Tuesday, February 16, 2021

5 Year Journal Day 260

     Today's prompt is " What would you want to study at school?" Quantum healing.

     It is now 1:00 a.m. and we are in the middle of a thunder storm. I could not sleep because I was falling off the bed. Bella was on top of me and pushing against me. Caleb was sleeping soundly on the bed too. We just got through a tornado warning. I just saw lightning outside of the window. Thunder is really loud over the house. Bella gets nervous during thunder storms. 

     Yesterday I felt terrible after I dropped Caleb off at Alisa's. I was just soo tired and in pain. I went to take a nap after trying to watch the rest of the Marci Lock video, and just not being able to. I have been munching on food practically all day. I do not know why. This is not how I have been over the last few weeks. I have not been hungry. Yesterday, though, I could not get enough. 

     I went to pick Caleb up after a few hours. I could not rest the same knowing I had to get up to go get him. We went and put gas in the car, and came home. It was gray all day. I felt like shit. My body just hurt everywhere. Now, I see why. The thunderstorm was coming. 

     I got nothing done yesterday. I could not concentrate. I could not focus. i could not keep my eyes open. I was just needing to spend the day in bed. 

     Today, I have an appointment with Dr. Karels, the VA pharmacist who specializes in diabetes. I am sure she will be increasing my medication once again. My blood sugar has still been around 240 in the mornings, which is still high. 

     Other than that, I don't have much going on. That is the only appointment we have today. I hope I feel better so I can get some work done. I do not want to spend another in bed, but I will if I have to. I get to a point where it isn't worth the pain to be up and moving, and go and retreat to bed. It does not happen as often as it use to, but it does still happen. 

     Yesterday, I took a shower and was feeling pretty good being all nice and clean. I almost couldn't find underwear to wear. I need to wash laundry badly. I am using the Lume body deodorant, but I am finding that it is not an anti-perspirant. I need an anti-perspirant, not just a deodorant. I do not want to continue to sweat in my nether regions , creases, and folds. 

     I started using neosporin inside my right nostril. That is the side that bleeds and crusts over in big chunks, forcing me to pick at it to be able to breathe. Now, it is not in big chunks and I can breathe ok. It's been a long winter of dealing with that nostril. I have been sneezing and blowing my nose all winter. I have had post nasal drip and coughs of phlegm. It has been non-stop. Itchy, dry eyes too. 

     I finally changed the pieces to my CPAP last week. I really needed a new mask. No wonder I could not keep a seal. 

     I have not changed out my diabetic shoes for the new ones yet. 

     Seems like the worst of the storm is over. Caleb never even woke up. He must be really tired. The thunder was loud. Bella followed me out of the bed. She gets scared of the loud noises.

     So, some of the things Marci Lock said are that we have infinite abundance around us, and everyone can win. All we need to do is open up to the divine energy and receive what is waiting for us. Now, her retreat was 5.5 hours long, so obviously she says more than that. She also says the energy we put out into the universe, is the energy we will receive. If we are putting out guilt, shame, blame, or other negative energies, that is what we will receive. If we are putting out love, joy, gratitude, or other positive energies, that is what we will receive. Our energy cycles from us, and back to us. She is able to discern energies and light codes and portals and other things. She is able to channel, and receive downloads from the divine sources. She is trying to reach as many lightworkers as possible. 

     One of the things I got from the retreat was the correlation between manifestation and listening to one's heart. Another thing was to let go of everything that is not serving me. Let go of everything that is not of my greatest good. She mentions Isis, and other divine feminine energies. She mentions kundalini, shakti, and shiva. She talks about not comparing ourselves to others because we could never be someone else. We are each a unique individual. She talks about being in the present, not in the past, or in the future. Everything we want, we can have right now. We are love. Angels support us and want us to upgrade our existence into the 5D and beyond. She mentions ascended masters. 

     In any case, it's alot to take in. It's amazing to hear all of this from one person. I have been putting these things together since my early 20's in about 2003. I have a library bringing these ideas together. To hear what I believe coming out of someone else's mouth free from my input is simply amazing. 

     Anyway, I am ready to take my iron pill and orange juice and go lay down again. I am thirsty and have run out of water. 

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