Today's prompt is "What is the best part of your life right now?" Freedom from a 9-5 job.
It is now 1:36 a.m. here. Yesterday I woke up around 10:30 a.m. due to Caleb waking me up. I could have slept in for another 2 hours or so. I was tired. I woke up sore and achy. That is a sign the weather is going to be bad. Sure enough, it raine3d on and off all day long and was gloomy and dark outside.
I did my morning routine, without taking my blood sugar. I was slow to get moving, but eventually I lit my black candle, some incense, and sage. I decided it was time to sage my crystal collection, so I did. I also took the time to sage my aura. I began to pick up trash from the floor. I picked up one full bag and had to take a break. It is hard for me to bend over and also to squat down to pick things up. I probably started cleaning around 1:00 p.m. I did not stop until about 6:30 p.m. I shop vac'd the sofa cushions, inside the sofa, and on top of the sofa. I put the cushions back where they belong. I ended up picking up 5 kitchen trash bags full of trash from the floor. I shop vac'd about half of what I wanted to clean in the living room. I can see alot more clean carpet now. Caleb did help a little, but I did most of the work. We managed to clear a path from the sofa to the front door. Today we will clean up more, and I hope to be able to pet vac the floor to be sure to get up the tiny things the shop vac misses.
My allergies are bad, and so are Caleb's and Bella's, so this will help us all alot. There was alot of dust and hair vacuumed up. I guess the shop vac came apart at some point a while back, and got knocked over. So I ended up vacuuming up big clumps of hair and dust that had already been vacuumed up previously. I want to be able to move furniture around to change the atmosphere in here and make things more efficient. When we got the "new" furniture, we did not have time to put things where I wanted them. There were too many things in the way, and I did not want to pay more to have the moving guys more money than I was already paying them.
Caleb likes the cleaner living room. I told him, it would have been that way all along if he would just get up and put things in the trash can instead of on the floor!
I burned the black candle the whole time while I worked and burned the white sage several times over as I worked. I also burned some dragon's blood sage as well. It's important to clear the air as we clean of all the negativity that came with the mess.
That was our day. We did not go anywhere. Score. We did not have any appointments. It was raining outside, and the only thing to do was clean up.
I did make some calls about Caleb's medication refills and had some problems worked out.
I did cancel my VA appointment to Fayetteville to the CPAP clinic, and sent a secure email message to the CPAP clinic requesting that they mail me a new CPAP with the reasons I could not drive there. If nothing else, my request is documented.
The stimulus check did not come in the mail.
The Army investigator did not call. I may have to email the Police Investigator to ask what is going on.
Today is Friday, and we do not have any appointments. I am trying to make the most of these days at home, because next week will be busy away from home. Monday Caleb is going to my friend's Alisa's while I go to Wilmington for multiple VA appointments. I have to have labs done, see the nurse at the Women's Clinic, see the neurologist, and get a Covid-19 screening done before I can come home and get Caleb.
Tuesday we have an early appointment with AT&T cable and internet services. The cable guy is coming between 8:30-9:30 a.m. He is going to fix the cable in the living room, the cable in the bed room, and double check the wifi.
Wednesday I have 2 dental appointments at the VA in Wilmington. Caleb will ride with me to those and just stay in the Mazda. I will not be able to go if I find out I have Covid-19. I am pretty sure I don't have it.
I was supposed to drive to Fayetteville on Thursday to go to the CPAP clinic, but I cancelled that appointment. So I have no appointments on Thursday or Friday.
I complete a series of payments on Feb 1, so that will give me more or my own money back. I also pay off a store credit card that I used to buy my bed in mid-February. I did not have to pay to file my federal nor my state taxes this year, as I have had to do in previous years, so that saved me more than $100. I will still be a little short because I have to pay for the inspection, taxes, and registration of the Mazda before the end of February. I have not figured out how I am going to pay that yet. I was expecting to use the stimulus check, but that's gone out of the window!
I just placed my order for the 3mg nicotine e-juice. I am going to make this happen this time. So mote it be!
Caleb is alseep on the sofa, even though I told him I did not want him to sleep in the living room anymore. Bella is sleeping at his feet on the sofa. At least I don't have to try to walk over them both. They were previously on cushions on the floor just where ever. It made it that much harder to get to my computer in the early mornings, like I do.
Caleb wants the tv in my room for his bedroom. I am trying to get him to work for it. I want this house cleaned up, and I can't do it by myself. I did not make this mess, I really should not have to clean it up. He is not a little kid anymore. He can clean up his own messes. I want the living room spotless. I want his bedroom spotless, like I had it the last time I cleaned it for him. If he can make these things happen, I will consider giving him the tv that is in my room for his bedroom. I refuse to give him a tv if he causes me trouble and will not help clean up. I will not give him the tv if his room is not spotless. Nope. Sure won't. So, there is work to be done.
Today I hope to gather the dirty laundry and run the machines all day to maximize washing. I did not do that yesterday, but I should have. I want the front of the house cleaned up before Monday morning. I will not be home all day Monday, and the cable guy is coming early on Tuesday morning so... we have a deadline to meet.
The front yard did not get worked on because of the rain, but that needs to be taken care of too.
Eventually we are going to be able to clear off the porch so I can finally assemble my oversized rocker chairs for big people. I bought one for me and one for Sharon. Unfortunately she never got to experience the chair because they are still in the boxes. I hope they are not damaged. The boxes are coming apart. They have been waiting on the porch for more than a year now. I can't wait to clear off my porch. It will be so nice so not have to see the mess my dad left behind.
One thing at a time though. First the yard has priority, then the living room and common area.
I have sacrificed cleaning up the kitchen to clean up the living room. The living room is more of a deep cleaning project, and the kitchen is a daily task. It will be worth it in the end.
I never ended up scattering the rose remains from my grandpa's memorial. I think I will cut them and keep them in a mason jar until the anniversary of his death this year. He is missed. So is my grandma.
I felt pretty good after cleansing my space with sage, and think I should definitely do it more often. I know I pick up other people's energies and it clings to me like static cling. I have not mastered the art of empath shielding, but I am working on it. The necklace I bought really does make a difference, and I made sure to waft smoke over it too.
I have not spent any time reading or studying, so I have no interesting news to share. I have been recovering from my caffeine and Diet Mountain Dew addiction. Soon I will be feeling the effects of trying to quit nicotine, and I know I will feel that deep down too.
Caleb is getting more interested in studying with me by the day. I cannot think with the house being a disaster area. I have been trying all this time to remedy the situation, and only now have been able to make a difference. Once we get things on track for project "cleanliness is close to godliness", I will be able to sit with him in a clean space and study for long periods of time without distraction. Right now, I am trying so hard to maintain clean spaces because they are not deep cleaned to the point of only needing maintenance. If I can teach Caleb these things first, it will make both our lives so much better and easier. I have just got it to the point where I can keep cleaning the kitchen and cooking repeatedly throughout the week. It's alot of work. We are getting to the point where we can add more to the routine, which is needed because the bathroom is a disaster area too. I am trying my best to schedule things in and take care of not only myself , but Caleb and Bella as well. I am trying to manage things on my own. I can be my own worst enemy, and also I have health problems that keep me down. I only get so far, and then I lose track because of health problem complications.
I am trying to be more accepting of divine guidance and assistance. It has been said that the inability to accept or even ask for help is a trauma response. Being overly-independent is a trauma response. So I am working on that. I like to work with crystals, candles, incense, sage, and cooking things with herbs. I like to take dietary herbal supplements to help me with my health problems. I think I am doing a good job working my craft into everyday life. It is so seamless and happens with ease because I have done most of these things without even thinking for alot of my life. It still comes as a surprise to me that I am a Christian Witch.
At some point I need to take a shower, badly. I have been sweating while working and sweating while sleeping. I have developed an under the breast rash on my left side. I need to find a way to stay dry. During the summer I would use a dry powder spray, but I forget what I used. I will have to look again the next time I go to Walmart.
Caleb is trying to get me to keep my skin moisturized. He likes to put moisturizing cream on my hardened elbows.
I wake up to inflamed knees. I find it odd. I don't know why they get inflamed while I am sleeping?
I feel pretty good right now. I don't feel like a dried up soda-craving maniac like I did when I use to get up. I know I am hydrated now. LOL I drink so much water! I drink about 160 fluid ounces every 24 hours, and sometimes more.
I had no rice, bread, pasta, or potatoes today. I think when I go to weigh in on Monday, I will be pleasantly surprised. I hope I can afford to buy more fresh vegetables for my dinners. I am low on money until I get paid again. Aunt Lisa sent me money to be able to put gas in the Mazda so I could drive to Fayetteville for my appointment. I think, since I have cancelled that appointment, by her suggestion, that I will have enough money to buy more fresh vegetables if I run out. Thank God for her! I never have enough money. It is embarrassing. I bought foods for Caleb to eat with my money. I bought him easy thing she can make for himself when he is hungry like chicken nuggets, fish fillets, and tater tots. Aunt Lisa sent Velveeta Shells and Cheese, corn, and black eyed peas. I bought more black eyed peas this last trip to the grocery store because he likes them so much and eats them almost everyday now. He has a variety of canned green beans, corn, and mixed vegetables to choose from. He eats them right out of the can when he is hungry. I bought him ham and American cheese, as well as string cheese. I bought him loaves multi-grain bread, which he liked so much that he ate a loaf a day. I bought Bella chicken livers and beef liver to mix with her food. I also bought Caleb and Bella sweet potatoes because they both like them alot. I'm just saying, you know, because at the end of the day I wonder... "Where did all my money go? I just got paid."
I am not paying more than $3/day for water anymore. I bought that water filter tank and am using it for all it's worth. I drink alkaline water in all my drinks now, without worrying if I will have enough water for the next day. It is a huge relief because I do feel the difference drinking alkaline water versus filtered water from the fridge or even from distilled water.
Bella found peace on the clean sofa once I cleaned it and put it back together. She slept on the sofa the whole day while I was cleaning up. I could tell she was relieved to not have much of a mess around. It was highly visible in her body language.
Caleb is happy to have floor space to play with his hot wheels cars now. I told him he could have had it all along if he would just get up and put his trash in the trash can where it belongs!
We found a couple of pairs of his white socks, but it is till a mystery where the majority of them went. I swear that clutter breeds trolls and faeries who love to move stuff, steal stuff, and make mischief.
My workspace is cluttered again and need re-organizing. I can't wait to get the furniture where it belongs so I can use the additional bookcases to store my stuff, instead of having things in boxes like I just moved in.
I really feel empowered by this new year. I am making lifestyle changes that I tried all last year to make, but they never stuck. I failed so many times, and it is nice to finally get to a point where I am not failing every time. I still fail, but not as frequently. I am taking better care of myself. I am not feeling like I am in recovery mode as much. I feel like I can stand on my own two feet more often. My self confidence is increasing. My self-esteem is getting better. I am able to move more , more days than I was last year. I still feel overwhelmed some times. I still need help sometimes. I still reach out to communicate with other adults. Being on lock down is not easy as a single parent with little local support. Being in so much debt is not easy either. I think raising a child is hard no matter who you are. I could be wrong.
Reporting the rape was liberating from all the guilt I carried all this time. It was not my fault I got pregnant out of wedlock, before my divorce was final, while in the Army, while in Korea. I was made to feel bad about something I had no control over. It was traumatic for years. All the constant questions I had to face were never ending. I am glad I made it through that, and I hope I can press charges. I am glad that Caleb has no ties or emotional or spiritual connection to the idea of who his biological father was or is. It does not hurt him for me to defend myself. Thank God for that.
Caleb loves me. He knows me as his parent. I am sure he knows he is loved.
I am really interested in having more selenite around. I would like more charging plates for my crystals, and a few bowls. I would also like a large chunk of black tourmaline to keep by my bedside.
I ordered a new essential oil the other day, when I thought I had enough money that I could spend it. It was a BOGO free deal, and I couldn't resist. The fragrance is from Vitality Extracts and is called "Sacred Scent". It is a blend of Cedarwood, Orange, and Lavender to "help relieve stress and anxiety", Frankincense and Sandalwood to "encourage cognitive function and memory", Juniper Berry and Myrtle to "Promote healthy circulation", and also Myrrh to "work as healing agents for skin, reducing the appearance of scars and fine lines." Separately these oils would cost alot, but I got a deal on the blend that is likely what I would have done anyway.
I have used the "Pain Away" and "Inner Peace" from Vitality extracts with success, so I am really looking forward to getting it the mail.
So today we will try to complete finishing the prep work on the living room so that I can pet vac and pet carpet clean over the weekend. Caleb will have to clean up his mess in the front yard. That's all that's on the schedule for today. It might not seem like alot, but deep cleaning the living room is no joke. We are going to have to move furniture around to get underneath everything, and while we are at it move them to where I want them to be. I might have to go out to buy some cheap white wash clothes so I have something reusable to dust with, but other than that, we are going to stay home. I might even run the diffuser with some essential oils today, who knows? LOL I do love my candles, incense and sage though.
I took my iron pill and orange juice when I got up at midnight. It's time I go back to bed. I am awake, but feel like I could easily fall asleep once I'm in bed. If not, I have my book and book light now by the bed waiting for me to to pick them up.
No comments:
Post a Comment