Wednesday, March 13, 2024

Monday was busy

     Normally Monday is the hardest day of the week because we have to get up at 0530 for Caleb to catch the bus after a weekend of getting up at 0700. It is already hard on us , but this Sunday we turned the clocks forward an hour. That made it even harder. 

    Caleb had an appointment with his therapist Monday morning though, so he didn't have to catch the bus. We got up around 0700 and started our day. Sunday was hard adjusting to the new time. I lost an hour so I lost time in the day to get things done that I needed to get done. Ugh!

    Caleb's therapy appointment went well, and I remembered to tell Ms. Carol that we wanted to be referred to Youth Villages intensive in-home program. I also remembered to tell the front desk that on Feb 21st, when we arrived for an appointment and were told we didn't have an appointment in the system, we actually did have an appointment scheduled as proved by the hand-written appointment card made by the front desk lady that I showed her. I wasn't a bitch about it because the anger had subsisded. Ijust informed her that it happened. 

    Caleb is clear to have Youth Villages intensive in-home care. Finally! We are going to get the help we need. I brought Caleb to school after his appointment and then headed to Food Lion. I needed to buy some Fix-a-flat for my tires, and some groceries to cook our healthy meals. I messaged my mom to ask her for some grocery money because I was short on cash. She did not respond, but I think maybe she does not have wifi where she is. I'm pretty sure she is on a cruise doing something special with her husband for her birthday. I hope she takes photos. Anyway, I asked Nigel to help too. He couldn't send money the only way I can receive it instantly, by facebook messenger pay. All my other accounts are in the negative due to a scam I fell to. He was going to Western Union some money for groceries, but I told him don't worry about it. I told him I would beg Nana, and I asked Nana. I hate asking Nana for money. I feel so badly that I have to ask anybody for money. It is what it is I guess. Our budget changed when the mortgage rose $322/month this month. I now only have $24 from the first of the month until the 3rd Wednesday of the month. It's not an easy situation to be in. I am trying my best to save money when I have it to cover when I don't have much. I am still praying for child support to come my way, along with VA Aid & Attendance. I am waiting for the VA to make a decision on my disability compensation claims first, then they will determine if I am eligible for the VA pension and Aid &Attendance. It's a long process. I pray that all my concerns will be approved. 

    Nana was able to give me money to buy the food I wanted to buy. I was dying for almond milk. I have gotten in the habit of having raisin bran crunch in the early mornings with almond milk. I ran out of almond milk and could no longer have my cereal. I get so hungry and thirsty in the middle of the night. I think maybe my sugar drops. I need to start checking my sugar before I have my cereal to confirm or deny that thought. I need to know what is going on. It just recently started. I use to be able to sleep through the night, or at least stay in bed. Now, I am getting up to use the bathroom around midnight, and eating cereal afterwards.

    I am so grateful to have food in the house. Especially when I couldn't afford it on my own.

    I came home after Food Lion. Oh! I was given a present by Donna, a Food Lion worker. She gave me a special bracelet that is made by veterans for veterans and the profits from the company go to provide veterans with PTSD service dogs. It is so awesome! I might need one of those service dogs after my dogs pass away. I even got a hug from her! I felt so loved.

    I brought the groceries in and I think I might have washed some dishes. I was trying to clean up as much as possible, but didn't get very far. 

    I don't remember when I made dinner. It might have been Sunday night. I made ham and greens with rice and black beans. It turned out good too. I made enough to make sure we would have food to eat for days. 

    After I ate dinner, I had a video call with Nigel, my ex-husband. It was a good time. he met Caleb for the first time. I was tired at the end of the day.

    I am using a new audio track called "Wealth Signal." It is audio that brings the brain to an alpha wave. I felt the difference in my brain right away. I used before bed, and it changed the way I sleep. My body was resting, but my brain was totally on. Sooo.... I have to use it in the mornng to wake up and start my day. I also wanted Nana to try it, so I gave her access. 

    Monday I also began the course called "Yoga For Trauma." It is an 8-week course that I believe will help me heal my own trauma, and find better ways to help others with their truamas. I was given a full scholarship because I have my own business and want to help other veterans. I met some awesome women in this cohort. I still haven't started the material yet, but I made it to the intro class.

    Tuesday was a big difference from Monday. Caleb rode the school bus in the morning so we had to wake up at 0530. Man was I tired! After getting Caleb on the bus, I went to lie down for a nap. I planned to take a shower yesterday, but I never made it out of bed. I went to take a nap, and only got up for lunch, and to take the dogs outside. I didn't get good sleep. My body rested, but my mind did not. Thank God for leftovers!

    So, yeah, I got nothing done yesterday. Today I have an appointment in Wilmington to go the dentist again. This time it is just for a cleaning. I woke up around 0230 and have been awake all this time. It is now 0444. I went ahead and took my morning medications and supplements. I have done some hape'. I am feeling better this morning than I have been feeling. I had a big bowl of cereal after using the bathroom when I got up. I drank all the almond milk I wanted too. I feel good for once. 

    I am going to take a shower and put on some pretty clothes today. I want to wear a dress again. I have many that are just waiting for me to wear them. 

    Also on Monday, I got an email from Vet Tix about the Cirque de Soleil coming to Greensboro, NC. That is where Nigel lives. I thought it would be a good opportunity to go see him and take our kids out together. I went ahead and requested tickets out of excitement, only to realize later that we can't go. Yeah it's too far to try drive on the weekday, and I can't drive at night. I don't have anyone to watch Nana and the dogs while we are gone. Caleb needs to be in school Friday. Nelani, Nigel's daughter, is in a play that night too. Well, I tried.

    We are still working on trying to get the house cleaned up. I am struggling with my Seasonal Affective Disorder and Major Depression. I am fighting fatigue and chronic pain. Life is hard on me. 

    Thursday Caleb has his IEP meeting in the morning. Later that day, I have my appointment with Dr. Kent, pharm-D. I don't think I have anything going on Friday. I need to rest when I can. I need to remember that I have Autism and am an empath and become tired easily due to overstimulation. I need to have compassion for myself and allow myself to rest as needed. 

    I want to start walking on the incline trainer again. I need Caleb to clear it off again so I canuse it when I feel like the time is right. 

    Christinia wants photos of Caleb, Nana, and me together. I need to find a good way to get that done.

    Taxes are due soon. I have to file my taxes when I get paid. I am trying to find a way to pay for a set of new tires for the Mazda. I need help. I just don't make enough money to be able to afford everything I need to pay for.

    I am praying I will get customers soon. I don't know why I haven't had any. It's a mystery to me. 

    I want to put together a book. I don't know how to get started. I haven't figured out what I want the book to be about yet. Likely a book about having Autism and parenting a child with Autism. 

    I have a long list of things to do. I got organized on either Sunday or Monday and made a new list of things I need to pay attention to. 

    It's almost time for Caleb to wake up. I wonder if I could take a shower really quick before the alarm goes off. No, I'll wait so I can take my time. 

    I forgot that Tuesday was Caleb's picture day at school. I hope he took good pictures. And I also forgot that this afternoon after Caleb comes home, Lakita is coming by. She is a new social worker with a family help organization that we were referred to. She is coming to do the intake appointment.

    I will not have to cook today because I still have ham and greens and rice and beans to eat for dinner. Caleb and Nana might choose to eat something different. That's ok because they have pnatry food that needs to get eaten. 

    I got so happy to go grocery shopping on Monday. I bought stuff to have a Greek night again. I loved it last time. Was yummy to my tummy! We are also going to have a pizza night and a pasta night coming up. I bought the corned beef brisket on sale, and I will cook that in the crockpot one day too. I was just so happy to be able to buy fresh vegetables and fruits on sale, and prepare us for the week with meals to eat. I grew up with lack. I grew up in a single parent home with my younger brother. Times were hard as my dad tried to provide everything with little help from my mom. I just have issues with lack. I fear lack of food in my house all the time. It's such a huge issue to me. I've got to plan better. 

    I only have a few minutes before I have to wake up Caleb. I pray for a good day for all of us. 

    If you or anyone you know is interested in energy healing, let me know! I am looking for clients who are willing and able to make appointments at https://heal.me/healinergy . 

    I'm going to get going. 

    Thank you for reading, and have a blessed day! Keep us in your prayers!

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