize the woman. Caleb said that was his friend Chase's mom. Well, where was Chase? He knew that Chase was not at his house when he went to Chase's house. Strange? He said he wanted to show Chase's mom his artwork, even though he knew that Chase was not home. I don't like the sound of it. I grounded him for one week. He lost his privelege to go anywhere without an adult. 

     He was not home when his in-home intensive care appointment was supposed to start. Mollie helped get through the situation though. Yeah, I just a bit angry. He knows the rules. No leaving the house without permission. No leaving the house while I am in bed. No going out without his phone. What if I couldn't find him? He was not at the neighbor's, Jerry's, where I can usually find him. 

     Let's see, so today I have to keep the laundry going, wash the rest of the dishes, and shampoo the hallway carpet. I want to work on my NLP course online, and meditate before bed. I want to walk a little on the incline trainer. Bella is going to need a bath soon. I need to go to Walmart to buy some binders for my printouts for my classes and e-books. It might not sound like alot, but believe it will take all day to do these things. I have some important phone calls to make too. 

     

          

     

 

5 Year Journal Day 321

      Today's prompt is "What song could be your self-portrait?" I would have to give that some thought. 

     It is now 5:51 am here on Tuesday. Yesterday was a busy day. I was up at 2 am and only went to lay down at 6 am. I stayed up working on my computer because I could not sleep. I needed to do my spreadsheet that contains my credit card balance information on it. I update it frequently so I know where I stand even when I am out in public. It is especially for emergency situations when I might need money right away to fix the car or something. I also worked on my Aid and Attendance VA form, along with the form for getting the money I invested in the Montgomery GI Bill add-on back. I was trying to prepare to go to my Wilmington VA appointment and get those forms filled out and signed. I want to say there was something else I did while I was up, but now I don't remember. 

     I laid down around 6, but had to get up at 7 to start the day. I was not ready to get up when my alarm went off. I got up though, and Caleb woke up shortly after I did. I took my medications, and gave Caleb his medications. I woke Christinia up at 7:30 because I did not hear her nor Harlee. We had to leave to go to Wilmington at 8 to be there at 9. Harlee was scheduled to be picked up by her dad for a few days. 

     The original plan was to stay in Wilmington, but because Christinia was starting her first day of classes, I did not want to keep her busy doing absolutely nothing productive towards her classes the whole day. I had alot of appointments that I had to go to during the afternoon, so Caleb and I brought Christinia back home and chilled out for a short while before going back to Wilmington. My first appointment was to pick up my new diabetic shoes. That was easy. In and out, and the ladies at the front desk were nice. The next thing we did was stop at Hardee's for lunch. I wanted to get something to eat before going to my other appointments, knowing that I would not eat again until dinner at home. 

     Then  we went to have my Virta labs done. I knew that would hopefully not take long, as it should have been just a blood draw. It took 3 different needle sticks to finally get a good vein and begin to take the blood out. 

     My next appointment was at the VA clinic with my primary care at the women's clinic. I got there early and Caleb and I just sat in the Mazda for a while. I had to go inside to use the restroom, and told Caleb to wait for me in the car. I would just go to my appointment after I used the bathroom. It was easily 44 degrees outside and I was wearing shorts and a spaghetti string tank top with compression socks and diabetic shoes. My hair was in a messy bun, and I was not in the best of moods because of an incident that occurred earlier. 

     Once in my appointment, my vitals were taken. I weighed 317.4 lbs. That means that all the weight I lost during the 3 good months of Virta prior to Thanksgiving was gained back. I really gave up during December. I ate Italian cookies, and when the holidays came around, I totally had my share of ham, turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce, and corn. I had birthday cakes all the birthdays. Harlee's was first in succession, then Christinia's, and then Caleb's . 

     I went to see Ms. Miller on a mission, but I did not fill it. I wanted to get my forms signed, but I did not even bring them up. I talked about the things I wrote down on my list that I wanted to talk about, but did not get the support I needed. I have trouble sleeping at night through the whole night, but my doctor did not give me medication to keep me asleep. I talked about my lack of sexual desire, and she not prescribe medication for that either. Instead of confirming that I am going through menopause, she denied it. Apparently my ovaries are working fine. I am just not having a period anymore, and apparently that is because I am overweight. I have not been without a period prior, so why now? I am having hot flashes, and they were minimized to being overweight and flushed. Everything I brought up was denied or minimized. According to Ms. Miller, I need to exercise and lose weight and that will solve all my problems. That's great, but in the meantime, I am not supposed to have a period, want sex, or sleep through the night?

     I cried in Ms. Miller's office. I could not take the shaming. I was having too much of a day, and did not want to sit there and argue with a medical professional who is supposed to care. According to her, it sounds like I do not want to change. That's right, I got my A1c down to 6.6 without her help at all, but I am the one who does not want to change. 

     So, let's talk about why I was having such a horrible day. When we came home from Wilmington the first time, I asked for Caleb's phone. Christinia quickly said, "Let's check it!" loudly, so I did. I found porn on Caleb's phone. Now I had just reset the phone and both of us told him not to go doing things like that again. I was sorely disappointed in him. I was angry and upset. Not only that, but he lied to our faces about who put the porn on his phone, as he kept denying that it was him. Ridiculous. The files had timestamps on them so we could see right there when he last opened them. Some of them were from a few days ago. One was from August. Upon looking further into it, Christinia found out how he was getting the porn without apps, without search engines, and without wiFi access. He subscribed to some email lists. Not only that, but he was contacting perfect strangers on a sex site. Caleb just turned 13. Looking at porn in not abnormal for his age. What bothers me is the lying about and being deceitful. My Aunt Lisa told me to watch out for this sort of thing when she bought Caleb the phone. 

     Caleb is currently in intensive-in-home therapy and awaiting a bed at a residential treatment facility. I do not know what else to do, I really don't. I can't possibly watch Caleb every second of the day to prevent him from getting into trouble. I pray that the professionals can figure him out and help him with his issues. 

     After my appointment with Ms. Miller, I was sent to the VA lab and to mental health to schedule some therapy appointments. Ms. Miller wanted to check my hormone levels, and also whether I have HepC or HIV (because those are more likely to cause hot flashes than menopause?). 

     I saw my veteran friend, Brenda at the VA Clinic, on my way to the lab. She was so happy to see me, it was impossible not to be happy to see her too. We hugged and and went on our ways. 

     I went to VA lab and had more blood drawn. I could not wait to get back home and just crash in my bed. Meanwhile, the guys from Pride Restoration were working on the bathroom at home. When I got home, the bathroom was complete with new bathroom fan installed and ceiling painted. 

     I went and gave Christinia a summary of events, as is usual for me at the end of the day. I was overstuffed from eating a double cheeseburger from Hardee's for lunch and did not want dinner, so I just took my night time medications without food. I went to bed early, but as is usual,  woke up shortly later to have to use the bathroom. When I went to update Christinia on things I had forgotten to tell her, we discussed the possibility that there might be a spirit in the house. It creeps us both out. We will be saging the whole house today when everyone is up.

     Caleb woke up and told me that there were three marks on legs that hurt this morning. He also thinks there is an entity here. He does not know where the marks came from, as he was sleeping. 

     Today I got up early because my e-cigarette was malfunctioning and I wanted to vape. I decided to stay up for awhile, and just began writing my blog. 

     There are no appointments today. I do not know what I will do today, but the hallway carpet needs to be cleaned again because Bella had an accident. She will not go outside in the rain. I finally cleared my gut this this morning and am feeling better since. I weighed in after I used the toilet, and weighed 5 lbs less than yesterday's weight! 

     Christinia will be doing schoolwork today, and Caleb needs to get some schoolwork done too. I would like to read a little bit, but do not know if I can. I have been unsuccessful with every attempt to read as I get tired really quickly. I do want to walk on the incline trainer for a little while, if I do nothing else today. I want to move the boxes of Christmas stuff to the shed too. I have to figure out dinner too. It should be a substantially easier day today.