Thursday, February 4, 2021

5 Year Journal Day 251

      Today's prompt is "What's the newest thing you are wearing today?" I am wearing a shirt I bought for Sharon that she never wore.

     It is now 2:48 a.m. here. I got up to make myself a water drink. Caleb woke up. Bella is laying in my bed. We have to get up at 6:00 a.m. this morning, so I hope I don't stay up too late. Yesterday was an awkward day. I could not myself to get up and do work. I was glued to my phone screen. I did eventually get up and start a load of laundry. I made Bella's steamed veggies, but I ended up burning the inside of the ceramic lined pot that I was using. It smelled so bad! I did not even realize that I had burned it, until it was too late. I have to throw that pot away, which sucks. Now I will have to buy another pot. Caleb wanted steamed sweet potato and carrots too. I made taco fajitas for dinner.  

     I really did not do much of anything all day. I just couldn't get away from my phone and did not want to get out of my chair. It was cold all day, and I did not want to turn the heat on. I was just chillin in my ruana wrap. 

     I got alot of work done yesterday morning before I got up for the day. 

     Yesterday I got the escrow projection statement from my mortgage company. I was so relieved to find out that my mortgage payment is not increasing this year. So relieved! OMG. The stress this time of year puts on me, between the escrow statement and tax returns. 

     I could really use that stimulus payment right now. I wish I could deposit this check, but I don't know how to undo my tax return and tell the IRS that I got the check. I don't want to create problems, so I will just have to wait. I still have not gotten my Pandemic EBT deposit, so I do not feel so bad about buying groceries on my credit card. I mean, I was feeling guilty like I should have just waited for the deposit, but I have no idea when the deposit will come! Shit! If I had not bought groceries, Caleb would have no bread to eat... I would not have had vegetables to make last night's dinner with. I had to do what I had to do. I hope I don't have to continue to live this way, now that I have made the final payment to that series of payments I owed. I will be paying off a store credit card this month. It is the card I used to buy my bed. The final payment is due mid-month. 

     I have projected that the next card to be paid off is another store credit card that I used to buy my household goods. I bought my carpet cleaner with it, and also my medication chest of drawers. It will be paid off this summer. 

     I was curious after a conversation with my Aunt Lisa, how much it might cost to move to New Jersey, so I googled moving companies for quotes. The company I spoke with gave me a quote of $4532.00 After chatting with Aunt Lisa I decided to look my house up on Zillow. The Zestimate for my house is $251, 514.00. I know, right. I couldn't believe it either. I don't think it is accurate. It was just 2019 when I had a VA appraisal done, and it was much less than that. I started looking around for houses close to Aunt Lisa too. It's a bit overwhelming, and I need to slow down. My anxiety is getting the best of e just thinking about all that is involved in moving. I hate moving with a passion. I wanted to plant roots somewhere and never move again, but it gets so hot here during the summer, and I have so much work to do on this house. If I could buy a new house, or a newer house with no problems, that would be a huge improvement, and I would have less to worry about. 

     I am just getting an idea of the possibilities. I don't know what I will end up doing. Having to get re-established in a VA clinic is not my idea of fun. Getting Medicaid and Food Stamps in another state is not my idea of fun either. I mean I just have so much established here. I don't ever want to have to go through that again. It's hard work! 

     Billy called me to ask me to get a uhaul for him. I told him that I couldn't because I don't have any money. He managed to get a uhaul with his own credit card. I will be driving it at least one time. I have to go pick him and Robin up at 8:00 this morning. That is why I have to get up at 6:00. We have to leave at 7:00. I have a morning routine I have to do before I can leave the house. I have to eat a breakfast and take my medications. I have to make my water drink and give Caleb his medications. I have to let Bella outside and make sure she has water. 

     I am relived to have President Biden in office. My days are not so filled with anxiety. Trump was bad for me. 

     I have not been reading my books. I really want to read them but feel the pull to work on the house and do chores. Damn! Today is already Thursday! I'm losing track of time. I fell behind because of helping Billy and also because of getting sick. I feel like I lost alot of time, but I only took Wednesday off. Today, I will be busy during the morning, but I will come home after getting the truck to Billy's house next door. I will be home for most of the day. I do not know if I will have any energy to get anything done. I might just have to go back to bed. I don't know yet. 

      Caleb has quieted down and hopefully gone back to sleep. I took my iron pill and orange juice when I got up earlier, so that is already done. I guess I could go back to bed. I will take my book to bed with me, and see if I can get through a chapter or so. 

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