Tuesday, September 12, 2023

What's Going On

     So yesterday was an interesting and busy day. I woke up around 0130 and stayed up all morning. I began with updating my credit card usage spreadsheet. I spent time studying where I stand with each account. I am current so far on all accounts. All of a sudden one account has a huge minimum payment and I am wondering how I am going to be able to pay the bill and buy groceries at the same time. I am trying to figure it out. I tried to get a consolidation loan, but I was denied several times. I was offered a debt resolution program more than once. I don't want that. I have been through one before and it killed my credit score for a long time during the program and after the program. My credit score sunk to the 400's. I will do it if I have no choice, but for now I want to continue to try to make payments.

    I think I am going to be ok. I called one creditor directly to see if I could negotiate the terms, but was unsuccessful. 

    After working on my spreadsheets, I began working on my disability supplemental claim. I got through alot of the application, but had to save my work for later. I also recorded one of the Vocal Resonance Method Facilitator calls yesterday morning. Once I was done recording, I went to my room to begin putting away my clean clothes and new clothes. I picked up the dirty clothes from my pile on the floor and put them in the basket. I worked up a sweat. I cooled off and took my meds and supplements and then I walked a mile on the incline trainer. It felt good to walk. Once done, I cooled off and attempted to use my far infrared sauna blanket to increase my post-workout recovery speed. I don't think Caleb pressed the start button on the blanket while I was in it. I fell asleep for a short time. I got up and took a hot and cold shower and got ready for the day. The shower felt good. I decided to try my new underwear from Torrid and new sports bra from Torrid. I also tried on a pair of jeans I have never worn before. They are baggy and loose fitting. I figured they would breathe well in this heat. Even though they are "short" fit, they are long enough for me to walk on. 

    Caleb and I went to CVS to pick up his medication refill. I walked in to pick something up for Nana that she requested. I had trouble walking. Every step hurt. I was shuffling my feet to move down the aisles as I looked for what Nana needed. After we left CVS, we went to Lowe's Foods to buy basil plants. Fresh basil is soo good when you pick it directly from the plants. I wanted to make Caprese salad. We went to Food Lion after that to buy tomatoes. 

    We came back home after our trip to Food Lion. Caleb unloaded the Mazda for me. It was getting close to dinner time. I did not clean the kitchen like I planned to. I asked Nana if it would be ok to have Nathan's hotdogs for dinner instead of the chicken thighs I thought I would be able to make easily. 

    Take a step back. We went to the UPS store after CVS, and then to Lowe's Foods. I had to return an item to amazon and some shoes to Torrid.

    I had trouble walking all afternoon. Every step was difficult and painful. I had to use breathing techniques to "breathe out the pain."

    While I was at Food Lion in the checkout lane, the older lady in front of me asked if I needed help. I replied, "Yes, please." She put my groceries on the conveyor belt so I could check out. The woman working as the cashier asked how I was doing. I told her that I was having trouble walking today, and she said she could have someone walk me out to the car. I told her that my son was waiting in the car, so I would be ok, but thank you. 

    So, yeah. I had no energy to cook or clean when I came home. My femoral heads were hurting along with my pelvis. 

    I spent more time trying to solve my financial problems. I spoke with someone from one of the credit unions I belong to about getting a home equity loan. Unfortunately, it didn't work out because of the 80% rule.

    I tried to reach someone at my physical therapist's office, but no one answered the calls. I got a call from TEACCH for Caleb's enrollment. He has been on the waitlist for 15 months and they are now ready to accept him into their program! Hooray! TEACCH is for autistic kids. So we are going to get help that is relevant to Caleb's Autism! Finally!

    It is now 0405. I have already reviewed my spreadsheets and recorded another Facilitator call. I am just trying to get my thoughts together here.

    Today I was supposed to have fasting labs done this morning, but I broke my fast by drinking Diet Mountain Dew this morning and Gatorade Zero. I was just too thirsty. The labs are for the nurse midwife at the OB/GYN office. I have to remember to bring in what the VA sent me from the pharmacy and ask if they sent the right birth control pills that were ordered. I have a feeling that they sent what I normally use, and not what my nurse midwife ordered.

    Other than that, I have nothing else scheduled for today. I have laundry waiting to be washed, dried, and put away. I need to clean the kitchen so I feel comfortable making the chicken thighs for dinner. I want to help Nana get her room straightened up but I don't know if I can do that And clean the kitchen. Both are big jobs. 

    Tomorrow I go to my appointment in Wilmington for my diabetic shoes, custom insoles, and lifts. I am meeting a Facebook friend for lunch after my appointment. I am taking Caleb and Nana with me so we can eat together. We are going to Golden Corral for lunch. I am looking forward to it. I never go out to eat anymore. Things are just too expensive. 

    I have physical therapy in the pool on Thursday. I think those are my only appointments so far for this week. I am waiting to get calls about Nana's appointments. No one called last week, which is strange. I thought they were supposed to come every week. 

    I received my first acoustic guitar in the mail from SweetWater. I haven't opened the box yet. I bet it's beautiful. I can't wait to learn to play it. 

    I am trying to get back into my Reiki sessions. I am offering a 50% discount for new clients to try a full session. I am hoping this will invite others to try it.

    I have until September 27, 2023 to record all the Facilitator calls before they are taken down. I also have to record the Success Modules in the time too. 

    I have to find a way to sell my dad's car. I need to unload it first, then take some pictures and post it online.

    I still have dreams of writing my own book. I want to wait until I have some of these classes completed before I write. I believe it will make my book more interesting. 

    I still want to create my own music too. One step at a time. I hope to teach Caleb as I am learning.

    I got my refund from Spinal Flow Technique finally. I can breathe now.

    Today is my dad's birthday. I miss him. I miss talking to him everyday.

    I am going to have to cancel all future appointments with Ebony because I don't have the money to pay her. It's unfortunate. I really need help to stay on top of house cleaning. I have so many "bad" days where I cannot move without pain that I get behind pretty quickly. I am trying to tech Caleb to be more responsible about his messes. He is slow to learn and hard to teach. It takes alot of repetition with him, and alot of reminders. 

    Bella is till sleeping in my bed. She is such a good girl. I love her so much. 

    I am keeping my eye out for Hurricane Lee. I hope it doesn't make landfall and stays far away from the coast. 

    It doesn't seem to be getting any cooler outside yet. It was nice for a few days and then got hot again.

    I know today is harder for Nana because it is my dad's birthday. They were together for 27 years. I know it hurts to miss him so much. 

    I'm waiting to see what happens with the Trump cases. If you know me, you know I hate Trump.

    I am a liberal democrat that believes women deserve equal rights, as well as minority groups. I believe I should have access to abortion. I believe books should not be banned in the United States ever. I believe marijuana could help so many people who live with chronic pain and PTSD and should be legal in all states. I believe that someone's choice to be transgender is their own right. I believe voting should not be suppressed but available to every citizen of age. I don't believe Trump should ever be allowed to run for president again. I believe renewable sources of energy are important. I believe that Social Security should never be shut down. I believe that veterans deserve more resources. I believe history is important to learn about. I believe that veterans should not be homeless ever, and always have food. I believe rich people should pay their fair share of taxes.

    That's just the short list.

    It's now 0452. I've been awake for hours now. 

    Maybe today will be another productive day. I don't know yet. It depends on my levels of pain. I have a whole long list of things I want to get done. I started working towards getting them done yesterday, but couldn't do everything in one day.

    I wonder if my dad is watching over me. I know he would be proud of me for not giving up. I continue to move forward every day, even when I don't think I am. I wish I could see him again and hug him. I always tried to make time to spend with him. I'm so glad I saw him last year for his birthday. I bought him a huge jackfruit and delivered it to him. I took some sweet pictures of him with Caleb, Bubba, and Bella. I will never forget you dad!

    For those who don't know, my dad raised me after my parents divorced. He heavily influenced me in how I grew into the person I am today. I cannot thank him enough for not giving up on me. I did things he didn't like or approve of sometimes. I'm glad we were on good terms before he died. I'm glad I spent time with him when I could. I'm glad I talked to him every day for hours. We use to laugh and joke all the time. 

    It's going to be hard going through his car and seeing all his things. It was hard when I did that the first time, when the car was delivered. 

    I suppose I should start working on my day. I have to get ready and do all my morning routines.

    Thank you for reading, and have a blessed day!


    

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