It is now 0051, and I have been awake for at least 30 minutes. I was struggling to fall back asleep. I got up and ate a pint of blueberries which I know will keep me from reaching ketosis today. I was so thirsty I drank almost half a gallon of tea already. I went ahead and submitted my discussion post for this week and also the responses to my classmates. Yesterday I spent most of the day working on my paper. I got a notice that the last day of class is this Friday, so all work to be graded needs to be submitted by then. I thought I had until Sunday at midnight to submit my paper, but I was wrong. I spent most of the morning and some of the afternoon just getting my reference page in order. Thank God I purchased the APA writing reference book before this semester started.
I pushed as far as I could go with my paper then decided to submit a draft to my professor for review and feedback. I don't know if she will get it in time before I have to submit it for a grade. I might not have any time to make the changes I need to make. I really struggled writing yesterday. I could not stay on task. I required a lot of breaks. I could not seem to merge the two different sets of instructions we were given for this assignment. I had a headache coming at one point. I saw that Michal was hosting the "Next Steps" for Reiki Masters orientation and I wanted to attend that. I do not know if I can afford to go to the program right now, but I do not know if I can afford to wait until this time next year for the information contained within this program either. I am already on a payment plan with Michal for her mentoring program plus the Reiki Master training. I don't have the money to pay any more payments right now, but this program starts next Wednesday night. I might be able to use a credit card to make payments on a second payment plan so I can start. It really depends on how high the payments are. I finish paying off my first payment plan in December of this year. I was looking forward to having money in January to pay down my credit cards. Of course, if I can begin a Reiki business, I can have more income to pay the bills. I am on the fence because I do not want to go into more debt. I also don't want to commit to training that runs from 6:45pm to 9pm on Wednesdays. That's just a long night. I had trouble keeping my commitment to Coach Brandi on Mondays from 7pm to 9pm because it was too late for me. I was just exhausted and a lot of times in a lot of pain.
I feel like I was brought to the orientation for a reason. I need the knowledge from the program. I could use the support of the other women in the program too.
I bought tickets for Caleb and me to see "Phantom of the Opera" in Wilmington the other day. I bought tickets for us to see "The Nutcracker for youth" in Wilmington yesterday. I am happy to have all these outings scheduled for us this holiday season. We already have the "Alice in Wonderland" event and the "Medieval Festival" to go to, as well as "Swan Lake." Caleb decided he wants to go trick-or-treating this year after all. He has been detailing his Halloween mask to make it spookier.
I want to look through my keto cookbooks to create a new keto Thanksgiving meal that will be delicious. I want to do the same for Christmas Eve dinner.
I am thinking that the trip to Alaska might have to wait another year. Once I figure out how to make money I can budget the trip in.
My dad and I were invited for a Veterans Day dinner at OceanView United Methodist Church this year. It would be nice to go.
I posted progress photos of my face on Facebook in a lot of groups I belong to yesterday.
The top two photos are from Oct 12, 2020.
The bottom two photos are from Oct 11, 2022.
"I have lost 50 lbs so far! I'm making it happen!
I only really started trying to give my best effort starting in the Spring of 2022. Not bad, huh?!
Wait until I start exercising! This is on diet changes alone.
Virta. Diabetes reversal. If you are a veteran, I highly suggest them.
I am currently no longer on insulin.
I am currently taking only 1,000mg of Metformin a day. I was taking 2, 000 mg a day for reference.
I do still take Victoza, but it's supposed to help me lose weight.
If I can do it, so can you!"
Christinia messaged me and shared a school photo of Harlee! She is growing so fast. She is not a baby anymore. Poor girl had ear infections. I hope she gets better quickly. Christinia was sick too. I hope she gets better soon too.
I ate a lot of Swiss cheese when I woke up early in the morning yesterday so I had ham for breakfast to balance it out. I ate another big salad for lunch and there was enough to have for dinner too. My glucose was high in the morning due to eating a pint of blueberries. I did the same thing today except I have not eaten cheese. I have one more pint of blueberries and then I'm cutting myself off from them. I cannot simply eat fewer of them. I need the whole pint, and I can't keep in ketosis if I eat that many blueberries. It really sucks!
Today is Thursday. I have only today and tomorrow before my class is over.
I want to make some updates to my paper today. We have no appointments so I have that going for me. I can try to focus on making my paper better. I feel like I wasted a lot of space by listing the classes that are required to complete my Master's degree in my paper. The thing is, I was asked what do I need to do to reach my career goals, and so I listed the classes I still have to take. I was asked a lot of questions in the outline that was given for us to use that I attempted to answer to the best of my ability only to find that the outline did not include what is being graded as per the grading rubric. So essentially I have 2 different sets of instructions to follow and to get a good grade I must follow the grading rubric. I followed the outline first. It makes things confusing because now I have to add what I missed out on because the outline did not include what is required by the grading rubric. My paper is already long. It is about to be longer. I feel like I answered some things well, and other things just to get by. I feel like my paper screams "Autistic student!" when I read it. I really do have trouble communicating. I feel like I'm a sphere being forced into a box that is too small.
I was really stressing out last night when I was trying to make my paper better. I couldn't just do it and get it done. I was stuck over and over again. I tried calling my dad but he was not available for most of the day. I really needed someone to talk to on my breaks, but had no one to reach out to. I tried to reach out to Rachel, but she is not online all the time like I am. I live on the internet. I am socially isolated as a disabled veteran and single parent who is homeschooling a teenager. I'm Autistic and have C-PTSD along with high anxiety and that does not help me socialize at all. I am trying to reach out more. I know I am not alone but it's about finding people who are available and willing to be my friends.
I feel like I am overcoming my past again for the umpteenth time. I really went through some stuff recently between my parents and my memories of my childhood. I'm raising my son and it triggers me all the time. I have to work through my traumas and let them go. I listened to Elizabeth Peru's guided meditation audio yesterday which set me on the right track. Sometimes I just have to use the resources I have invested in. I have a tendency to buy resources and forget that I have them. I can't wait to begin reading on my own time. I have a library of books to read. I want to take all the information in and share what I learn.
Caleb just woke up for a snack. It is now 0150.
I am signed up for an Autism Summit online with Dr. Temple Grandin. I need to check those dates and times to be sure I haven't missed it already.
I got my steel tongue drum that is tuned to play the notes of the chakras the other day. I also purchased a bamboo xylophone-type instrument that should be interesting to make music with.
I'm not sleepy but I want to go cuddle with Bella in bed in front of my fan. It's too early to take my medications, although I am thirsty enough to take the tea right now.
I haven't been meditating with the Andara lately. I really don't feel anything from them. I get more from Erica Rock's audio files than the Andara she sells, I haven't been working with any crystals lately either and it's such a shame because I have such a big collection. I need to review my Reiki handbooks and start practicing again. It felt good to be with the ladies of Beacons of Change again last night. I noticed the light in my screen kept changing from what seemed like normal lighting to super bright lighting. I just wonder why that happens to me and not to other people I can see in the zoom meeting. I was changing the light as I was watching and listening to Michal. It was strange and cool to see at the same time.
I wear my Andara pendant next to my Clear Quartz crystal pendant on my necklace. I wear rings with crystals on them when I wear my rings. I wonder how much they affect my overall vibration frequency of light. I wish I could test it.
There is so much craziness in the world right now. I hope Mathew is ok. I'm sure he is more than capable of doing whatever is necessary, but he's my baby brother who is only 1 year younger than I am. Even though we are not on speaking terms, I wish the best for him and want him to be safe always.
I haven't heard back from Craig yet. I'm still waiting. He doesn't check his messages very frequently so I'm not worried.
Eventually, I would like to play instruments with Caleb. The idea is to take spiritual-focused instruments and have fun together while improving our health. I am planning on practicing Reiki in person with him, and online with Coach Brandi. I will attune Caleb to Reiki level 1 and show him the basics of healing himself. I wish someone would have done that for me at his age!
I think having a Reiki business practice could be what I need right now. I need additional income and Reiki does not stress me out. I can offer sessions to women veterans to get them acquainted with Reiki. Eventually, I can attune people and train them. I am certified as a Reiki Master so the only thing that stands in my way is the knowledge I need to take steps in the right direction, and myself being in the way. I believe this could be a beautiful way to help women veterans heal.
I am looking forward to this quarter away from school. I may not return. It just depends on what Caleb's needs are in 10 weeks when classes start up again. I am more concerned with Caleb's education right now than my own education. He needs me to show him the ways to make it through this worldly experience we call life.
I am going to train Caleb to train Bubba. Bubba has grown fast and is a big boy now. He still does not know the basic commands of sit, stay, and lay down. He will learn. I have all the treats a puppy could ask for and he is highly food-motivated.
This blog is just for me to express my thoughts and feelings when I am awake and everyone I know is asleep. I hope that one day my son, grandchildren, and all other descendants will find value in my writing one day. I hope that I can find ways to share my stories with others who may be able to gain insights into their own lives from my experiences. I want to be a healer. I am a healer. I want to raise my vibration as high as I can in this lifetime and bring as many people as I can with me.
I have been blogging for more than a year now. I have not always been consistent, but it wasn't through lack of trying. Reflecting on my accomplishments this year:
Levels 1,2, and 3 Reiki certification training completed,
Capella University admission accepted and my first Master's degree class almost completed,
refinanced the house and paid off some debts,
won a new roof and entryway,
completed the Ignite Your Life program,
attempted to complete the Unleash Your Life program,
continued the Virta Diabetes reversal program, lost 50lbs on diet changes alone,
reduced my Diabetes medications significantly,
reduced pain and inflammation overall,
survived Covid-19,
reduced my A1c to pre-diabetes levels,
adopted Bubba,
found Erica Rock, Elizabeth Peru, and Jana Carrey's guided meditations and began meditation practice,
contributed to 3 of Sheila Farr's published books as an author,
created a Facebook business page to sell paperback versions of the books I contributed to,
began sharing my blog to my Facebook business page and Instagram account,
tried CBT,
refreshed my memory of physical therapy exercises,
completed intensive-in-home therapy with Caleb,
took 2 different psychological evaluations,
diagnosed myself with Autism Spectrum Disorder,
began Erica Rock's monthly download program,
began taking anxiety medication regularly after being diagnosed with GAD,
helped Christinia and Harlee as long as I could,
repaired and maintained the Volvo and the Mazda
started investing in Acorns,
starting investing with Charles Schwabb,
made improvements and repairs to the house,
kept blogging,
said "No" to my dad,
bonded with my dad,
survived Hurricane Ian,
and became more self-aware.
The year isn't over yet! I still have books to distribute. I still have books to sell. I still have homeschooling goals to achieve. I still have blogs to be written!
Have a blessed day and thank you for reading. Feel free to comment and/or share!
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