Today's prompt is "What's your favorite word right now?" Air conditioning.
Yesterday was so stressful! It is 2:27 am here now. In some miracle I was able to purchase a really big window unit air conditioner from Lowe's. It was too big for me to try to install it myself. I called a friend of mine, in the home improvement business to get information on someone who could install it for me. I was told to call at 8:00 am. So I call at 8:00 am, and make arrangements to have someone come over and install the window unit for me around 10:00 am. Ok. Well, my house is a disaster area because Caleb does not do his share of cleaning. He does not clean up after himself at all. So, I am trying to clear a path from the front door to the couch, where the window is. Caleb refuses to help me. I'm already starting to worry. Then, the guy doesn't show up, and it's time for us to leave the house for Caleb's appointment. I call him again, and find out he got hung up on a job, but could meet me when I get home again. Ok. I go to Caleb's appointment, where only patients are allowed inside. I have to wait in the car outside. Ok. So, I wait for an hour in the Mazda, with the air conditioner on, and think nothing of it. I was busy on Facebook. Caleb finishes his appointment, and his therapist asks me if anything has changed. I tell her how I told Caleb I would punch him if he continued to shove into me and invade my personal space violently. No stress there, right? It had to be said. Caleb is out of control. I will defend myself. He will not be allowed to bully me. So we leave, and I call the guy for the AC and let him know we are on our way home. He will be there about 15 minutes after we get home.
We get home and I can't wait to get water and AC. I eat a bowl of cold salad. The guy shows up, and problem #1 is that the AC unit is big and needs support to be safely out the window. His helper goes and cuts a 2x4 and brings a small piece of plywood. The AC unit fits in the window, no problem. The 2x4 supports the window unit on top of the plywood, cool. Come inside, and he says I should tape the ends of the unit on the inside of the house to keep the bugs out. He does it for me. Everything is good. I'm worried about the condition of my living room, which he had to walk through to get to the AC unit. He goes to plug in the air conditioner, and he can't! It's not a regular plug! It's a 240V plug, like a large appliance needs. Damnit! I didn't even notice. I'm fucked. He says I need an electrician. Just great. SO I call my friend again and get more help.
The electrician comes over and again, I'm worried about the condition of my home. It's embarrassing and there's not a thing I could do about it in the heat. He is kind about it. I am grateful. He says he can do a temporary fix to get the AC working for now. It's the end of the day and it's hot in here. I understand, because it's been a long day for me too. He gets everything done in record time, and I am so happy when he turns the AC on for the first time! He doesn't charge me full price, but unfortunately for me, does empty my bank account. I am again, grateful.
I was shaking when the window unit installers arrived. I had been in the hot van for an hour waiting. Air does not move through the air conditioner when the car is still. I think I was suffering a heat injury. I could barely stand up. My arms and and legs were wobbly.
In the end, it was all worth it. My Aunt Lisa has been helping me financially, or I could not have afforded to call to have the central air serviced or the window unit installed.
So much drama and in so much heat. I hate the heat. I couldn't bare another 100 degree house day. So, on top of all that, I had Caleb being a spoiled, entitled brat. He was only concerned with what he wanted to do, when he wanted to do it. He could not see or did not care about the larger picture. At one point he said " I don't even want this air conditioner" What the Hell?! He said that because he wanted to walk to the park instead of waiting for the electrician to finish his work. He complained and yelled at me when I told him to clean up the living room. It was just too much stress for me for one day.
I have not had a proper shower since Sunday. I only had a cold shower on Monday and that was to cool off. I stink. I look like madness personified. My hair is craziness. I'm not wearing a bra. I just don't look together. I don't feel together. Meanwhile, my dishes and laundry are piling up higher because it's too hot to work in here. I feel completely defeated. I'm only able to cook because I use a crock pot. It's too hot to use the stove.
Part of my PTSD is from having Caleb taken away when I had to be hospitalized. I fear to this day that he will be taken away again, and I won't get him back. I try so hard to do right by him, and he can be so ungrateful.
Poor Bella has been suffering with us too. I feel bad because I swore I would care for her, and I am doing the best I can, but it's not enough. I don't want to lose my dog. I try to keep her as cool as possible. I don't like to see her hot.
Things certainly took a drastic turn after the photo shoot, didn't it? Life is unpredictable. You just never know. We have survived to Thursday morning. I made it. I don't believe it. It's hard to believe I just lived through 100 degrees inside my own house. Here I am trying to freeze my house for the summer, and I'm living in a crock pot.
Now, I have the credit to do other home improvements, though. I didn't have it before. I have had the vinyl planks for the kitchen floor since last year, but was unable to afford the rest of the supplies to have it installed. I paid for the planks mostly with credit, and wanted to pay it off before buying the rest of the supplies. I also need cash to pay for the labor. I succeeded in paying off the planks on the credit card in March or so.
I want to correct either the kitchen floor or the kitchen cabinet first. I had a leak under the kitchen sink for a while, and mold grew. I've since had the leak fixed, and the cabinet has dried out. The cabinet door also came off. It's just one disaster after another in here. If I wasn't already comfortable living here, I would move. Plus, I just don't have money to fix the house enough to show. I have a very long list of repairs that need to be done. I was working on paying off debts so I could free up some money.
I am being watched over by good energy. I could not have dealt with these problems by myself. It was already overwhelming WITH help. I could not have done anything WITHOUT help.
Mathew is home safe. He is enjoying being home again, as far I know. The kids are ecstatic to have him back home. They all missed him so much. He is being spoiled by Nichole. He has eaten the crappiest food for the last 6 months or so, so she is getting him whatever he wants under the sun. He is being quarantined for 14 days, and can't leave the house. I think he needs the time to readjust back to home life. The time zone change and climate change are hard enough on a person. I bet it feels so good to sleep in his own bed once again. To take a long shower too. He has taken up weight lifting, and I know he misses that right now. He has lost his dad bod. He is muscle man now. I wish I could hug him and tell him I love him. His birthday is coming up.
I am not following through on my game plan that I made with my primary care provider. I will try to pick it back up again once things settle down. I have been resting better on my bed. I don't wake up in pain. I am taking those anti-inflammation supplements and think they may be helping too. I am taking them all at once for maximum effect. The downside to that is that I don't know how well each one is working or not working. I am trying to eat salmon once a week. I am trying to eat raw vegetables once a day. I want to eat a no meat dinner once a week, but have not done that yet. I quit walking all together. I was in too much pain and it was just too damn hot to move around. Maybe I will work with my weights, like Mathew is doing.
I have not been reading or listening to music with intention. I have not been meditating. The only thing I have kept up with is writing this blog. I have not been able to further research homeschooling. Time is running out. School starts here on August 17th. I need a working plan in place before then. I need to know if I want to risk putting Caleb in distance learning through his school or do full homeschooling. I just think it will be less stressful to do our own program. We won't have to be at a computer a certain times of the day everyday. I can take him to his appointments without being absent all day from school. we can catch up on the weekends. It will give me a job that is very meaningful to me. I mean, I couldn't get Caleb to log in more than once last school year. He just would not cooperate. He will be able to take breaks as needed, without disrupting the whole class. I won't be getting bad reviews of Caleb's behavior everyday from a ton of teachers. Seriously, it's got to be less stressful.
As of right now, Caleb has one weekly appointment with an occupational therapist, one bi-weekly appointment with a behavioral therapist, and one monthly appointment with a psychiatrist. He will by January be getting braces, so that will require multiple dental and orthodontic appointments. He gets an annual physical plus doctor visits for flu shots and random sicknesses. He has an eye doctor appointment that is getting rescheduled. That's a lot of appointments that happen during the school day!
Most of my appointments can be done online or by phone right now. In the future, I hope these options are still available because they save me 2 hours of driving back and forth.
Bella doesn't have many appointments. She just gets an annual check -up and follow-up shots.
I still have to take care of the car inspection coming up, and the registration and taxes. That's got to be done first thing in the morning.
Caleb is asleep on the couch, under the air conditioner. Sponge Bob is on tv. Bella has been sleeping near the kitchen on the floor. It is now 3:53 am here.
I forgot to mention that our WiFi and cable was disrupted yesterday as well. That was stressful. I guess Kyle, the window unit installer, accidentally unplugged something behind the couch. Caleb fixed it for us. He knew what it was. Thank God. Those were horrible 5 minutes, 5 minutes without WiFi.
Caleb just woke up and said "Mama!" LOL He can be sweet too. Little hellion. What would we do without our kids?
I need a day off to do nothing but relax and maybe read. This morning the central air guy is coming and will hopefully tell me good news, like nothing is broken and the ac just froze over. Hopefully I won't have to turn it off again. I don't want to test my window unit to see if it can keep the house cool. I'm so exhausted from stress and heat, heat and stress. I just want to take a regular shower, and come out be able to cool off like I normally do, without sweating. My ice maker can't keep up with demand. My freezer is full so I can't buy a bag of ice.
I am a WARRIOR! I was born a warrior. I now accept that it is true. I fight for everything I have. Life is hard. I'm grateful there weren't others living with us at this point. It would have been a bitchy hell.
I still have to find a way to buy Bella's food. Hmm. Gotta look at the budget. She is good for now, but I want to buy in advance in case we get locked down because of hurricane damage.
I finally got the copies of Caleb's IEP. I found out he will lose it if I homeschool him. Makes the decision-making process that much harder. It's such a time consuming process to get one in place. I don't want him to lose it, but it hasn't shown to be that helpful either. I really feel I can do better with Caleb by giving him one on one attention for all of his subjects. That's something they can't afford to do at his school.
I'm still hot, and want to go cool down in my room.
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