I've got a busy day planned. I'm going to start with taking my meds and supplements. Then I have to let them settle before I do anything else. I don't usually need breakfast in the morning because I'm a midnight snacker. I would normally be going over my day with my dad right now. I would call him and he would ask "What time is it? Why are you up so early?" LOL Every single time.
Deep breath. Sitting here with my emotions for a minute. I don't want them trapped in my body.
Ashley is coming over to clean for me. I need to take a shower. On days I take a shower, I don't get much else done. It drains the life out of me, which is why I can't take showers daily anymore. I've got laundry to do and dishes to wash. I want to make my chuck roast beef with vegetables in the crockpot today.
Large chuck roast beef
Several cans of fire roasted tomatoes
Several sliced zucchini
Several sliced yellow squash
Several diced chunky sweet onions
Maybe several types of mushrooms sliced
minced garlic to taste
garlic salt
onion powder
Italian seasoning
maybe extra basil
on high setting of crockpot for a minimum of 4 hours.
I've got to take better care of myself so I'm not going to push myself hard to rush through the tasks I want to accomplish. I will likely put on the radio while cleaning and sing my heart out. It's helpful for me to express myself. My Autistic traits often get in the way of me healing. So do my other mental health conditions. I'm aware though and I am watching myself, Caleb, and Dona Sharon. I've already asked our (Caleb and mine) mental health providers for support. I'm going to ask for grieving counseling for Caleb and me to do as a family. If Dona Sharon is here, she is welcome too. I asked Dona Sharon to contact her doctor for needed support.
Right now she is living where my dad died. They were together for 27 years. I know it's hard for her to be there alone. I have extended an offer to stay with us as soon as she can pack and drive here. She is not alone in this. I was close with my dad in his final days.
I'm ready to start my day. Keep us in your prayers.
1 day ago
Sharing again for those who missed it.
22 hours ago
I got my shower!
I’ve got dinner in the crockpot cooking in time for dinner. I need a nap, but my room is being cleaned. I’m exhausted. I spent time this morning looking through my dad’s contacts, messages, and emails trying to let people know about his passing. I found his death prayer to Dona Sharon from last year. It’s heartbreaking that he thought no one loved him. That was a year ago and since before then I’ve been in his life and supporting him in the way that I could. He did not die being unloved. He fought to stay alive. People with the heart surgery he had don’t have a long life expectancy to begin with. He has been in the emergency room more times than I can count. He fought hard to stay around. He wanted Caleb to go in the Army. I know he would have gone to his graduation.
Caleb’s birthday bike came yesterday. It’s a Schwinn. Nice. He was happy. He had no idea I was getting him a bike. I was able to get it on sale and discounted more after that. Bikes are expensive these days!
I’m happy to be able to wear a light sweater today. Normally I’m very hot, but it’s cold in here today.
I gave lots of love to both Bella and Bubba this morning.
Dr.Hueholt called today. I was just happy she called. I don’t feel the need for more medication anymore. She couldn’t give me any anyway because I’m on the highest dose of anti-depressants as it is. She was very supportive to talk to.
I called the Oceanview United Methodist church. It’s where I use to go before Covid-19. I spoke with Pastor Rick and requested grieving counseling for my family. He seemed reluctant to help. Maybe because he hasn’t seen me in so long. He is supposed to come over today to say a prayer.
Ashley is cleaning up the wreck in my room. She’s is doing an excellent job.
Caleb was working on putting his bike together earlier this morning. The package was missing the bike pedals, so I want to go to the bike store across town and get some for him.
We are carrying the light and shining as brightly as we can through this time.
Christinia keeps me laughing.
We are going to be ok.
18 hours ago
Top of the chuck roast
17 hours ago
Ready to eat.
16 hours ago
I'm in physical pain today. I'm going to take my medications and supplements and hope they help. I woke up several times in the night because Caleb couldn't sleep and because I kept eating and drinking water.
I'm going to have to be good to myself today and not push myself hard. I have help coming to finish cleaning the house. I put in a request for a plumber yesterday to fix both toilets. One runs and the other doesn't want to drain.
I cooked yesterday, so I don't need to cook today. I need to take Caleb to buy food he can cook for himself. He doesn't like my healthy meals. He's a carbohydrate addict.
I planned on quitting vaping, but then my dad died. I am not stocking up on supplies, but I did run to the store for e-juice to get me through this hard time.
I am more motivated to get healthy now. I am already losing weight again and my ketones are rising. I need a minimum of 0.5 reading of ketones, and I am at 0.4.
Believing that spirit lives forever is keeping me ok. I know my dad is with me. Being on the highest dose of mental health medications is helping a lot too. I suffer depression and anxiety on a good day.
I want to create a shadow box for my dad. I have his DD214 so I will start with that.
We received the Brazilian chocolates I ordered for Caleb and my dad for Christmas yesterday. That hurt.
Bobaloofas dad.
1 hour ago
Morning medications and supplements are ready
1 hour ago
It's as accurate as I could manage this morning.
26 minutes ago
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