Today's prompt is "What question (or questions) do you love to answer?" I don't love to answer any questions that I can think of.
It is now 3:39 a.m. here. I have completed a Food Lion and a Publix survey in the hopes of winning free food. I also just placed my Swanson Vitamins order. Hopefully it will not take as long to get here as the last order. I placed the last order on December 3, and just got it delivered yesterday. Yesterday I felt like I didn't do much. It was the second day of my period, and I just couldn't get moving. Caleb went for a walk and wanted me to pick him up on his way home. So I decided to go ahead, while I was out, to go to the Hope Chest thrift store to deliver our donations. We then went to Publix to buy some fresh bread.
We came home, and I ate the leftover jambalaya for lunch. There was not much left. I boiled a simmer pot with the frozen slices of fruit I saved from the last time I did a simmer pot. I added cinnamon sticks, cloves, and a whole nutmeg. Later I added ground cinnamon, and ground nutmeg.
I got hungry and wanted to make a giant salad for my second lunch, so I did. I washed a couple of dishes. Later we went to Food Lion to buy a few things. I found carne picada on manager's special, and discounted, so I bought some. I figured Bella might like to try some, and Caleb might want to have some for dinner.
Caleb never ate the potatoes he promised to eat. I made the carne picada with zucchini and squash. It was delicious with a little olive oil , salt, and pepper. I mixed a little raw carne picada, leftover dry chicken, ginger veggie blend, and kibble for Bella. She licked the bowl clean! I am so happy I can give her food she enjoys. It makes me a happy mama.
I did start the laundry yesterday morning. I think I might have gotten one load dry.
I have been remembering to check my blood sugar in the morning. I am supposed to be tracking my glucose for the next month to report to the pharmacist I am working with who specializes in diabetes. I found that I did receive the new dose of Lisinopril already. I have been waiting all this time, and it was delivered on December 27th! Ugh. I thought that was a refill of the old dose, and put it in my storage drawer. So, I took the Spironolactone in the morning for the first time. I messaged my PCP to schedule an appointment for me to come in on January 25th afternoon. I have to go in to the clinic to take labs, and be seen by the nurse to check my blood pressure. I have another appointment on January 25th with neurology, so I would like to do everything in one trip.
I have been keeping up with Stella everyday. We are both stay-at-home non-workers. We help keep eachother accountable and on track for our own goals. We are both in the Awakened Soul Coven so we are studying the same things. She has good ideas too. We both have fibromyalgia and diabetes. We both have other health issues too.
Caleb is awake. He woke up when I came to get charged batteries for my e-cigarette. He is talkative and loud. He likes to have the tv on , connected to his computer so he can watch youtube videos. The people he watches on youtube are loud. I just want some quiet time. I mean, it's early as fuck in the morning. I can't think with all this noise around me all the time.
I flossed, brushed, and rinsed my teeth last night, and I did not bleed! Progress! I have been diagnosed with gingivitis and am trying to get away from that. I am trying harder now that I have to be a role model for Caleb. Apparently he watches me more than I realize, and I need to get my act together.
I need to take a shower today. If that is all I do today, it will still be a good day. I need to catch up on my reading and studies. I am supposed to have family study time with Caleb about Baptism. I think I will let the goal of picking up trash go for tomorrow, so I can have a day to take care of myself and relax a little bit without spending the day trying to force myself to work.
I had to buy replacement parts for the stove. The heating elements are falling apart and are unsafe to cook on. I also had to buy replacement earrings because I lost one somewhere, and I can't seem to find it. I look like a pirate with just one medium sized hoop in.
I have to replace the battery on the Mazda. I can't keep it charged anymore. I guess it is just that time. I have charged it fully several times, and it is not holding a charge for more than a few days. I wish my stimulus check would hurry up and get here so I could pay for it without using credit. I don't think that check is going to go far. I have to pay vehicle taxes and registration, and will have to pay to file income taxes. I am going to have to just hold on to as much of that check as I can to cover expenses I know I have coming up that I can't really afford, and unplanned expenses. I am not going to be able to get things fixed around the house for a while. I thought I might be able to get one thing fixed on the house with that check, but now I am thinking I can't.
To my surprise, I got an increase in EBT benefits this month. I thought they were going to decrease the amount I get because of the increase in my Social Security and VA disability payments that I am getting to offset inflation. I do not know what the cause in the increase is, if it is a matter of the recent legislation for COVID-19, or if it is in relation to my new income, or both. I wish I knew for sure. In any case, I really need it, so I am thankful I got it.
Caleb made himself frozen fish fillets for a snack. He has eaten and calmed down. I think he is going back to sleep. He was asking me question after question. OMG. He is so hyper active. If I had his energy, I could rule the world.
I also started taking my new mulit-vitamin today as well as the Cortisol support supplement I got in the mail. I have been wearing my FIR waist wrap daily for the last few days. I am hoping it will help me lose inches around my waist.
I found out,
"Sugar substitutes don't affect your blood sugar level. In fact, most artificial sweeteners are considered "free foods"- foods containing less than 20 calories and 5 grams or less of carbohydrates- because they don't count as calories or carbohydrates on a diabetes exchange." - Mayo Clinic
Also,
"Diet sodas increase the risk of diabetes by negatively affecting gut bacteria, insulin secretion, and sensitivity. They also cause blood sugar levels to spike when a person eats carbohydrates, increasing waist circumference and body fat. This can make insulin sensitivity and blood sugar management worse." - Medical News Today
And one more thing,
"Some studies suggest that drinking coffee- whether caffeinated or decaffeinated- may actually reduce your risk of developing type 2 diabetes. If you already have diabetes, however, the impact of caffeine on insulin action may be associated with higher or lower blood sugar levels."- Mayo Clinic
So, I need to quit drinking diet soda for sure. I am going to drink what I have at a slower rate, until I have none left, and will attempt to not buy any more.
Question, "Does nicotine raise insulin?"
Answer: " ...Insulin helps blood sugar enter cells, nicotine changes cells so they don't respond to insulin, which increases blood sugar levels. Chemicals in cigarettes harm cells in your body and cause inflammation. This also makes cells stop responding to insulin."- CDC
So I definitely need to quit my e-cigarette. I am going to stop drinking Diet Mountain Dew first, as I think that will be an easier win for me. I am going to try to increase my mindfulness of using the e-cigarette to try to wean myself off using it. I know I can't just quit. I have tried that time and time again, and failed. The urge to vape is too strong. I wish I could eat a cannabis gummy and be good. I'm waiting for NC to legalize cannabis, but I bet they will be one of the last states to make it legal just because NC is such a huge tobacco state.
I had really bad intestinal cramps last night. I mean horribly strong! I could not make it stop. I had to get into an awkward position to try to stretch it out on my bed. Man did that shit hurt!
It is now 5:06 a.m. here. Yesterday morning after I wrote my blog, I went on to watch some of the Awakened Soul Coven videos. I watched all of the "Meet the Mentors" videos. I went ahead and made a list of the things I need to do to catch up in studies. I re-read the month 1 workbook, and read the month 2 workbook for the first time. I don't want to jump into the January, month 3, stuff until I have caught up. I am trying to make sure I keep notes in my book of shadows and mirror books, but life gets busy. I have not been staying up that long in the mornings anymore, because I have not been sleeping well at all, and am really tired.
I actually woke up this morning drenched in my own sweat. It is 52 degrees in my house currently. I should not be sweating a pool. I had to get up to dry off and cool off.
I have set out to also reduce my carbohydrate intake. I have to be more mindful about what I am doing to myself. I want to be healthy again. Making these changes will help me alot more than I think. I did not realize that diet soda was so bad for me. I knew vaping wasn't the best thing, but I use to be a smoker. I smoked a pack a day at one time in my life.
I am using alkaline water in my nightly flavored water-Miralax drink that I take to bed with me. I need to move towards drinking the caffeinated flavor water (packets) that I bought instead of soda. I had the intention, I just haven't done it yet. I am steadily moving in the right directions. I am hoping making these corrective actions will give me more energy to get work done that I need to get done. If that happens, losing weight will be easier, as I will be able to move more.
I am in a much different place now than from one year ago. I am proud of what I have accomplished. It was alot easier without toxic people around. It was still not easy, but it was easier without all the baggage that comes in toxic relationships. I can focus more on what I need now. I am able to decrease my balances on some of my credit card accounts. I am spending more quality time with Caleb. I don't suffer as much pain on a daily basis. I am becoming more able to do things every day, rather than every week. I do not feel trapped. I do not feel the need to escape my home. I have my own space. I am sleeping on my bed, rather than the old couch. I am not overheating in my own home. I do not have to answer to people who do not really care about me or Caleb. I do not suffer my PTSD as much as I was. I do not have as many problems with my anxiety. I am better able to handle my on-going depression. I do not feel the need to sleep to avoid people, escape my life, or escape my pains.
I like the slower pace of running around brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic. I use to have so many appointments in Wilmington, and then there were Caleb's appointments, Bella's appointments, my dad's appointments, Sharon's appointments, or Christinia's , or Harlee's. I was the grocery shopper and the meal maker. I was the laundry doer. I was the bathroom cleaner. I was the floor cleaner. Some of this stuff, I still am, but... it's just Caleb, Bella, and me now. I am not driving everyday. I can relax in my home more often. I am not as stressed out about having to go somewhere all the time. Generally speaking, I am not as exhausted and fatigued. It was a hard adjustment to make. I did not know what to do with myself without being pulled in every direction by everybody. I am able to find more peace throughout the day now.
I went ahead and bought a pre-biotic and a pro-biotic supplement to help get my gut flora back in check. I wanted to buy yogurt today while at Food Lion, but they all had too much sugar, and I do not exactly like the taste anyway.
I need to go back to bed, but first I need to take my iron pill and orange juice.
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