My friend, whose name is Christinia, but I knew her as Ricker, was a Motor Pool supply something or other. I forget the actual term for her job. Anyway, she ordered supplies for our war-time transportation... the Humvees, and LMTV's.
I don't remember how we became friends, but we were in the same unit, the same platoon. I became pregnant while serving in Korea. So did she. We carried our first-borns sons together. She gave birth to her son one week prior to me giving birth. I don't remember much, but this much I do remember. She came to my rescue on New Year's Eve 2008. I had put myself in the bathtub, trying to ease the pain of what I thought was false labor. My son, Caleb, was not due for another 2 weeks. What ended up being contractions, were getting stronger and closer together, and I could no longer take the pain. I called her at some odd hour when it was still dark outside, and she came over. She called an ambulance for me and went with me to the hospital. She watched as I received my epidural, which I was almost too late to get. Apparently I was actually in labor and didn't even realize it. She held my hand as I pushed and eventually delivered my son. I can not thank her enough for being there for me, and I wanted to find a way to repay her kindness and care. I had no family in Korea. I lived alone in an apartment off-post. I was scared. My baby's father was not in the picture at all. I was going through my first birth experience all alone in a foreign country on a holiday, with a snow storm outside.
I lost track of her after, but I eventually found her on Facebook. We began to catch up and tried to maintain communication, so when she finally told me about what she was going through, I offered to help. After confirming that she was really going to leave, I bought both her and her daughter plane tickets to fly from Iowa to North Carolina. She was going to live with us for awhile. Mind you, my dad and his partner were already living here, and I don't have a large house by any means. I went out of my way to buy a shed, and and remove my stuff from the third bedroom, which I was using for storage. I also bought a bed to put in the bedroom so that she would not have to sleep on the floor for very long. I was doing my best to make it a comfortable place to be, in a very uncomfortable situation. I wanted to offer her a peaceful, family-oriented, loving environment.
The second day she was here, in my house, my dad lost his temper and choked Caleb. So much for peace! She was here throughout the whole ordeal with my dad and his partner. She has more than one mental illness, and the stress was too much. She was falling apart. She had remained strong through a lot of it, but couldn't take it anymore. I brought her to the emergency room in the hopes of securing psychiatric medication to help her relieve the anxiety and mental disturbances. We were successful, but the help was only a temporary fix. She needed more regular care.
We did everything together, and we fell in what I thought was love. I do not consider myself bi-sexual or lesbian. I just wanted to protect and care for her to the best of my ability. The same for her daughter, who she suspected to have Autism.
Caleb started acting out, and did not like Christinia. She complained about him everyday. Eventually, she moved out. I didn't and I don't understand her. She has so much mental and emotional baggage that she is not willing to work through. Meanwhile, I have been working on my problems for years. The first step is admitting you have a problem. She could do that all day. The second step is getting help. She didn't accept help. Maybe she wasn't ready. I don't know.
When she left, we were sad, but within days she was calling me names and being extremely hateful and irrational. Maybe I dodged a bullet there. She had agreed to paying me back for the plane tickets, but after she left, she was no longer willing to make payments towards it. She blamed me for her difficulties in living in my house, and her inability to have a meaningful relationship with my son. She was hateful towards him and every little thing he did "triggered" her. It was exhausting. I could finally breathe after she left. Caleb celebrated when he came from school that day!
All I can say is it was a crazy time in my life, and I'm glad it's over. I still wonder about them. I wonder how they are faring through all this COVID-19 stuff. I wonder if they are homeless. I was trying to set her up with her own income by filling out applications for VA disability and Social Security Disability for her. I was trying to get her records in order. I took her to Social Services to apply for Medicaid, Food Stamps, and childcare funding. She was able to establish child support for her daughter. I was trying to get her prepared to go back to college and complete a degree using the GI Bill. I knew the way to do things, because I had done them all by damned self. I didn't have any help. I thought she would be grateful. I put a lot of work into setting her up for success. I had high hopes for her. She would be able to support herself by her own means. She could be independent of any man. Her mental illnesses got the best of her.
Lessons learned: I can not make someone evolve, I can not afford to spend time/money/energy with negative people, I need my own space AWAY from CRAZY.
No comments:
Post a Comment