Wednesday, January 6, 2021

5 Year Journal Day 225

     Today's prompt is "What is your resolution for tomorrow?" My resolution for tomorrow is be mindful throughout the day, stay grounded, and be thankful.

     It is now 2:49 a.m. here. Yesterday started out slowly. It was dark and rainy outside, and I slept in. I did my normal morning routines, and did not really start moving until I decided to make a crockpot meal for dinner around 1:00 p.m. I made a whole chicken, fresh green beans, onions, and red potatoes with ginger root, garlic, rosemary, thyme, onion powder, garlic powder, garlic salt, chicken bouillon, black pepper, and a little bit of olive oil. It smelled delicious as I was putting it together. Unfortunately the chicken was frozen solid, and I started cooking late, so I knew it would be a late dinner time.  

     While dinner was cooking in the crockpot, I started to move around a little more. I lit all the red and green candles and some incense sticks, as I like to do when I am attempting to clean. I swept the kitchen floor, and picked up a bag of trash. I picked up a bag of recycling from around my area at the table. I had collected gallon alkaline water bottles, not knowing if I had a need to reuse them. I stacked boxes that were collected over the holidays for Caleb to take out to the recycling bin. I handwashed some dishes. I decided that I would follow Aunt Lisa's lead in de-cluttering and re-organizing the kitchen, since Caleb was not helping me pick up trash. I figured I'd find something I could do on my own without hurting myself. I started with the pots and pans cabinet. It overflows and dishes fall out all the time. I have more than I use. I started making a pile of the cookware that I do not use, and trying to think about who could use them the most. I cleaned out the silverware drawer completely. Food had fallen in the drawer because Caleb leaves the drawer open when he is cooking and often drops food and does not clean it up. After taking a break and catching my breath from bending over, I decided to clean off the kitchen cart of things that were no longer useful. There were all kinds of pieces to things that do not have their matches. I had to throw them away. I decided to use the cabinet that was used for pots and pans, to be used for cleaning products that were being stored on the kitchen cart. I moved the larger pots and pans to the kitchen cart for easy access. Then I began to take apart the kitchen island. I have alot of lids with no containers to match. I have serving trays that have never been used, and will likely never be used. 

     I made alot of progress when Pastor Rick stopped by to bring us reading materials about baptism for Caleb. He also brought us a Food Lion gift card! He had a twinkle in his eyes that I could see from where I was sitting at the dinner table, even though he was standing at the door. 

     I cleaned off the kitchen stovetop, and some of the countertop with bleach, so the whiteness of the surfaces would return. After Pastor Rick left, I called him because I thought of something. I asked him if he knew of a family or families that could my cookware. I told him there was nothing wrong with them. I don't use them, and they are taking up space, but they are in good shape. So, he will come back to pick them up and find a good home for them. I am happy to give back to the church when I can. I have always been a giver. 

     I loaded the dishwasher with alot of the cookware I had piled up on the floor and ran it. I did not want to give dirty, dusty cookware. 

     I remembered to water the houseplants today. They all got a good watering and some grow light today. 

     Caleb gave Bella peanut butter this morning! LOL It's so funny to see her lick her lips. 

     Mom called me during her lunch break and told me I should go to the IRS website and lookup when my check will arrive and by what method of payment, so I did. She checked her mail and had both her and Kenneth's checks already. I think it will take much longer for me to receive my check. 

     I felt sick after Caleb blew the candles out. The mixture of the candle smoke, the bleach, and the dinner was too much for my nose. I had to go lay down. Dinner was still not ready because the chicken was frozen solid when I put it in the crockpot, and it was almost 6lbs. of bird! I went to rest for a little while, until Caleb came and asked me if dinner was ready yet. I asked him if he was hungry, and he said "Yeah!" LOL It is not often that Caleb is hungry for dinner. He has odd eating habits. His medication makes him not hungry, and sometimes I have to remind him that he needs to eat. I can usually get him to eat dinner with me though, which is our most important meal of the day. It is the only meal I cook during the day, and it usually consists of a meat-protein, fresh keto-friendly vegetables, and a starchy vegetable or non-keto friendly food like pasta, rice, or bread.  

     Dinner turned out deliciously, and even Caleb enjoyed it. He did not even know there was ginger root in the mix this time. 

     I called Granny and Pepere the other day, and Pepere told me that Caleb should not be able to tell if ginger root is present in the meal, and that I am putting too much in the mix. So, yesterday, I put less in the meal. I should still get the benefits of eating it, and Caleb doesn't taste it, so there is nothing to complain about. 

     Before lunch I took a Swanson Metabo-Rise supplement pill to see how it would make me feel, and determine if it would be safe for me to use regularly. I think it will be fine to use as directed or less. It contains chromium in it, which is known to cause insulin sensitivity and can be dangerous to people who suffer from low blood sugar already. I do not ever have low blood sugar and am intentionally trying to increase my insulin sensitivity. According to what my PCP says, increasing my insulin sensitivity should decrease my blood sugar levels, and may also help with weight loss. 

     I am doing well being mindful of my emotional status, and keeping relatively stress-free. The less stress I feel, the less problems with cortisol I will have, which will also help me lose weight. My life has not changed, my thinking about my life has changed. Reading the Empath book has opened my eyes to things I was not necessarily conscious of. Knowing that I am an Empath, and that there are tools I can use to stay grounded is a game-changer. Also, knowing that roughly 20% of the population are Empaths is helpful, because for all my life I felt like I was the only one. The only Empath I have ever met who knew she was an Empath was Violet. I am 37 years old. It took me 37 years to find someone like me. 

     I have decided to not change my fibromyalgia and seizure medication from Lyrica. The risk of having seizures is too great for me to accept. I am confident that as long as I do my best to maintain my health, and avoid seizure-causing activities, I can lead a normal life. I may have to try harder to lose weight, but I am more willing to do that than to have even one more seizure. 

     It is now 4:05 a.m. here. Caleb is sleeping in the living room. Bella did not get up when I did, and is still laying down on my bed. 

     Today is Wednesday and Caleb has an appointment with his therapist. Other than that, I do not much planned for the day. We will just have to wait and see how things go. I want to finish cleaning the rest of the cookware though. Pastor Rick will be by to pick them up today sometime. I would like to start picking the stuff from the floor in the living room, but because I don't normally get moving until around lunchtime, I do not know if that will happen. Caleb's appointment is in the middle of the afternoon, so that makes it more difficult to do other things. As soon as I get started, it will be time to go. 

     I am trying to figure out what to do with the stimulus check when I get it. There are so many things that need to be done around here. At the same time, I do not want to use all of it and have no savings for emergencies, because they are bound to happen. 

     I got my book lights in the mail yesterday! Woop woop! I charged one of them immediately. I will get alot of use out of them. 

     I chatted with Stella throughout the day. It's nice when she is available to chat with me. It's hard being at home all the time. I do not have many friends, and none of my friends are local. 

     The NC Covid-19 positive cases and hospitalizations are still increasing. I guess alot of people gathered during the all the holidays, and spread the virus while they were at it. We did not gather for the December holidays. 

     In a few weeks, we will have a new President, Joe Biden. I can't wait. I hope he can correct the wrongs done by Trump.  

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