Yesterday was a horrible day of pain for me. I had a fibromyalgia flare up. I have no idea the reason why. Usually it comes after trying to push myself too hard physically, or it's stress related. Maybe I over did it trying to clean the carpet. In any case, it was painful. There is no more medication I can take currently to help ease the pain. The only thing I can do is rest and wait for it to pass. I feel like I wasted the whole day, because I had plans to continue my cleaning job and couldn't do anything. I got no work done, at all. My whole body hurt, from my head to my toes. I felt like I was hit by a 2 ton truck.
I did not walk yesterday. I did exactly what was absolutely necessary, and that's it. I got up to make my water drink, I made a salad for lunch, and reheated leftovers for dinner. I took my medications, and I rested under my weighted blanket and next to Bella. Caleb wanted me to cut his hair for him, but I couldn't manage it. Jonathan came over and mowed the grass for me. Usually I chat with him upon paying him, but I felt so bad, and I told him so, that I just paid him and came back to the couch.
I decided to withdraw my application for WoVen Peer Leader training. I just can't manage any more right now.
It looks like I will be home schooling Caleb for 2020-2021 school year. I don't want to send him to school, and he has already shown that he can't handle distance learning on the computer. I've had a talk with him about it. He chose to home school out of his options, so I hope he will be cooperative when it comes time.
I just feel like I've been in pain a lot lately. It sucks. I need a break. I wish I could be fixed.
I did go out and pay the water bill, and paid my other bills online. I did go out and restock on Dew. While I was at Lowe's Foods, I thought to buy a few groceries. I bought romaine lettuce, green leaf lettuce, red leaf lettuce, beefsteak tomatoes, cucumbers, and a couple pounds of salmon. I don't normally buy salad ingredients, because up until recently Caleb wouldn't eat it. The tomatoes were so ripe and delicious. I could taste heaven in the slices. So juicy. So good. The best part of my day may have been eating that freshly made salad.
I ended up attending the WoVen graduates Facebook video chat. I spoke one on one with Michelle. my Peer Leader. She helped me work some things out. She has fibromyalgia too. She is the first person I have met who also has fibromyalgia.
It's 5:34 am here now. I'm still tired, but I couldn't go back to sleep. Caleb is sleeping and so is Bella. Sponge Bob is on the tv.
I decided to do a random phone check on Caleb's phone. Every so often I check his phone for what he might be trying to hide. I have parental controls on his phone, but he manages to find things I don't want him to have. That was the case yesterday. I deleted everything I didn't want him to have, and the source of the photos. I told him once and I told him again yesterday that if I find things on there that are inappropriate, I will take all his games away, and not let him have the phone for anything other than emergency calls.
Billy called me yesterday to check up on me. I guess he saw my facebook post about feeling badly. He decided he was going to get drunk. He called again later after having a whole bunch of drinks, and was trying to proposition me with things I don't want to discuss. I denied his offers, and ended the phone call to go to sleep. He is unpredictable, and I hate that. I can't trust him because he is always after the next buzz or high. Sucks.
Today I have my dental appointment. I am no longer attempting to attend the WoVen group on Wednesdays. I rescheduled Caleb's occupational therapy so I could know for sure that I can make it to my appointment before the authorization runs out. I don't think I'm going to do much more than take a shower and drive to Wilmington to my appointment and come back home.
I feel like I have already let Mathew and Nichole down by not walking yesterday. If they only knew how much pain I was in, they would not expect me to work through it. It's hard to believe that I worked through the pain a lot in the Army. I don't have that kind of insecurity about not being able to perform anymore. At least not when it comes to walking. I know when I can and can't push myself. Yesterday was not the day to try to push myself any harder than I did. I mean, I literally had to make the choice between continuing to lay down or getting up to make my water drink. I stayed laying down as long as possible, but I knew that drinking water would make me feel a little better, so I finally got up, even though it hurt, and made my water drink. Once I was done, I went back to the couch though. I'm glad I had leftovers to eat, because I was in no shape to cook.
I don't have my supplements yet, or I would have tried them out. They are all suppose to be helpful for inflammation. I'm sure that taking all of them together would have had some effect, hopefully positive.
I worry about having these kind of bad days when I am home schooling Caleb. We may have to work on weekends to make up the days I miss during the week. I wanted to start the school year early so I could have the days I need to take off included in the school year already. We could get a head start, and I wouldn't be robbing my son of school time when I fall ill.
I need to know how much the end of year testing costs. I want to find a curriculum to follow and make adjustments for Caleb since he is behind his peers in learning. I think that working one on one will benefit him greatly. I also think that being able to take breaks more often than in regular school will be helpful in creating a work drive in him. By being able to reward his efforts in small chunks, I think I will be more successful at teaching him, than a school teacher because he needs the extra attention that they just can't afford to give him with all the other students in the classroom. It's going to take sacrifices on both our parts. I am willing to try. I don't feel as if we have a choice. It is more important to me that Caleb learns what he is going to need in the future, than to sit in a classroom daydreaming and avoiding work by going to the bathroom. He is really behind in Math and English. He is behind in Science and History. His hand writing needs a lot of work. I will try to have fun by adding art classes, and time where I read to him and he reads to me. We will have daily outside time. He loves to walk to the park. We will have dog care time! Yes Bella is going to be a part of his training! I have books from previous summers that have not been used, that we can use to catch him up on his studies. He has countless National Geographic books that I bought for him that we can go over together. He loves World War 2 information, so I will try to find stuff for kids about that. He also loves cars. I would like to get him interested in coding. One step at a time.
I am feeling more awake now. It is 6:09 am here now. I have had 2 Dews so far. Nichole wants me to cut my normal amount about 6 cans of Dew to half that. I guess I can only have one more today then.
I really don't want to catch COVID-19. I had allergies pretty bad for a day and a half and I hated every second of it. I can't even imagine being on a respirator for weeks in a hospital where no one could visit. I don't want to be separated from my little family. I don't want to be sick at all. I have enough health issues, I don't want any more. As a matter of fact, if I could give away my health issues, I would.
Last Dew for the day has been opened. I have to either cut Caleb's hair, or take him to get a hair cut today. Maybe we will wait until tomorrow when I don't have an appointment.
I think I need to be wearing a "I have diabetes" bracelet. I want to buy one, but money is already stretched. I am trying to figure out how to buy Bella's food as it is. I need to buy enough at one time to cover the possibility of not being able to leave the house for a month, and not be able to get deliveries too. Hurricane season is here and I need to prepare as much as I can.
I finished the last can of Dew for the day, and I've run out of things to write about. The sun is coming up. Back to the couch for me!
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