What is standing in your way right now?
I am standing in my way right now. I am tired, exhausted, and maybe even getting sick. I am not able to do what I want to do a lot of the time.
Caleb is standing in my way right now. I am struggling to teach him the importance of keeping a clean house and yard. I am struggling to teach him basic hygiene. He is Austistic and has ADHD. Things are harder for me to teach him simple things.
What would happen if you overcame the obstacle? More importantly, what would happen if you didn't (think broadly: emotionally, physically, financially, etc.)?
Every day I strive to overcome my disabilities. Often times I am unsuccessful due to the very nature of my disabilities. I celebrate the small wins. I keep trying after I fail too.
Can you reframe the most pressing current obstacle as simply a to-do list? In other words, in order to overcome this, what do you need to learn? What tasks do you need to perform? Who do you need to convince?
I need to heal myself. I have chronic pain that stems from my diet and lack of exercise. It's hard to exercise when I am in pain. It is hard to cook when I am in pain. The key to my success is to relieve the pain before I can heal from it altogether. I try to remember to use Reiki as much as possible. I have to rest a lot. I need to be drinking more water than I currently am. I need to drink less Diet Mountain Dew than I currently am.
I take medications and supplements throughout the day. Sometimes they help, but other times they don't.
When I am well, I am able to perform in a way I remember myself performing when I was younger. When I am well, I can get my work done easily.
Unfortunately, I am in pain most days and don't get much work done.
Yes. I think most people have. I don't regret it. I'm only human.
Are obstacles really just fears holding you back?
No, my obstacles are not fears holding me back.
What is the longest-running obstacle in your life?
Having enough money to pay for the things I need and want.
What steps have you used to make progress toward overcoming it? How far have you come with it? What do you wish would happen? How would that be possible?
I am constantly looking for ways to make more money to support my family. Every day I try to work towards solutions. I am currently building a side Reiki business.
What is the biggest obstacle you faced in your past? Did you overcome it? If so, how? If not, why?
The biggest obstacle I faced was all the trauma and the recovery from those traumas. I have healed a lot by learning more about myself and focusing on my needs.
It is now 0405 and I have been awake for at least 30 minutes. Yesterday was a busy day. Ashley came over and shop vac'd the hallway for us and began straightening up the guest room. Caleb helped her by picking up trash. I spent the time working on getting mail prepared to take to the post office. I had a lot of Christmas cards go out. I mailed out the C-file requests for both me and my dad. I mailed Christinia's mail to her. I began mailing out Christmas presents too. I was working on getting the rest of the Christmas presents ready to mail this morning.
I was in my appointment with Dr. Hueholt by video call when Ashley had to leave. After my appointment Caleb and I went to the post office. We then went to the UPS store to send out my dad and Dona Sharon's package. After that, we went to Walmart so I could buy more envelopes to ship presents in. Then, we went to pick up Caleb's medications refills from CVS.
I bought the ingredients of Cynthia's cabbage soup, but I forgot to buy ground beef. Her soup looked so tasty that I wanted to cook some too. I was tired when I came home, but I was having nerve problems too. It wasn't anxiety exactly because Ib was not in fear at all. I thought it could be from drinking too much Diet Mountain Dew, but later realized I didn't drink any more than usual. I think I was trying to do too much in one day and it got me all worked up. I felt better, more relaxed, after taking my night time medications. I think I missed my afternoon medications. I normally take Hydroxyzine for my chronic anxiety at lunch with Acetomenophen for pain.
My dad and Dona Sharon drove to her medical appointment just South of here. My dad wanted to have a meal together, but I couldn't go because I had to have the house cleaned up during the morning and early afternoon, and I had my psychiatrist appointment at 1330 on the computer.
I only got out of bed this morning because I was sweating in my sleep and needed to cool off and air out.
Today Ashley will be coming over and working on the guest room. Caleb tore it up when we thought there was an intruder in the house. The bed is not on it's frame. I will be shampooing the carpet in the hallway while they work on other rooms in the house. I wanted to shampoo the carpet yesterday, but I ran out of energy after all that running around to get things done.
I made a gift bag for Ashley and gave it to her yesterday so I would not forget it.
Let's take a look at this week. Yesterday I had my psychiatrist appointment. Today I have a class at 1700. I missed the class last night. Tomorrow I have the Next Steps class with Michal. Thursday Bella has her annual exam at the vet's office. Friday I have my mentorship appointment with Jana Carrey. Sunday it looks like I have a class, but I am unsure if that is correct. that's my week at a glance. I asked Ashley to help us every day of the week that she is available so we can prepare for the VA appraisal. I also still need to catch up on the Revelation Breathwork seminars and the Prosperous Healer classes before next week. I have an appointment with Jason from Revelation Breathwork on next Tuesday if I am not mistaken. I want to make the most of that appointment.
I finally received the other security cameras in the mail yesterday. I will have Caleb install them soon.
There have been no security risks since we installed the first 2 security cameras. For that, I am thankful.
I decided to go back and actually use the Daily Om Jornal Prompts that I originally wanted to do as they were given. Yeah. I am a whole 50 weeks behind or so. It was a program that emailed a weekly journal prompt for 52 weeks.
I got a scholarship for the "Healing for Trauma" program with Sounds True. I am excited about that. The program starts in February and runs 9 months. I can't wait to be healthier! It was a 75% scholarship too, so a big chunk of the cost was relieved. I could not afford to go otherwise.
I was talking about how the programs and apps I use daily have updated and how it was hard for me to navigate the changes. My Autistic traits are showing. Change is hard for me, especially if I am not expecting it. Outlook, my email, updated. It took me a few minutes to learn how to use it again. My photos on my phone updated. It took me by surprise. My ability to delete and report junk texts on my phone updated.
I have seen a lot about using AI apps to make art, so I downloaded the app yesterday and tried it out. I used the one that takes my selfies and creates art of them. It came up with some good ones that I like, and some that I don't recognize as being reflective of me. Of the first 200 pieces generated, I only saw my resemblance in maybe 10-15. I have to take more photos in different settings and different poses. My facebook friend, Rebekah, takes amazing selfies all the time. Her photos are gorgeous! Her AI generated art reflects the quality of photos she uploaded, as does mine. I need to step-up my photo game!
My dad is sick with a cold, He and Dona Sharon went straight home after her appointment. Usually they have a meal out, but he was not feeling well. I can hear his illness in his voice on the phone. I hope he gets well soon.
They received the red light and far-infrared therapy belt I shipped to them. I think they are making good use of it. It really helps pain. I lost my first one. I think it is under my bed somewhere. I need it. It should help me lose weight faster.
I have gained a lot of weight recently. I have been eating Jersey Mike's subs and Domino's pizza foods because I could not cook in my condition. I could not get the kitchen in order to be able to cook. I just gave in to delivered foods. Oh, we had Bo' Jangles a couple times too. I love their coleslaw. I need to get exercising but still don't have the incline trainer cleared off yet. Once the guest room is clean and cleared up, we will move those boxes there until we get the shed organized again.
I bought Caleb civilian tactical pants for Christmas that he opened early. He absolutely loves them! He got his short-sleeve tactical shirt in the mail a couple of days ago and is wearing it now with his black-ops tactical pants and socks I also I bought him for Christmas. He is happy and that makes me happy.
I chatted with my second-cousin, Sandra, from Canada, the other day. It filled my heart with a love I have not felt in a very long time, if ever. We shared photos of our dogs together, and talked about the snow she is expecting. I asked her if she was able to build a snowman with us if we could have made it out there for it. She responded that she could. I told her I love snow as long as I don't have to shovel it or drive in it. LOL I told her I would like to visit her one day, perhaps in the Summer so I can escape the Southern Summer heat. She responded kindly that we are welcome to visit.
I have been having a hard time lately. I have a hard time with leavingthe house. It is more pronounced now than ever. I went days without brushing my hair and had all kinds of knots in it as a result. I don't recall the last time I brushed my teeth. I don't even know what happened to my toothbrush since going to Lumberton! It's around here somewhere. I need a shower. I'm ripe. I used the Bravo Sierra antibacterial body wipes the other day just to prevent getting a rash from boob sweat. I miss wearing my far-infrared compression tank. It helps me with my posture a lot, and I think it even prevents me from eating as much. I need to make sure they make it to the laundry so I can shower and put one on.
That's probably what I should focus on today. Self-care. I need to find my dental care supplies, a far-infrared compression tank top that is clean, and take a hot shower and wash all the nasties away. I did manage to brush y hair yesterday before going out. I broken my brush in the process of trying to brush my hair after I put a "Twist-N-Braid" lotion in my hair. I should have known better. Hair lotions and creams are hard to brush in. I just wanted to be sure I got a better feel of my hair before I put it into a ponytail and braided it. Anyway, I bought a couple of new brushes fwhen we were at Walmart. I also remembered to buy flossers since I have no idea what happened to my other bag of them. I think I packed them when we were leaving for Lumberton. It's been driving me crazy to not be able to floss my teeth.
I bought a new program for Caleb to try. The Adventure Academy app renewed, and I told him he needed to be spending more time on it, but the new program is "IXL" and teaches math, language arts, science, and history, as well as Spanish. I am excited to get Caleb's diagnostic testing done to begin where he is, and not where he is expected to be. I have hope that this new program will be essential to his educational growth. It is self-paced. I can sit with him and do my work, while he is doing his work, and answer questions as they come along. It is a curriculum so I know that it covers what we need to cover. It is not the same as using these educational workbooks because the workbooks don't have the lessons in them. They are only books of worksheets. I need help teaching Caleb because I don't have the lessons in front of me. It is not that I don't know the material, it is that I don't have any idea what he is supposed to learn at what stage of his educational growth. I have memories of school, but there is a lot I don't remember. I need guidance. I did not go to school to be a special needs teacher. I am just winging it the best I can for Caleb's sake. We are going to do well together. I can feel it now. Yay!
I decide to buy Caleb a bike for his 14th birthday. I thought I wanted to buy Guitar Hero for his Xbox 360, but that is $400 or more for the set! That is so crazy! I wanted to buy a him a big ticket item for his birthday, and I think I made the right choice. He rides his bike a lot, and his old bike needs to be thrown away. I was able to find a Schwinn mountain bike on amazon that was on sale, in new condition, and discounted as used. That cut a lot of the cost down for me, and I am thankful for that because bikes are now $300-$400 too!
I am going to focus on getting myself a shower, getting dressed, and doing my personal hygiene routine. Then I am going to work on preparing the kitchen to cook. After that I will start making cabbage and greens soup! Sounds like a good day to me!
Having leftovers around will help me get back on my diet. I will add corn and carrots, which not a part of my diet, but it's a good start, and gets me away from eating so much bread. I love bread and it's hard to not eat it once I start eating it. It's addictive. I love fresh bread the most. One of the reasons I love Domino's pizza so much is because it takes 5 minutes to get from the oven to my house, and it's always freshly made.
Christmas is approaching quickly and so is Caleb's birthday. He was born on New Year's Eve, so there is no break to recover financially.
I think I am ready to hop in the shower. I have to make sure I find that tank top first.
Have a blessed day, and thank you for reading!
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