Today's prompt is " Write down a recent transition." Christinia and Harlee moved out.
Yesterday I took not 1, but 6 different psychological tests that help screen for Autism. I confirmed that I have Autism with each test. I am now trying to deal with what this really means to me. It means that at 39, I have spent my entire life without a diagnosis and without the help that kids these days get. I was treated badly by people who didn't know because I didn't know. It hurts...alot. I missed out on alot of opportunities and received alot of abuse. My first thought was " I wonder how my dad would feel if I told him he hit an Autistic little girl, who was his daughter, with a leather belt multiple times?"
I've been crying alot. I've reached out to family and friends to help lift myself up. I have some memories, and the ones that stand out are traumatic.
Christinia and Harlee moved out Tuesday. That was a hard day, full of anxiety from waiting for her ride to arrive. I helped her pack. Caleb helped her move her things out. The house felt empty when they left. It was quiet.
Today I had psycho-therapy and it helped me deal with my emotions. I let my therapist know the results of all the tests I took, and she did not argue about the tests or the results. I got the help I needed to get through today. It was full of tears.
I needed a break shortly after that appointment. I took a long nap, and would have slept longer had Caleb not woken me up to give him his medications.
I bought some new clothes today, on sale of course, and a smaller size! I am losing weight and my clothes are fitting differently, so I am planning for the near future.
Tomorrow Bubba goes to the vet for his monthly weigh-in and prescription renewal.
The week is nearly over, and I can't wait for it to be over. I'm exhausted. I don't feel like doing anything right now. I am getting over Covid-19 ok. I only have alot of mucus and phlegm left, which I am still taking the cold and flu medication for. There is just so much work to be done. The dishwasher is broken and needs parts, as we found out yesterday. I have alot of dishes to handwash now. I don't feel like cooking anything, but I have to make food for us to eat. I'm definitely depressed right now. Too much happening in a matter of days. I need rest. I am overwhelmed by the sheer amount of work I have ahead of me.
My student loan was certified by the financial aid office at Capella, so that is set in place. I got my Post 9/11 GI bill certificate of eligibility in the email and emailed that directly to my admissions officer. I only found out yesterday that there is another form to fill out, so I did that. I am waiting for the financial aid office and the VA to certify my Post 9/11 GI bill now. I am still hunting down scholarships that I can apply to. I am not having as much luck as I was in the beginning. It has become harder to sit here at the computer and look through the long lists of scholarships, where so many I have already applied to, and others I can't apply to.
Yesterday a zulily box of books arrived. Glad Christinia wasn't here to see that. Of course I bought the books weeks ago, but she hates that I buy books when I have so many. She's like "There's no room Jenn!" I feel differently. I will always make room for more books. Besides, I had to update my homeschool plans according to Caleb's end-of-year test, which showed low test scores.
Today I got my copies of my blog2print books, 3 in total. So I have all but the last few days of blogs in printed books now.
I just got off the phone with mom. I love talking to her, and she made my day.
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