I posted the following:
My dad wasn’t breathing!!!
4 days ago
Prayers needed! My dad was rushed to the hospital. He wasn’t breathing!
4 days ago
I thought Mathew blocked me on his phone years ago. I was able to leave a voicemail. I hope he calls me back.
4 days ago
I’m reaching out asking for everybody’s support. I’m going to do what I know how to do (EMT-B trained combat medic) from a distance (Reiki Master).
4 days ago
RIP John de Mello, my father, Airborne Army Veteran Sept 1959-Dec 9 2022
I miss you already dad!
4 days ago
Planning my dad’s funeral this morning.
3 days ago
My dad passed away Friday night. I have to pay his burial expense before they will bury him at the cemetery he chose. He was an Army veteran. Please help me bury my veteran father! I am a disabled veteran myself. I cannot work and have no savings. I am expected to pay this huge amount on this Monday. My heart is already broken for losing my dad. Please share this link! I need your help!
2 days ago
Struggling to go through my routines without my dad in them anymore
2 days ago
I don’t want to be strong, but I have no choice. I can’t afford to fall apart like I feel inside
2 days ago
My heart is broken. I need bio-grade super glue to hold it together until I can get back home and let myself grieve
2 days ago
Thank God for my pitbulls and their hearts of gold
2 days ago
I’m getting ready to see my dad at the funeral home and say my last goodbye to his body. I’m not ok, but I’m exactly how a human is at this point.
2 days ago
I’m ok. I spent a few hours with Dona Sharon, my stepmom. We are going to figure out dinner and relax for the rest of the night.
2 days ago
We are sharing Domino’s pizza tonight with Dona Sharon. It’s what my dad loved. With wings of course. I have a lot of work ahead of me tonight and it’s already been a hard day . I’m exhausted, but I have to find a way to prove my dad was a NC resident for a minimum of either 5 or 10 years. Please keep us in your prayers. Without the proper documentation, my dad will not be buried where he wanted so badly to be laid to rest. Pray that I can make it happen for him.
2 days ago
I go to pay my dad’s final expenses later this morning. If you haven’t shared my link, please do. I’m a disabled veteran and have no savings. I can use all the help I can get. I negotiated the best terms for my dad in accordance with what he wanted. The lowered cost reflects in the gofundme update. I have reached out to my contacts at the VFW and the DAV. I tried to reach out to the church I use to go to before Covid-19. I wish I could share my link with the groups on Facebook I belong to, but it’s against their rules to ask for donations.
Dona Sharon is going to out-process her room and live with me for the foreseeable future beginning after my VA appraisal inspection. One way or another, she will be taken care of. She has no savings either.
I have not received any donations from my brother yet. I do not know if he is willing to help me financially with our dad’s expenses.
I have not even heard from my step-brothers and step-sister, so I do not think they are going to help me.
Thank you so much to those kind-hearted people who did share my link and donate.
1 day ago
My dad will be laid to rest either Thursday or Friday this week at Sandhills Veterans Cemetery in Ft. Bragg. He got his final wishes. Rest in peace dad. You are missed very much.
1 day ago
I made it back home today. I’m exhausted. My whole body is inflamed and skin burning. I gained a lot of weight recently and I think I’m going to have to talk to my doctor. I know my dad is happy about me getting him to his final resting place according to his wishes. Dona Sharon is moving in as soon as we can manage everything. The guest room was recently cleaned.
1 day ago
Update. My dad will be laid to rest Thursday or Friday in the Sandhills Veterans’ Cemetery in Ft. Bragg like he wanted. My heart aches for losing him. I know he is happy I was able to follow his request. Thank you all for your support during this stressful and emotional time.
1 day ago
I will be creating a memorial page for my dad tomorrow. I will share the link after I create it. It is designed to share stories in rememberance. I will also be working on his obituary. It made no sense to publish it in the local newspaper. It will be published on his memorial page.
1 day ago
I had to reach out for help. I don’t know how long I can manage my depression and grief. I contacted my psychiatrist via secure messaging to ask for help. I hope she responds quickly. I’m home now, so it’s not so much in my face that my dad is no longer with me, whereas I was where was living. He lived out of town, but we spoke on the phone all day everyday and every night. I am calling Dona Sharon as a surrogate. It’s not the same.
I don’t feel lost. I feel like we talked about respective deaths enough to prepare myself as much as humanly possible for the reality that we were both going to die and we don’t know when. I told him he would be missed. I cried in advance at the thought of losing him. I panicked every time he had to go the emergency room that it might be his death. A part of me is relieved that I will never have to suffer the emotional distress of him being rushed by ambulance to the hospital again. A part of me is sad that I already gave him his final hug and goodbye. We were growing old together. His grandfather lived until he was 98, I think it was. I hoped my dad would stay with us at least into his 70’s. I wanted him to see Caleb grow into a man.
I am able to rest knowing that I served in the Army because of him. I went to college and graduated. I started graduate school. I contributed to 3 anthologies that are selling on Amazon as international best-sellers. I am raising my son as a single parent. I bought a house. I bought vehicles. I am a business founder and owner. I am a Reiki Master and soon to be a Revelation Breathwork Facilitator.
I am working on my own healing and healing others as I learn how to. My dad was absorbing my love like a sponge every time we talked. There is no doubt in my mind that my dad knew I loved him very much.
I called my dad “Toblerone” , just like the chocolate bar. We made up names for each other and laughed all the time. I also called him “Papa Caca” because of our shared toilet humor.
I would not be the woman I am today without my dad. He raised my brother and me as a single parent until finding Dona Sharon. They were together for 27 years. I owe the life I live today to both of them.
My dad encouraged me to start college classes in high school. He encouraged me to join the military. He supported me through my injuries and being stationed in Korea. He took me in when I was lonely and depressed after returning from Korea. He encouraged me to go to graduate school. He encouraged me to buy a house. He taught me how to shop for a vehicle and how to find it’s value.
He needed healing more than anyone I have ever known. I wish I could have done more for him. I am grateful for the time I had with him. He loved me and Caleb and told us multiple times a day.
He loved my fur babies, Bella and Bubba. They brought him such joy in the way that only my fur babies can. They brought him unconditional love the same way they do for us. I know my dad felt their love too.
My dad and I have a good relationship now, but we struggled as we are so much the same and just as different at the same time.
We loved to share our Army stories together. We both served in Korea in the Army.
I miss my dad.
I will be writing about him a lot as I grieve his death.
In the end, his out of control diabetes and his heart problems killed him.
Rest in peace dad.
1 day ago
1 day ago
You can remember my dad here. Leave a story, photos, videos, or even just a tribute.
1 day ago
He just craved sugar. He just wanted a slushy. His body couldn’t manage it. It was to much stress on his body. I have no idea what he ate that night, but I know it was high in sugar. Oh how I miss calling my dad! My chest feels like it’s bursting. I’ve been awake since 0230. Normally at this point in the morning I call my dad with a big “Toblerone! Wake up! You missed PT! Go to the commander!” And we would laugh. He would say “I was there! In my dreams! I did my PT.” And we would laugh even more. We would discuss our plans for the day. We always both have a lot to juggle. He was working on his unemployability VA claim and working towards getting rated 100%. He was working on fixing his credit so he could buy a house. He wanted to file a lawsuit against the VA for causing his blindness due to negligence. He wanted to file a lawsuit against the people involved with taking everything he had stored at his auto repair shop. He wanted Dona Sharon to file a lawsuit against her brother for not dissolving their parents estate properly. He was getting his Lincoln repaired. He wanted to make adjustments and upgrades to the Ford. He talked about how he couldn’t wait to get a stereo in his house. He hated living at the Motel 6 in Lumberton. He hated being stuck in the room because he was dependent on others to be able to go out anywhere due to his blindness. I called him all the time because we helped each other. We kept each other from falling into deep depressive episodes. I learned from him and he learned from me. I hate that my dad died in the bathroom of the motel. I wish I could call his phone right now and have him answer it.
23 hours ago
Message to my psychiatrist:
My dad died Friday night. I loved him very much and am heartbroken. I had to keep a clear head to plan his burial. I just got home from out of town. I feel like I need depression support. Dr.Hueholt can you prescribe more anti-depressants to help me through the grieving process and the holidays now without my dad? I have so much I’m responsible for and I have this feeling like I don’t know that I want to live without my dad in my life. I’m trying to accept that only his human body has passed and that his spirit lives, but I also want to cry until my eyes dry out. He was a big part of my everyday life. I know these feelings are natural when losing someone we love. I’m exhausted and need a few days of rest. Is there anyway you can help me manage my grief and depression so it doesn’t derail me entirely?
18 hours ago
Getting help to clean my house to prepare for Dona Sharon moving in. It needed deep cleaning and I can’t manage it myself. I went out today and bought groceries . I’m going to focus on washing dishes and crockpot cooking today. Just something to get my body in motion and fight depression.
17 hours ago
I thought I could manage to wash dishes and cook in the crockpot but I ran out of time. It got to be too late to cook in the crockpot today. I ordered Jersey Mike's but I ordered mine as a bowl instead of a sandwich. I've got to regain control over what I eat. Eating bread does not solve my problems and only makes things worse. So... goodbye bread, pasta, potatoes, and rice. Goodbye all non-keto foods. I'm going back to Virta where I feel better and my diabetes is under control.
I'm exhausted. I need a shower. I've got dishes and laundry waiting for me, but they can wait until tomorrow. I'm having dinner and going to bed.
The house cleaners did amazing today and made a lot of progress. More work to be done tomorrow for them too. Getting prepared for Dona Sharon is done. Getting prepared for the VA appraisal is still happening.
Caleb is holding up today and so am I. I reached out for both of us to our mental health providers for support.
The dogs love us. Thank God they do not realize what happened. I look to them for comfort and cuddling.
13 hours ago
Does anyone else have photos of my dad? I’d love to see them
10 hours ago
I just want to hug everyone
10 hours ago
END OF FACEBOOK POSTS
I'm ok this morning. I decided to go back on the Virta keto diet yesterday. I was successful all day. I took all of my meds too. I check up on Dona Sharon many times a day. She sleeps a lot. I need a good shower. I've got Ashley coming over to clean today. She will be working on my room. It's a wreck. Jonathan came by and hauled off a truckload of trash for us. We still have trash on the porch that needs to be hauled away. It's too much for the trash bins that get picked up on Mondays. I have to break down the boxes and bag them too. Chris is going to haul away trash on Friday for us. Jonathan will be back over the weekend to haul trash too.
I don't really feel like writing today. I just want to take my medications and maybe take a shower.
Have a blessed day, and thank you for reading!
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