Today's prompt is "If you could add one hour to your day, what would you do with it?" I would sleep, or try to sleep. No kidding. I don't sleep well. I'm always trying to catch up on sleep. If I could manage to sleep well, I would use it to exercise within my limits.
It is now 2:03 a.m. here. I have been up for about an hour. Today is payday, which also means today is bill pay day. I was up paying the bills. I woke up thinking it was later than it was. I was sweating and wanting something other than water to drink. I looked at my phone and checked my bank account balance to see if the direct deposit had been made yet. It had, so here I am on the computer getting my work done.
Yesterday was a good day. I didn't have any appointments, and I feel like I accomplished a lot. I prepared for today's bill paying and updated my spreadsheets. I track everything over time to measure progress. It's harder to see progress when there are no records. I feel like I am working in circles as far as paying off my debts goes. I had a chat with my mom about that very thing today when she called. I am not alone it seems. That's helpful to know.
I have to come up with a new plan of action as far as how to pay off my credit cards. My situation has changed since the last plan I put in place. I had success with it. I successfully paid off 2 credit cards, and am scheduled to pay off 2 credit lines this month. Unfortunately, I had to reuse the credit cards, and they are no longer paid off. The credit lines will never be reused. Once they are paid, they are closed.
I finally had Caleb unload the dishwasher! I have been asking for days now. He put away the dishes in the dish strainer too. He also cleared a path on the living room floor so I can walk through without getting hurt. I followed behind him, at a later time, and shop vac'd the cleared area. This was done as a way to earn his way to go to Publix to buy the Hot Wheels car he wanted so badly. I explained to him that everybody must work and earn their way to get the things they want. I don't know if he is understanding better now, or what, but he worked! So, I took him to the store. I'm proud of him.
I told him that tomorrow he would have to add to his work, to do a better job, so I could do my job. That's how it goes around here. We are dependent on each other. I am trying to get him to understand teamwork. I can't do my job if he doesn't do his job. He can't go on doing what he wants, if what I need to get done, doesn't get done.
I was finally able to drive the Volvo yesterday. It was not so extremely hot outside yesterday. It started right up! I was so glad. It's such a worrisome thing when the battery drains. It's a new battery, but if I don't drive the Volvo, it drains. I went ahead and filled the gas tank up! She was a thirsty girl!
I checked on the gardenias with my mom on Facetime yesterday. The heat killed all the blooms, but it's still as green as can be. I don't remember the last time I put down miracle grow around them, so I might need to do that this Fall when it is not so risky for me to work outside.
I am trying to catch up on my paperwork that I do. I keep print outs of my monthly and weekly records, and file them in a binder. I'm collecting a paper pile on my "desk." I want to start using the free workbooks I printed out for the school year. I have to look through them and see what applies to us, and make adjustments accordingly.
I still need to get the Volvo inspected prior to being able to pay the registration and taxes. I need to fill out the application with the state to begin homeschool this Fall. Traditional public school starts on August 17th this year. I want to print out a traditional public school calendar so I can try to maintain a parallel schedule as much as possible.
I need to schedule time to take photos of my property for insurance reasons. I have to update my records every so often as things get added and trashed over time. I don't want to relive the time when the RV caught fire and I got no compensation from the insurance company for my losses. That happened as a teenager, and I happened to have lost many favorites that could not have been replaced anyway.
Well, I guess since I'm very much awake, I may as well start working on some these things.
Friday, July 31, 2020
Thursday, July 30, 2020
5 Year Journal Day 72
Today's prompt is " Where do you live?" We live in Oak Island, NC.
It is 7:41 a.m. here. Caleb has been waking up every hour or so since 4:30 this morning. First it was for an ear ache, next diarrhea, then Bella begging, and finally to ask to go for a walk.
Yesterday went well. I went to my dental appointment and brought Caleb to the waiting room without a problem. I found out that my gums were looking better since last time, and that it's not necessary to come back in 3 months like originally expected. I am going back in 5 months instead. I have a broken filling that they are going to replace then.
Yeah, I guess that was my day because I came home after that and made a hot meal for the day. I ate and went to nap. I really didn't feel like getting back up but Caleb woke me up. He doesn't understand that I don't sleep like he does at night. I don't get a whole night's rest.
Today we are supposed to be working on the house together. I have offered Caleb the ability to earn $1 per hour of labor. He has accepted. That means he earns money for his Hot Wheels collection! So, we will see how it turns out. So far he is already lively and I am just not. I gave him his night time medication early last night because I wanted to go to sleep already. I was just so tired. He is already going for a walk. He should be back in a little while.
I figured out why it was feeling so warm and stale in here. Caleb moved the vent to the window unit from pointing up. It needs to point up to reach across the room. I'm going to talk to him about it when he gets back.
Ahhh!!! Air conditioning!!! I feel so much better. I'm drinking my Dew, and I should be ready to start after I take my morning medications.
Oh. I need to plan dinner for tonight too. I didn't take any meat out of the freezer, so I will have to cook in the crock pot. I told Caleb that if it rained today, and cooled off outside, we could make fish fillets and tater tots in the oven, then bake brownies! We just can't do that in 100 degree weather.
It is 7:41 a.m. here. Caleb has been waking up every hour or so since 4:30 this morning. First it was for an ear ache, next diarrhea, then Bella begging, and finally to ask to go for a walk.
Yesterday went well. I went to my dental appointment and brought Caleb to the waiting room without a problem. I found out that my gums were looking better since last time, and that it's not necessary to come back in 3 months like originally expected. I am going back in 5 months instead. I have a broken filling that they are going to replace then.
Yeah, I guess that was my day because I came home after that and made a hot meal for the day. I ate and went to nap. I really didn't feel like getting back up but Caleb woke me up. He doesn't understand that I don't sleep like he does at night. I don't get a whole night's rest.
Today we are supposed to be working on the house together. I have offered Caleb the ability to earn $1 per hour of labor. He has accepted. That means he earns money for his Hot Wheels collection! So, we will see how it turns out. So far he is already lively and I am just not. I gave him his night time medication early last night because I wanted to go to sleep already. I was just so tired. He is already going for a walk. He should be back in a little while.
I figured out why it was feeling so warm and stale in here. Caleb moved the vent to the window unit from pointing up. It needs to point up to reach across the room. I'm going to talk to him about it when he gets back.
Ahhh!!! Air conditioning!!! I feel so much better. I'm drinking my Dew, and I should be ready to start after I take my morning medications.
Oh. I need to plan dinner for tonight too. I didn't take any meat out of the freezer, so I will have to cook in the crock pot. I told Caleb that if it rained today, and cooled off outside, we could make fish fillets and tater tots in the oven, then bake brownies! We just can't do that in 100 degree weather.
Wednesday, July 29, 2020
5 Year Journal Day 71
Today's prompt is "What was something you wanted to have today, but couldn't have?" Oh, that's an easy one! Everything in the bakery section at the new Publix on the island! I'm not supposed to be eating bread, pasta, potatoes, rice, or any carbs, and definitely not sugar.
I'm up at 2:34 am because I was sweating and overheating. I can't sleep when I'm hot. I was sticking to the mattress protector because my blanket shifted.
I had a pretty good day yesterday. My hair cooperated awesomely in the heat. I went to Caleb's occupational therapy appointment and was allowed to sit inside, instead of waiting in the car. It was probably warmer in the building than in the car, but at least I wasn't outside in the sun. I got some reading done while I waited. I was reading a book on the kindle about starting a homeschool. Very interesting stuff that I had not considered. I did not finish reading, so there is more to go.
I made a spaghetti dinner with meat, zucchini, and squash sauce. We bought fresh bread from the new Publix while we were there today. It was delicious! I have not had freshly made bread in so long! What a treat!
I bought 4 lbs. of ground beef at $3.29/lbs. That's the best price I've seen lately! We also bought the Gatorade powder to make Gatorade at home. I'm so excited about that! I have been waiting for Walmart to sell it, and they never do. It's cheaper to make it at home than to buy them in bottles. We drink so much! And it's so hot these days, it's important to replenish electrolytes.
I am happy that I did not have to raise cane at the occupational therapist office about coming inside. I really did not want to show my ass, but I was going to if the need arised.
I have some random photos I want to share. They are hilarious.
I'm up at 2:34 am because I was sweating and overheating. I can't sleep when I'm hot. I was sticking to the mattress protector because my blanket shifted.
I had a pretty good day yesterday. My hair cooperated awesomely in the heat. I went to Caleb's occupational therapy appointment and was allowed to sit inside, instead of waiting in the car. It was probably warmer in the building than in the car, but at least I wasn't outside in the sun. I got some reading done while I waited. I was reading a book on the kindle about starting a homeschool. Very interesting stuff that I had not considered. I did not finish reading, so there is more to go.
I made a spaghetti dinner with meat, zucchini, and squash sauce. We bought fresh bread from the new Publix while we were there today. It was delicious! I have not had freshly made bread in so long! What a treat!
I bought 4 lbs. of ground beef at $3.29/lbs. That's the best price I've seen lately! We also bought the Gatorade powder to make Gatorade at home. I'm so excited about that! I have been waiting for Walmart to sell it, and they never do. It's cheaper to make it at home than to buy them in bottles. We drink so much! And it's so hot these days, it's important to replenish electrolytes.
I am happy that I did not have to raise cane at the occupational therapist office about coming inside. I really did not want to show my ass, but I was going to if the need arised.
I have some random photos I want to share. They are hilarious.
This was Caleb's idea!
My sweet Bella.
Scary face!
Belly rub love.
Good hair day!
Caleb's work again.
Smile!
Caleb took most of those photos! He is becoming quite the photographer!
I asked Caleb some important questions today. "If you had a choice, would you prefer a tablet or a laptop?" Laptop. Good choice! He can use a laptop for school work and games. I would like to find a way to get him a laptop on sale this Fall, maybe cyber Monday or black Friday. Next, " What if you homeschooled forever?" As in never went back to school? "I don't know" Well it's something to think about. It may end up being better for you overall. Finally, "Do you want spaghetti or penne?" LOL I will eat both, so it doesn't matter to me! He says "Spaghetti!"
Caleb is my little carb-o-holic. He loves carbs. He especially likes Velveeta shells and cheese, but really enjoys when I make pasta.
Bella is enjoying so much time with us at home. She is so calm at home. It's when she sees other animals, she goes wild.
When I take notes from this kindle book I am reading, I will have some big words to describe my homeschool. LOL
I called my dentist's office and told them I am a single parent, and needed my son to wait inside, instead of the car for an hour. My request was approved. I am grateful. Once again, I would have been willing to fight somebody for my son's safety. I don't know why I am so on the edge lately. Part of it comes with being a veteran, and a mom of an exceptional child. Part of it has to do with hormones at that time of month. Part of it has to do with being spending so much time following all these guidelines for COVID-19. Part of it has to do with what happened last week and being in a 100 degree house. My claws are out for sure.
I am going to have Caleb try some children's yoga and meditation as prat of his school day. It will be good for both of us. We are going to study mindfulness too. I want to really support his development from where he is, not where his classmates were/are.
Once again, Bella stayed in bed, and did not follow me out of the bedroom. I find that to be funny. She is too comfortable to get up. Caleb is sleeping on the couch and Sponge Bob is on.
Today is the last appointment of the week. I will be able to catch up on laundry and dishes for sure. I have no need to go anywhere after my dental visit. I'm also trying to get Caleb to help me remove as much clutter and trash from the house as possible. School will start soon, and it will be easier to concentrate without the mess.
I'm so thirsty, I had to make me a 2.2 L ice cold flavored water drink real quick. I don't understand what it is about having diabetes that makes me so thirsty all the time. I drink fluids all day and all night. Ahhh ice! So great to have ice again! Cools the insides.
I think the Swanson supplements have helped me tame my inflammation. I haven't felt the heat from inside my body for some time now. It must be working! I will find out for sure when I have my labs done again. The numbers don't lie.
I have been failing at keeping my diet under control. I have been failing at exercising daily. There's just too much going on and I'm not making the best choices on a daily basis. Being a single parent and first-time home owner is hard work. I don't sleep well. I get tired during the middle of the day. I go to bed early and wake up during the night all night long. I don't know how to change my sleep pattern. I wake up because I am hot, have to use the bathroom, have dry mouth from mouth breathing, am thirsty, want to vape, want to snack, need to change position... the list is endless. I have no choice but to get up because I can't go back to sleep without taking action. I do the best I can with what I have to deal with.
Sometimes during the day I deal with fatigue and lack of motivation to do anything. Sometimes I have flare ups which keep me in bed pretty much for days. I haven't been using the diabetic shoes I fought to get, with the custom insoles, and lift. I have been wearing my old sandals that I super glued the Dr. Scholl's insert into.
The only things that are stable, every day practices are that I take my medications, and I write my blog. All other things must be flexible because it just depends on how I am feeling whether or not anything gets done. I am pretty good about keeping appointments too, regardless of how I feel. I have not been meditating, nor doing the chair yoga program I bought. I struggle. Everyday. My PTSD and Anxiety have calmed down quite a bit. I no longer need to take anxiety medication. I am supposed to be using the Alpha-Stim daily, but I have neglected to do that too. Since getting use to being in my bedroom at night, I have been able to calm down from some heightened sensitivities that I had to noises. Generally speaking, I am enjoying my life. I wish I could do more of what I set out for myself to do. I do what I can, as I can.
I haven't been walking on the incline trainer at all since the flare up. Too much has happened since then, and I haven't fully recovered. I need to adjust my schedule to be able to include more activities when I am feeling awake and able, and it's not hot outside.
I try to explain things to Caleb. I am not normal. Normal people are able to work a job. Normal people are able to do more around the house on a regular and consistent basis. Normal people can sleep through the night. Normal people are not disabled people. It's important I make these distinctions obvious for him, because I am all he knows. He does not see the homes of other people, and he does not know how other families operate. I don't know how other families operate, I just know it's very different from how we are forced to operate.
I had an appointment with my neurologist last Friday. We discussed the possibility of changing my medications that I take for seizures and fibromyalgia. I have sexual dysfunction due to my medications, and I just assumed it would be due to the Lyrica since it acts on the nervous system. He mentioned it may also be due to my anti-depressants. I decided to not change my medications, as I do not want to risk having another seizure. One seizure equals 6 months of not being able to drive. I have no support system here, and that would be disastrous. He said that there are not many fibromyalgia medications available. I would have to discuss changing my anti-depressants with my psychiatrist. I will discuss the sexual dysfunction so that she is aware, but I will not change my medications. I have not had a period of depression for a while now, and I want to keep it that way. I guess I have to sacrifice my sexual health for my mental health. I am ok with that. I am not dating. I am not interested in anyone. I would like to be able to take care of my own needs, but I am so tired at night anyway... I feel like I'm older than I actually am because I have been numbed to those experiences. Caleb told me that I am ancient. LOL I'm still only 37. 37 is a good number.
So yeah, I am very much in survival mode. I thought I was doing better, but now that I see everything typed up, I know better. Hurricanes have started to show up. None coming our way as of yet, but it won't be long. The ocean is just too warm, and the winds from Africa blow. I need to buy more water.
I haven't been able to drive the Volvo because it has been a heat index of 100 or more for more than a week, and the Volvo's air conditioning is broken.
I don't know how the things are faring in the shed. I haven't been out there lately. I know it gets super hot in there during the day though. I need to take a picture of my college diploma to submit to the state along with my homeschool application. I never opened the envelope to look at it. I just stored it away. I didn't really celebrate it, but I should have. I mean, I spent years trying to obtain the damn thing! I don't know. It was like the end. It was over. Nothing more. I was already disabled when I graduated. I knew I wouldn't be working. It was like I prepared for nothing. I was hoping to have a government job working in Logistics. It would have been very fulfilling, as I would have chosen a job that supported the Army and worked as a civilian. My ideas of what I am capable of have changed since then. I know I cannot handle a traditional full time job. I can't even handle my life as it is right now! Adding to the work load would not help.
The only reason I know I can homeschool Caleb is because I am determined to keep our schedule flexible. We do not need strict structure. Caleb does not do well in that environment anyway. It causes a lot of stress to behave that way for both of us. So, we will take each day as it comes, and make the most of the time we can afford. The only regulation North Carolina has is that the school has to be in operation for 9 months out of the year, and that all students must do the end-of-year testing. I must have at least a high school diploma, and apply for homeschool registration with the state. Of course I will need to withdraw Caleb from his middle school, so they will not expect him there.
I am excited because I knew I needed help teaching Caleb the basics from elementary school, but since he knows how to read now, this should be good. He has graduated from his speech therapy, and is much better able to communicate now then he was back in kindergarten or first grade. There are a lot fewer meltdowns and explosions than there use to be. I feel that public school takes so much time away from me being able to parent my own child. We would wake up at 6:00 am to get ready and catch thus bus at 7:15 a.m. Caleb's school would open around 8:15 a.m. and end around 3:30 p.m. He would get home around 4:30 p.m. There was only time for him to do his daily chores, to have dinner, take a shower, and get ready for bed the way he behaves. He requires an early bedtime to not be a butthole the next day. That's how it was Monday through Friday for years. Saturday and Sunday were rest days and cleaning days for me. Sometimes it would have to be grocery shopping days too. It's not the life I want for my son. He wasn't participating in classes. He wasn't doing his school work. He was creating every excuse in the book to avoid doing work. He was destroying pencils, crayons, and markers in class and making messes. He was being wild on the bus. There were bullies on the bus. He came home in a bad mood almost every day. His grades were low in core subjects. His testing results were low every year. He only liked school to go to recess every day. It was a prison for kids. I felt bad for him, but there was little I could do. I would get notes from teachers almost every day about some problem they were having with Caleb that day. It was exhausting. Futile.
Caleb's not a bad kid. He needs more one on one attention than he was getting in public school. He has trouble paying attention as it is. His teachers were aware of him having ADHD and ODD. He is a very active and energetic boy. He only pays attention to things that interest him. For example, he can play video games all day long. It provides the sensory input he requires. It's highly involved and all-consuming. You can't provide that experience in a classroom of 30 kids.
Trying to keep up with him makes me tired. I don't have the energy I had once upon a time. I'm worn down. I don't get restorative sleep, so I never fully recharge. I have a general idea of how we are going to work together to get through the year though.
Caleb is awake now. Bella has come out of the bedroom too. Funny how that happens at about the same time. It is now 4:44 a.m. here now.
I'm ready to go lay down now.
Tuesday, July 28, 2020
5 Year Journal Day 70
Today's prompt is " What was the last movie you rented?" It's been so long since I have rented a movie, I don't know what the last movie I rented was.
It is 2:25 am here now. Yesterday was another high heat index day. I was going to stay in the house all day, but plans changed when Caleb decided to take Bella for a "short" walk while I was napping. He woke me up to tell me his plans, but I was not awake enough to think it through. I did not know what time it was. It happened to be around 3:00pm, when the heat index was supposed to be the highest. It hit me a few minutes after Caleb left with Bella.
Bella had been gassy, so we knew she had to poop. Caleb had let her outside and she did not do her business for some reason. Caleb told me he was just going to walk her enough to poop and bring her back. Well, Caleb ended up taking her to the park, which was a lot further than I had expected.
I quickly realized the mistake in letting them go outside, and text Caleb to not let Bella walk on the road or she would burn her paws. He responded ok. I gave them a little time, enough to poop, and text Caleb to come back home. He responded Ok. He was taking too long to come home, and something made me jump out of bed and go get them both. I knew it was just too hot outside for both of them. I drove down the street and did not see them, so I continued to the Veterans' Park. There they were. Poor Bella was panting so hard. I picked them up and told Caleb to take Bella inside and show her the water bowl. It was too hot outside for me too. I wanted ice cream to cool my insides.
We left Bella at home in the air conditioning to cool off and relax, and I took Caleb to Publix for the first time. It was smaller than I imagined it would be for a new store. He found some large Gatorade bottles , buy one get one free. I found our favorite ice creams. We quickly came back home and chugged our Gatorades, and ate some ice cream in the air conditioning. I was feeling much better.
Yesterday morning Caleb went for a walk, and while he was away I began to clean the kitchen. It was well overdue. The house was cool and I was ready to get started. I got a good amount done before my therapy appointment online.
When my therapy appointment was over, and after I chatted with Nichole for awhile, it was lunch time. I made us grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch. It seems like it's been forever since we've had bread in the house. Caleb enjoyed it, but we both agreed they are better on the grill/griddle we use to have.
After lunch is when I decided I needed a nap. I did not sleep well the night before. I am always sleepy after a meal anyway.
Later today Caleb has his occupational therapy appointment. His therapist text me to make sure we were still coming. I responded that yes we were coming, but I needed to wait inside as I have been having heat related health problems. She said she would need to discuss it with someone named Susan, but it should be ok. I don't know why they expect parents to wait in their cars for an hour during this heat wave. I can't do it. I won't do it. I'm a high risk for heat stroke.
Tomorrow I have a dental appointment, and Caleb is not allowed in the waiting room. I am going to be discussing that with them as well. If I cannot stay in the car for hour, I will not have my son do it.
In any case, I worked more on the kitchen before and while cooking. I got the dishwasher loaded and started and filled the dish strainer. I still have some dishes soaking, but I made good progress for a hot day. Today I will try to get some laundry done. I need to catch up. I also will try to go through Caleb's books and put them in order.
Yeah, I was just too warm to stay asleep. I am use to having the weighted blanket over me, but now I am using the weighted blanket as a sheet because it does not move as much as the sheet does. The sheet won't stay on the bed! So I am using one of Caleb's minion comforters to cover with, and it's too warm for me. Then Bella likes to sleep right beside me and she produces heat too.
I got my photo prints today! I looked through them, and can't decide what to do with them yet! I want to keep all of them, but that is not the reason I bought so many! LOL Oh my! I just love them.
Caleb must have heard the silence, because when I walked in the living room the tv was on sleep mode. A few minutes after I started typing, he woke up to turn Sponge Bob back on LOL.
Caleb had been wanting more of my direct attention the last few days. He wants me to play, which I don't always have the energy to do. He likes to race his Hot Wheels. I woke up yesterday morning after having slept on one of them. That's the mark of a mother. That and stepping on Legos in the middle of the night.
I decided to purchase an Adventure Academy annual subscription. It was more than 60% off, and I have wanted to find something that would help make homeschooling fun. Caleb can play on my computer or on his phone. It helps teach math, language, social studies, and science. I've heard great things about the program. I'm hopeful that it will help Caleb catch up.
I think my heat rash is healing. It is not so itchy any more. Caleb helped me out the day before yesterday, and gave me a good back scratch.
I watered my succulent plant, my air plant, Caleb's bamboo, and the house plant I received from Sarah a couple years ago. The last one needs love. I often forget to water it. I never remember to take it outside. I will have to do that later today.
I have to register with the state as a homeschool. I have not come up with a name yet, so I might just settle on "de Mello School." It's the default choice that the state would name my homeschool.
Bella is such a good girl. I could not have asked for a better dog. She loves to be with me. I love that. I had a dog once, a shih tzu, and he was nuts. He did not like to cuddle or be held. He did his own thing most of the time. Bella follows me and watches me. I talk to her and sing to her. I rub her belly lots. She is very loved. I think she really likes to be on the bed too. She did not follow me this morning. She stayed on the bed! LOL
Caleb is growing so fast. He caught a "blind" bird yesterday and wanted to help it. I told him he shouldn't go around touching wild animals as they carry diseases. He was a little upset that he couldn't help the poor thing.
Caleb just woke up and Bella just came out of the bedroom.
I wonder what size generator I would need for my house. I am going to look into that. That would be the next step in hurricane preparation. Being without electricity during the heat is not survivable for long.
Bella is laying on the floor close to me. She is so sweet. Caleb went back to sleep. I am wide awake. I don't know what I will do next. We seemed to have lost a loaf of bread somewhere. I bet it is still in the car.
It is 2:25 am here now. Yesterday was another high heat index day. I was going to stay in the house all day, but plans changed when Caleb decided to take Bella for a "short" walk while I was napping. He woke me up to tell me his plans, but I was not awake enough to think it through. I did not know what time it was. It happened to be around 3:00pm, when the heat index was supposed to be the highest. It hit me a few minutes after Caleb left with Bella.
Bella had been gassy, so we knew she had to poop. Caleb had let her outside and she did not do her business for some reason. Caleb told me he was just going to walk her enough to poop and bring her back. Well, Caleb ended up taking her to the park, which was a lot further than I had expected.
I quickly realized the mistake in letting them go outside, and text Caleb to not let Bella walk on the road or she would burn her paws. He responded ok. I gave them a little time, enough to poop, and text Caleb to come back home. He responded Ok. He was taking too long to come home, and something made me jump out of bed and go get them both. I knew it was just too hot outside for both of them. I drove down the street and did not see them, so I continued to the Veterans' Park. There they were. Poor Bella was panting so hard. I picked them up and told Caleb to take Bella inside and show her the water bowl. It was too hot outside for me too. I wanted ice cream to cool my insides.
We left Bella at home in the air conditioning to cool off and relax, and I took Caleb to Publix for the first time. It was smaller than I imagined it would be for a new store. He found some large Gatorade bottles , buy one get one free. I found our favorite ice creams. We quickly came back home and chugged our Gatorades, and ate some ice cream in the air conditioning. I was feeling much better.
Yesterday morning Caleb went for a walk, and while he was away I began to clean the kitchen. It was well overdue. The house was cool and I was ready to get started. I got a good amount done before my therapy appointment online.
When my therapy appointment was over, and after I chatted with Nichole for awhile, it was lunch time. I made us grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch. It seems like it's been forever since we've had bread in the house. Caleb enjoyed it, but we both agreed they are better on the grill/griddle we use to have.
After lunch is when I decided I needed a nap. I did not sleep well the night before. I am always sleepy after a meal anyway.
Later today Caleb has his occupational therapy appointment. His therapist text me to make sure we were still coming. I responded that yes we were coming, but I needed to wait inside as I have been having heat related health problems. She said she would need to discuss it with someone named Susan, but it should be ok. I don't know why they expect parents to wait in their cars for an hour during this heat wave. I can't do it. I won't do it. I'm a high risk for heat stroke.
Tomorrow I have a dental appointment, and Caleb is not allowed in the waiting room. I am going to be discussing that with them as well. If I cannot stay in the car for hour, I will not have my son do it.
In any case, I worked more on the kitchen before and while cooking. I got the dishwasher loaded and started and filled the dish strainer. I still have some dishes soaking, but I made good progress for a hot day. Today I will try to get some laundry done. I need to catch up. I also will try to go through Caleb's books and put them in order.
Yeah, I was just too warm to stay asleep. I am use to having the weighted blanket over me, but now I am using the weighted blanket as a sheet because it does not move as much as the sheet does. The sheet won't stay on the bed! So I am using one of Caleb's minion comforters to cover with, and it's too warm for me. Then Bella likes to sleep right beside me and she produces heat too.
I got my photo prints today! I looked through them, and can't decide what to do with them yet! I want to keep all of them, but that is not the reason I bought so many! LOL Oh my! I just love them.
Caleb must have heard the silence, because when I walked in the living room the tv was on sleep mode. A few minutes after I started typing, he woke up to turn Sponge Bob back on LOL.
Caleb had been wanting more of my direct attention the last few days. He wants me to play, which I don't always have the energy to do. He likes to race his Hot Wheels. I woke up yesterday morning after having slept on one of them. That's the mark of a mother. That and stepping on Legos in the middle of the night.
I decided to purchase an Adventure Academy annual subscription. It was more than 60% off, and I have wanted to find something that would help make homeschooling fun. Caleb can play on my computer or on his phone. It helps teach math, language, social studies, and science. I've heard great things about the program. I'm hopeful that it will help Caleb catch up.
I think my heat rash is healing. It is not so itchy any more. Caleb helped me out the day before yesterday, and gave me a good back scratch.
I watered my succulent plant, my air plant, Caleb's bamboo, and the house plant I received from Sarah a couple years ago. The last one needs love. I often forget to water it. I never remember to take it outside. I will have to do that later today.
I have to register with the state as a homeschool. I have not come up with a name yet, so I might just settle on "de Mello School." It's the default choice that the state would name my homeschool.
Bella is such a good girl. I could not have asked for a better dog. She loves to be with me. I love that. I had a dog once, a shih tzu, and he was nuts. He did not like to cuddle or be held. He did his own thing most of the time. Bella follows me and watches me. I talk to her and sing to her. I rub her belly lots. She is very loved. I think she really likes to be on the bed too. She did not follow me this morning. She stayed on the bed! LOL
Caleb is growing so fast. He caught a "blind" bird yesterday and wanted to help it. I told him he shouldn't go around touching wild animals as they carry diseases. He was a little upset that he couldn't help the poor thing.
Caleb just woke up and Bella just came out of the bedroom.
I wonder what size generator I would need for my house. I am going to look into that. That would be the next step in hurricane preparation. Being without electricity during the heat is not survivable for long.
Bella is laying on the floor close to me. She is so sweet. Caleb went back to sleep. I am wide awake. I don't know what I will do next. We seemed to have lost a loaf of bread somewhere. I bet it is still in the car.
Monday, July 27, 2020
5 Year Journal Day 69
Today's prompt is "A person you wanted to ignore today ____." I didn't want to ignore anyone today.
It is 6:46 am here now. Yesterday we didn't do much. We went to Walmart to pick up some gallons of water for hurricane season. Upon getting home, we felt sick. It was just too hot outside. I had to rest the rest of the day.
You know I was thinking last night. I was trained as a medic more than 10 years ago, and it never occurred to me that I was putting myself at severely close risk to having a heat stroke last week. I mean, duh. I don't know. I was doing what I thought I needed to do at the time. I was trying to get the AC on as quickly as possible, without having to call a repairman if possible. It just so happened to be 103 heat index at the same time. It was conundrum. It's not like I had money to spare.
I am slowly gaining weight back. It is too hot for me to do much, and I have to rest a lot. I see other people out walking, running, riding bikes, etc. I just can't do that. I take medications that require me to stay out of the sun. I have had heat injuries before, and am at high risk for more. I just can't do summer. It is another 103 heat index day today. I don't plan on leaving the house at all. I hope I can get the dishes and laundry washed. It just depends on how warm it gets in the house.
I was sweating last night. I woke up every 30 minutes or so. It was frustrating because I am so tired. I had to drink to refresh my dry mouth. I had to use the bathroom. I had to cool off from sweating. Is it Fall yet? Or better, Winter? Please let it rain soon. We need a few days of cooler weather.
I have an appointment today but it is a telehealth appointment, online. Tomorrow Caleb has an in-person appointment, and Wednesday, I have an in-person appointment.
Yesterday, Caleb wanted to spend some quality time with me, without Bella. He is jealous of Bella! We played with his Hot Wheels cars. We put on aromatherapy body cream. He made popcorn, and we watched a movie. He wanted to play more, but I was pooped.
I wanted to make some brownies, but I didn't want to heat the house.
This window unit is heaven. Just saying. I can't believe I lived in this house without one for 5 years. Caleb loves to sleep on the couch, under it. He is all cuddled up. I wish my room was as cool as it is out here in the living room. Bella didn't follow me out of the bedroom this morning. She is still laying on the bed. LOL.
I feel lazy. I already don't want to do anything, but I know I need to do things. Adulting is hard.
It is 6:46 am here now. Yesterday we didn't do much. We went to Walmart to pick up some gallons of water for hurricane season. Upon getting home, we felt sick. It was just too hot outside. I had to rest the rest of the day.
You know I was thinking last night. I was trained as a medic more than 10 years ago, and it never occurred to me that I was putting myself at severely close risk to having a heat stroke last week. I mean, duh. I don't know. I was doing what I thought I needed to do at the time. I was trying to get the AC on as quickly as possible, without having to call a repairman if possible. It just so happened to be 103 heat index at the same time. It was conundrum. It's not like I had money to spare.
I am slowly gaining weight back. It is too hot for me to do much, and I have to rest a lot. I see other people out walking, running, riding bikes, etc. I just can't do that. I take medications that require me to stay out of the sun. I have had heat injuries before, and am at high risk for more. I just can't do summer. It is another 103 heat index day today. I don't plan on leaving the house at all. I hope I can get the dishes and laundry washed. It just depends on how warm it gets in the house.
I was sweating last night. I woke up every 30 minutes or so. It was frustrating because I am so tired. I had to drink to refresh my dry mouth. I had to use the bathroom. I had to cool off from sweating. Is it Fall yet? Or better, Winter? Please let it rain soon. We need a few days of cooler weather.
I have an appointment today but it is a telehealth appointment, online. Tomorrow Caleb has an in-person appointment, and Wednesday, I have an in-person appointment.
Yesterday, Caleb wanted to spend some quality time with me, without Bella. He is jealous of Bella! We played with his Hot Wheels cars. We put on aromatherapy body cream. He made popcorn, and we watched a movie. He wanted to play more, but I was pooped.
I wanted to make some brownies, but I didn't want to heat the house.
This window unit is heaven. Just saying. I can't believe I lived in this house without one for 5 years. Caleb loves to sleep on the couch, under it. He is all cuddled up. I wish my room was as cool as it is out here in the living room. Bella didn't follow me out of the bedroom this morning. She is still laying on the bed. LOL.
I feel lazy. I already don't want to do anything, but I know I need to do things. Adulting is hard.
Sunday, July 26, 2020
5 Year Journal day 68
Today's prompt is "What was the last song you listened to?" 311 "Chaos"
It is 12:12 am here now. I just gave Bella a cow ear and she is crunching loudly. Caleb is asleep on the couch. I woke up because I was starting to sweat. My back itches between my shoulder blades, where I developed a heat rash this week. I can't reach it. I need a tree to rub up against!
Yesterday I was scheduled to rest, and rest I did. I slept a lot. I did not even think I was that tired. I spent the majority of the day in my bed with Bella. She is the best cuddle buddy. She lets me pet her for long periods of time, and doesn't mind.
Today I am planning on get some things put in order for the school year. I want to go through Caleb's library and see what we have to work with. I also want to catch up on my chores.
I am soo thirsty. I don't know why. I have been drinking water and Dew all day. I wake up about this time every day thirsty for like gallons of drink. It makes no sense.
I am waiting for shipments to arrive in the mail and they are running late. Sucks.
Yep, I'm wide awake with no ideas going through my head. I'm just listening to Sponge Bob on the tv. Oh! I forgotten to drive the Volvo this week. Damnit. I hope the battery hasn't died.
I see the dentist again this week. I am going to have x-rays taken, and my gums re-examined. I have to ask in advance if Caleb can wait inside because it is too hot to wait in the car, even with the ac on.
My back itches so badly! I'm rubbing up against the back of the chair. I hope I don't break the damn thing. I need a back scratcher and a back scrubber.
So I was playing with Caleb today. He was rubbing his face against Bella, and I told him he had poop on his forehead! He jumped off the bed real quick! He hurt himself in the process, but I was already laughing my butt off. He made me laugh so hard I peed my pants! I told him I peed my pants, and he didn't believe me. He thought I had pee running down my leg and it got on him! Oh my God! Hilarious to see this boy react! I didn't have pee running down my leg, but boy was it funny! I wear special underwear for women with bladder control problems. It happens to the best of us after childbirth. I can't sneeze, cough, laugh hard, or jump without leaking. Anyway Caleb is now "poopy forehead Caleb." I told him it was Bella's poop! He got it from rubbing his face against her! Hahahaha! He finally looked in the mirror and asked where? I pointed to the brown spots. He said "those are scabs! scabs from my pimples!" I should have have kept going and screamed "Ahhhh! Pimple scabs are even worse!" LOL
It's times like theses that make me realize Caleb is really my son. LOL I have to laugh sometimes, or it would be too serious all the time!
I'm thinking of paying him a dollar an hour to help me with cleaning the house. One dollar will buy him one Hot Wheels or Matchbox car, which he is collecting. If we break the big job into smaller increments, he might succeed, and get rewarded.
Well, I've had my fill of Dews. I guess I just don't have a lot on my mind this morning. Too much itchy and too much thirsty.
Saturday, July 25, 2020
5 Year Journal Day 67
Today's prompt is "It's not a good idea to experiment with ____" My first reaction is to say illegal drugs. Nothing but trouble can come from it.
Today was a good day! It is now 2:30am here. It is nice and cool in my house, very comfortable. I took a really good shower yesterday. We went to Walmart and bought our groceries with the EBT card! I bought a cart full of groceries for $150, that's a good deal for us. Sometimes it's closer to $300. I bought some canned foods for hurricane season. I feel I am well prepared in case we don't have electricity for more than a week. I still need lots of water though. That and some flashlights and batteries, and a way to charge our phones.
I wore my hair natural yesterday, just shampoo and conditioner, no styling products. It dried in such a way that I had a single curl in the middle of my forehead! LOL
I have to find a way to pay for the electrician to put in a permanent solution to our window unit. I am looking at my budget and I am not finding a way this month or next month. It is just going to have to wait.
Bella didn't even follow me out of the room this morning, like she normally does. She must be really comfortable on the bed. Caleb is asleep. Sponge Bob is on the tv in the living room.
My Aunt Lisa and I discussed about how I am going to manage homeschooling Caleb. I don't have all the answers. I just know it is the best option for us, and I have to make it work. I have faith that Caleb and I will be able to find a way to make it work. I don't know why I am so optimistic, but I am.
Caleb and I will make a code of conduct and rules to follow if he fails to live up to the code conduct. We are going to work a free form, fluid schedule that incorporates our basic living needs and appointments. We will take days off when I am not feeling well enough to teach. We will take days days off when he is not feeling well enough to learn. We will work weekends if we have to. We will not wake up early and we will not stay up late. We will not sit in one place for hours at a time. We will incorporate learning from the tv, the internet, books, and from my personal experiences. We will take breaks, and eat when we are hungry, and drink when we are thirsty. We will go to the bathroom when we need to. We will socialize with others daily. We will exercise in some form daily.
We will work from where Caleb is right now, not from the 6th grade placement forced upon him. We will start with the workbooks I have collected over the years and refresh his memory of the basics in math and English- his weak points. We will spend a lot of time reading and writing from the books I have collected over the years. They are mostly National Geographic books for kids. I highly value the information included in them, and bought them on subjects I knew would interest Caleb. I will use all the resources available to me. When I run out, I will go to the library to collect more resources. I will find out how to access the library online as well. I will join homeschool groups and get more ideas as we go along. I think this is a long term solution, and not just because of the Covid-19, but because his school system has failed to educate him on his level, at his pace.
Caleb is very talkative, so I will use to that to our advantage to discuss everything we are trying to learn. He will not have to be quiet all day long. He will not have to wear gloves all day. He will not have to wear a mask all day long. He will not have to sit all day long. Even though he should be in middle school this year, he will continue to have a recess period in homeschool. He will learn to cook as a part of food science. He will learn to wash dishes and wash laundry as a part of home economics. He will learn to budget his money, and count money. He will learn to care for an animal (Bella) in animal science. He will conduct experiments and build things in science. He will learn to divide and learn fractions by cutting food and eating it. How much did you eat? How much is left? He will care for plants and learn to follow the care instructions. He will learn some military history and training. He will learn the importance of strength training and cardio, diet, and exercise. He will learn of diseases common today. He will continue to learn personal hygiene and the importance of personal space and cleanliness. We will spend time reading the blog2print books I have printed so far, and he will be able to process his own history and family history. We will learn photography, and I would like him to get involved in coding. This is just the stuff off the top of my head. Growing up means knowing how to care for yourself and keep yourself safe. We can discuss current events and he can write how it makes him feel.
I am not afraid to tune in to his needs and assist him where he is. I think going to school was stressful for him to begin with, because he didn't understand because he was so far behind. His school administrators kept pushing him in to the next grade level even when he had not mastered the grade he was in. He has been behind since first or second grade and never caught up.
Will it test my patience? Absolutely. Will it test his emotional control? Yep. Will we both emerge better off for it? You bet!
I think that overall it better for both our health and well being to stay at home and learn what we can with what we've got access to. I already learn on my own from home and set an example. He just has to follow my lead.
I put a blanket of love over my household, family and friends. I secure our wellness in the light of the universe. I access the energy of the Earth and heal our traumas to be able to move forward in our learning. I open our minds to possibilities as those were in our forefathers who were able to predict the great secrets of the stars.
Today was a good day! It is now 2:30am here. It is nice and cool in my house, very comfortable. I took a really good shower yesterday. We went to Walmart and bought our groceries with the EBT card! I bought a cart full of groceries for $150, that's a good deal for us. Sometimes it's closer to $300. I bought some canned foods for hurricane season. I feel I am well prepared in case we don't have electricity for more than a week. I still need lots of water though. That and some flashlights and batteries, and a way to charge our phones.
I wore my hair natural yesterday, just shampoo and conditioner, no styling products. It dried in such a way that I had a single curl in the middle of my forehead! LOL
I have to find a way to pay for the electrician to put in a permanent solution to our window unit. I am looking at my budget and I am not finding a way this month or next month. It is just going to have to wait.
Bella didn't even follow me out of the room this morning, like she normally does. She must be really comfortable on the bed. Caleb is asleep. Sponge Bob is on the tv in the living room.
My Aunt Lisa and I discussed about how I am going to manage homeschooling Caleb. I don't have all the answers. I just know it is the best option for us, and I have to make it work. I have faith that Caleb and I will be able to find a way to make it work. I don't know why I am so optimistic, but I am.
Caleb and I will make a code of conduct and rules to follow if he fails to live up to the code conduct. We are going to work a free form, fluid schedule that incorporates our basic living needs and appointments. We will take days off when I am not feeling well enough to teach. We will take days days off when he is not feeling well enough to learn. We will work weekends if we have to. We will not wake up early and we will not stay up late. We will not sit in one place for hours at a time. We will incorporate learning from the tv, the internet, books, and from my personal experiences. We will take breaks, and eat when we are hungry, and drink when we are thirsty. We will go to the bathroom when we need to. We will socialize with others daily. We will exercise in some form daily.
We will work from where Caleb is right now, not from the 6th grade placement forced upon him. We will start with the workbooks I have collected over the years and refresh his memory of the basics in math and English- his weak points. We will spend a lot of time reading and writing from the books I have collected over the years. They are mostly National Geographic books for kids. I highly value the information included in them, and bought them on subjects I knew would interest Caleb. I will use all the resources available to me. When I run out, I will go to the library to collect more resources. I will find out how to access the library online as well. I will join homeschool groups and get more ideas as we go along. I think this is a long term solution, and not just because of the Covid-19, but because his school system has failed to educate him on his level, at his pace.
Caleb is very talkative, so I will use to that to our advantage to discuss everything we are trying to learn. He will not have to be quiet all day long. He will not have to wear gloves all day. He will not have to wear a mask all day long. He will not have to sit all day long. Even though he should be in middle school this year, he will continue to have a recess period in homeschool. He will learn to cook as a part of food science. He will learn to wash dishes and wash laundry as a part of home economics. He will learn to budget his money, and count money. He will learn to care for an animal (Bella) in animal science. He will conduct experiments and build things in science. He will learn to divide and learn fractions by cutting food and eating it. How much did you eat? How much is left? He will care for plants and learn to follow the care instructions. He will learn some military history and training. He will learn the importance of strength training and cardio, diet, and exercise. He will learn of diseases common today. He will continue to learn personal hygiene and the importance of personal space and cleanliness. We will spend time reading the blog2print books I have printed so far, and he will be able to process his own history and family history. We will learn photography, and I would like him to get involved in coding. This is just the stuff off the top of my head. Growing up means knowing how to care for yourself and keep yourself safe. We can discuss current events and he can write how it makes him feel.
I am not afraid to tune in to his needs and assist him where he is. I think going to school was stressful for him to begin with, because he didn't understand because he was so far behind. His school administrators kept pushing him in to the next grade level even when he had not mastered the grade he was in. He has been behind since first or second grade and never caught up.
Will it test my patience? Absolutely. Will it test his emotional control? Yep. Will we both emerge better off for it? You bet!
I think that overall it better for both our health and well being to stay at home and learn what we can with what we've got access to. I already learn on my own from home and set an example. He just has to follow my lead.
I put a blanket of love over my household, family and friends. I secure our wellness in the light of the universe. I access the energy of the Earth and heal our traumas to be able to move forward in our learning. I open our minds to possibilities as those were in our forefathers who were able to predict the great secrets of the stars.
Friday, July 24, 2020
5 Year Journal Day 66
Today's prompt is "Who is your nemesis?" Trump. I hate Trump. Trump hates everything I hold dear.
It is 1:58 am here now. Yesterday was so much better. I was able to get some house work done because it was cooler inside. The central air guy came and checked out the central air system. Turns out the drain pipe was clogged! No repairs were needed! Oh such good news! I thought for sure something serious was wrong. I'm so happy to have my air conditioning back. It feels so much better in here. Even Bella is happier! Caleb slept under the window unit on the couch last night, and is there again tonight. I think he found his new sleep place. I'm loving sleeping on the bed. The drama is over for now!
I started the laundry yesterday. I started the dishwasher yesterday. I cleaned off the kitchen island yesterday. I made a tasty pot roast for dinner. It's a good place for me to be. I can take a regular shower now. I need "defunk and rerag."
I've been looking around for homeschool ideas. There's so much to do!
Caleb just woke up. Bella is laying in her favorite place to wait for me to go back to bed. Friends was on, but Caleb changed it back to Sponge Bob.
Now that the air conditioning drama is over, I have to reset myself. I have an appointment with my neurologist in the afternoon by phone. Other than that, I don't know what to do yet.
I'm at a loss for words, so here's a photo I took of Bella on the bed.
I love that tapestry in my room. It's so beautiful.
What's going on in the world? Well, a third body of an Army soldier has been found outside of of Ft. Hood. People are still going crazy about "Black Lives Matter." COVID-19 is running rampant in the U.S. Women are making it to powerful positions in the military for the first time. Parents are struggling with what decisions to make about the upcoming school year. The Presidential Election is coming up in November. Lane Bryant is filing Chapter 11. Catherine's is closing it's stores.
I feel so lost. I have been so concerned about my air conditioning this week and making it to appointments, and Bella, that I have lost sight of other things. I wonder what today holds. I would like to do more laundry, finish washing the dishes, clean the countertops and stovetop, clean the microwave, sweep the kitchen floor... and who knows what else I might be able to get done.
I know I am taking a staycation this weekend. I am going to veg out and relax. I want to catch up on some reading, and course work. I'm not going to to do any deep cleaning. So maybe I will go grocery shopping today, so I don't have to go out this weekend. It's a good thing I have the EBT, because I have no cash. I spent it all on air conditioning. It would totally suck without it, because I am out of my cereal and almond milk as well as other groceries.
It is 1:58 am here now. Yesterday was so much better. I was able to get some house work done because it was cooler inside. The central air guy came and checked out the central air system. Turns out the drain pipe was clogged! No repairs were needed! Oh such good news! I thought for sure something serious was wrong. I'm so happy to have my air conditioning back. It feels so much better in here. Even Bella is happier! Caleb slept under the window unit on the couch last night, and is there again tonight. I think he found his new sleep place. I'm loving sleeping on the bed. The drama is over for now!
I started the laundry yesterday. I started the dishwasher yesterday. I cleaned off the kitchen island yesterday. I made a tasty pot roast for dinner. It's a good place for me to be. I can take a regular shower now. I need "defunk and rerag."
I've been looking around for homeschool ideas. There's so much to do!
Caleb just woke up. Bella is laying in her favorite place to wait for me to go back to bed. Friends was on, but Caleb changed it back to Sponge Bob.
Now that the air conditioning drama is over, I have to reset myself. I have an appointment with my neurologist in the afternoon by phone. Other than that, I don't know what to do yet.
I'm at a loss for words, so here's a photo I took of Bella on the bed.
I love that tapestry in my room. It's so beautiful.
What's going on in the world? Well, a third body of an Army soldier has been found outside of of Ft. Hood. People are still going crazy about "Black Lives Matter." COVID-19 is running rampant in the U.S. Women are making it to powerful positions in the military for the first time. Parents are struggling with what decisions to make about the upcoming school year. The Presidential Election is coming up in November. Lane Bryant is filing Chapter 11. Catherine's is closing it's stores.
I feel so lost. I have been so concerned about my air conditioning this week and making it to appointments, and Bella, that I have lost sight of other things. I wonder what today holds. I would like to do more laundry, finish washing the dishes, clean the countertops and stovetop, clean the microwave, sweep the kitchen floor... and who knows what else I might be able to get done.
I know I am taking a staycation this weekend. I am going to veg out and relax. I want to catch up on some reading, and course work. I'm not going to to do any deep cleaning. So maybe I will go grocery shopping today, so I don't have to go out this weekend. It's a good thing I have the EBT, because I have no cash. I spent it all on air conditioning. It would totally suck without it, because I am out of my cereal and almond milk as well as other groceries.
Thursday, July 23, 2020
5 Year Journal Day 65
Today's prompt is "What's your favorite word right now?" Air conditioning.
Yesterday was so stressful! It is 2:27 am here now. In some miracle I was able to purchase a really big window unit air conditioner from Lowe's. It was too big for me to try to install it myself. I called a friend of mine, in the home improvement business to get information on someone who could install it for me. I was told to call at 8:00 am. So I call at 8:00 am, and make arrangements to have someone come over and install the window unit for me around 10:00 am. Ok. Well, my house is a disaster area because Caleb does not do his share of cleaning. He does not clean up after himself at all. So, I am trying to clear a path from the front door to the couch, where the window is. Caleb refuses to help me. I'm already starting to worry. Then, the guy doesn't show up, and it's time for us to leave the house for Caleb's appointment. I call him again, and find out he got hung up on a job, but could meet me when I get home again. Ok. I go to Caleb's appointment, where only patients are allowed inside. I have to wait in the car outside. Ok. So, I wait for an hour in the Mazda, with the air conditioner on, and think nothing of it. I was busy on Facebook. Caleb finishes his appointment, and his therapist asks me if anything has changed. I tell her how I told Caleb I would punch him if he continued to shove into me and invade my personal space violently. No stress there, right? It had to be said. Caleb is out of control. I will defend myself. He will not be allowed to bully me. So we leave, and I call the guy for the AC and let him know we are on our way home. He will be there about 15 minutes after we get home.
We get home and I can't wait to get water and AC. I eat a bowl of cold salad. The guy shows up, and problem #1 is that the AC unit is big and needs support to be safely out the window. His helper goes and cuts a 2x4 and brings a small piece of plywood. The AC unit fits in the window, no problem. The 2x4 supports the window unit on top of the plywood, cool. Come inside, and he says I should tape the ends of the unit on the inside of the house to keep the bugs out. He does it for me. Everything is good. I'm worried about the condition of my living room, which he had to walk through to get to the AC unit. He goes to plug in the air conditioner, and he can't! It's not a regular plug! It's a 240V plug, like a large appliance needs. Damnit! I didn't even notice. I'm fucked. He says I need an electrician. Just great. SO I call my friend again and get more help.
The electrician comes over and again, I'm worried about the condition of my home. It's embarrassing and there's not a thing I could do about it in the heat. He is kind about it. I am grateful. He says he can do a temporary fix to get the AC working for now. It's the end of the day and it's hot in here. I understand, because it's been a long day for me too. He gets everything done in record time, and I am so happy when he turns the AC on for the first time! He doesn't charge me full price, but unfortunately for me, does empty my bank account. I am again, grateful.
I was shaking when the window unit installers arrived. I had been in the hot van for an hour waiting. Air does not move through the air conditioner when the car is still. I think I was suffering a heat injury. I could barely stand up. My arms and and legs were wobbly.
In the end, it was all worth it. My Aunt Lisa has been helping me financially, or I could not have afforded to call to have the central air serviced or the window unit installed.
So much drama and in so much heat. I hate the heat. I couldn't bare another 100 degree house day. So, on top of all that, I had Caleb being a spoiled, entitled brat. He was only concerned with what he wanted to do, when he wanted to do it. He could not see or did not care about the larger picture. At one point he said " I don't even want this air conditioner" What the Hell?! He said that because he wanted to walk to the park instead of waiting for the electrician to finish his work. He complained and yelled at me when I told him to clean up the living room. It was just too much stress for me for one day.
I have not had a proper shower since Sunday. I only had a cold shower on Monday and that was to cool off. I stink. I look like madness personified. My hair is craziness. I'm not wearing a bra. I just don't look together. I don't feel together. Meanwhile, my dishes and laundry are piling up higher because it's too hot to work in here. I feel completely defeated. I'm only able to cook because I use a crock pot. It's too hot to use the stove.
Part of my PTSD is from having Caleb taken away when I had to be hospitalized. I fear to this day that he will be taken away again, and I won't get him back. I try so hard to do right by him, and he can be so ungrateful.
Poor Bella has been suffering with us too. I feel bad because I swore I would care for her, and I am doing the best I can, but it's not enough. I don't want to lose my dog. I try to keep her as cool as possible. I don't like to see her hot.
Things certainly took a drastic turn after the photo shoot, didn't it? Life is unpredictable. You just never know. We have survived to Thursday morning. I made it. I don't believe it. It's hard to believe I just lived through 100 degrees inside my own house. Here I am trying to freeze my house for the summer, and I'm living in a crock pot.
Now, I have the credit to do other home improvements, though. I didn't have it before. I have had the vinyl planks for the kitchen floor since last year, but was unable to afford the rest of the supplies to have it installed. I paid for the planks mostly with credit, and wanted to pay it off before buying the rest of the supplies. I also need cash to pay for the labor. I succeeded in paying off the planks on the credit card in March or so.
I want to correct either the kitchen floor or the kitchen cabinet first. I had a leak under the kitchen sink for a while, and mold grew. I've since had the leak fixed, and the cabinet has dried out. The cabinet door also came off. It's just one disaster after another in here. If I wasn't already comfortable living here, I would move. Plus, I just don't have money to fix the house enough to show. I have a very long list of repairs that need to be done. I was working on paying off debts so I could free up some money.
I am being watched over by good energy. I could not have dealt with these problems by myself. It was already overwhelming WITH help. I could not have done anything WITHOUT help.
Mathew is home safe. He is enjoying being home again, as far I know. The kids are ecstatic to have him back home. They all missed him so much. He is being spoiled by Nichole. He has eaten the crappiest food for the last 6 months or so, so she is getting him whatever he wants under the sun. He is being quarantined for 14 days, and can't leave the house. I think he needs the time to readjust back to home life. The time zone change and climate change are hard enough on a person. I bet it feels so good to sleep in his own bed once again. To take a long shower too. He has taken up weight lifting, and I know he misses that right now. He has lost his dad bod. He is muscle man now. I wish I could hug him and tell him I love him. His birthday is coming up.
I am not following through on my game plan that I made with my primary care provider. I will try to pick it back up again once things settle down. I have been resting better on my bed. I don't wake up in pain. I am taking those anti-inflammation supplements and think they may be helping too. I am taking them all at once for maximum effect. The downside to that is that I don't know how well each one is working or not working. I am trying to eat salmon once a week. I am trying to eat raw vegetables once a day. I want to eat a no meat dinner once a week, but have not done that yet. I quit walking all together. I was in too much pain and it was just too damn hot to move around. Maybe I will work with my weights, like Mathew is doing.
I have not been reading or listening to music with intention. I have not been meditating. The only thing I have kept up with is writing this blog. I have not been able to further research homeschooling. Time is running out. School starts here on August 17th. I need a working plan in place before then. I need to know if I want to risk putting Caleb in distance learning through his school or do full homeschooling. I just think it will be less stressful to do our own program. We won't have to be at a computer a certain times of the day everyday. I can take him to his appointments without being absent all day from school. we can catch up on the weekends. It will give me a job that is very meaningful to me. I mean, I couldn't get Caleb to log in more than once last school year. He just would not cooperate. He will be able to take breaks as needed, without disrupting the whole class. I won't be getting bad reviews of Caleb's behavior everyday from a ton of teachers. Seriously, it's got to be less stressful.
As of right now, Caleb has one weekly appointment with an occupational therapist, one bi-weekly appointment with a behavioral therapist, and one monthly appointment with a psychiatrist. He will by January be getting braces, so that will require multiple dental and orthodontic appointments. He gets an annual physical plus doctor visits for flu shots and random sicknesses. He has an eye doctor appointment that is getting rescheduled. That's a lot of appointments that happen during the school day!
Most of my appointments can be done online or by phone right now. In the future, I hope these options are still available because they save me 2 hours of driving back and forth.
Bella doesn't have many appointments. She just gets an annual check -up and follow-up shots.
I still have to take care of the car inspection coming up, and the registration and taxes. That's got to be done first thing in the morning.
Caleb is asleep on the couch, under the air conditioner. Sponge Bob is on tv. Bella has been sleeping near the kitchen on the floor. It is now 3:53 am here.
I forgot to mention that our WiFi and cable was disrupted yesterday as well. That was stressful. I guess Kyle, the window unit installer, accidentally unplugged something behind the couch. Caleb fixed it for us. He knew what it was. Thank God. Those were horrible 5 minutes, 5 minutes without WiFi.
Caleb just woke up and said "Mama!" LOL He can be sweet too. Little hellion. What would we do without our kids?
I need a day off to do nothing but relax and maybe read. This morning the central air guy is coming and will hopefully tell me good news, like nothing is broken and the ac just froze over. Hopefully I won't have to turn it off again. I don't want to test my window unit to see if it can keep the house cool. I'm so exhausted from stress and heat, heat and stress. I just want to take a regular shower, and come out be able to cool off like I normally do, without sweating. My ice maker can't keep up with demand. My freezer is full so I can't buy a bag of ice.
I am a WARRIOR! I was born a warrior. I now accept that it is true. I fight for everything I have. Life is hard. I'm grateful there weren't others living with us at this point. It would have been a bitchy hell.
I still have to find a way to buy Bella's food. Hmm. Gotta look at the budget. She is good for now, but I want to buy in advance in case we get locked down because of hurricane damage.
I finally got the copies of Caleb's IEP. I found out he will lose it if I homeschool him. Makes the decision-making process that much harder. It's such a time consuming process to get one in place. I don't want him to lose it, but it hasn't shown to be that helpful either. I really feel I can do better with Caleb by giving him one on one attention for all of his subjects. That's something they can't afford to do at his school.
I'm still hot, and want to go cool down in my room.
Yesterday was so stressful! It is 2:27 am here now. In some miracle I was able to purchase a really big window unit air conditioner from Lowe's. It was too big for me to try to install it myself. I called a friend of mine, in the home improvement business to get information on someone who could install it for me. I was told to call at 8:00 am. So I call at 8:00 am, and make arrangements to have someone come over and install the window unit for me around 10:00 am. Ok. Well, my house is a disaster area because Caleb does not do his share of cleaning. He does not clean up after himself at all. So, I am trying to clear a path from the front door to the couch, where the window is. Caleb refuses to help me. I'm already starting to worry. Then, the guy doesn't show up, and it's time for us to leave the house for Caleb's appointment. I call him again, and find out he got hung up on a job, but could meet me when I get home again. Ok. I go to Caleb's appointment, where only patients are allowed inside. I have to wait in the car outside. Ok. So, I wait for an hour in the Mazda, with the air conditioner on, and think nothing of it. I was busy on Facebook. Caleb finishes his appointment, and his therapist asks me if anything has changed. I tell her how I told Caleb I would punch him if he continued to shove into me and invade my personal space violently. No stress there, right? It had to be said. Caleb is out of control. I will defend myself. He will not be allowed to bully me. So we leave, and I call the guy for the AC and let him know we are on our way home. He will be there about 15 minutes after we get home.
We get home and I can't wait to get water and AC. I eat a bowl of cold salad. The guy shows up, and problem #1 is that the AC unit is big and needs support to be safely out the window. His helper goes and cuts a 2x4 and brings a small piece of plywood. The AC unit fits in the window, no problem. The 2x4 supports the window unit on top of the plywood, cool. Come inside, and he says I should tape the ends of the unit on the inside of the house to keep the bugs out. He does it for me. Everything is good. I'm worried about the condition of my living room, which he had to walk through to get to the AC unit. He goes to plug in the air conditioner, and he can't! It's not a regular plug! It's a 240V plug, like a large appliance needs. Damnit! I didn't even notice. I'm fucked. He says I need an electrician. Just great. SO I call my friend again and get more help.
The electrician comes over and again, I'm worried about the condition of my home. It's embarrassing and there's not a thing I could do about it in the heat. He is kind about it. I am grateful. He says he can do a temporary fix to get the AC working for now. It's the end of the day and it's hot in here. I understand, because it's been a long day for me too. He gets everything done in record time, and I am so happy when he turns the AC on for the first time! He doesn't charge me full price, but unfortunately for me, does empty my bank account. I am again, grateful.
I was shaking when the window unit installers arrived. I had been in the hot van for an hour waiting. Air does not move through the air conditioner when the car is still. I think I was suffering a heat injury. I could barely stand up. My arms and and legs were wobbly.
In the end, it was all worth it. My Aunt Lisa has been helping me financially, or I could not have afforded to call to have the central air serviced or the window unit installed.
So much drama and in so much heat. I hate the heat. I couldn't bare another 100 degree house day. So, on top of all that, I had Caleb being a spoiled, entitled brat. He was only concerned with what he wanted to do, when he wanted to do it. He could not see or did not care about the larger picture. At one point he said " I don't even want this air conditioner" What the Hell?! He said that because he wanted to walk to the park instead of waiting for the electrician to finish his work. He complained and yelled at me when I told him to clean up the living room. It was just too much stress for me for one day.
I have not had a proper shower since Sunday. I only had a cold shower on Monday and that was to cool off. I stink. I look like madness personified. My hair is craziness. I'm not wearing a bra. I just don't look together. I don't feel together. Meanwhile, my dishes and laundry are piling up higher because it's too hot to work in here. I feel completely defeated. I'm only able to cook because I use a crock pot. It's too hot to use the stove.
Part of my PTSD is from having Caleb taken away when I had to be hospitalized. I fear to this day that he will be taken away again, and I won't get him back. I try so hard to do right by him, and he can be so ungrateful.
Poor Bella has been suffering with us too. I feel bad because I swore I would care for her, and I am doing the best I can, but it's not enough. I don't want to lose my dog. I try to keep her as cool as possible. I don't like to see her hot.
Things certainly took a drastic turn after the photo shoot, didn't it? Life is unpredictable. You just never know. We have survived to Thursday morning. I made it. I don't believe it. It's hard to believe I just lived through 100 degrees inside my own house. Here I am trying to freeze my house for the summer, and I'm living in a crock pot.
Now, I have the credit to do other home improvements, though. I didn't have it before. I have had the vinyl planks for the kitchen floor since last year, but was unable to afford the rest of the supplies to have it installed. I paid for the planks mostly with credit, and wanted to pay it off before buying the rest of the supplies. I also need cash to pay for the labor. I succeeded in paying off the planks on the credit card in March or so.
I want to correct either the kitchen floor or the kitchen cabinet first. I had a leak under the kitchen sink for a while, and mold grew. I've since had the leak fixed, and the cabinet has dried out. The cabinet door also came off. It's just one disaster after another in here. If I wasn't already comfortable living here, I would move. Plus, I just don't have money to fix the house enough to show. I have a very long list of repairs that need to be done. I was working on paying off debts so I could free up some money.
I am being watched over by good energy. I could not have dealt with these problems by myself. It was already overwhelming WITH help. I could not have done anything WITHOUT help.
Mathew is home safe. He is enjoying being home again, as far I know. The kids are ecstatic to have him back home. They all missed him so much. He is being spoiled by Nichole. He has eaten the crappiest food for the last 6 months or so, so she is getting him whatever he wants under the sun. He is being quarantined for 14 days, and can't leave the house. I think he needs the time to readjust back to home life. The time zone change and climate change are hard enough on a person. I bet it feels so good to sleep in his own bed once again. To take a long shower too. He has taken up weight lifting, and I know he misses that right now. He has lost his dad bod. He is muscle man now. I wish I could hug him and tell him I love him. His birthday is coming up.
I am not following through on my game plan that I made with my primary care provider. I will try to pick it back up again once things settle down. I have been resting better on my bed. I don't wake up in pain. I am taking those anti-inflammation supplements and think they may be helping too. I am taking them all at once for maximum effect. The downside to that is that I don't know how well each one is working or not working. I am trying to eat salmon once a week. I am trying to eat raw vegetables once a day. I want to eat a no meat dinner once a week, but have not done that yet. I quit walking all together. I was in too much pain and it was just too damn hot to move around. Maybe I will work with my weights, like Mathew is doing.
I have not been reading or listening to music with intention. I have not been meditating. The only thing I have kept up with is writing this blog. I have not been able to further research homeschooling. Time is running out. School starts here on August 17th. I need a working plan in place before then. I need to know if I want to risk putting Caleb in distance learning through his school or do full homeschooling. I just think it will be less stressful to do our own program. We won't have to be at a computer a certain times of the day everyday. I can take him to his appointments without being absent all day from school. we can catch up on the weekends. It will give me a job that is very meaningful to me. I mean, I couldn't get Caleb to log in more than once last school year. He just would not cooperate. He will be able to take breaks as needed, without disrupting the whole class. I won't be getting bad reviews of Caleb's behavior everyday from a ton of teachers. Seriously, it's got to be less stressful.
As of right now, Caleb has one weekly appointment with an occupational therapist, one bi-weekly appointment with a behavioral therapist, and one monthly appointment with a psychiatrist. He will by January be getting braces, so that will require multiple dental and orthodontic appointments. He gets an annual physical plus doctor visits for flu shots and random sicknesses. He has an eye doctor appointment that is getting rescheduled. That's a lot of appointments that happen during the school day!
Most of my appointments can be done online or by phone right now. In the future, I hope these options are still available because they save me 2 hours of driving back and forth.
Bella doesn't have many appointments. She just gets an annual check -up and follow-up shots.
I still have to take care of the car inspection coming up, and the registration and taxes. That's got to be done first thing in the morning.
Caleb is asleep on the couch, under the air conditioner. Sponge Bob is on tv. Bella has been sleeping near the kitchen on the floor. It is now 3:53 am here.
I forgot to mention that our WiFi and cable was disrupted yesterday as well. That was stressful. I guess Kyle, the window unit installer, accidentally unplugged something behind the couch. Caleb fixed it for us. He knew what it was. Thank God. Those were horrible 5 minutes, 5 minutes without WiFi.
Caleb just woke up and said "Mama!" LOL He can be sweet too. Little hellion. What would we do without our kids?
I need a day off to do nothing but relax and maybe read. This morning the central air guy is coming and will hopefully tell me good news, like nothing is broken and the ac just froze over. Hopefully I won't have to turn it off again. I don't want to test my window unit to see if it can keep the house cool. I'm so exhausted from stress and heat, heat and stress. I just want to take a regular shower, and come out be able to cool off like I normally do, without sweating. My ice maker can't keep up with demand. My freezer is full so I can't buy a bag of ice.
I am a WARRIOR! I was born a warrior. I now accept that it is true. I fight for everything I have. Life is hard. I'm grateful there weren't others living with us at this point. It would have been a bitchy hell.
I still have to find a way to buy Bella's food. Hmm. Gotta look at the budget. She is good for now, but I want to buy in advance in case we get locked down because of hurricane damage.
I finally got the copies of Caleb's IEP. I found out he will lose it if I homeschool him. Makes the decision-making process that much harder. It's such a time consuming process to get one in place. I don't want him to lose it, but it hasn't shown to be that helpful either. I really feel I can do better with Caleb by giving him one on one attention for all of his subjects. That's something they can't afford to do at his school.
I'm still hot, and want to go cool down in my room.
Wednesday, July 22, 2020
5 Year Journal Day 64
Today's prompt is "What would you like to ask your mother?" What was it like to be a dancer?
It is now 11:38 pm here. Today was another hellacious day. I found out I was supposed to have the fan on, while the central air was off in order to thaw it out. SO the ac went back off, the fan turned on. I'm still having trouble with the air conditioning. I decided to put in a service request through American Home Shield, a subscription service I use to cover home appliance repairs.
After talking to my Aunt Lisa, I decided to go through my options with buying a window unit. I have a Lowe's credit card, but the limit was very low. I am low on cash. Window units that are big enough for my needs are expensive. Sooo, I requested a limit increase. I know, I was trying to pay off all my debt, and here I am am getting into more debt. What am I supposed to do? I have a child and a fur baby who need to be cool in this heat wave where heat indexes are over 100 degrees everyday. Besides, there is no telling how long we will have to wait before the central air is working again. I can't afford to stay in a hotel room for that long. Hell, I couldn't afford to stay in a hotel around hear for one night! I looked! It's crazy.
I got the photos back from our photo shoot on Sunday! Here they are!
It is now 11:38 pm here. Today was another hellacious day. I found out I was supposed to have the fan on, while the central air was off in order to thaw it out. SO the ac went back off, the fan turned on. I'm still having trouble with the air conditioning. I decided to put in a service request through American Home Shield, a subscription service I use to cover home appliance repairs.
After talking to my Aunt Lisa, I decided to go through my options with buying a window unit. I have a Lowe's credit card, but the limit was very low. I am low on cash. Window units that are big enough for my needs are expensive. Sooo, I requested a limit increase. I know, I was trying to pay off all my debt, and here I am am getting into more debt. What am I supposed to do? I have a child and a fur baby who need to be cool in this heat wave where heat indexes are over 100 degrees everyday. Besides, there is no telling how long we will have to wait before the central air is working again. I can't afford to stay in a hotel room for that long. Hell, I couldn't afford to stay in a hotel around hear for one night! I looked! It's crazy.
I got the photos back from our photo shoot on Sunday! Here they are!
I wish my hair was longer, and that we had more headshots, but this was a mini photo shoot session. It was only 20 minutes. Our next photo shoot will be in a studio with air conditioning! LOL Look at how tall Caleb is! I wish you could see my eyes. I decided to leave my glasses on. My makeup is hardly noticeable, and I had a lot on. I don't look as great as I felt I looked. Caleb had a hard time with a real smile. I tried to make him laugh, it's the easiest way to get him to have a real smile. The same for me. I am a horrible model. LOL I bothered Caleb until I laughed. Well, that marks 7 years since our last family photo shoot. I hope to make this a yearly thing, if I can manage the cost. He was so little the last time we took family photos.
So, I turned the central air back on, and there is no air flow from the vents. It was over 94 degrees in here, and now it is 80 something degrees. Something is working, just not working well.
I woke up from the temperature change. Bella was sleeping in the bed with me. Caleb wanted to watch Sponge Bob, so he slept on the couch. This time tomorrow it should be nice and cold in here. So, I did buy a window unit from Lowe's. There was a big unit that was out of the box and discounted by more than $200. I couldn't resist. I bought it. It's a unit that should cool 1,000 sqft. My house is only a something like 1268 sqft. I'm putting the window unit over the couch where Caleb likes to sleep. It is the only window that doesn't have anything in front of it.
My house is a disaster area. It has only gotten worse with the air conditioning going out. It's embarrassing. I told Caleb that as soon as it gets cool enough in here, we have to gut the living room.
I don't know if I have mentioned that we are homeschooling this year. Yeah, I know right. What option do I have though? I'm not sending Caleb to school. He refuses to do the distance learning provided. This is the only other choice. So, I have to prepare for the new school year. He has catching up to do. It is vital to me to get him up to speed so that he can go back to school next year, if it's safe. He is behind in math and English. He loves science, but we are going to focus on his weaknesses before incorporating other subjects. He is required to take an end-of-year test by the state of North Carolina. I want to make this as fun as I can. I want to get him interested in school for reasons other than socializing.
I haven't been doing much since the air has been out. Just going to Caleb's appointments in person now. He has 4 appointments this week. It's a nice way to get some ac time in the Mazda.
Mathew is home, and happy to have access to real food! OMG! The poor guy has been eating so little down range. The portion sizes sucked, and the food was awful tasting. He is sooo happy to have home cooked food. He requested a big breakfast this morning of eggs, bacon, sausage, and hash browns! As much as he could eat! I think Nichole bought ribeye steaks for his dinner. I know it must feel so good to be clean, in civilian clothes, in air conditioning, and to sleep on his bed. I imagine it's worse than living in the field, being down range. It was over 120 degrees out there! When it's 100 degrees in my house, I eat cold salad for dinner, but a soldier can't live off salad. I have access to ice in my unlimited cold water drinks. I respect any service member who has deployed, as I never have.
Caleb had an unexpected rage outburst this morning. It came out of nowhere. I was simply asking him to put a trash bag in the trash can and he exploded with anger. He had only taken his medication a few minutes prior, so... I don't know.
He is sleeping on the couch now, and it is 12:26 am here. Bella is laid out on the floor sleeping. Friends is on tv. The summer is flying by, and the school year will start soon. I am running out of time to prepare. I wish I had thought of homeschooling sooner, but honestly I expected that this whole corona virus would be better by now. I hate Trump so much. His lack of leadership is causing all these problems. He only cares about the money in his pockets. I don't know how anybody could support him for another term. I don't know how anyone could support him for the first term!
I have to try to put together a free homeschooling curriculum for Caleb. I have already found one good resource online. I am wondering if I need to buy him a laptop again. One problem at a time. One problem at a time. Let's get some air conditioning going in here.
I can't wait for fall and winter. I love the cold air. I love leggings and sweaters. I love boots. I love the holidays. I love holiday movies. The only good part about summer is the sunshine, longer days, and no school, so no early waking up to catch the bus.
Caleb can't find the remote control. I don't know where it is. I'm getting too hot in here. I guess I got wrap this up.
Tuesday, July 21, 2020
5 Year Journal Day 63
Today's prompt is "Did you sleep alone last night?" No, no I did not. I had Caleb in the bed taking up most of the space of my Queen size mattress. I had Bella in my room in her crate so she wouldn't hog all the air conditioning and do the same thing Caleb did. You know, we found out at his doctor's appointment that he is 114 lbs., and 5 feet 4.5 inches with his shoes on. He's grown a lot! With his shoes on, he is half an inch taller than I am without my shoes on.
Yesterday was Hell. The thermostat in the house read 100 degrees before we went to bed. When I read the instructions to thaw the air conditioner, I did not see the part that said to leave the fan on. So, I wasted an entire 24 hours in the blistering heat for nothing. My child suffered and so did my dog. I woke up this morning feeling cool. Somebody got up and put the air conditioner back on although I still do not feel the air moving from the vents. The thermostat read 80 degrees in the house when I got up. I didn't think I could live in 80 degrees, but now I know I've survived being in the 100 degree house. Thank God for the portable air conditioner Caleb moved to my room. We never would have made it without that.
Yesterday afternoon and throughout the evening we all had ice cream to cool off. Caleb took a bath, and I took the coldest shower I could. I had been sweating heavily all day. I threw on a short casual comfortable dress after my shower so I wouldn't have to dig to find shorts. Caleb thought I was too dressed up. LOL
I hope the ac is fully thawed or it might happen again at the worst possible time. I'd rather suffer now than later. Just get it all over with while I can still handle it. I changed the temperature I seek to 77 degrees. I will have to live with that for the rest of the summer. I should have bought a bugger ac unit when I had the chance.
I must have woken Caleb up when I went to my bathroom. He is awake now. It is 7:38 am here now.
Mathew came home from deployment early in the wee hours this morning! I am so happy! He is safe at home, and his kids were probably hugging and kissing him all over when they saw him! Such sweetness from the babes. Nichole is ecstatic. I'm so happy!
Well, I am once again behind on my list of things to do, but anybody would be. I can't work in a 100 degree house.
Bella was awake when I got up, and she wanted out of her cage. I let her out because I know how she likes to follow me around. She misses the couch time. When I am moving around the house, she keeps our spot warm on the couch and watches me. I love her so much. I would never want anything to harm her. I worried about her while we were gone to Caleb's appointments yesterday. I was going to take her with us so she could escape the heat, but we decided to leave her home in her crate. We put the crate in my room, where the portable ac unit is running. We put a fan directly on her, and left a bowl of cold water in her crate with her. Still, I was worried about my fur baby. I hurried home as quickly as I could. I had to make a pit stop at the grocery store on the way home because I wanted some salad ingredients and ice cream. I shared my ice cream with Bella. She enjoyed it thoroughly. Caleb gave her an ice rub, to cool her head off. He also tried to wet her coat, so she could cool off while she dried off. I was going to give her a cold shower, and decided not to.
I am going to have to turn the ac back off until it completely thaws. It is cooler in here, but there is no air movement from the vents. I don't want to break anything. I want it running at 100% ok.
Caleb just went for a walk. I can't focus on my blog when he is chatting me up.
I finally got my EBT card yesterday! Awesome! I really needed that. Like, really, really.
Today Caleb has an appointment, in person, in the afternoon. I am going to take Bella with me, as I am not allowed to go in the office due to Coronavirus concerns. We can sit in the ac in the Mazda together. She likes car rides. She is really going to like being cooled off.
I didn't see any heat wave related posts for today, so hopefully it won't be as bad. I doubt it.
Today is only Tuesday, but I feel like I've been in a time warp.
I should be getting our photos back today sometime. I am excited to see how they turned out! I can't wait to share them with everyone!
I don't remember mentioning it, but I had a so-called friend comment on my pre-photo shoot photo in the most horrible way. I sent it to him via text message. I thought it was a good picture of me. He responded " You look like you were gangbanged by fucking clowns" He continued with "You look like roz from monsters Inc". Then there was " Hell ya looked way better when ya were in the army now ya like negative 10" I didn't have the patience to put up with it any longer and blocked him. He is no friend of mine. And to think, I am the reason that disabled veteran isn't homeless and has a solid income from the VA. That's the thanks I get. Bullying can happen at any age. It's not just kids.
I wish I could find people who wouldn't treat me like garbage to talk to on a regular basis. My value is not based on my looks, although, I find myself to be beautifully me.
Caleb is back home. I just told him that I had to turn the ac back off because I don't want to overload the system if it is not completely thawed. He is eating my ice cream because he ate all of his already. LOL We will be getting more ice cream today. I want to find puppy ice cream. They might have some at the pet store.
Any who, going to take it pretty easy as it is going to get hot again today. Just going to take care of my family, and make sure we all stay cool some kind of way.
Yesterday was Hell. The thermostat in the house read 100 degrees before we went to bed. When I read the instructions to thaw the air conditioner, I did not see the part that said to leave the fan on. So, I wasted an entire 24 hours in the blistering heat for nothing. My child suffered and so did my dog. I woke up this morning feeling cool. Somebody got up and put the air conditioner back on although I still do not feel the air moving from the vents. The thermostat read 80 degrees in the house when I got up. I didn't think I could live in 80 degrees, but now I know I've survived being in the 100 degree house. Thank God for the portable air conditioner Caleb moved to my room. We never would have made it without that.
Yesterday afternoon and throughout the evening we all had ice cream to cool off. Caleb took a bath, and I took the coldest shower I could. I had been sweating heavily all day. I threw on a short casual comfortable dress after my shower so I wouldn't have to dig to find shorts. Caleb thought I was too dressed up. LOL
I hope the ac is fully thawed or it might happen again at the worst possible time. I'd rather suffer now than later. Just get it all over with while I can still handle it. I changed the temperature I seek to 77 degrees. I will have to live with that for the rest of the summer. I should have bought a bugger ac unit when I had the chance.
I must have woken Caleb up when I went to my bathroom. He is awake now. It is 7:38 am here now.
Mathew came home from deployment early in the wee hours this morning! I am so happy! He is safe at home, and his kids were probably hugging and kissing him all over when they saw him! Such sweetness from the babes. Nichole is ecstatic. I'm so happy!
Well, I am once again behind on my list of things to do, but anybody would be. I can't work in a 100 degree house.
Bella was awake when I got up, and she wanted out of her cage. I let her out because I know how she likes to follow me around. She misses the couch time. When I am moving around the house, she keeps our spot warm on the couch and watches me. I love her so much. I would never want anything to harm her. I worried about her while we were gone to Caleb's appointments yesterday. I was going to take her with us so she could escape the heat, but we decided to leave her home in her crate. We put the crate in my room, where the portable ac unit is running. We put a fan directly on her, and left a bowl of cold water in her crate with her. Still, I was worried about my fur baby. I hurried home as quickly as I could. I had to make a pit stop at the grocery store on the way home because I wanted some salad ingredients and ice cream. I shared my ice cream with Bella. She enjoyed it thoroughly. Caleb gave her an ice rub, to cool her head off. He also tried to wet her coat, so she could cool off while she dried off. I was going to give her a cold shower, and decided not to.
I am going to have to turn the ac back off until it completely thaws. It is cooler in here, but there is no air movement from the vents. I don't want to break anything. I want it running at 100% ok.
Caleb just went for a walk. I can't focus on my blog when he is chatting me up.
I finally got my EBT card yesterday! Awesome! I really needed that. Like, really, really.
Today Caleb has an appointment, in person, in the afternoon. I am going to take Bella with me, as I am not allowed to go in the office due to Coronavirus concerns. We can sit in the ac in the Mazda together. She likes car rides. She is really going to like being cooled off.
I didn't see any heat wave related posts for today, so hopefully it won't be as bad. I doubt it.
Today is only Tuesday, but I feel like I've been in a time warp.
I should be getting our photos back today sometime. I am excited to see how they turned out! I can't wait to share them with everyone!
I don't remember mentioning it, but I had a so-called friend comment on my pre-photo shoot photo in the most horrible way. I sent it to him via text message. I thought it was a good picture of me. He responded " You look like you were gangbanged by fucking clowns" He continued with "You look like roz from monsters Inc". Then there was " Hell ya looked way better when ya were in the army now ya like negative 10" I didn't have the patience to put up with it any longer and blocked him. He is no friend of mine. And to think, I am the reason that disabled veteran isn't homeless and has a solid income from the VA. That's the thanks I get. Bullying can happen at any age. It's not just kids.
I wish I could find people who wouldn't treat me like garbage to talk to on a regular basis. My value is not based on my looks, although, I find myself to be beautifully me.
Caleb is back home. I just told him that I had to turn the ac back off because I don't want to overload the system if it is not completely thawed. He is eating my ice cream because he ate all of his already. LOL We will be getting more ice cream today. I want to find puppy ice cream. They might have some at the pet store.
Any who, going to take it pretty easy as it is going to get hot again today. Just going to take care of my family, and make sure we all stay cool some kind of way.
Monday, July 20, 2020
5 Year Journal Day 62
Today's prompt is " Salty or sweet?" If the question is for something to eat, I choose salty over sweet. If the question is about me, I think I more sweet than salty.
Currently it is 6:38 am here and 94 degrees in the house. The air conditioning unit has frozen, and needs to thaw. It has been off since last night. I HATE the heat! Today we have a heat advisory for temperatures feeling like 103 degrees. Just my luck!
I am in as little clothes as I can be and still be decent. I am sweating as I type this. I have been in front of 2 fans and a portable air conditioner all night, but it was still too hot. Caleb slept in the heat, by his own choice. He wanted to sleep on the couch and watch Sponge Bob.
Bella was in the bedroom with me. Oh yeah! I slept on my bed, in my bedroom! Caleb has appointments today, and I don't know what to do to keep Bella cool. I don't want her to get sick or die because of the heat index. I would take her with us, but I have to go in with Caleb. I won't leave her in the car by herself.
I am so miserable is this heat. I must have died and gone to Hell.
Yesterday we had the photo shoot at 6:30 am. I was sweating by the end of it because it was already over 82 degrees outside. I hate Summer. I can't wait to see the photos though!
I was in bed for most of the day yesterday because Caleb would not let me sleep during the night. It was cooler in the room then.
It's been at least 12 hours since I turned the central air off. I just tested it to see if I could leave it back on again, and no. No air is moving.
I will not be doing much today as the heat index is going to be over 100 degrees, and I don't know when I can turn the air conditioner back on. I will stay in my room when I am home.
I already need a cold shower to cool off, and I just got up a few minutes ago.
I took some pre-photo shoot photos.
Before make-up.
After make-up.
After the photo shoot, sweating.
I didn't take any photos of Caleb. He is a surprise!
Currently it is 6:38 am here and 94 degrees in the house. The air conditioning unit has frozen, and needs to thaw. It has been off since last night. I HATE the heat! Today we have a heat advisory for temperatures feeling like 103 degrees. Just my luck!
I am in as little clothes as I can be and still be decent. I am sweating as I type this. I have been in front of 2 fans and a portable air conditioner all night, but it was still too hot. Caleb slept in the heat, by his own choice. He wanted to sleep on the couch and watch Sponge Bob.
Bella was in the bedroom with me. Oh yeah! I slept on my bed, in my bedroom! Caleb has appointments today, and I don't know what to do to keep Bella cool. I don't want her to get sick or die because of the heat index. I would take her with us, but I have to go in with Caleb. I won't leave her in the car by herself.
I am so miserable is this heat. I must have died and gone to Hell.
Yesterday we had the photo shoot at 6:30 am. I was sweating by the end of it because it was already over 82 degrees outside. I hate Summer. I can't wait to see the photos though!
I was in bed for most of the day yesterday because Caleb would not let me sleep during the night. It was cooler in the room then.
It's been at least 12 hours since I turned the central air off. I just tested it to see if I could leave it back on again, and no. No air is moving.
I will not be doing much today as the heat index is going to be over 100 degrees, and I don't know when I can turn the air conditioner back on. I will stay in my room when I am home.
I already need a cold shower to cool off, and I just got up a few minutes ago.
I took some pre-photo shoot photos.
After make-up.
After the photo shoot, sweating.
I didn't take any photos of Caleb. He is a surprise!
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