It is now 0154 and I have been awake for a few minutes. Caleb is still asleep, Thank God! He has so much energy and is so talkative when he wakes up. I can't handle it. It's too much to take in.
Yesterday was what I would normally call a shitty day in that I got nothing completed, however, it was full of healing. I rested all day long in bed with the dogs. My body was recovering from the sugar high of the day before, and being brought down to 95 or so relatively quickly. It was a shock to my body and nervous system. It caused me to have pains throughout my body. I did not feel "right." I felt weird and sickly. At the time I checked my glucose I was shaky. I ate a balanced meal right away of my crockpot meal leftovers. I began to feel better after awhile, but not good enough to get any work done. Another day of not being able to brush my hair. I wanted to take a shower, but couldn't manage to do that either. Caleb wanted a pizza and chocolate lava cakes from Domino's. I told him no at first, but later in the day when I realized that I could not go to the grocery store, I ordered it for him. I could not go to buy the groceries he needed to feed himself and we ran out of frozen foods for him.
It is now 0221 and I have taken my medications and supplements except my shot. I am letting them settle in my stomach first. It takes a lot of tea to get all those pills down. Today is Monday. I have the Unleash Your Life zoom call tonight. Hopefully I will make it. I have to work on my paper and get housework done. Tomorrow I have the call with Coach Brandi scheduled, and tomorrow night we are going to the Civil Air Patrol meeting. Wednesday Caleb has his psychiatrist and therapy appointments. There are no other appointments this week. My paper is due Sunday by midnight. No, actually I have a week after Sunday to turn it in because I have an accommodation from disability services, but I would still like to try to get it in as soon as possible.
My mind has been blank lately because I have been resting an sleeping so much. I never want to have high glucose again. That was an awful experience. Here I was thinking that at some point in the future I would be able to eat carbs again. I thought that keto was just a way to lose the weight and reverse my diabetes so I could eat normally, but now I am thinking I will have to eat a keto diet for the rest of my life. I don't know if my diabetes will ever truly be gone, even if my a1C is low because I control my diet. It's all about controlling my diet all the time. I may never be able to eat pasta again. There is a pasta salad that I love to make. I thought about that yesterday when I saw a post on facebook for a recipe for a pasta dish. There has to be a better way. I am wondering if I will just always need to have Metformin on hand so when I do have carbs I can just take it, instead of letting my glucose be high. I won't know if my blood sugar will rise that quickly every time I eat carbs. I really hope that I find a new balance as I lose more weight. I hope that I can have the foods I love on occasion without feeling ill. I wonder if there is a way to chat with members who have completed the Virta experience. I would like to know their experiences and if they are required to continue the keto diet.
I bought some keto meal replacement shakes. I didn't think I wanted to until I gave it more thought. Many days pass when all I can manage to eat is ham and cheese. I have been getting meal prep packages advertised to me on Facebook. The thing that holds me back from trying one is that I still have to cook. A meal replacement shake can give my body what it needs when I can't cook. I'm willing to bet I will feel better rapidly once I start using them in replacement of eating only ham and cheese all day long. I will finally be able to balance my diet with fat, minimal carbs, and proteins. I think it's a good idea to try. I bought several to try out. I use to use meal replacement shakes when I was working out back in 2013.
Now I have to deal with getting my ketones back up again. I was struggling with that before last week. I often don't eat in a keto balanced way.
Caleb has been no help in cleaning while I am not feeling well. I told him he does not have to wait for my to get things done. He disagreed.
I am feeling like going back to bed to cuddle with Bella. She followed me out here and fell asleep on the floor next to me. Oh man ! I almost vomited everything up! I better go now!
Have a blessed day!
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