Early morning

     It has been awhile since I have been awake at this time. It is now 0232. I just recorded one of Larisa Gosla's Success modules. I do not know how many I have left. I know I want all the videos recorded for my personal library before she decides to take them down.

    Yesterday was Thursday. I did not do any work until it was time to go to the pool for therapy. I wanted to have energy to do the whole routine appointment. I had lots of work I did not feel like doing, so I didn't. It was another gray day outside which automatically makes it harder for me to work to begin with. It was gray outside all day on Wednesday too. I had to miss my appointment with Larisa Gosla because I was so tired that I could not stay awake. My body was hurting everywhere due to fibromyalgia during the ugly weather. I thought I would lose my appointment, but Larisa is allowing me to reschedule.  

    I have been working on deep cleaning the kitchen this week. I caught up on washing the dishes, cleaned the stovetop including drip pans, and washed the walls behind the cooking area. I cleaned part of the countertop and threw away some things that I don't need and can't be given away. I was able to clean out both sinks. I still need to detail around the faucets and behind the sinks, as well as the countertop to the right of the sinks. I need to clean out the fridge and clean off the island. I want to detail the cabinets and sweep and mop the floor. I worked on the pantry last week, so that is ok. I cleaned off the top of the cart and reorganized my spices and herbs. I want to clean out the microwave. It's the change of seasons, and Fall cleaning is calling me.

    After I complete the kitchen, the living room will be next. Caleb will be supervised to clean up his disaster he created. I can't afford energetically to clean up after him. He is able-bodied, and I am not. 

    Once I have the living room cleaned up, I want to help Nana clean up her room. She bought some new furniture for her room, but we have not gotten together to put it to use yet. She is much like me in my work area. I have everything I need surrounding me closeby so I can reach it without having to ask Caleb for help for every little thing. It's a lot of clutter, but it helps me be more independent. 

    Caleb and I are washing laundry at a slow pace. I wish I could have another dryer fit in the laundry room. It takes so long for laundry to dry. I had Caleb try to to clean the dryer vent outside the house, but he said there is a screeen that he can't disconnect to put the dryer vent tool inside.

    I am 23 consecutive days into nutritional ketosis! I am only 7 days away from it being an entire month! My blood sugar is running above 200, so I had to add another medication to control my diabetes. I decided with Dr. Kent, pharm-D, to go with jardience. It should be here later today.

    Caleb was approved for P-EBT. I am waiting for the card to arrive so I can use it to buy groceries.

    Yesterday Caleb and I went to the pool together. I completed my whole appointment and was able to walk out of the pool without pain, without using kratom drink. I came home to drop Caleb off, and went out to Food Lion to buy groceries for dinner. I came home, and took a break, then began cooking chicken tacos for dinner. It was delicious! It's my new favorite meal!

    Today I have to go to Wilmington to see Dr. Oster, neurologist. I have to see him once a year face to face because he prescribes me medication. I want to ask him about "empty sella" as seen on my mRI of my brain. I want to ask him about new fibromyalgia medications for pain.

    I might try to meet someone who lives in Leland on my way back home. It depends on how long I take at the VA today. I met this guy on Facebook dating. I am not going alone. Caleb will be with me.

    Thank God it's Friday!

    I want to get this house cleaned up so I can relax. The work is never-ending. I don't have to make dinner tonight because I made enough for leftovers. 

    I was listening to a playlist made up of "purchased" tracks on iTunes when I was cleaning the other day. I heard some songs later that I haven't heard in what seems like forever. A few songs I sang to. At least one song, I wailed I was singing so loudly. It felt good to move that stagnant energy. I use to listen to music with everything I did. I don't anymore. I use to love to sing in the car. I don't sing in the car anymore. I miss my dad.

    I cried when I saw the 82nd Airborne chorus on "America's Got Talent." I just think that could have been me too had I made it to Airborne school. I see those soldiers and I think of my dad, my brother, and my half-brother, all of whom are Airborne. I miss being a soldier because I was always surrounded by other soldiers. I told Nana I might need to make a trip to Ft. Bragg soon just because I miss being surrounded by soldiers. Even though I was never stationed there when I served in the Army, Ft. Bragg will always be home. It's where I grew up.

     I've got to take as shower today. I can't take a shower everyday, like most people do because it wears me out. I feel so tired and can't get things done after I take a shower. I typically use tea tree oil body wipes to stay refreshed between showers. The tea tree oil wipes help me combat yeast infections on my sweaty areas. 

    I might wear a new dress today and might wear my new shoes too. We shall see. It's too early to tell.

    I'm trying to grow my hair out. It looks like it is growing, but it is growing so slowly. I want to have long hair.

    I keep breaking my nails. One broke off and took some skin away too, leaving a bloody mess. I don't wear my nails long because I like to feel the buttons as I type.

    Caleb's birthday is New Year's Eve. He will be 15 years old this year! He has grown so quickly. I feel like I can't keep up. A video came up in my memories on Facebook when he was about 5 years old. he was so little, and so cute. I miss those days.

    Believe it or not, I woke up to use the bathroom, but I felt so good that I wanted to stay awake. I wanted to take advantage of the quiet time uninterrupted. 

    I am trying to get Bella to let me cut her nails. I have to do a few toes at a time per day and give treats. She doesn't like having her nails trimmed. 

    I am worried about how I am going to be able to pay my bills. Everything is so expensive, and I haven't made any sales. I have not worked on my VA claim, but I talked to Nana about getting it filed yesterday. 

    We were denied regular foodstamps due to making too much money.

     I am still waiting for Arkansas to get my child support that is due to me.

    This weekend will give me a chance to clean up like I want. It's the only time I don't have to go any appointments. I am hoping to see the sun out today. I need to retrieve my light box for my Seasonal Affective Disorder. The change of seasons is already affecting me. I get really slow when the darkness prevails. I start getting depressed and sleeping more. 

    I am hoping that the worst of hurricane season is over already. Caleb wanted to go treat-or-treating but I can't manage the walk with him. I also can't afford the costume he wants.

    I am saying more prayers and affirmations daily than I have been. I had to use delta-8 vape to get to sleep last night. I couldn't relax because of my pains. 

    Looks like my Cortisol is out of range on the high end. I am waiting to be referred to the endocrinologist at the VA. I am not sure if they received my lab results yet. I need to check up on that.

    I have been taking each moment as it comes. I have been so stressed out about my bill situation and have nowhere to turn. I finally just gave up. Worrying is not helping me. It will be what it will be. If I can pay the bills, great. If I can't pay the bills, okay, I won't. What choice do I have?

    I was thinking that one day my blogs will be studied for their use in Autism studies and/or veteran studies. One day, my words will carry weight. I just have to keep on writing. 

    I am wondering what my blood glucose would be like if I stopped eating this keto bread in the morning. I only eat one slice before I take all my medications and supplements. I wonder if that is what is making my blood glucose high. 

    I am getting tired. It is now 0333. 

    I spent a little time on the CNN app last night to catch up in the news. I just read the headlines. I don't feel any better about our future as a country. I typically stay away from the news because only bad things are reported and it impacts me negatively.

    I am trying to wrap my classes in Vocal Resonance Method training so I can get my certification and begin teaching lessons. I still want to create videos for my app that I am creating. There is just so much to do, and I feel like so little time to get it done. When I work at my own pace, it is really slow. I can only do so much in a day or I will have a fibromyalgia flare-up.

    I still smell the chicken taco meat seasoning from last night. It smells good.

    I haven't unpacked my guitar yet. I still want to learn, but it has to take a back seat to the things I have to do around the house. I haven't been practicing my frame drum playing. I am supposed to put 15 minutes a week into it. I chose to do it on Sunday, but now I have Carla and Tyrone coming on Sunday mornings so I get tired.

    I wish I could just get all this housework done! Ugh! I can't move fast enough. Once I get it cleaned, another area has to be cleaned. It's frustrating as Hell!

    I feel like I could fall asleep now.

    Thank you for reading, and have a blessed day!

    

A day of rest

     It is Sunday and now 0631. Yesterday was a busy day. Caleb and I slept in, but then when I did wake up, I took my meds and supplements. We went to Walmart to restock on drinks. Afterwards, I went to put gas in the Mazda. Then we went to CVS to get Caleb's medication refill. We came home after that. I started cleaning up in the kitchen and the living room. I unpacked the reusable grocery bags to collect them and fold them into one bag. I had a late lunch of 3 hard boiled eggs. I got to a point when I needed to rest. I took a short nap and got back up and handwashed some dishes and loaded the dishwasher. I ran the dishwasher and had Caleb take the kitchen trash out. I had Caleb check on the laundry. When Caleb took the trash to the bin outside, he found a possum in one of the bins. Later he found out it was family of possums in there. He put on some gloves and relocated them to the woods. They were probably in there for shelter and food during the tropical storm Ophelia Friday night. We had leftovers for dinner so I didn't have to cook. I was exhausted when I went to bed. 

    Today Carla is coming over this morning. The living room and kitchen are still a mess according to my standards. She is going to talk to me about the resources available for Caleb since he has Autism.

    I still have alot of laundry to do. Today is Sunday so it is the day we get all of the trash out of the house. I want to grill burgers today for dinner. 

    Not much of a restful weekend, but it is what it is. That's what happens when there are so many appointments during the week. I am tired when I come home, and can't keep up with the messes Caleb makes. 

    Caleb asked me an important question yesterday, "What do you believe?" I told him that I was too tired to answer yesterday, but would answer him today. 

    I believe in Source energy. Others call it "God." I believe the Bible. I believe in science and am especially interested in quantum physics. I believe in prayer. I believe in Reiki. I believe in Yeshua, or "Jesus." I have faith in Mother Mary, Mary Magdalene, and Sarah. I believe in the light and the darkness. I know evil. I have experienced demons. I have faith in angels. I believe in ascension, chakras, energy healing, and meditation. I have used tarot cards. I use crystals and crystal grids. I believe in feminine and masculine divinity. I believe we are all reflections of Source energy in human form. I believe in blessings. I have faith in my ancestors and spirit guides. I know I have a guardian angel. I use sage burning. I use candles. I use essential oils. I use tinctures. I use hape'. I use delta 8 and cbd. I use supplements.  All of them are plant medicine. I believe our bodies are sacred. I don't know much about other religions, but I am open to them. I believe all religions hold sacred nuggets meant to help humankind. I believe in remote viewing. I believe in psychic visions. I believe in Holy people. 

    That's alot that I am going to have to share with Caleb. I hope I can help him understand. 

    I'm already tired and it's only 0711. It looks like the sun is rising today. It should be a good day to grill out. It was gray and rainy all day yesterday. 

    As much as I want to get this house completely cleaned up, I have to be careful that I don't overdo it today. I still need to walk tomorrow morning. 

    I feel like I could spend all day in bed. I have to take a shower though. I have taken my meds and supplements yet this morning. Maybe I should wake Caleb up so he can give me some energy, LOL.

    I better get going.

    Thank you for reading, and have a blessed day!

Thursday, Almost Friday

     It is now 0726 and I have been awake for about an hour. This week has been interesting to say the least. Yesterday was Wednesday. I had my appointment in Wilmington with Wilmington Orthotics and Prosthetics about my diabetic shoes. I have been going to them for years. They are so friendly there, it's such a blessing. After that appointment, Caleb and I went to Harris Teeter on the way home. I bought some really good looking asparagus and green beans, along with some meats. I wanted to try the different fish they had available, so I bought a few to cook at home. It was exciting for me.

    I have been in nutritional ketosis for 15 days now! I finally made it to the point where this is a reality. I made chicken tacos a few nights ago that were delicious! I just had a chicken taco salad, no shells, but that meant I got the salad I was wanting! I baked the chicken breasts in the oven with alumnimum foil lined pan, and alumininum foil covering the pan. I just put the chicken taco seasoning in a 1 gallon ziploc bag and covered the whole chicken breast in seasoning. I added the chicken breast to the foil lined pan, and added about half a cup of water before covering the pan. I think I cooked it at maybe 375 degrees or 400 degrees. I don't remember. It was low to maintain the tenderness of the chicken breasts. Turned out delicious! 

    Nana and I talked about our diets, and that's what made me want to buy fish. I don't know anything about fish, but here we go! We are going to have fish for dinner once a week, for as long as I can manage it. I love the chicken so much, I want that once a week too. We can't forget my beloved hamburgers either! Planning helps me have foods I need in the house that I am allowed to eat. I am doing so good, that I don't want to mess it up. It took me all year long to get to this point. I have been struggling with my diet even though I was successful last year to the tune of losing 50lbs. The holidays came around and making healthy choices got harder and harder with all the tasty good foods foods around that are not on my diet. My dad passed away in December and that was like the end of me trying to "be good." 

    I have been struggling all year long. My emotional eating did not help me. My inability to cook for myself as I need to on this diet, did not help me either. I was exhausted from trying to manage how I was going to bury my dad. I didn't exactly have alot of support. I had to do a gofundme or whatever it is called just to raise money and I didn't even raise enough money for his casket! 

    Mathew did not help at all. Not financially , and not any other ways that would have been helpful. I was alone. Nana was distraught in her grief. I turned to a grief therapy group at the VA to help me get through things.

    I still miss my dad, but I know he wants better for me. I know he wants me to be healthy too. 

    Anyway, after Harris Teeter, we came home. I started cooking a Boston pork butt in the slow cooker for Caleb's dinner. I was planning on having the leftover chicken taco meat in a salad. I bought salmon steaks that had to be cooked right away (and were half-off) for Nana's dinner. 

    Caleb had his psychiatrist and therapy appointments in the afternoon. I was rushing to put the groceries away to go back out into the world. The office location changed since we last went to them. I had to figure out how to get there. Thank God for GPS! His appointments went well, and we will be getting help through them.

    Did I tell you about the whole conversation with NC TEACCH? Yeah well, here it goes. I finally got in contact with Bonnie Ravo. Apparently Caleb can't use their services directly, even though he is Autistic, and even though they specialize in Autism. Why not? Because Caleb has other things going on with his mental health that they are not qualified to handle directly. Sooo.... they have to work through his therapist by giving her information. I was not happy! We waited 15 months on a waiting list to be told that it was practically for nothing!

    So there is another service who doesn't care enough.

    We came home after those appointments, and I was exhausted. I went to rest until the pork butt was done. I then made the salmon steaks and some asparagus. Everybody got fed something they like! It wasn't as difficult as I thought it might be. Thank God for the slow cooker!

    So, yesterday and the day before I was being messaged by someone who claims to be named, "Bull Houston Herrison," but is "Houston harrison" on Facebook. We met through facebook dating. He claimed to be a Sgt Major in the Marines. I took everything with a grain of salt. I was curious and wanted to see where this would lead. He became demanding and controlling. I didn't like it. I witnessed my own gaslighting and manipulation by him. I called him out every single time too. He didn't like that at all. If you don't like being told the truth, don't bother talking to me. He was adamant about getting a photo of my debit card so he could "add me to his account." What kind of fool do you think I am?! I told him off, reported him, and blocked him. 

    I am trying to remember what else happened on Tuesday. I think I had to get up early to have the fasting labs. I successfully fasted and made it to my appointment early. It took just a few minutes and we were done! I was glad to come home and take my medications and supplements! I felt like it was just too much to deal with without them. 

    Tuesday afternoon Caleb had a dental appointment. We got bad news. He has 16 cavities since the last time he was seen! I can't get Caleb to make it a habit to brush his teeth. Personal hygiene is an issue all-around with him. I came home and cried because I felt responsible for his cavities, at least in part. I felt like such a failure as his mom. I am doing the best I can do everyday. It's more than one person can do, that's why I need a partner.

    While I was making dinner, Caleb and I had a loud discussion that made him cry. He said he felt like a failure too. It was heartbreaking. 

    Monday we did not have any appointments. Carla was supposed to come over for coffee in the morning, but she forgot she had an appointment, so we rescheduled for Sunday morning. She is going to go over all the resources she has used for her son who is in his early 20's and has Autism. She and her husband are so sweet! 

    No, but back to Bull Herrison. I felt like I was battling demons when I was going off with him. I won the battle, but the devil is always around. I'm alot stronger now than I use to be. I can be thankful for that. 

    Today is Thursday and I have a telehealth appointment this afternoon with my pharm-D, Dr. Kent. I already sent her my glucose numbers. She is going to have to put me on more medication because my glucose does not fall below 200 anymore. 

    I also have aquatic therapy today. I need to remember to take a kratom drink before I drive there. It really helped me last week. I was so happy! I could walk out of the pool with no pain. I could walk to to van with no pain. The fibromyalgia flare up was alot easier to deal with in the days after pool therpay last week. I just have to remember to bring some dry clothes to change into afterwards. It should be another good day.

    We are having leftovers for dinner, so no worries there. 

    I am just enjoying my hape' this morning with some diet moutain dew. I already started washing laundry. I'm just taking it slow today. Yesterday I was rushed to get places and get things done. I'm trying to not rush today. I just want to get laundry done, and be in peace. I might even take the time to do one of the angel meditations by Melanie Beckler. I love those. I have a few videos left from the Facilitator calls to record, and then I have to rush to get the Success Modules recorded before the 27th. One thing at a time, and deep breathing. 

    If it seems like I have not been reaching out as often, it's because I haven't. I have been overloaded with work to get done. I go to bed exhausted and in pain. 

    I recently went to the Autistic women's group and posted to connect with any other women with ASD who might be single moms with children with ASD. I got some replies! I was able to reply back to them yesterday. I was even given a link to a neurodivergent mothers group which I think would help me.

    It is now 0832. The sun is not showing. It is gray outside. 

    I have not woken Caleb up yet. I am enjoying my slow awakening in the quiet. He has so much energy. If I had his energy, there would be nothing I couldn't do! 

    Tomorrow there are no appointments. I will likely be working on cleaning the house for most of the day. Without someone else coming to clean, it's gotten out of hand. I can't manage it by myself. I've said it once, and I'll say it again, Caleb is like a hurricane in the house. Debris everywhere!

    I really need a rest day. We will see how I feel tomorrow. After all, I do have physical therapy today. I don't know if I will be in pain from that tomorrow. 

    I did not walk on my incline trainer this week. I don't remember why. I just didn't have it in me, I guess. It's alot harder on me than it sounds. I am only walking a mile at 2mph, 0 incline. I have to work back up to it. 

    I never unpacked my brand new acoustic guitar.

    I got denied for foodstamps.

    I haven't worked on my VA claim.

    It has been on my mind to sell my dad's car. We did go out and buy some transmission fluid for it though. 

    I'm just each moment as it comes. I'm trying to stay calm and relaxed. It's hurricane season. I don't know whatever happened to Hurricane Lee. I lost track of it. 

    I have another appointment with Larisa Gosla next week. I want to be sure I get all the videos recorded before then. I don't have alot of time to myself where I am not doing work. I need to schedule some practice time on the frame drum, and doing vocal lessons. 

    I haven't felt well enough to make video content for business facebook page.

    There is just so much to do all the time! It's overwhelming!

    One day I will be noticed just for making it through single parenthood of a disabled child as a disabled veteran. 

    I still miss my dad. I think I will miss him for the rest of my life. 

    I think I'm ready to take my medications and supplements now. Then relax and get Caleb up to start getting things done around here. 

    I struggle so much with him. I ask him to empty the trunk of the Mazda and he does the bare minimum, and leaves stuff behind. I don't know what to do to make this change. I'm going to have to check his work frequently and give consequences. 

    Sounds like the washer is draining. It should be done soon.

    I better get going.

    Thank you for reading, and have a blessed day!

    

TGIF

     TGIF! I am so happy I made through this week. It wasn't easy. It started with Monday's 1 mile walk. I felt good walking, but... Soon after walking, cooling off, spending time in the far infrared sauna blanket, and taking a shower I had trouble walking. The pain was coming from my femoral heads, my hips, and my pelvis. Every step hurt. I had trouble walking to run my errands the whole day. I still got my errands done though! 

    Tuesday was a little better as far as the walking pain goes. It was my dad's birthday. RIP dad. 

    Wednesday I was supposed to go to Wilmington for an appointment, but overslept after waking up super early and going back to bed. I have been working on getting those facilitator videos recorded for my personal library. I had to reschedule my appointment. I stayed home for most of the day. I got some dishes washed and ran the dishwasher. I grilled hamburgers for dinner. Caleb and I went to Amsterdam Life to see Zach. Caleb really wanted to see him, so we stopped on the way to Food Lion. He gave us hugs before we left! 

    Yesterday I had aquatic therapy. I took the kratom drink before I left for my appointment hoping that it would make getting to the Mazda after therapy pain-free. It did! What a blessing! I did a full routine too. 

    Caleb and I are going to volunteer at the Oak Island VFW this Saturday. They run an all you can eat breakfast every so often with pancakes, eggs, sausage, and grits! Caleb and I are going to be serving breakfast. It helps raise funds to pay the VFW bills. I am a member and have been absent from meetings for a long time. 

    Carla, the Jehovah's Witness who came to my house, is coming over on Sunday morning to discuss some resources for children with Autism. She has a 20-something year old son with Autism and has alot to share with me.

    I'm just so happy that 1) I made it to aquatic therapy appointment this week, 2) I did a full routine, and 3) I had no pain after therapy because I drank the kratom drink beforehand! Such a huge win in my book!

    I'm trying to figure out what I need to do today. I have lots on my list of things to do, but because I can't get it done in one day, I have to prioritize what I can do according to my pain levels. 

    Things I know I can do: start washing laundry, go to Walmart for drinks, boil some hard boiled eggs.

    Things I might be able to do to completion: wash the dishes, clean the countertops, the island, and the stove top.

    Things I have to supervise Caleb doing: mowing the grass and weed-wacking the yard, taking the trash out of the Mazda, taking the trash out of the house, washing the trash can.

    I have to look at next week's schedule and plan how I want things to go. I renewed Adventure Academy for Caleb. I hope he can use it to learn and have fun at the same time. 

    I am wondering how I am going to keep my business website running when the bills come in. I am not successful in getting clients at the moment. The annual renewals will be due soon, and I may have to close down. 

    I have been working on my VA claim. It is a work in progress.

    I am waiting to get an update about my child support claim.

    I am waiting to hear about my Foodstamps application.

    I am watching out for Hurricane Lee.

    Today should be a pretty relaxed day. It is 0502 now, but I have been awake for a few hours. I already recorded one facilitator training class. 

    I have to reach my nurse midwife about the birth control pills the VA sent me. I don't think they are the right estrogen dosage.

    I have been in ketosis for 9 consecutive days now. I am really making this happen! I am so happy about it! It's a huge win for me! It took me all year to get this far.

    I cried yesterday after listening to one of my dad's old voicemails. I just wanted to hear his voice again. It hit me hard and I went to Nana to cry it out. I have a hard time feeling my feelings. I hold them in, and feel numb. I have wanted to cry several times and couldn't. I am energetically blocked in several chakras. I need to give myself some "me" time and resolve those blockages so I can feel better.

    My heart is broken. I am still grieving the loss of my dad. So is Nana.

    I am advocating for her to her providers. We found a way for her to be ok to go to the pool with me. We are getting help in getting her an electric wheelchair and medical bed paid by Medicare instead of completely out of pocket.

    We talked about all of us going to the Walmart pharmacy to get our flu shots, pneumonia shots, and possibly Covid-19 boosters if it is determined we need them. 

    Bella has her pajamas on. She is so soft and cuddly.

    I have actually run out of things to say! LOL

    Thank you for reading, and have a blessed day!

    

What's Going On

     So yesterday was an interesting and busy day. I woke up around 0130 and stayed up all morning. I began with updating my credit card usage spreadsheet. I spent time studying where I stand with each account. I am current so far on all accounts. All of a sudden one account has a huge minimum payment and I am wondering how I am going to be able to pay the bill and buy groceries at the same time. I am trying to figure it out. I tried to get a consolidation loan, but I was denied several times. I was offered a debt resolution program more than once. I don't want that. I have been through one before and it killed my credit score for a long time during the program and after the program. My credit score sunk to the 400's. I will do it if I have no choice, but for now I want to continue to try to make payments.

    I think I am going to be ok. I called one creditor directly to see if I could negotiate the terms, but was unsuccessful. 

    After working on my spreadsheets, I began working on my disability supplemental claim. I got through alot of the application, but had to save my work for later. I also recorded one of the Vocal Resonance Method Facilitator calls yesterday morning. Once I was done recording, I went to my room to begin putting away my clean clothes and new clothes. I picked up the dirty clothes from my pile on the floor and put them in the basket. I worked up a sweat. I cooled off and took my meds and supplements and then I walked a mile on the incline trainer. It felt good to walk. Once done, I cooled off and attempted to use my far infrared sauna blanket to increase my post-workout recovery speed. I don't think Caleb pressed the start button on the blanket while I was in it. I fell asleep for a short time. I got up and took a hot and cold shower and got ready for the day. The shower felt good. I decided to try my new underwear from Torrid and new sports bra from Torrid. I also tried on a pair of jeans I have never worn before. They are baggy and loose fitting. I figured they would breathe well in this heat. Even though they are "short" fit, they are long enough for me to walk on. 

    Caleb and I went to CVS to pick up his medication refill. I walked in to pick something up for Nana that she requested. I had trouble walking. Every step hurt. I was shuffling my feet to move down the aisles as I looked for what Nana needed. After we left CVS, we went to Lowe's Foods to buy basil plants. Fresh basil is soo good when you pick it directly from the plants. I wanted to make Caprese salad. We went to Food Lion after that to buy tomatoes. 

    We came back home after our trip to Food Lion. Caleb unloaded the Mazda for me. It was getting close to dinner time. I did not clean the kitchen like I planned to. I asked Nana if it would be ok to have Nathan's hotdogs for dinner instead of the chicken thighs I thought I would be able to make easily. 

    Take a step back. We went to the UPS store after CVS, and then to Lowe's Foods. I had to return an item to amazon and some shoes to Torrid.

    I had trouble walking all afternoon. Every step was difficult and painful. I had to use breathing techniques to "breathe out the pain."

    While I was at Food Lion in the checkout lane, the older lady in front of me asked if I needed help. I replied, "Yes, please." She put my groceries on the conveyor belt so I could check out. The woman working as the cashier asked how I was doing. I told her that I was having trouble walking today, and she said she could have someone walk me out to the car. I told her that my son was waiting in the car, so I would be ok, but thank you. 

    So, yeah. I had no energy to cook or clean when I came home. My femoral heads were hurting along with my pelvis. 

    I spent more time trying to solve my financial problems. I spoke with someone from one of the credit unions I belong to about getting a home equity loan. Unfortunately, it didn't work out because of the 80% rule.

    I tried to reach someone at my physical therapist's office, but no one answered the calls. I got a call from TEACCH for Caleb's enrollment. He has been on the waitlist for 15 months and they are now ready to accept him into their program! Hooray! TEACCH is for autistic kids. So we are going to get help that is relevant to Caleb's Autism! Finally!

    It is now 0405. I have already reviewed my spreadsheets and recorded another Facilitator call. I am just trying to get my thoughts together here.

    Today I was supposed to have fasting labs done this morning, but I broke my fast by drinking Diet Mountain Dew this morning and Gatorade Zero. I was just too thirsty. The labs are for the nurse midwife at the OB/GYN office. I have to remember to bring in what the VA sent me from the pharmacy and ask if they sent the right birth control pills that were ordered. I have a feeling that they sent what I normally use, and not what my nurse midwife ordered.

    Other than that, I have nothing else scheduled for today. I have laundry waiting to be washed, dried, and put away. I need to clean the kitchen so I feel comfortable making the chicken thighs for dinner. I want to help Nana get her room straightened up but I don't know if I can do that And clean the kitchen. Both are big jobs. 

    Tomorrow I go to my appointment in Wilmington for my diabetic shoes, custom insoles, and lifts. I am meeting a Facebook friend for lunch after my appointment. I am taking Caleb and Nana with me so we can eat together. We are going to Golden Corral for lunch. I am looking forward to it. I never go out to eat anymore. Things are just too expensive. 

    I have physical therapy in the pool on Thursday. I think those are my only appointments so far for this week. I am waiting to get calls about Nana's appointments. No one called last week, which is strange. I thought they were supposed to come every week. 

    I received my first acoustic guitar in the mail from SweetWater. I haven't opened the box yet. I bet it's beautiful. I can't wait to learn to play it. 

    I am trying to get back into my Reiki sessions. I am offering a 50% discount for new clients to try a full session. I am hoping this will invite others to try it.

    I have until September 27, 2023 to record all the Facilitator calls before they are taken down. I also have to record the Success Modules in the time too. 

    I have to find a way to sell my dad's car. I need to unload it first, then take some pictures and post it online.

    I still have dreams of writing my own book. I want to wait until I have some of these classes completed before I write. I believe it will make my book more interesting. 

    I still want to create my own music too. One step at a time. I hope to teach Caleb as I am learning.

    I got my refund from Spinal Flow Technique finally. I can breathe now.

    Today is my dad's birthday. I miss him. I miss talking to him everyday.

    I am going to have to cancel all future appointments with Ebony because I don't have the money to pay her. It's unfortunate. I really need help to stay on top of house cleaning. I have so many "bad" days where I cannot move without pain that I get behind pretty quickly. I am trying to tech Caleb to be more responsible about his messes. He is slow to learn and hard to teach. It takes alot of repetition with him, and alot of reminders. 

    Bella is till sleeping in my bed. She is such a good girl. I love her so much. 

    I am keeping my eye out for Hurricane Lee. I hope it doesn't make landfall and stays far away from the coast. 

    It doesn't seem to be getting any cooler outside yet. It was nice for a few days and then got hot again.

    I know today is harder for Nana because it is my dad's birthday. They were together for 27 years. I know it hurts to miss him so much. 

    I'm waiting to see what happens with the Trump cases. If you know me, you know I hate Trump.

    I am a liberal democrat that believes women deserve equal rights, as well as minority groups. I believe I should have access to abortion. I believe books should not be banned in the United States ever. I believe marijuana could help so many people who live with chronic pain and PTSD and should be legal in all states. I believe that someone's choice to be transgender is their own right. I believe voting should not be suppressed but available to every citizen of age. I don't believe Trump should ever be allowed to run for president again. I believe renewable sources of energy are important. I believe that Social Security should never be shut down. I believe that veterans deserve more resources. I believe history is important to learn about. I believe that veterans should not be homeless ever, and always have food. I believe rich people should pay their fair share of taxes.

    That's just the short list.

    It's now 0452. I've been awake for hours now. 

    Maybe today will be another productive day. I don't know yet. It depends on my levels of pain. I have a whole long list of things I want to get done. I started working towards getting them done yesterday, but couldn't do everything in one day.

    I wonder if my dad is watching over me. I know he would be proud of me for not giving up. I continue to move forward every day, even when I don't think I am. I wish I could see him again and hug him. I always tried to make time to spend with him. I'm so glad I saw him last year for his birthday. I bought him a huge jackfruit and delivered it to him. I took some sweet pictures of him with Caleb, Bubba, and Bella. I will never forget you dad!

    For those who don't know, my dad raised me after my parents divorced. He heavily influenced me in how I grew into the person I am today. I cannot thank him enough for not giving up on me. I did things he didn't like or approve of sometimes. I'm glad we were on good terms before he died. I'm glad I spent time with him when I could. I'm glad I talked to him every day for hours. We use to laugh and joke all the time. 

    It's going to be hard going through his car and seeing all his things. It was hard when I did that the first time, when the car was delivered. 

    I suppose I should start working on my day. I have to get ready and do all my morning routines.

    Thank you for reading, and have a blessed day!

    

Can't sleep

     I can't stay asleep tonight for some reason. I cannot feel the cold air in my room. I am burning up! Oh night sweats are back again! Just when I thought I had them under control. I got out of bed around 0130. It is now 0304. I recorded the first of the Vocal Resonance Method Facilitator calls, so I am happy about that. It's alot easier to pay attention without a billion things going on around me. 

    Yesterday was a busy day. I woke up at around 0430 to Nana yelling for me. She fell out of her bed and needed help to get back up. Her yelling scared me and I rushed over to her room to help her. I was able to help her back to bed safely, but I could not go back to sleep. I stayed awake all morning. I used the time to create a summary spreadsheet of my labs this year to bring to my OB/GYN appointment I had later in the morning. It came out good. I then eventually woke Caleb up after I took my meds and supplements. I took a hot and cold shower like I always do. I take the hot shower first to clean myself, and then I take the cold shower after to cool off. Taking a cool shower as cold as you can manage is supposed to have good health benefits. I heard it on the radio one day. I got dressed and we headed out to my OB/GYN appointment.

    We arrived 30 minutes early which I used to stay in the van and do the online check-in. It took me all that time to complete the check-in questionnaires and profile creation process. We went inside when it was closer to time for my appointment, still a few minutes early. I had to use the bathroom right away at that point. I just hoped they did not need my urine sample! I waited to be called back, and when it was my turn, followed the nurse to weigh-in and have my blood pressure taken. 

    Let's take a step back for me to say that there were some very thin soon-to-be mothers there. It was the first time I ever thought to myself that I am glad to have been my size, and not their size when I was pregnant, Their hips were so narrow! Ouch! That's going to hurt!

    Once the nurse was finished with the questions, she left and the nurse midwife came in the room. My appointment was supposed to be 0930, but we started late. The appointment ran until after 1100 before I checked out. We talked alot about why I am not menstruating and my lack of sex-drive. I brought the lab sheet to her so she could see what I have already been through. She was grateful I did that. I even remembered to bring up the "empty sella" problem regarding my hormones! I am going back to take labs next week, and will check in with her again in about 3 months. She ordered a different birth control pill that has more estrogen in it to see if that helps me.

    I waws happy to come back home. It was hot outside! I just wanted to take a nap, so that's exactly what I did. I was exhausted. The anxiety I felt about going to that appointment was unreal. It really made me tired. We got home around 1200. I ate imitation crab meat and some cottage cheese for lunch and rehydrated and went to bed. 

    My 1400 alarm went off and woke me up. I got up because I was expecting the electrician, Stacy's brother, to come fix the problem with our outlets. I was also expecting the Jehovah's Witnesses to come over too. Both happened. Thank God the outlets were not broken. The CGCI was tripped and all he had to do was press a button to reset it. He did not charge me anything because he said "I was only here for 2 minutes." I was so grateful though.

    The Jehovah's witnesses, Carla and her husband Tyrone, came over to do a lesson. We never got to the lesson because I had questions I needed to have answered first. They are very nice people. They remind me alot of Glenn Polite from high school. He was one of my friends in Spanish 5 class and he was a Jehovah's Witness.

     I was still exhausted. I cooled off in the air conditioning after sitting with them for about half an hour out on the porch.

    Thank God for leftovers! I had no energy to clean up the kitchen to cook anything anyway. We had leftover burgers for dinner. I love those burgers. 

    I tried to go to bed early but I was too hot. I kept waking up every couple of hours for the same reason. So here I am and it's now 0357.

    I haven't been typing all this time. I took a break to go check on Nana after I heard her leave the bathroom. I chatted with her for awhile until I started sweating. She keeps her room too warm for me. I keep my room too cold for her. 

    Today we don't have any appointments. I was expecting to get a good night's sleep, but that didn't happen. I am getting Caleb to wash his own clothes. He has been walking around dirty because he hasn't been keeping up with cleaning his dirty laundry. He needs a good shower, but needs clean clothes to put on first. 

    So Caleb will be washing laundry and he needs to mow the grass. I will be cleaning the kitchen at a slow pace because I am tired and hot. If we just get that done, it will make a big difference. Besides, I am cooking dinner tonight, and I don't cook in a dirty kitchen. I am making Nana a king Salmon fillet. Caleb and I will have boneless pork ribs made in the crockpot. I want to make a stirfry-like dish made of green cabbage, kale, collard greens, sweet onion, snow peas, red bell pepper, and baby bella mushrooms in a beef bone broth. Sounds good to me! 

    Monday was hard. It was Labor Day, and I got a call from Yaupon Auto Service here on the island. They were calling to ask if we were going to pick dad's Lincoln Town car up. I apologized for not calling them, and told them that my dad died in December and I lost track of his things. I also told them I had no way to drive the car home. He was willing to charge the battery and drive it to my house for me at no charge. I was so grateful and it hurt so much to see my dad's old car. I just had to go through there and see what he left in the car. It was mostly car parts. Some of Nana's documents were in the trunk, but it was too hot to worry about moving them at the time. 

    Also on Monday, I bought a few Fall clothing items that were on sale at Maurice's. I also bought some dress shoes that I think I can wear with my custom insoles and lift, without them falling out. I chose a bunch of styles of Mary Jane dress shoes. I am going to see which ones I will likely use the most, and how they fit when they arrive, and send the rest back. I don't need many shoes because I only wear my diabetic shoes on a daily basis. I just wanted something to look nice in, just in case I needed to look dressed up.

    I grilled our Shaq burgers Monday after the shade had fallen over the grill. It was soo hot outside! They were delicious though!

    My Aunt Laura posted photos of the new addition to the family yesterday! Calliope is Veronica's newborn baby. So sweet to see the newborn photos.

    I just thought of some other things I need to do today. I need to update my medication list and find out if I had refills of 2 blood pressure medications I take daily but have run out of. 

    I have not forgotten about my VA supplemental claim for aid & attendance. I have just been busy. We had to go without Ebony's help this week because I am broke and couldn't afford to pay her. It's been rough. She helps us alot. Now it is on us to clean by ourselves and it is hard to do with all these appointments during the week. 

    I did not walk my mile on Monday again. I was just too tired and didn't wake up early. I have aquatic therapy on Thursday though. I am hoping I can get through it without a fibromyalgia flare up.

    I was in high ketosis Sunday and Monday but ruined it on Tuesday by eating too much imitation crab meat, which has too many carbs in it. Hopefully I will be back on track today. 

    Oh yeah. I went grocery shopping Monday too. I went to Food Lion and to Lowe's Foods. I am just barely able to buy groceries. I am using credit cards to bridge the gaps between my paychecks. I owe so much money to credit cards for doing that all year long. I hope I can catch up and pay them down. 

    Times are tough. I was stressing about I was going to pay Brian, Stacy's brother, for his work because he wanted to be paid in cash. Thank God he didn't charge me!

    I am going to try to send some of things I ordered online back for refunds. I bougth these tank tops that are supposed to be ion fabric, but they are too small. I bought these ortho-hip braces but they are too small. I bought these pest control plugins because they trip the CGCI breakers in the outlets. I bought the Suga Pro diabetes watch, but it is not accurate at telling me my blood glucose. I bought the wrong cord for Caleb's Xbox and need to return it. So many things that just didn't end out right.

    I reminded Nana that we need to contact her doctor about prescribing a bed that she can't fall out of and an electric wheelchair. We also need to check on a prescription that never came in the mail. 

    I am slowly getting Bella to trust that I can clip her nails. I clip just a few at a time so it is not overly stressful for her. I have gotten most of her nails done so far, and rewarded her for good behavior by showing love and giving treats. She still needs a bath. So does Bubba. I need to do the same thing for Bubba to trim his nails. He is hyperactive because is only just over 1 year old. He will be hard to get to be still. I have some calming treats that I am going to try for them both to see if that helps.

    We are thinking about selling dad's old car. We are not going to drive it. It still needs work because it dumped transmission fluid on the way from the auto repair shop. I am going to make sure nothing important is left in there though.

    I have to find a way to transfer the title of dad's Expedition to Dona Sharon. Without Mathew cooperating I don't know if I can. I was trying to set up an estate for my dad to clear his accounts and retrieve his balances at the banks. I can't do without Mathew because he is also an heir. He has still not given me his address even though I told him why I needed it several times. I don't know how this is going to play out.

    I am still waiting on my child support case. I don't know what is going on with that right now.

    I messaged some old friends Monday too. I text messaged Travis Shaw to see if he was alive. He is doing ok. I messaged Nigel and we chatted. I messaged Dawn from Beacons of Change and Michal too. I reached out to one of my Reiki classmates. 

    I chatted with Rachel last night. It felt good to hear from her. I reached out to Christinia. She is busy with her job most days. 

    Caleb and I were in my bed last night with a movie on and both dogs in the bed with us. Bubba just can't lay down and rest! He is such a puppy that big boy! He's all muscle too. Bella and I were ready to sleep and in comes Caleb with Bubba and his computer. He wanted to watch the Addams Family movie on his computer with me. It was sweet. 

    I need to work with Caleb on his homework, but I need the chores done first. I will get in trouble if I don't get the lawn mowed.

    It's getting late. It's already 0451 now. I should probably start taking care of myself doing my morning routines. 

    Thank you for reading, and have a blessed day!

Just a Sunday morning

     I have been awake since about 0430. It is now 0605. I have been recording the Drum & Song Academy classes for my personal library. Today is the last day I will have access to them. I have 5 modules out of 9 recorded so far. 

    We made it through hurricane Idalia ok. I bought CBD for both dogs to try, and for one for Caleb to try. No THC in either of them, just CBD. I wanted to help Bella not be scared during the hurricane. She gets so scared of thunder during thunderstorms. I think it helped both Bubba and Bella make it through the night without being so nervous. Caleb said it helped him too. I bought Nana gummies to try for her pain. Her gummies are the same formula as my delta-8 vape pen. They have been helping her manage her pain. She can only take 1/2 a gummy at a time for safety reasons. I can only take 0ne long, deep, steady breathe of the delta-8 vape pen every 30 minutes or so. I want it to work, but not make me cough, gag, or seize up. 

    Most of the hurricane came throughout the night. I slept right through it. I was happy we did not lose power to the storm. We thought we lost power earlier Thursday in the whole house, but it ended up just being that the breaker flipped. 

    My clothes are clean! I had only one load of my own laundry to wash and dry, and it's complete! Now. I have to put them away! LOL

    The storm just blew the trash bins over, but at least I told Caleb to place them behind our fence in advance so we aren't to find our trash bins. 

    There was flooding in Southport. According to what I read Friday more than 50,000 homes and businesses were without power between the coast of South Carolina and the North Carolina coast. 

    The weather is now nice outside. It has been sunny and warm, but not too hot. Not like the days prior to the hurricane, when we had heat advisories.

    We are so blessed. We did not have a mandatory evacuation. We did not have the roof torn off our house. We did not get flooded out of the house. We did not lose electricity. We had water to drink. We had running water to be able to use our toilets. The fridge and freezer had power. I did not have to survive without my air conditioners or CPAP to sleep. I am so grateful and blessed. 

    I pray for all the people who had to evacuate or suffered from the hurricane in any way.

    Friday morning came and all was relatively calm. Caleb and I stayed home because of the flooding in Southport. I could hardly stay awake all day long. I spent most of the day in bed. I had whole body pain that I could not escape due to weather conditions and my fibromyalgia. I was exhausted. It took alot out of me to prepare for the hurricane.

    Saturday was yesterday. Hmmm.... I don't remember what I did. oh ok. So I keep an excel spreadsheet to track my credit card usage. I updated that yesterday morning. I also decided I wanted to listen to music that I use to sing all the time in car while driving back in my early 20's. I chose to listen to Coldplay's "X&Y" album. I was planning on working while singing and listening. I was going to clean the kitchen. Once I started listening, though, I could do nothing other than listen. The songs took me back in time to another part of my life. It was before I enlisted in the Army, was struggling to keep a job, and struggling to pay for college. I was living in Greensboro at the time. I was living with Nigel at the time, and we were not yet married. I carried alot of trauma stored in my body resulting in pain that I did not realize there was a diagnosis for. I tried to escape it by smoking marijuana with Nigel. It put me to sleep and made me my muscles tense up. I tried to feel better by snorting cocaine too. I'm so blessed to have made decisions to get me out of the circumstances that led me to do that. I decided I could be a soldier too after Mathew graduated basic training and had changed. I wanted a positive change in my life, so I prepared to enlist in the Army.  

    It had only been a few years since 9/11/2001. The memory was fresh in my mind. I was at UNCG in the freshman dorms, and in my room. I was watching tv when all of a sudden an emergency came on screen. I heard the news and felt devastated and scared. I was worried about my family who frequent New York City. The phone lines were so busy. I tried calling my grandpa over and over. 

    It was 2006 when I enlisted and went to basic training. The U.S. had been in war for years by then. I went to basic training knowing that I could be deployed after training was over, and I could lose my life. I thought to myself, "Better to live and die as a soldier than to live and die as a drug addict."

    Some of the Coldplay songs reminded me of driving to see my dad on the weekends and meeting him at his shop. It really hurts that he is no longer alive. I cried heavy tears.

    I washed only 3 dishes and stopped. I needed a break from the emotions going through my body. I went to lie down and take a nap. I never did get the kitchen clean. Nana had a bowl of soup and a sandwich. Caleb and I had leftover sausages from the night before. 

    A new email came from Sweetwater listing the best beginner acoustic guitars. I actually bought my first acoustic guitar! It was way cheaper than what I saw when I searched, and made it much more affordable for me to buy. I am so excited!

    I think that's when I decided to record the Drum & Song Academy videos. I recorded the intro, Module 1, and Module 2 yesterday. 

     The sun is now shining. Today I need to work on Caleb's dirty laundry, go to Food Lion for blueberries, clean the kitchen, and make bacon for BLT's. 

    I am truly grateful to be safe and at home. 

    I have not been doing the Melanie Beckler Angel meditations. I have not been practicing Reiki on myself. I am using more plant medicine than ever. I cannot take the tinctures from Four Visions Market because of the alcohol base. I did buy yoni bath blends and an eye drop solution too. That's where I get my hape' from. 

    I go to see my new OB/GYN on Tuesday. Wish me luck in getting the appropriate hormone replacement therapy that I need!

    I am back in aquatic therapy on Thursday. I need to buy Caleb a membership so we can save money on him going with me. 

    I am considering walking on Monday again. I like to walk a mile every Monday morning, but I couldn't do it last Monday because I was recovering from a bad fibromyalgia flare up.

    I got my new hip brace in the mail yesterday, and it is one size fits all. It does not fit me, so I am going to have to track customer service down and return them.

    I received my Mellow Fellow delta-8 products in the mail yesterday too. I tried the "Motivation" blend to see how it made me feel. It's better for staying awake than the "Dream" blend for sure!

    I tried to chat with some men through facebook dating, but they are so shady! Like, I am just being me, got nothing to hide. I'm not hiding it because I feel if you can't take it like I can, I don't want you around anyway. You won't be a good partner for me. Point blank. 

    I don't know. I have forgotten how hard dating is. You never really know who you are dealing with online too. It's not the same as meeting someone through work or school. 

    I already forgot that I have 4 more modules of Drum & Song Academy to record. I have learned so much already! I can't wait to be able to slow down and practice until I get it perfected. I am learning how to play the frame drum and sing songs with it. I haven't been singing like I once did. There use to be a time when I couldn't drive without singing. I wouldn't do my chores without listening to music and singing in my head. Anytime I could, I listened to music. I can't connect to the music I hear on the radio, like I did when I was younger.  

    Tomorrow is Labor Day. I skipped tomorrow's appointment with Ebony to clean the house because I don't have the money to pay her for this week. I have to find a way to be able to afford help around the house like I need. I need the VA to decide in my favor for aid & attendance. I have to submit a supplemental claim with evidence that I need and qualify for that benefit. I need to start working on that. 

    I still have to record the Vocal Resonance Method Facilitator live calls. I don't want to lose those either. 

    Soooo.... last week was my "period week." I didn't menstruate, but I did have cramps and some proof of my body wanting to menstruate. It's a big deal because I have not had a period in more than a year, maybe even longer but I can't remember. I bought Caleb cookies, which he then brought in to me to open the package for him. I couldn't say no when he offered me one. That night I had alot of cookies. These cookies were full sugar, regular cookies. I am supposed to eat fewer than 30g of carbohydrates on my doctor-prescribed keto diet, and I definitely went over the limit. It tasted so good though. Real chocolate! 

    The next day or so I ordered a door dash order from Lowe's Foods for 7 boxes of cereal and 4 almond milks. This was before the hurricane. I had my fill of cereal too. 

    I say all of that to say I hope that I am in ketosis today. I was "good" all day yesterday. Staying in ketosis is the best way for me to lose weight right now. Continuing to walk will help me with my stress levels and keep me able to move without so much pain. 

    There is alot going on with me this week. I just hope I can manage it all. I began clearing the clutter in my workspace a while back, but I did not finish the job. 

    I want to organize a hurricane prep area inside my house where I can stock our emergency stock so it won't get used unless we need it. 

    I want to help Nana get her room just right. I know what it is like to live with clutter, and it's negatively affecting both of us. I still have stuff to put away in my room. Caleb needs to clean his room out completely and deep clean and start fresh. 

    Today is Sunday so I have to remind Caleb to clear off the porch of any trash or recycling and take all the trash out of the house, into the bins, and take the bins to the road. If I don't tell him exactly what to do, he won't do it right. He may still not do it right. I just keep trying to keep him in a routine so it is familiar to him. It can be frustrating to be Caleb's only parent. 

    Caleb likes to waste time and argue about things that do not need to be argued. I just breathe through it and  have patience. I want him to learn so he understands why it's important to help around the house, why it's important to keep our spaces clean, and that I am here to teach him, not argue with him. 

    Somebody's dogs are outside barking. The birds are chirping. The sun is rising. Looks like another beautiful day. 

    It's already 0747. I need to get to work on preparing my medications and supplements. I still have recording to do, which requires me to watch the videos and stay in my chair. I might want to start the laundry and the dishwasher before I start recording again. If I get the pans washed too, I can start baking bacon! Wins! Maybe I should go get the blueberries before I start cooking though. Yeah that sounds better. 

    Time to wake Caleb up! Here we go!

    Thank you for reading, and have a blessed day!

    Comments are open to feedback by the way. 

    Peace out!