Saturday, July 30, 2022

New Start Day 8

        I read a few pages from "My Pocket Meditations For Self-Compassion", by Courtney E. Ackerman. It is now 0628. I have been awake since about 0200. I took my medications right away for some reason. I was feeling like I would be awake for a long time, and I was right. I then checked my emails and facebook notifications. I got an email for a discounted course with Natura Institute, and I wanted to take advantage of the huge savings. I enrolled in the course, but I had already enrolled in another course a few years ago. I was awarded a full scholarship for the Holistic Health and Wellness and Holistic Weight Loss Coach Dual Certification. I decided to start the program again. I started at that time, and then got sidetracked with other things happening in my life. I have lifetime access to the courses, so today was a good day to restart! There are 83 lessons within this dual certification course and I completed more than 20 just this morning.

    I had to buy a new printer because there is something wrong with the one I have. I'm not too happy about that, but at least it will be here before I start my classes at Capella University. 

    I am sitting in my new office chair that supports up to 400lbs. I love it already! I hated that gaming chair. It apparently did not support my weight and I was sitting in it while it was broken. It was causing me all kinds of back pains. 

    Yesterday I woke up around 0430. I did my morning routines. I wrote a different draft of the chapter for "#BeastMode." I paid the bills. I called my dad to see what he planned to do for the day. I prewashed dishes and loaded the dishwasher , and handwashed as many dishes as I could fit in the dish strainer. I got the laundry started. I directed Caleb on what to focus his energy on. He is trying to get his chores done so he can go to a friend's house. He has to clean his room, and instead of cleaning his room, he has been on his phone with his friend and playing video games with him at the same time. 

    I put away the new bath towels that have been sitting in an open box for weeks now. I had Caleb tidy up the countertops and island for me, so I would not have to work so hard. Caleb also began breaking down boxes that we collected over the last few days. I took Caleb to get his hair cut, and we also went to Lowe's Foods so I could make myself a salad for lunch. Caleb got a really short buzz-cut. You should have seen the clumps of hair falling away from his head!

    I did not feel like doing much once we returned home. I went to take a nap. When I got up, I could not make myself do anymore work. I had Caleb move the laundry from the washer to the dryer for me, and then watch it throughout the afternoon to make sure it was getting dry. I was just worn out, and my nap was too short considering what time I woke up and began working.

    I found a photographer to do my headshots and branding photos nearby. We are scheduled to do a photo shoot this Sunday morning. I can't wait to see the photos! I need them for my bio in the books I am writing in.

    I spoke with Coach Brandi over the phone for a few minutes. Just asking that she give me notice for journal prompts and questions before class so I can think about it in peace. Otherwise I am getting anxiety and not able to think on the spot.

    I have been writing posts on the group page for "Unleash Your Life" about my Autistic traits in order to be better understood. I do not know if I helped myself by advocating for myself, but I feel like it was something I needed to do. 

    I was so tired that I did not even grill a steak. I had sliced turkey breast lunchmeat and guacamole for dinner. It was so hot outside, and the house begins to get warmer throughout the day. I hate it. I can't wait for the cooler temperatures.

    Yesterday was Friday, so on Thursday I finally decided to put away my new clothes. Before I did that, I wanted to clear my room of all the clothes that are now too big for me. I had about 7 full garbage bags of clothes, with alot of them having never been worn and stay having tags on them. I hung up all my new smaller sized clothes that were sitting in boxes, bags, and laundry baskets. My room is clearer than it was prior to doing that, which makes it so worth it to have spent the time to do it.

    Yesterday Caleb went into the room Christinia was staying in because he noticed that the window was open from outside. He went into the room to close the window. He found the leftover Bojangles box that Christinia left behind. I have only been in that room once since she left. I don't know if she will ever be able to retrieve the rest of her stuff, and am wondering what to do with it because I need the room to set up my work/study space.   

    Thursday I had a talk to Caleb. I say to Caleb, because it was not a conversation between us. It was me only talking. I let him know that he stresses me out. I am more likely to have a heart attack when he is constantly arguing with me over simple stuff. I can't sleep because I can't relax. I can't relax because I am stressed out. I am stressed out because I have tons of work to do with deadlines to do them and Caleb should help me, but is causing problems instead. If I ask him to do something, the automatic answer is "No." It's driving me crazy! I told him that I need his help to manage the household. He is responsible for cleaning his room by himself. He lives here, and should care about the upkeep of our house. I said plenty more, and I remained calm the entire time. He sat in a chair at the dining table with me, and appeared to be listening. 

    Today is Saturday. i need to take a shower and prepare my hair for tomorrow's photo shoot. Having thick, curly hair means I need more time to let it dry properly. I also have to use products to keep it from frizzing. It's a process that I am learning to do with the new curly hair products I bought. I also need to figure out the way I want to wear my makeup for tomorrow. I want to go ahead and try on a few outfits to see what looks best. I want to look and feel my best for this photo shoot! 

    I still have laundry in the dryer. I know Caleb is hiding dirty laundry in his room. He needs to clean out his room today. I have more work to do in the kitchen. I have to clean the rest of the pots and pans, countertops, stovetop, and island. If I have energy I will even sweep and mop the floor. Caleb will have to unload the dishwasher, and take out the kitchen trash. I want to be able to go through the storage boxes of stuff I pulled out of the china cabinet some weeks ago and get rid of whatever I am not going to use. I need to organize my living room so there is enough space for Caleb and I do to our Yoga in the morning together.  

    Tomorrow I will likely focus on clearing spaces in my room. Caleb dumped out two containers of my stuff while he was looking for something he dropped, and he never picked my stuff up and put it back where it belonged. So frustrating, this kid. 

    On Monday I have a therapy session online. I have to take Bubba to the vet to get weighed and get refills of his heart worm and flea and tick medications. I also have a call with Disability Services from Capella University on Monday regarding my need for printed materials for all my courses there, instead of e-books. My disability is with my memory retention. I am getting a formal letter from Ms. Wells, my speech therapist at the VA. Then Monday night I have the standing appointment with Coach Brandi, Coach Nick, and the class for "Unleash Your Life." 

    Tuesday I don't have appointments, but Wednesday I have to go to the Wilmington VA clinic to see the GI doctor for my problems with my digestive system and bowel movements.That's all I have for this coming up week as far as appointments until Sunday when I have a whole day of Reiki Master Class.

    I posted that I was donating all my size 5X and 4X clothing on facebook, and Erica messaged me that she knew someone in need that could use the clothes. She came over yesterday and I saw her for the first time since we graduated from Peer Helper training some years ago. It was good to see her, and I got 2 big hugs while she was here!  I also sent her with all the canned foods that I intended to hand out to the random homeless people standing on street corners in Wilmington. That was a good feeling!

    Last Wednesday I had my last appointment with Ms. Wells, speech therapist at the Wilmington VA clinic. I had the appointment on my phone by secure video call in the parking lot of the appointment I scheduled immediately after that one. The next appointment was with the psychologist that Caleb saw for his psychological evaluation. I felt comfortable with him with Caleb, and again when I was in his office. We went over a whole bunch of questions to prepare for the second appointment I have with him which includes the formal psychological testing. I have the testing appointment on Thursday, August 11th. I have not heard anything from Ms. Conchar at the Wilmington VA about my psychological testing and diagnoses results yet. I don't know why, but she has not been in the office for a week now. Maybe she caught Covid-19? I don't know, but I was told that I would have results in 2 weeks, and I still don't have them and we are going on week 4. Frustrating!

    Bubba is growing. He is going to be a big boy. I had to buy him different sizes of collars and harnesses for the future because he is growing so fast! I bought a second crate for Bella or Bubba, whoever is bigger at the time of need. 

    Jonathan came over and mowed the lawn for us and removed our boxes we had collecting on the front porch as well as the broken vacuum cleaner. Thank God for him and his truck! I am hoping we will catch Chris, our new neighbor, sometime soon to be able to put together the lawn mower, weed-eater, and chainsaw. 

    I have to put together a game plan for the upcoming month. August is going to be trying. Both Caleb and I will have school. I am teaching Caleb during the day and taking classes during the end of the day. I will still have all these appointments, chores, and projects. I don't know how I am going to manage this all, but I have to make it happen. I am determined to get it right. 

    I am trying to find ways to reduce my student loan needs, but I haven't been awarded any scholarships yet. I have only 2 paperback copies of "Let Go or Be Dragged". I sold one to my Aunt Lisa, and one to my Granny. I have completed the editing of my chapters in "Clinging to the Vine", and "Return to Me" anthologies. I just wrote my chapter for "#BeastMode" yesterday, so I am waiting for suggestions and editing. I haven't decided if I should keep doing anthologies. I think I have done enough of them and need to write my own book. 

    I bought some new books from Amazon about the 12 chakra system. I bought myself red roses from Harris Teeter the other day because they were on sale and pretty. 

    I need to stop vaping. I am going to try to refuse to use it when I want it. I started using the Alpha-Stim the other day and it really helped me with my stress levels, anxiety, and pain. It helped me fall asleep and sleep like I haven't been in years. I am going to use it everyday for one hour and monitor the changes to my symptoms in the app they created. I know I will be able to stop vaping once I get control of my anxiety and stress levels. 

    I have been summoned on facebook messenger. Be blessed my readers!

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