It's Wednesday morning and it's going well so far. Caleb is on the bus to school. It is now 0705. I forgot to take my Genius Mushrooms and CBD today, but it will be ok. I am doing hape' to get in the mood to clean this house today. Yesterday I took a shower and went to Lowe's Foods and Food Lion and did some grocery shopping. I tried to not buy alot. I bought zucchini, yellow squash, and mushrooms to cook with the chuck roast I already had in the fridge. I made that for dinner. It was good. Carla came over at 1400 and we had a bible study together with Tyrone and a friend of theirs. I stayed busy yesterday for sure.
Today I need to focus on the house cleaning. I will start with the laundry again. I will then vacuum the hallway and prep it to be steam cleaned. I will see how I feel after I complete that. When I went to lie down yesterday, everything hurt. I had pain everywhere. Fibromyalgia is no joke. All I did was grocery shopping, but that meant moving the groceries in and out of the Mazda by myself. It was heavy stuff too.
Today I woke up tired. I am feeling better now that I have had my meds and supplements and hape'. Hape' makes a difference to me.
It was chilly and sprinkling while we waited outside for the bus this morning. The flashlight we use is dying and needs to be recharged. I saw no sign of the sun coming up this morning like I have the past 2 days.
I paid the bills yesterday, and now only have enough money to put gas in the Mazda. I am trying not to freak out. I won't have more money until the 20th. I think I have enough food until then. I will not be able to put more gas in the Mazda later though. I think I might have money available on my credit cards. I will have to check that out this morning. I need to know if I have any assets available to help us get through this month.
I hear the birds outside. I hear the traffic going by. It is getting lighter, but still no sign of the sun. I am happy to see that my mortgage payment went through. I need at least 2 more reviews on heal.me to have my business profile complete and visible in the searches. I have a friend who is willing to have me do a Reiki session for her. Nana is willing to do a session too. I just need to schedule them both.
I haven't looked at my personal statement for my VA claim in awhile. I have been overwhelmed with work at home and the new schedule starts our day at 0530. We use to get up at 0700. It's a big shift. Now I am doing everything alone since Caleb is not here. It's alot quieter during the day without his computer, tv, and phone on in the background. Part of my depression was from empty nest syndrome. Part of it was from the lack on sunlight. Part of it was from grieving. Part of it was dealing with chronic body pains. I am trying everything in my power to figure out how to get around these pains. I have to be able to work around the house at a minimum. I have to prove to the VA that I cannot function right now. I need assistance.
I requested talk therapy through my psychiatrist at the VA. She is going to discuss it with her team. I am supposed to be using a light box. I have it here, but I am not sure it is plugged in. I will have to ask for Caleb's help when he gets home.
I don't know if I ever mentioned how hard it is for me to take a shower and get dressed. I managed to take a shower yesterday, and dress myself completely by myself. I was out of breath trying to get my compression tank top on. It took a long time for me to be able to pull it down over my breasts. It gets stuck on my shoulder blades and it makes it harder to pull down over me. I did it though. I usually have Caleb to pull it down in the back for me. It takes us less time when we work together, rather than I try to do it myself.
I have to schedule my showers, and I only take one a week. This is because of how it impacts my energy levels. I feel so done for the day after I take a shower. I just want to rest for the rest of the day. It was a big accomplishment to go out in the world yesterday and do anything. I actually did way more than I can usually do on a shower day. Once I take a shower, that's it for the day usually. I don't do anything else because I can't manage it. Also, I don't want to get dirty after I showered.
I use to be able to shower 2-3 times a day with no troubles. I can't anymore. I do manage to keep myself somewhat clean between showers with these tea tree oil wipes for face and body. I manage to keep my hair done usually too. I use a special hair grease that helps hair growth. I used it when I was in the Army and had to shower alot. It was damaging my hair, and I didn't like using gel or hairspray every time I had to do my hair.
I don't know if I will ever find a partner. I have been chatting with Nigel. I miss him. I wish he lived closer. We would probably get back together. We didn't have issues before I went to basic training. It was when I went to basic training and began calling my dad on Sundays when we were allowed to call for 10 minutes, instead of calling him. He wasn't giving me the support that my dad did. I needed to talk to my dad to get through what I was going through. He had a good idea of what I was going through because he went through basic training before. Nigel didn't. He had no clue how hard it was for me. I got injured with stress fractures in my hips and femur and was on crutches for 6 weeks. I needed to hear my dad, who was a Sergeant when he served, tell me how to keep my head up. Nigel told me to come home. I didn't want to give up though. He accused me of cheating on him. I wasn't cheating. I was calling my dad instead of him.
I'm so disabled these days. I have a long list of things wrong with me. I have another long list of medications that I am prescribed. I have an even longer list of supplements that I take to try to help me out. I need to practice Reiki daily. I have this new back stretch video set that I need to watch. I don't know if my dvd player works anymore though.
I need a new air fryer. The old one was recalled, so we got rid of it. I couldn't follow the instructions. Don't ask me why. I just couldn't. We ended up throwing the dangerous air fryer away. Caleb use to use it frequently. I would like to have it to cook some fish fillets.
Christinia's situation is looking up. We got my Volvo towed to a nearby auto shop to have the diagnostic work done to figure out what is keeping the car from staying on. She is getting help from a veteran organization near her. I might need to find out if they work over here too. I need help. She has been going through alot lately. I am so happy that she is getting the help she needs.
Rachel is looking good with her sweet grandson in their photos. I am so happy for her. I love babies.
My mom tried to send me money through Venmo but it went directly to the negative balance. I can't receive money in paypal or Venmo anymore. They both have large negative balances due the scammer I was dealing with. I thought I was going to make easy money, but I got scammed in the process.
I wish I could get my business up and running. I would love to help people with my training. The whole point was to help myself and then help others. I have to refresh my Revelation Breathwork training and Vocal Resonance Training. My memory is bad so I need to refresh frequently because I am not currently using those modalities on myself like I want to.
It looks alot lighter outside, but still no sunlight.
I still haven't done the rest of my morning routines. I still need to wash my face and brush my hair. I guess I should get going on that. I still have house work to do. It's not going to get done by itself, that's for sure!
Thank you for reading, and have a blessed day!
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