Tuesday, July 14, 2020

5 Year Journal Day 56

     Today's prompt is "What's the last dream you remember?" I have recurring dreams about living in a barracks type situation in a foreign land, and going to school but not knowing where I am supposed to be. Or being in my childhood home, and going to school and not knowing what I am supposed to do. It's weird. I feel anxiety in my sleep when I have those dreams.

     Yesterday I spent the day cleaning part of my hallway carpet. It took picking up trash, picking up laundry, shop vacuuming, pet vacuuming, hand scrubbing the carpet, and machine cleaning the carpet. Yes, it was a process that took most of the day because I had to take many breaks because of the back pain it caused. 


     I walked my 8 minutes for Mathew and Nichole on the incline trainer. The 3 minute warm-up is not included in the workout data.



     Caleb and I cleaned my reusable air filter. The air filter is specially made to be reusable. It is electrostatic, and is black on the inside, but the dust is also black and gray. I originally thought the filter was see-through when clean because I have forgotten what it looked like new. Upon cleaning it, I found that this was false. Anyway, it was a good choice because I am suppose to change the filter every month because I vape in the house, and this is going to save me money and frustration. 


     I made stew beef and black beans in the crock pot, and cabbage on the stovetop for dinner. Caleb didn't eat. I was sorely disappointed.
     I began reading the book about being a Christian Witch on the kindle. I think if I had to describe my spiritual path, that it would include those words "Christian Witch." I own crystals, a tarot deck, incense, sage, essential oils, candles, and a unique hand made wand. I have created an altar. I follow Jesus. I was going to a non-denominational church before the COVID-19 pandemic. I own crucifixes and crosses. I have tattoos of crosses all over my body. I also believe in the power of women. I use herbal supplements, and believe in the power of plants. I own a variety of religious texts to include the "Yoga Sutras of Pantajali", "the Sixth and Seventh Book of Moses", "the Gospel according to Thomas", and many different Bibles. At one time, I was studying to become an ordained minister. I am a seeker and not confined to religion. I study science too. I am particularly interested in brain wave audio technology, and quantum healing. Although I don't always understand it, I like to read about the ascension of human kind. 
     I read more of "The Christian Parenting Handbook" yesterday morning.
     I am wondering if I should try home schooling Caleb this year. I don't want him to get sick being exposed to all those people. I certainly don't want to get sick from exposure to him from going to school with all those people. Nichole has decided that she is keeping the kids home, and asked me what I thought. It's a lot to consider when you have a special needs child with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. I don't want every day to be an uphill battle between us. 
     It's 2:05 am here now. I couldn't sleep. I tried to go back to sleep and just couldn't fall back asleep. Sponge Bod Square Pants is on the tv. Bella was sleeping with me on the couch. She finally learned that just because I reach for the weighted blanket she always seems to sleep on, and cover myself, doesn't mean she has to get off the couch for the night. Caleb is sleeping on the couch. I need to move us all to the bedroom. I will do that someday soon. 
     I hear Caleb munching on cereal. LOL
     I weighed in yesterday morning, and now weigh the same weight I weighed when I started using this scale, meaning I lost weight again. I was so happy to see that! I thought I would have gained another 5 lbs from eating at Hardee's twice last week. I want to try to reduce the amount of beef and pork we eat, but it's cheaper than seafood my at least $6/lbs, when it's on sale! That's a lot of money when you consider we eat 1 pound of meat per dinner. 


     Today is pay day, also known as bill pay day to me. 
     Today, as long as it doesn't get too hot in here, I would like to complete the cleaning of the carpet in the hallway. I figure if I take enough small steps in the right direction, eventually I will have the house deep cleaned, and looking good. Towards the end of the cleaning process, Caleb volunteered to help with the hand scrubbing of the carpet. He wouldn't pick up the trash he left on the floor. He wouldn't move the laundry he threw on the floor. He wouldn't shop vac the floor for me. I don't let him use the carpet cleaner. So... at least he finally helped. 
     Nichole and I have big goals for our house keeping. Mine are more getting to a normal state. Hers are more details and a state of excellence. We keep each other motivated. She doesn't need motivation from me, but I like to check in with her throughout the day and tell her how I'm doing. It keeps me happy, rather than down. I require socialization throughout the day. 
     My allergies have been acting up all day. The left side of my face has been with the watery eye, running nose, and the sneezing. I hate it. I take generic Claritin daily. I don't understand why I am having these symptoms.
     Yesterday I attended the VA MOVE follow-up program by phone. It is a class to help with weight loss that is held once every month. This was my first experience taking a class by phone. It went well. 
     I want to start using my Alpha-Stim again. It's good for PTSD, anxiety, and other problems. I will set aside time where I am reading and being still to use it. 
    I am still waiting for my EBT card to arrive in the mail. I need groceries, and I wonder if I should wait for it, or just go get them. I don't know yet. 
     I have to prepare for the upcoming photo shoot. It is this weekend. I bought 2 belts to try, and I need to know if they fit, and how they look with the dress on. I lost one belt. I don't know where it went. I'm sure it's in Caleb's mess in the living room. I want to know if  my grandma's necklace will fit me. My neck is quite large these days. I need a pedicure as I will not be wearing shoes on the beach. I have not decided what shirt to dress Caleb in yet. Caleb needs a mani/pedi too, and a haircut. I decided to not cut my hair before the photo shoot as I want my hair long. I will cut the ends off sometime after the photo shoot because they are damaged due to dying my hair last year. I have not decided if I will wear my glasses. They are transitions, and I don't want to wear sunglasses in my photos, I want to be able to see my eyes. I have not decide how to style my hair, or what products to use to make it curly instead of frizzy. I would have liked to include Bella in the shoot, but she is too unpredictable and excited. The shoot is a mini shoot, to keep costs down, so there isn't a lot of time to get the shots right. 
     Tomorrow I have a dental appointment. Those are never fun. I hate having people in my mouth, but I gotta do what I gotta do. 
     I need to research what it would take to home school Caleb. I know there is a formal process to create my own school through the state. I have looked it up before, but I have long forgotten. 
      

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