I slept well and thank God for that! It is now 0818. I woke up to my 0700 alarm. I have been talking to my dad and taking my medications. Yesterday was a long day. It was a Monday of Mondays, let me tell you. I was supposed to have an appointment at 0900 on a video call with my therapist, but I got a call that the appointment was cancelled. I was relieved because I really needed to take a shower, and was trying to fit it in my schedule. I had a second appointment which I believed was at 1130, but it wasn't. It was at 1100, so I missed the video call with VocRehab. My third appointment was with Dr. McGarrity, the endocrinologist, in Wilmington. I was not looking forward to that appointment because he fat shamed me at the last appointment I had. At least I was able to take a long hot shower before 1130, and was ready to drive to Wilmington. I took the drive time to infuse my spirit with Imagine Dragons music. I listened to their new album the entire way to Wilmington. We got there a little early, and Caleb came inside with me because it was too hot to wait in the Mazda. The doctor was running late, and we did not leave the office until after 1530, when the appointment was scheduled for 1430, and just to review my medications and recent labs. I did not enjoy my time with the doctor. He is just an asshole. I can't wait to never see him again. As a matter of fact I am making it my goal to not be diabetic anymore by the next time I have labs due, in 4 months. My last appointment was at 1900 and was a class called "Unleash Your Life" with Coach Brandi and Coach Nick. I was tired, did not have dinner before class, and had a killer headache during class. When we got back home from Wilmington it was already 1700. That's normally when I make dinner. I was too tired, and having body pains. I went to lay down until class started. I just wanted to rest.
I enjoyed the 2 hour long class, but I was ready for bed when we ended. Today I have to drive to Wilmington again, this time to go to the neurologist at the VA clinic. I don't have other appointments today, thank God! I have so much on my list of things to do, it's not even funny. My time is running out to get things done before my class starts on August 8th. I am starting to doubt whether or not this is a good idea, for me to go back to school when I already have so much on my plate. If I don't do it now, it will never get done. I was led to this mission by a higher source. I should continue the mission.
I have been doing "meaningful" Reiki self-sessions every morning now. It really does help me set the stage for the day. I meditate and it helps to focus my thoughts on what's important to me. I have not done all my morning routines this morning yet. I am still working on them.
Sunday we went and ran errands. I was exhausted after that, and could not do anything more after that. I had a text messaged conversation with my mom about my health. So I got some needed information about what my future might look like based on her experience, and genetics.
I haven't figured out how to fill the "holes" in my schedule today. I am feeling better today. I have to look at my list. Tomorrow I am scheduled for the non-VA psych evaluation. I am going to go through with it because I never got the report from VA. I also have more questions that I need answered. So there is more testing that needs to be done than what was done at the VA. For example, do I have OCD? Do I have ADD? What other diagnoses am I missing because I have never been tested?
I am learning to run ads on Facebook and instagram. I am getting better at it. I have 40-something page followers on facebook already! Most are people I don't know, which says alot about the people I do know.
I just have my doubts about the Master's degree program because I have really bad days where I feel unfit to do much of anything but stay in bed. Everything hurts! I just wonder if I am going to be able to do this. I have to meet deadlines and write papers. I have to homeschool Caleb, pay the bills, and get chores done too. I just... I don't know. I have my doubts. I know it's worth trying. I know the benefits outweigh the risks. It's so expensive to go to school. I want to earn my phD too. I'm just trying to figure it all out. How do I manage this? I am constantly "running behind" in my life. With all these appointments, I can be out of the house all week! Ugh. I can't wait until I am healthy enough to not need so many doctor appointments.
I completed the editing phase of "Clinging to the Vine" and "Return to Me". Next on the list is to write "#BeastMode". I may not do the other 2 projects because there is a cost associated with participating in them, and I am not making money yet. Also, I have been feeling like the right thing for me to do is to write my own book. I am going to enlist Sheila Farr's help in the process once I choose to settle into the project.
I have to write up Caleb's lesson plan for the upcoming season. I want to have enough planned out that we mostly stay on track and are able to make progress where we need to. He is behind by alot. His test scores show a comprehension at a third grade level. He needs alot of help, and I hope to be able to help him. I want the best for him. He can be so stubborn and argumentative. I want him to know that I come from a place of love as his mother. I am not here to make his life hard. I am here to show him how to make his life easier, more relaxing, more enjoyable, and more peaceful.
I graduate from the Reiki Master class soon too. Caleb will be my first student once I am certified to teach. I graduate from the "Ignite Your Light" program soon too.
I have not started my physical therapy exercises at home yet, but I need to. I also bought the Yoga-go app on my phone to be able to follow a professional in different routines. I thought I could a routine for people who need restorative Yoga, but I have not come across one yet. I would like to begin walking on the incline trainer again too. I just need to walk a little bit every day so I don't get so stiff from sitting in this gaming chair all day. I really just don't move alot without a routine to make me move. I need to develop my own routine that helps me move without pain that I enjoy doing on a daily basis.
I am going to shift gears and finish my morning routines. Be blessed my readers!
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