This past weekend I took a much needed stay-cation at home in my own bed with my family. I was able to rest like I needed since there were no appointments. The keto chili was already made and in the fridge. I did not have to cook. Caleb made us grilled cheese sandwiches that were delicious! I really spent most of the weekend in my bed trying to sleep. I kept waking up at night to use the bathroom, get a drink, or get a snack. My diabetes is driving me nuts.
I have been awake since about 0400 this morning. It is now 0500 and almost time to wake Caleb up for school. He was complaining of problems with his ears last night to which I gave him acetaminophen for. I might have to take him to the doctor's office if it continues. I don't know what I have going on today. I am supposed to be getting paid. So I will need to pay the bills. I always go to the Town Hall to pay the water bill. I need to look at my spreadsheet to see what else needs to be paid still. I need some groceries. I don't have meals to cook.
I know I have lots of laundry that did not get washed this weekend, I have a dishwasher to run too. I am not so exhausted feeling this morning, so that is good. These waves of energy passing through me have been unexpected. We had Easter, Spring Break, stomach flu, solar eclipse, and my birthday practically one after the other! That's a lot to deal with under the pressures of 2 different social workers to get my house cleaned or else we are going to court! I couldn't work under those conditions. I don't know anyone who could. I was just trying to survive and provide for my loved ones.
Well , I started blogging a few days ago, and then left and never came back to finish!
Today is Friday. I was woken up by Caleb because Bubba had diarrhea in his room. It is now 0322. We have been awake for about an hour or so. He is now sleeping in the living room.
Yesterday was difficult. I could not get out of bed on time and decided to stay in bed. I did not sleep well. I had Bubba and Caleb sleeping in my bed. Bubba was giving off a lot of heat and making me hot. I could not breathe. I had my CPAP on, but it was not getting me enough Oxygen to comfortably sleep. I was even trying to get enough air by breathing through my mouth. I just could not sleep. I got up around 0830 or so. I needed to take a shower. Caleb stayed home because I did not get up. He did not get up either. I knew Lakita was supposed to come over around 1400 to get me to sign a paper, and Caleb's new in-home therapist was coming over around 1600. The house was a mess. Caleb began cleaning up the living room. It took me a long time to get moving. I had to take all my morning medications and supplements, and then give Caleb his meds. I was so tired all day yesterday. I managed to get some dishes washed, and began cleaning up around the kitchen. I had Caleb take out the kitchen trash and the bag of trash around my chair. I collected the Dew boxes and empty gallon water bottles to be recycled. I tried to clear the kitchen floor by sweeping it up into a pile for easier cleanup. The pile is still there. I managed to put together a dinner that Nana bought for us. It was an easy microwave dinner made up of refrigerated rotisserie chicken chunks, black beans, Spanish rice, avocado chunks, on keto-friendly tortillas. Yummy!
Lakita did not come to the house because another family was having a crisis. Ashley came to the house and we answered the questions she had. That appointment did not take long.
Wednesday morning was Hell. I had a fasting lab I was preparing for, and was struggling. I needed to take a shower, but couldn't. I don't know why. I needed to drive all the way to Wilmington to have my labs done, and I was hungry so I just left the house as I was to go get them done. I was dirty and probably smelling bad from sweating. I got my blood drawn after a few bad attempts, and went to the car and ate my doughnuts I packed with me. I drove home without stopping at a fast food restaurant for food. It wasn't easy because I was still sooo hungry and sooo thirsty.
I made it home and needed a nap badly, so I ate Caleb's leftovers from the night before and went to rest. Tuesday night I made ribeye steak, jumbo shrimp, long grain seasoned rice, and black beans. I figured the steak and shrimp were on sale and I could count it towards my birthday celebration. It was delicious!
Wednesday night I made the same dinner as Tuesday night. I did not feel like myself because I went the whole day without all my morning pills. I got the news yesterday about my A1c; it's 7.9. I do not need insulin at this point. I am happy about that! I thought my A1c was going to skyrocket because of all the bad diet decisions I have been making. Thank God it didn't! I got my Ozempic pen in the mail yesterday too. I will start taking it on Sunday morning. It is a once a week shot, so I don't want to forget when I take it. I hope I lose weight using it. I am praying so hard that it works for me.
I got my federal and state taxes filed through TurboTax on Monday. I got paid on Monday so I could pay the TurboTax charge. It was almost $200! That came out of our grocery money.
I have not been able to create videos for my business yet. I have not been feeling well. I am struggling. I have not even been able to take a shower since last week sometime. What's worse is that I have been sweating a lot.
Today I have to drive to Wilmington again for a dental appointment regarding my tooth pain in the tooth that had a root canal. I can't wait to be back home already. I have got to get myself a shower before I go. I will feel so much better after a nice hot shower with an ice cold rinse.
I could be sleeping right now. Caleb woke me up and was so hyper because Bubba had diarrhea in his room. It's almost 0400 now. Wakeup is at 0530. I may as well just stay up and figure out what to do today besides go to my appointment. I need to to get as much trash out of the house as possible and get Caleb to clear the yard so Jonathan can mow it for us. There is so much junk in the front yard and the back yard. I can't stand it.
I can't believe I turned 41! Just wowza! My mom sent my flowers that I continue to smell in the mornings. A beautiful Spring time arrangement in a smiley face pot. I love flowers, but they are expensive.
Caleb got his report card the other day. He made mostly A's and B's with only one C. Caleb got his school photos back too! I can't wait to send them to family. I wish I had Mathew's address. I don't know if he moved or not. Caleb went on a field trip and rode a horse! I wish I had a photo of him on the horse. We are gearing up for the end of the school year here. Testing will be here soon. The 8th grade formal is coming up, but Caleb is not interested in going.
This weekend we will be catching up on laundry. I have been trying to keep Caleb to keep the laundry going. Most of the dirty laundry is his. He has no clean clothes according to him, He knows how to use the washing machine and dryer, he just doesn't without prompting. I can't keep up on everything all of the time, especially when my health is not cooperating.
I think I need to go back on the keto diet with Virta. They are trying to release me back to my primary care because they did not get the renewal authorization from the VA . Dr. Fuchs put in the order earlier this year, so I don't know what the hold up is. I don't want to be released and have to start all over again.
It is now 0412. I don't know what to do about Caleb. I don't know if he has dry laundry in the dryer to wear. I'm thinking about waking him up to go check.
I know I need a shower. I have been shopping for period and incontinence underwear. I am looking for moisture wicking shorts that are at least 5 inches long that are for leaks for the Summer. I already have a rash on my panty line where my skin is rubbing itself and sweat is collecting. It's nasty feeling. I don't like it, and I can't take more showers than I already am. I struggle with my energy levels so bad that I can only take a shower on a day I have no appointments usually so I don't burn out.
I guess I could get my pills ready to take. I am really thirsty and just drank a lot of water and gatorade zero.
I tried to comb my hair yesterday after having it in 2 braids for more than a few days and had so many tangles and knots in it. It hurt so bad to try to pick the knots out, even with hair conditioning spray that moisture. The wetness usually makes combing and brushing easier. I combed out so many knots and pulled so much hair from my comb. I could have created a small puppy with all the hair I took out of my comb! I ended up pulling it back into a bun for safe keeping. Hopefully I can wash my hair easily since I did not use the hair grease that I like to use when I put my hair up.
My room looks like a disaster struck. I can't wait to be able to spend time on cleaning it. It really affects how I feel. I feel so much better when things are picked up and put away properly. Caleb's room stinks again. I cannot get this boy to follow my rules for anything. Like how hard is it to not leave dirty clothes on the floor? Or not leave Bubba unattended in his room? Simple things that I did without prompting when I was his age. I never had a dirty room when I was 15 years old. By that age I had already been doing the family's laundry for years. I had already been washing dishes and preparing food for years for the family too. I was relieved of some of my duties when Nana came into the picture. She took over washing her own laundry with dad's laundry, so I only had to wash my own. When we moved from Spring Lake to the house in Southern Pines, we moved to a house with a dishwasher. I learned quickly that dishes need to be pre-washed before using the dishwasher, but it still made things that much easier on me. I no longer made meals for the family when Nana moved in. She took over that.I would help her, and try to learn to cook by being around, but it was no longer solely my responsibility. When Nana moved in, it was easier to just worry about school. We moved at the end of my freshman year in highschool.
I reached out to Drill Sergeant Davis the other day when I saw that he was online on Facebook messenger. He did not respond. I wonder why not?
I searched for Emily Deese and Camera Crump. I do not know if that is how you spell Crump's first name. I looked for both of them on Facebook. I went to Medic training with both of them. I wish I could remember the other people I knew back then. I can remember their faces, but not their names.
I am getting a lot of political emails these days. I am signing a lot of petitions. Some days I just have to trash the emails because I don't have the energy to do anything about it.
I have been trying to keep with Nigel. He works a lot. I have been trying to keep up with Christinia. She thinks she is getting sick again. I miss chatting with her throughout the day. I reached out to Rachel. She has another grandbaby on the way! I am trying to keep with Siaouw, now known as Lella Stevens. She had bariatric surgery not long ago and has trouble even eating a yogurt these days. I just don't want to have to go through that. I need to get my act together so I can lose weight. I want to be able to start walking on my incline trainer again. I need to get well first. I don't have the energy required to keep up with my own house cleaning. I'm exhausted all of the time due to my sensitivities. I have Autism and fibromyalgia. My emotions are huge. I mask less than I use to, but still a lot. I have to fight myself to express myself. It's exhausting. I stay in my head a lot. That is when I can think. I have brain fog a lot. Hape' helps with that. I take so many medications and all of them have side effects. So many side effects that I can't keep up with them. They don't all work well on me, I take supplements to try to make it better, and improve how I feel throughout the day, and be healthier. I am not sure if they even help me, but I feel the difference when I don't take them. Life is harder without taking taking supplements, so I continue to use them. I am now taking delta-8/delt-9/thc gummy as needed to help me get through the days without pain. I was throwing up when I was sick, after using kratomade, so I discontinued it for now. I like the kratomade because it helps my back and pelvis pain, and does not make me tired. I should probably restart taking it now that I am no longer throwing up.
The weather has been nice lately. Sunny days, cool mornings, warm afternoons, and plants blooming everywhere! So beautiful where I live! I really don't want to have to move. I have got to figure out a way to pay my bills. I am not getting anywhere with my Reiki business yet. I have not been able to get the reviews I need to have my business show in the search on heal.me. I need to give Nana 2 reiki sessions for her to review each separately. I also need to create some videos to gain interest on Facebook. I am swamped with this house cleaning disaster and it is taking all my free time, if ever there was such a thing. I am so tired of cleaning Caleb's messes. He is old enough to clean up after himself, but his ADHD gets in the way. He starts tasks and does not complete them all the time. I ask him to take the trash out, and he takes it to the living room instead of taking it outside to the trash bin and putting it in there. Ugh! Parenting is hard because I refuse to hit and/or abuse Caleb in the process. I am attempting to consciously and gently parent him the best way I can using my education and experience to influence me, and getting help from professionals in mental health and trying to keep up with Special needs parenting groups on Facebook. It's a lot to ask of just one person. It's time consuming and exhausting. I love Caleb, and I want him to succeed in life, so I do what I can to make sure he is cared for when I die.
I want to try a hypnosis course I purchased from Udemy for gastric bypass hypnosis. I hope it also helps me. I just need to begin the course and stay on track with it. I have not had the time to give to my Yoga for Trauma course like I hoped I would. I have a lot of catching up to do. I am at least 6 weeks behind already. I feel so badly. I was granted a full scholarship for that class, and I have only attended once. I have got to catch up!
It is now 0455. I am going to go ahead and get my pills together. I will waking Caleb up soon.
Thank you for reading! Keep us in your prayers! Have a blessed day!
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