Yesterday

     I have been up since 3 something this morning. It is now 0511. Caleb is already awake. He took his meds. I am waiting to take mine. Yesterday was a hard day for me. I could not get the house cleaning done that I wanted. I was sore all over and tired beyond reason. I did not sleep well the night before last, but normally I can still get things done. I could not even get the laundry going. I was able to get the paperwork notarized that I needed, and the paperwork mailed that I needed to get mailed out. I wanted cookies, so I went to Food Lion and got some junk food. I was able to fill the dishwasher and run it. I was in such bad shape that I could eat a dinner. I had a slice of keto bread to be able to take my night medications. It was just a hard day for me. Caleb stayed home yesterday because he was told that the last day of school was optional. He took the kitchen trash out, and brought the groceries in. He got the mail for me. He let me rest as I needed. I spent alot of yesterday in bed. 

    I am hoping for a better day today. I need to clean my house. I still have laundry to clean, and dishes too. I have so much trash in here. Caleb doesn't put his trash in the trash can. Instead he throws it on the floor. It's a bad habit that I have to break him of. It was sunny and warm yesterday. It was a beautiful day. The guys were working on the new house building yesterday. They put down the cement for the foundation. It was loud! I was ok though. 

    Caleb has to mow the lawn this morning. I don't know if he can since he did not charge the batteries for the lawn mower. I have alot of laundry to put away. I have to help Caleb clean his room. I need to steam clean the carpet. Ugh! So much work to do!

    Summer break has officially started today. I have an appointment with my new therapist this morning. Caleb has an appointment with his therapist this afternoon. I am planning to cook a pork butt roast in the crockpot today. 

    I am trying a new menopause supplement to help me with my hot flashes and night sweats. I hope it works. I started taking it yesterday. I think it is too soon to tell. I am taking a new multivitamin too. I started taking it yesterday as well. 

    I have food in the house, and I am trying to relax my chronic fear of not having enough food. I have classes that I purchased that can help me with my eating habits, fear, anxiety, and trauma. I just need to start watching the videos to get the help I need. I need to be able to sit still long enough and be awake long enough to do them. I have so much other stuff going on right now that I just can't seem to manage to give myself the time I need to do these things. I need to give myself Reiki every morning too. I need to create better habits. The whole point of becoming a Reiki Master was to be able to perform Reiki on myself as needed. It just happens that I need it alot, and often don't think about it. It doesn't cross my mind when I need it the most. I have to reprogram my thinking so that I use the tools I have as I need them. The problem is my memory. My memory is bad. I don't remember alot of things that are not hard-wired into my routines. So... I have to create new routines to incorporate my Reiki practice into a daily practice. 

    I use hape' daily. It helps me. I cleaned out my kuripe' yesterday and man does that make a huge difference in how hard I have to blow! I used a skewer to clean it out. Worked well. 

    I use kratomade daily for my pain so I can work. The new medication does help, but I still need kratomade.

    I am not using the delta-8 as much. I just got a new shipment of delts-9 gummies. Caleb was not happy about it. I won't be making the same mistake twice.

    I got paid yesterday, but as soon as I get paid, I pay my bills. My bills take all my money to pay. I have nothing left, not even for groceries or gas. This is the reality of a person living on disability. I can't work. I was hoping to get my business going to be able to bring in some money to pay for food and gas. I am missing 2 reviews to get my heal.me account listed in the search. Right now, my heal.me account is not considered verified. That is where my problem lies. I plan on getting a volunteer or something to have a Reiki session with me and write a review of their experience. 

    I just want to get my life on track. I want to get my house clean, get DSS and CPS out of our lives, and run my business successfully. I want to read my books too. I have a library of books that I want to read in my house. There's so much I want to learn. There's so much I want to know. I just need to add it to my daily routine so I can make progress. 

    I had my Virta intake appointment yesterday. I spoke with my coach about what comes next. I am restarting the Virta diet in a few days. I have to take my glucose twice a day, ketones once a day, and blood pressure three times a week. I also take my weight daily. I had a junk food day yesterday, so I feel like it won't be hard to get my diet back on track. I need new recipes that Virta-friendly aka keto-friendly. I need new meals to prepare that are easy to make and affordable.

    It's time to groom Bella. I have to schedule an appointment with her vet to get her nails trimmed again. I don't know that I have enough money. I need to brush her really good because she is shedding her winter coat for the summer. 

    I have to figure out what I think I can do today. I need to focus on the laundry, the kitchen, and Caleb's room first. That's already alot of stuff to do. Hopefully I will have Caleb to help me through it all.

    I received my amazon order of a rashguard! And it fits! I am so big right now, I didn't think I could find a rashguard in my size. I am so happy because that will protect me from the sun at the beach. It means I am one step closer to taking Caleb to the beach! We live so close to the beach that it really is such a shame to not be going all year long. 

    Well, it is now 0547, and I have to take my morning medications and do my morning routines that set me up for a day of working.

    Thank you for reading! Keep us in your prayers! Have a blessed day!