Today's prompt is "If you had to spend five years in prison, what would you finally have the chance to do?" Sleep.
It is now 2:!3 a.m. here. Yesterday was a productive day. I was not in much pain. I slept in late, and did not want to wake up. I got up though, and took my medications and had a small breakfast of blueberries and fat free cottage cheese. I gave Caleb his meds. After catching up on facebook, I went and took a shower. I decided I would wear one of my new sports bras, along with my new compression tank top, and compression shorts under my clothes. I also wore my FIR waist wrap. I even put on makeup!
It was about 2:00 p.m. when we left the house to run errands. First we went to put gas in the Mazda. Next we went to Walmart Auto Center to replace the battery in the Mazda, and get an oil change. While we were waiting our turn, I went grocery shopping. Caleb wanted to stay at the Auto Center waiting area and play on his computer, instead of shopping with me, so I shopped alone. I spent more than an hour filling a shopping cart of groceries and checking out. I came back to the waiting area, and it wasn't long before the Mazda was ready to go. Once done there, we had to go to the pharmacy to pick up Caleb's medication refills.
The pharmacy tech who helped us at the drive thru knew who we were. I asked "How did you remember him?" (referring to her knowing Caleb's name). She replied ," I have a pretty good memory." She is very friendly and we had a conversation about Caleb's psychiatrist because her son with Autism also sees Ms. Kathy. I tried to pump her up, and let her know it's her job as her son's mama to take charge with the providers, especially if she thinks things are not going right. I hope I gave her some confidence.
Then we came home. Caleb took his time unloading the groceries from the car. I immediately went to make a bowl of salad to eat. I was beyond ready to eat that salad as I had not had lunch. I carried my water jug with me all day today. I mixed a big packet of sugar-free Early Sunrise (orange) and two small packets of sugar-free lemonade with caffeine and electrolytes together. It tasted pretty good, and I sipped on it throughout the afternoon as I shopped and ran errands. I did not drink Diet Mountain Dew in the Mazda like I always do. I did not drink Dew after the first one I had with breakfast. Because I am still drinking caffeinated drinks, I am not going through withdrawals. I am sure I am better hydrated now though.
I ate leftovers from yesterday for dinner. Caleb just kind of continued to graze on snacks that I bought for him. I asked him if he could make himself something to eat for dinner, and he responded "Yes." I bought stuff I know he knows how to cook, so... no reason to go hungry.
I took my medications, then fed Bella. I bought her chicken livers to try with her food. So I mixed raw chicken livers with the ginger veggie mix and kibble for her dinner. Another win! She licked the bowl clean again! I went to lay down in bed after that. I wanted to chat with Stella since she spends Sunday doing her D&D all day, but I was too tired, and pretty much went right to sleep.
Now there is no Dew in the house. There is a box of Dew in the Mazda trunk, and maybe a few cans of Dew in the front seat, but that's it. I can say "No to Dew" if it is not around me. Normally I would be drinking Dew right now, but I am drinking my flavored water-Miralax drink that I make every night. I took great steps in making sure that I had something to change to, because the fact of the matter is I need caffeine. I need water. I am thirsty and/or want to drink all day and all night long.
I feel pretty good in my new underclothes. I don't feel so swollen. Sometimes I feel like my body just wants to expand to the nether regions of space, I get so big. Today is Monday, so I weigh in first thing when I wake up. I wonder what the damage is from last week. I have not been keeping track of my meals like I use to because I no longer use the spreadsheet for my daily notes. Maybe I should get back to doing that.
Well, I did not ever get to picking up the trash off the floor this passed weekend, but I did alot of other stuff that needed to be done. That's why it's taking me so long to clean it. There is always something more important that needs to be done first. I may never get my house as clean as I want it. That sucks, to think that. I do try really hard.
I never sat down with Caleb to study this weekend either. I did not get a chance to read my books, or study. Today I have no plans and only one appointment by telephone. I don't know what I will accomplish today, but I hope at the end of the day I can say I was able to do alot of things I needed to do.
I am waiting for the stimulus check to arrive. I borrowed money from Aunt Lisa to pay for the battery replacement because I was having to jump start the Mazda every time I wanted to go somewhere. It would not hold a charge, even though I have charged it fully at least 3 different times. I am so glad she was able to help me get a replacement sooner than the check arrival. Who know when that thing will get here? The mail is so unpredictable right now. I don't even know if the IRS website is accurate in the date they say they planned to mail the check. Why wouldn't you put tracking on a check? SMDH
When I get the check, I have to get the Mazda inspected, and pay the registration and taxes on it to renew my registration. So I will have spent about $300 of the check just on maintaining my transportation.
I have to budget for Bella's next vet appointment, her medication, and food. I give her Bravecto which is a 3 month tablet for fleas and ticks. I think she gets her annual exam in April. So, that might be about $400.
The rest will have to go into savings for unplanned expenses. We won't get to do anything else.
I am thinking I should allow myself one meal a week that includes carbohydrates that I am trying to avoid. Otherwise, I will be hating life. I did not like keto when I was on it. I like to be able to have a tuna sandwich, or grilled cheese sandwich, or ham and cheese sandwich. I like being able to have pasta every once in awhile. I like throwing potatoes into the mixture of vegetables in the crockpot. I like to have jambalaya or Brazilian rice every once in awhile. I don't want to think I have to give everything I like up for the sake of being healthy, because that just isn't going to happen. I can decrease the amount of times I eat these things, but I cannot completely remove them from my diet.
I wonder if Mathew is getting ready for another deployment. I bet he is.
President-Elect Biden will be inaugurated in 10 days.
Georgia is blue!
2021 has been good to me so far. I hope it keeps it up.
I have to make some phone calls today to the VA billing office. I don't know why they don't educate the healthcare providers in the CCN network on how to properly bill the VA so they can get paid, but apparently there is a problem that I have to solve because they can't or won't . It's like, you get paid to do this! I don't get paid to do this. I had an appointment in December to see the hematologist that was a referral by my PCP at the VA clinic. The appointment was scheduled through the VA, why is the VA now not paying the bill? The hematologist is even within the network of preferred providers for the VA. How does any of this make sense? Anyway, I have to call about a hundred different VA numbers before I get the right number to speak to right person to fix the issue. The provider is telling me that the claim has been rejected due to me having another insurance coverage. VA is telling me that they have not paid the bill because the provider is within the CCN network and they need to file through CCN network policies, and not through VA directly. What the fuck?!
I am not going to the food pickup this month. It takes alot of time and patience to go through the process, and I might not even make it there in time to be one of the first 150 cars. After being turned away in December, I just don't feel like competing. I refuse to be there an hour early to beat the people who don't follow instructions and do that.
I am taking the cortisol support supplement about 3 times a day, a ew whole foods women's 40 plus multi-vitamin, and the MetaboRise supplement in addition to everything I am taking. I should see improvements over time.
I wonder if my dad ever cried about us. I wonder if he thinks about us at all. It's a sad situation that I cannot have a relationship with him. He is too unstable and unwilling to do the work on himself to get better. I have been told that I should stay clear of people like that, especially since I am an empath, but he is my dad. He raised me. I care. I just wanted to help and take care of my dad. Helping others makes me feel better. I can take the focus off my own suffering and make someone else happy, it makes me happy too.
My intestinal area where I had the bad cramps still hurt like I pulled a muscle. I have a bruise on my arm that I don't know how I got it. I have only one real scab on my neck now, instead of 8. I have scab at the corner of my mouth that I don't have faith will ever heal. Healing is such a long process for me. Diabetes sucks!
Caleb is asleep in the living room. Bella followed me out of the bedroom, and is probably laying near Caleb. It is now 3:37 a.m. here. I need to take my iron pill and orange juice and go back to bed. I hope I remember to weigh in when I wake up, because last week I forgot on Monday morning, and had to do it Tuesday.
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