Today's prompt is " Who are you fooling?" This was an April 1st question in the book.
Yesterday was day 2 of home schooling and it was ok. Caleb made it through learning some math, science, and language arts before getting angry. I had my class at noon with Wounded Warrior Project, so I let him go on his walk. I had to run some errands before the Veterans Path class at 5, so we did that and grabbed some lunch. So, it was another short day. With Caleb, it's important to build up on tasks that he doesn't like to do, and not just try to force him to do everything at once. He won't. He's very stubborn.
It's 8:07 a.m. and I feel like I didn't get any sleep. Yesterday, while I was video chatting with Nichole, Mathew says "Are you ready for Trump 2021?" and I replied "Over my dead body!" We never talk politics because I know he supports Trump. We exchanged heated words. He thinks Biden has Alzheimer's and is a pedophile. I couldn't believe the words coming out of my brother's mouth. Nichole was supporting his views. I felt a rush of blood to my head and the tears began to fall. I haven't cried since February. My face was so hot. Caleb hung up the phone because he didn't want to see me cry.
It wasn't the argument that made me cry. It may have pushed me by becoming emotionally charged, but I have a lot to cry about that I never cried about. It adds up and stays stagnate in my body as tension and stress mount. Once I calmed down, I text both Mathew and Nichole.
To Nichole: "Caleb hung up because he didn't want me to cry."
From Nichole: "I'm sorry."
"To Nichole: "He doesn't understand that I've needed to cry for a long, long, long time-Caleb doesn't. Sometimes it takes a push to let them come out."
To Nichole: " I feel just as deeply about issues as everyone else but I've got traumas and struggles everyday from my problems that I didn't cause. It gets to be too much sometimes."
To Nichole: "I bet I will sleep good tonight though."
To Nichole: "Good night butternuts."
From Nichole: " Nighty night sweet cheeks."
To Mathew: " Caleb hung up the call because he didn't want me to cry. I don't care who you plan to vote for. We all have our own opinions. I'm not in the same class as you, my opinion is bound to be different. Maybe we can talk calmly about it one day. I'm open to new information but I've been paying attention to what's been going on too."
From Mathew: "Ok"
To Mathew: " Goodnight Mathew"
That's how we left it. I reached out to my Aunt Lisa. She is the only democrat I know. I don't know how anyone with a college education can support Trump. You've got to be a fellow white supremacist or something. Or maybe you a trillionaire who gets away with not paying taxes. Maybe you are cop who kills people who are not being violent because of their skin color. Maybe you are a medical research company looking to bank on the vaccine that was paid for by tax dollars. Why wouldn't you want to make healthcare available to everybody? I don't get it. Why wouldn't you want trillionaires to pay taxes? I really don't get that either.
So that was the majority of my day yesterday. Today I have an in person appointment at the VA clinic in the afternoon, so it will be another short day. It takes 2 hours worth of driving to get back and forth, and the appointment should last at least 30 minutes. That takes up the whole afternoon. I feel like death this morning. It looks like it might have rained overnight.
Caleb is awake and eating the cinnamon french toast sticks I bought him yesterday for breakfast. I am drinking a couple of Dews this morning to get my energy up. Bella woke me up with the jingling of her dog tags. Sounded like she was running back and forth from the living room to my room, which meant she needed to go outside. So, I slid out of my bed real slowly and let her out before she had a chance to have an accident.
One of our neighbors passed away yesterday. Caleb calls him his friend, and his name was Roger. A firetruck, the EMS, and the police were parked in the street in front of their house and Caleb was being nosy trying to figure out what was going on. Rest in peace Roger. He was an elderly man, with a sweet nature.
I made it to both of my classes yesterday even though I was very tired by the times they started. The Wounded Warrior Project class is usually an in-person event. They are sending goodies to all the participants, so I can't wait for that. The Veterans Path class is about mindfulness.
I am supposed to be wearing compression socks, so I kind of need to find a pair before my appointment today. My appointment is with my podiatrist. It will be time to get new diabetic shoes soon. I am hoping they can provide me with one pair of walking shoes and one pair of sandals that I can use my inserts in.
There is a thunder storm outside now.
I am not motivated to start my day at all. I might even take the day "off" from home schooling and make it up on Saturday. I need to catch up on some things around the house. We can clean up our classroom today. I don't know. I haven't decided. It's still early. I may find my energy levels rising as I am awake longer, and get started with my morning routine. Bella is crying because the thunder scares her. Can I take a shower during a thunderstorm? I forget.
Back to what happened with Mathew. I got the feeling that he didn't comprehend that I am disabled, and it is not a choice that I made to be so. I felt that Nichole was saying that I was handed my social security, like I didn't have to be approved under the same regulations and laws as everybody else. I felt like neither one of them cared about anyone other than themselves. How could you say you care and not provide healthcare? I got the feeling that they believed that I was not paying attention to what's going on. I don't understand how we could possibly be getting the same information and be making different choices. How can you support Trump's lack of leadership during the pandemic? He refuses to listen to scientists and doctors! How can you support that and say you are a college educated individual? I took a class in ethics, maybe you didn't? I took a class in thinking, seriously, it was how to make decisions. Maybe you didn't? I mean both of them went to online schools, which I don't believe rank anywhere near the education you get from going to school in person. It's not the same material from these schools. It just isn't. If you went to college, and didn't learn by the time you graduated, that you should listen to people with more education than you in their fields, what did you learn?
As a senior leader in the U.S. Army, how can you support a president who has taken money from Russia to kill U.S. soldiers?
As a woman, how can you support a womanizer?
They say they support conservative values, but what is conservative about paying porn stars hush money? What is conservative about destroying the postal service? What is conservative about making money by playing golf every chance you get at your own resorts, at tax payer expense? There are so many things wrong with Trump and his time in office. I refuse to support him or the Republican party.
I am from an immigrant family of Brazilian and Canadian descent. I am a woman. I am a woman veteran. I am a single mother. I am disabled. I am pro-LGBTQ. I am pro-black and minority. I am pro-choice. I am pro-women's rights and equality. I am pro-legalization of cannabis and psilocybin. I am pro-tattoo and pro-piercings. I am environmentally conscious. I am anti-climate change. I am pro-green energy. I am anti-rape, anti-assault, anti-harassment of anybody, anywhere. I am anti-child trafficking, and sex-trafficking. I am pro-religious freedom. I am pro-free speech. I am anti-censorship. I am anti-white supremacist. I am anti-hate, and pro-love. I am pro-affordable healthcare for everyone. I am pro-education. I will NEVER burn a book. I am anti-Nazi. I am anti-dictator. I am anti-electoral college. I am pro-popular vote. I am pro-science. I am pro-diversity and inclusion. I am pro-peaceful protest. I am pro-gun ownership. I am pro-American made.
I AM JENNIFER LYNN de MELLO, hear me ROAR!
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