Monday morning

     I feel like alot of stuff that is important to me is not getting out of my system. I am signing petitions left and right to fight for what I think is important. I am standing up for women, minorities, veterans, people of color, LGTBQ+, animals and pets, refugees, war victims, single parents, children with special needs, children in general.... you name it!

    I hate Trump with a passion! I fear what may happen under his second presidency. He can't be trusted.

    I am dealing with my own personal wars too. I am fighting the Child Protective Services DSS to keep my son with me. I am trying to explain our combined health conditions and why our house is a disaster. I have had to act out my emotions for them to be noticed. 

    I am waiting for VA to approve my compensation claim so I can be approved for Aid & Attendance.

    I am finally filing for Caleb's Social Security Disability.

    I am not eligible for food stamps but struggle to buy groceries and gas.

    There is a person running for NC Governor who doesn't believe the Holocaust is real.

    I was able to refill the windshield wiper fluid, and check the cabin air filter. The check engine light turned off after I checked the air filter. Nothing was wrong. Maybe it just wasn't closed properly.

    Caleb has been calling me from his school to pick him up because is having crying spells. I have not been picking him up though. He needs to be at school and learn how to manage his emotions. I hope the intensive in-home therapy will help with that.

    I am still grieving the loss of my dad. I cried so hard the other night, it almost physically hurt. I collected myself and went to sit with Nana. I was able to calm down after sitting with her and Bella for awhile.

    I gave a Reiki session on Friday. It was tiring. I know I did well though because of the response I got immediately afterward. I was hoping she would leave feedback on my Facebook business page. I hope to get some customers soon. 

    I was throwing up last week. I did a second dose of hape' and vomited each time, twice, two different days. That is not my normal response to hape'. I don't what I am doing that is causing me to vomit. I am taking some new supplements in order to cleanse my fatty liver. I hope they are working. I started taking Ozempic the Sunday before last and I weighed in at 314 lbs. Yesterday I took my second dose and weighed in at 310.6 lbs! I am so happy to see progress quickly. You have no idea what a relief it is. I tried so hard to be in ketosis, but it is not easy to give up foods I love to eat. Unfortunately it looks like I will have to be on the keto diet forever to manage my diabetes. My last A1c lab came back at 7.9! I don't need insulin, and I want to keep it that way. 

    I had a transition meeting for Caleb at his school on Friday. It went well. I had a meeting with the DSS social worker and Caleb's in-home therapist on Thursday and that went well. 

    Before I gave Reiki to my customer, I gave Reiki to myself as preparation. I need to be giving myself formal Reiki more often. Usually I fall asleep giving myself informal Reiki. It helps me with my pains.

    I have been chatting with Nigel. I miss him. 

    I have been keeping up with Christinia. She hasn't been feeling well for a week already. I pray she recovers quickly. 

    The school year is almost over. Caleb's last day is May 29th. They have end of grade testing coming up soon. Caleb has a dental appointment this Wednesday.

    Nana has an appointment with her primary care today. Caleb has in-home therapy on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon. I have a phone call appointment for Nana's tax resolution on Friday.

    I'm trying to get Caleb up early to do some chores he did not want to do last night. He is tired, but the work has to be done. 

    Mondays are the worst. I hate getting up at 0530 on the weekdays. It's too early for me. I feel so tired the whole day long. I am looking into sugar-free energy drinks on Amazon. I have to quit drinking Diet Mountain Dew because there are all kinds of reports of how bad it is for me. 

    I am trying to go back on the keto diet. Caleb unpacked the waffle maker Saturday and made everybody waffles. I could not resist. It was delicious! I haven't had waffles in ages. Just another thing I have to give up. 

    I have been getting the laundry caught up. I have been able to catch up a bit on the dish washing. I am trying to get where I can steam clean the carpets. I need Caleb's help to get that done. His room needs to be deep cleaned badly. I am trying to declutter and organize as I go along. I am going to give Christinia a lot of stuff that I am not using and have not used in a long time. She is going to come over and pick the stuff up sometime soon so I don't have spend a fortune trying to mail it her

    I am doing the best I can with all that is going on. I just need people I deal with to know that. I have a long list of disabilities that I gave to Mallory, the social worker, to prove my point. I am doing the best I can each and every day. It isn't easy for me to accomplish anything. Everything and everyday is a battle against myself and my disabilities to get things done. How would you feel if people didn't take into consideration that you had a long list of disabilities and expected you to behave "normally?" I mean. I don't just hand out my list of disabilities to just anyone and for no reason. Considering what I face, I am doing well. I am trying to find solutions for my health problems. I am working with my health care teams to make progress. I can only do so much. I can only move so fast. I swear the world is fast-paced and I am in slow motion due to my disabilities. I can't keep up. There is just no way. People have to slow down for me, and have patience, compassion, and empathy. I have to educate people constantly. It's exhausting. 

    Caleb and I have been arguing, but I have been able to stand my ground because I was feeling better. I can't argue with him on days I don't feel well. I don't have the energy or the patience. I keep trying to explain to him that we have cooperate and work as a team. I keep telling him that we are family, I am his mother,  and there is no one who will fight for him as hard as I will. I repeat myself often. He needs that. I explain things to him that don't make sense to him, which would be common sense to someone else who is not Autisitic at his age. It can be exhausting, but I know he needs that because I needed it too. I need people to communicate with me so I understand what is going on. Granted, I am 41 years old now and have a lot of experience as an Autistic female that has gone undiagnosed and without resources my entire life. I don't want that for Caleb. I want him to have all the resources I can get to help him learn and be a successful adult eventually. I am working with his teachers who love Caleb. He is doing ok in school, and that's a big WIN! I am hoping he does not need to go to Summer school for all the absences he has had. I don't want to have to wake up early every morning this Summer. If he does, so be it. I guess I will do what I have to do to make it through. 

    I would like to do a post that focuses on what I experienced during the eclipse this month. I don't have the time to really sit here and detail what happened at the moment. I have to get Caleb ready for school. He never got up when I told him to get up. Now his normal alarm is about to go off and nothing has been done that needed to get done. I will have to do it on my own then. This sucks!

    Thank you for reading! Keep us in your prayers! Have a blessed day!