Yesterday I got paid and so I paid the bills, like usual. I also managed to take a shower and change into some clean clothes. Carly came over to help clean the house. I asked her to start in the laundry room and to help me get the laundry going. I was planning on cleaning the kitchen, but I never even started. I ordered Domino's pizza for lunch/dinner knowing that if I cleaned the kitchen, I would not want to cook and make more messes.
Carly got here around 10 am and left around 2:30 pm. She will be back today too.
I figured that I have had a stomach virus since Saturday causing my diarrhea. It's painful because of all the gas that is passing through is coming out violently and loud. I could not do work with the all the back and forth to the bathroom I was doing. I needed a break each time I visited the bathroom to recover. It was exhausting.
We got some Chewy boxes delivered yesterday. The training collar I bought for Bubb was inside one of the boxes. In another box was his calming treats. Caleb tried both on him yesterday. He was responsive to the collar. I'm not sure how much the calming supplement helped. It may take time to get into his system.
I spoke to my mom a couple times yesterday. I chatted with Sherri on Facebook messenger last night too. I agreed to make plans to go over there and visit them in the New Year once things calmed down.
I emailed the guys at the bank I am refinancing with to find out if there was any way they could write a contract to include the work that needs to be done rolled into the cash out, since I do not have any cash available to pay for services needed to close. It looks like that could be a real game changer for me, and it might actually work! I need the laundry room ceiling repaired, the half-bathroom ceiling repaired, and the kitchen ceiling repaired from the popcorn ceiling that is falling apart. I need the laundry room floor replaced. I have at least 2 bedroom doors that need to be replaced. The door frames have to be painted again. There are places on the outside of the house that need to be painted again. I have that giant hole in the hallway wall from where Caleb had a fit and kicked it in. I have a few smaller places in the guest room that need to be fixed. Caleb needs to replace the central air conditioner's filter and vent. Some of the electrical outlets are missing faces as well as some of the light switch plates. So, it's a lot of work that I can't do myself.
I finally got the ring security plan this morning. I was on a trial basis for 30 days.
Christinia and I had a short conversation yesterday that didn't sit well with me. I feel like I'm only her friend when she needs something like money to pay her phone bill, and all other times it's like I should just go fuck myself. So, I'm done. I am not going to message her from now on. When she needs her phone bill paid again, it won't be paid by me. She never even said anything about the Christmas presents I mailed her. I was so excited for her to open the damned things. Fuck it! I won't waste my time, energy, or money in the future. Here I am, my dad died who I spoke to multiple times a day and multiple times a night, and she can't see that I need a friend to chat with now that I have no one. I need healthy friends. She is not one of them.
I have fallen behind in my classes. I have to make up for classes missed in my Reiki Masters Next Steps training, the Revelation Breathwork Facilitator training, and the Prosperous Healer seminars. I also have more training coming up to confront my C-PTSD and trauma this year. I have an 800Hr Yoga Therapy class that I paid for too. I will not be returning to Capella for the Master's Degree program I was taking. It causes me too much stress and takes all of my time to do the work. I am still doing the mentorship with Jana Carrey and will decide our future together in January 2023.
I have not made my first sale in my Reiki business yet. I think I need to be more present with that and make some videos to explain what a distance healing session is and why it works.
I am trying to get focused on what I need to do right now to catch up on the things I am currently in because new things are coming up.
I am still focused on the refinance process and all the work that is going to take. I am still focused on what I need to do to create dad's estate in order to handle his accounts for him. I am waiting for his death certificates so I can apply to the VA for death benefits, and also to Social Security too.
I have titrated down from 6mg nicotine in my e-cigarette to 3mg nicotine. I think I am on my last bottle of e-juice.
I obviously have not been on my diet lately. I will return to keto after New Year's Day. New Year's Eve is Caleb's birthday! He already got his bike for his birthday present. He wants a German chocolate cake for his birthday.
I can't wait for my house to be clean and organized the way I want it. The shed needs to be organized so we can move things from the living room to the shed. I really want to start walking again on my incline trainer. I need to see if I have the diabetic walking shoes in my closet with the custom insoles and lift.
It is now 0535. I have been awake for a couple of hours now at least. I am so disconnected from everything I had going on before my dad died. It is going to be hard to get back on track. I am making an effort to take one day at a time. I was hoping to teach Reiki level 1 to 5 people in person before the deadline. I don't remember when the deadline is, so I better figure it out and get moving on that.
I also have to make time to figure out how we are going to do Caleb's classes. I bought a new curriculum for him that allows him to learn through a computer program online. It is hosted by IXL and includes math, language arts, science, history, and Spanish classes. I want to sit down with him to get him tested first to place him the classes he needs at the current level he is at. I need things to settle down. There is just so much going on at one time. Once I can get plans on paper, I should be ok. This is my starting point. This journal is helping me get my thoughts down so I can refer to what I should be trying to work on in the near future, and not lose sight what is coming up.
Dona Sharon is having a hard time without my dad too. I hope her being here is better than her being at the Motel 6. If nothing else, at least she is not surrounded by bugs.
I have to find out who did my bathroom ceiling. I forgot the company's name, but they did a good job before and I trust them to do a good job again. I have to check my records for the company's name.
I guess I need to print this out to reference later in the day. I am not always this sharp about what's going on. There is just too much to remember.
Have a blessed day, and thank you for reading!
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