Saturday, May 30, 2020

5 Year Journal Day 12

     Today's prompt is "What is your favorite accessory?" My favorite accessory is my large hoop earrings.

     Once upon a time, just before I was hospitalized, I had worked my way down to a size 6. I was the smallest and most fit I had ever been in my life. I desperately want to be small and fit again. I can't seem to make it happen. When I decided to lose weight before getting to that point, I was about 220 lbs. I wasn't being medicated for any reason. I was in full control of what I could do with my body. I was only 29 or 30 years old. I was already feeling old as the deadline to apply to be an officer in the Army was nearing. I was going to UNCW at the time, full time, on campus. I had Caleb in daycare all day Monday through Friday. I decided to start going to the gym. I became addicted with small victories. It became a game to challenge myself to work harder and longer.
     I was still dealing with fatigue and lack of adequate sleep. I was taking thermogenics from GNC. I started with Lipo 6 Black Hers. I wasn't drinking any soda at the time. I was carrying a protein shake with me to school, and would drink a gatorade after a workout. I drank all the water I wanted. I ate one individual packet serving of peaches and cream oatmeal in the morning, made with water. I drank the protein shake for lunch. I made myself either chicken breast or fish with vegetables for dinner. I was also taking herbal supplements to help with the movement of my joints, a multi-vitamin, and metamucil fiber pills.
     I began by walking for 30 minutes at a time, once a day, for 4 to 5 times a week. I gradually increased my time walking on the treadmill up to 45 then to 60 minutes. When this became easier, I started creating my own incline challenges, walking uphill. As I listened to my ipod, the time flew by. I felt better after each walk. It gave me time to myself.
     I got the idea to add weights to my body. I began collecting weights over time. I think I may have started with shoe weights. By the time I finished, I was up to weighted gloves, ankle weights, weighted vest, weighted shorts, shoe weights, neoprene shorts, and weights on my arms, and lower legs. It added up to about 80lbs of weights that I was carrying on my entire body. I looked ridiculous but my body was awesome for the workout.
     After I walked I would rest in my Far Infrared heated body sauna suit at home to recover.
     Having the medical conditions I have, and being on medications, I can no longer take thermogenics to help me have energy. I rely on Diet Mountain Dew to get through the day. I have attempted to diet by going on the keto diet. I lost about 10lbs in 2 months, and then started wavering. I ended up quitting. Now I am doing a variation on the theme. I am diabetic so carbohydrates and sugar should be severely limited anyway. I am increasing my protein intake so I won't be hungry all the time, and reducing my fat intake. I weigh in on Mondays. Last week I lost 1 lbs. from the week before. This may be how I need to continue for the foreseeable future.
     I do not eat much during the day. I have a full home cooked dinner every night though. I do still drink a lot of Diet Mountain Dew these days, but if you had to keep up with Caleb, you would need help too. I also chug down the water. I drink Sugar-free Twist during the night and early morning, because I can keep a 2 liter bottle next to where I sleep. I am almost always thirsty so having drinks around is important.
     According to my dietician, a person should take their weight in pounds, and divide it by half to get the number of fluid ounces of water needed per day. I'm roughly at 160 fluid ounces a day. Believe it or not, I drink more than that.
     I don't buy junk food on a regular basis. Some times I will buy tortilla chips and salsa or something like that, but even that is not that bad. It's harder when Caleb wants to eat junk, and we have junk food in the house that I like. For instance, Doritos. I have become more able to say no.
     I have tried using my Fitness Pal and also Total Keto Diet apps on my phone to track calories, macros, and weight. It's not really for me. I don't like micromanaging my intake. I don't want to think about food more than I have to. I have gotten to a point where I know what I can have and what I should stay away from. I know, for example, that although beans are not considered keto-friendly, I must eat them regularly if I want to be regular. I take medications that affect my body in unexpected ways, and I have to take that in consideration when I choose what to eat. I like to eat a cucumber or a stalk of celery with salad dressing, or hard boiled eggs for lunch. I have hard boiled eggs or frosted mini wheats for breakfast. I don't eat hard boiled eggs but once a day, if that. I include fresh vegetables in every dinner, along with a meat, and beans. I like to think of it as "At least 2/3 fiber, and at least 2/3 protein." It can be that way, because beans are both protein and fiber!
     I'm a creature of habit, so I don't need all these fancy recipes that are available online. I like to keep things as simple as possible.
     It's easy to look at me, and say, "You're fat because you eat junk." or "You're fat because you eat too many calories." It's not that cut and dry when you have medical conditions and take medications. I have gained weight over time, not all at once. As I gain weight, my hunger increases. My motivation to exercise decreases with the fibromyalgia and depression I am constantly fighting. It's hard to motivate myself to do something "extra" like exercise, when I can't get my dishes washed because my back hurts so bad. You see? Some of my medications directly cause weight gain.
     I'm not willing to drink protein shakes anymore. Most are not sugar-free, and I can't imagine a sugar-free protein shake being good enough to drink. I could be wrong. I stay trying to eat whole foods, as in not processed foods. If I can get it fresh, that's how I want it. I don't eat out very much, so that's not a problem I have.
     I stretch when I feel my body getting tight, but it's not on a regular basis. I was doing a women veterans' group at the VA clinic for chair yoga. It was awesome, but the 2 hours driving wasn't worth it, and I dropped out. I was meditating daily for a short time. Then I fell off the wagon as I got fatigued and in pain for several days and didn't do much of anything. It really does help, though, and I should start up again.
     I've been tired lately, and waking up at 2:00 am isn't helping. My doctor thinks my caffeine consumption is to blame for my disrupted sleep cycle. I think it's a mixture of things, like my sleep apnea, my allergies, dry mouth/ dry throat and coughing because if it, having to use the bathroom, overheating, and maybe my caffeine consumption.
     In any case, I've got my custom insoles and lift now, and I need to make some time to walk at least 15 minutes a time on my incline trainer. Taking the first step is often the hardest for me. Once I get going, I'm unstoppable! Research shows that breaking up exercise routines like walking for 15 minutes, is better than not exercising at all. So I have to get away from thinking, "Well, I don't have 30 or more minutes, so it's not worth it."








     After thought: I do take supplements daily. I am experimenting with the doTerra line of health supplements. I take 1) the doTerra MicroPlex VMz , which is the multi-vitamin, something I would normally be taking anyway (just a much more economical version) 2) doTerra xEO Mega, which is basically a supplement to the mutli-vitamin of marine, plant, and essential oils 3) doTerra Mito2Max, which is supposed to support my metabolism. I also take an electrolyte capsule because I don't get them any other way. It's cheaper than spending on Gatorades or Powerades, and not as hard to find in bulk. I take psyllium fiber capsules daily as well, because I have trouble staying regular. As far as medication to help curb hunger, I take Victoza, prescribed by my primary care. 
     I do take a lot of prescribed medications, but I'm not going to go through all of them as it would probably bore you. Just know that if I have been diagnosed with it, I probably have a medication for it. I took pictures of my morning, afternoon, and night medications and supplements to give you an idea of why I was trying to reduce the number I am taking daily. 




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