Last night my father died. He started the day off good, feeling better after catching some sort of illness. He began to clean up his room and take the trash out. He went out with his friends for something to eat. He returned before I had my appointment with Jana Carrey. I messaged Dona Sharon that I had an appointment until 1845, but I would call my dad afterward. I received multiple calls at 1917. I was on a facebook messenger video call with Christinia so I did not answer right away. I finally answered and it was someone from the Motel 6 on Dona Sharon's phone saying that my dad wasn't breathing and to come right away. I said I was on my way and began to panic. I called Christinia back immediately and let her talk me down. I knew I couldn't get there fast enough. I knew I couldn't do anything to save my dad. I knew I can't drive in the dark. I knew it was more dangerous for me to drive than to stay at home. I knew that it was out of my hands. I knew that the ambulance would get there and take him to the hospital closeby. I grounded myself and centered.
I called Dona Sharon back to let her know that I can not drive in the dark and could not make it, but she was answering questions by the medics and couldn't talk to me then. I called Christinia back. She calmed me down. Caleb was in tears. I called Dona Sharon after waiting a while to get an update. Dad was not breathing. She gave him insulin to try to revive him and he didn't respond. She gave him CPR to the best of her ability and he was not responding. His face turned blue.
I called the hospital to find out his status. I was directed to the ER nurse's station. I gave my phone number and was told that a nurse would call me back. I waited an hour before calling back again. When I called, I got the worst news of my life. My dad could not be revived. He was gone. I let out a horrifically loud "Noooooooooooooooooo!" when the nurse informed me. I felt it come straight from my chest. Caleb punched the bookcase. I had to get myself together to talk to the nurse about what I need to do now. The doctors decided not to do an autopsy because he had so many health problems.
It is up to me to plan dad's funeral. I am his next of kin. He wants to be buried in the Ft. Bragg Veterans' cemetery.
Chris and Katheleen both helped console Caleb. Mark came over to check on me too.
I don't know how I'm going to make it without my dad. I call him every day, multiple times a day to bullshit. When I need help solving a problem, I call my dad. When my sugar is high, or my anxiety is too much for me to handle, I call my dad. When I am bored, I call my dad. I call my dad for everything.
The Christmas tree lights lit up while I was waiting for the call from the hospital. They stayed lit until Caleb and I went to bed. They are not lit now at 0406.
When I called Dona Sharon to tell her the news, I told her that I don't want her to stay there alone at the motel. I told her, even if she stayed with me temporarily that would be better than her staying there alone.
I called Mathew and left a voicemail for him to call me back. He did call me back, but by that time I knew that dad was dead.
I posted on Facebook that prayers were needed for my dad when I found out he wasn't breathing. I later returned to post a RIP post.
My day was not that great before my dad's news came. My sugar was high due to eating a Domino's pizza, cheesy bread, and brownies Thursday night. I managed to go to Food Lion to buy groceries and get a chuck roast dinner started in the crockpot for Caleb, bur then went to nap for a few hours. Both Caleb and I were tired because neither of us got much sleep the night before. I was sweating all night, and Caleb kept waking me up.
Ashley couldn't come over to clean because her daughter had a fever and was sick. Jonathan rescheduled the trash haul to this morning so he could enjoy lunch with his sons.
I got no work done at all. I was fighting my nerves an hour and a half before my appointment with Jana Carrey. I took a Stress End supplement to help. Our appointment went well. I think I received a lot of signs that prepared me for my dad's death, now that I look back. My higher self and my guides definitely supported me through this.
I told Dona Sharon I would call her this morning to figure things out.
While I wanted to go pick her up, I don't know that I can today. The Mazda is not clean and there is no trunk space right now.
I don't know how today is going to go. I am grounded and centered.
I bought some grounding sheets yesterday. I also bought some air purifiers for the house. I paid for a lifetime subscription to Rosetta Stone the day before. I want to purchase a ring from the Jack Storms wearables collection.
I am going to call Dona Sharon and see if she is awake.
She was awake. She was not able to sleep all night. We talked for a good while. I am not going to pick her up today is what we decided. I will call VA at about 1000 or 1100 to find out what to do from here, when I know I can call her and she will be rested.
I think I might go look it up, but first I want to take my medications.
Have a blessed day, and thank you for reading!
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