I have been reading a little of "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brene Brown each morning after I write my blog. I am now on page 49 of 130. This book is good for anyone to read. I have found that it supports the classes I am currently taking, in that it talks about accepting oneself and not allowing shame to overrule one's life. It is a very positive message and I appreciate it. Words like "compassion", "love", and "belonging" are used, and resonate deeply within me.
I have been writing my neighbor, who is in jail. I send him a letter a week updating him on the things happening out here. I also send him a copy of my blog. I figure it's something for him to read and occupy his time, if nothing else.
I feel staying at home with Caleb has allowed me to better influence his behavior. When he gets angry, I do not react, I simply lead him to work through his own thoughts and emotions. It's bringing us closer together and teaching him to communicate more effectively.
Nichole is in a crisis, and I have no way to help her. All I can do at this point is listen and pray.
Caleb's promotion parade is later today, Wednesday. We are going to his school to start the parade in the afternoon. It will be by car, and all the 5th graders are invited to participate. Usually there would be some sort of graduation ceremony to celebrate the end of the 5th graders' elementary school career. Tomorrow is Caleb's last day of elementary school. He hasn't been doing his schoolwork since being at home, so it doesn't make that much of a difference to him. I tried to get him to do his work, but he is stubborn. I will try to work with him during the summer on the workbooks I have collected.
I got confirmation from Mathew that he received the letter I mailed him. He didn't say anything in return though. I wonder if he will write me back.
I don't know if I mentioned this is an earlier post, but I wanted to share that after Christinia left in January, I was concerned about what would happened if I had an emergency situation and could not care for Caleb and Bella myself. I worried about what would happen if I died as well. I came up with a plan to plan what I WANT to happen in those events, and took my power back over those fears. I created a binder for each, one titled "Emergency" , and the other titled "In case of my death." I would like to share the table of contents of each binder, just in case someone else goes through the same thing. It will provide a good starting place to regain control.
First thing I have listed in the Emergency binder is the WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan). If you have never heard of this, I invite you to look it up and create one of your own. There is now an app that will allow you fill it out on your phone and print it out. It details what you need to recover and get better, as well as who to contact.
2) Caleb's emergency sheet, which is a document that lists emergency medical information that I would need immediately if something were to happen. It documents his blood type, emergency contacts, and medications his takes.
3) Caleb medical spreadsheet is a document that lists all his medical providers and their contact information
4) Caleb's Care spreadsheet is his usual routine and schedule, noting when he takes his medications
5) Copy of important documents such as Social Security card, Military ID, and Medicaid card
6) Copy of Caleb's birth certificate
7) Copy of Caleb's paternal DNA results and letter, because the person listed on his birth certificate is NOT his biological father
8) Copy of Caleb's American passport
9) Copy of Caleb's Immunization Record
10) Police Investigation/Incident Report (Against my dad)
11) Police Department Operations Report copy (Against my dad)
12) Domestic Violence Order of Protection (Against my dad) to ensure he does NOT gain custody of my son
13) copies of other court documents related to the incident
14) Bella's care spreadsheet noting what medication she is on, and her daily schedule
15) Bella's shot record
16) My emergency info document with the list of my medications
17) copies of my military related ID cards, social security card, medicaid, medicare, driver's license
18) copy of American and Brazilian passports
19) my birth certificate copy
20) copy of my marriage certificate
21) copy of my divorce decree
22) copy of my VA Disability benefits letter
23) copy of my and Caleb's Social Security benefits letters
24) Bills spreadsheet of when I pay my bills
25) login info for how to pay my bills in my absence
26) copy of my DD-214
So that's my Emergency Binder, the binder used in all cases where I do not die. The Death binder is slightly different, in that it contains the official originals of the documents, and not copies of the things I do not carry in my purse. Also, included in the Death Binder is my notarized and official Will. I also put Caleb's savings account information and college savings account information in there. Oh, I almost forgot to include the original of my accidental death policy (I do not qualify for better life insurance coverage).
If you have any dependents, it's really important to have their information readily available to the person who would care for them in your absence. I know quite a few people who do not even know where these documents are located. It pays to be prepared. Anything can happen at any time. You just never know. I hope this helps steer some people in the right direction. I know it's a lot of information, that's why I put mine in document protectors and in a binder. In case of an evacuation (we have hurricanes), I can just pick up the 2 binders, no problems, and be on my way.
I just want to mention that when the COVID19 problems began, I really began to worry about my death if I should catch it. I am considered a high risk for severe problems and death if I do catch it. So, I was already in a panic in January, and had my records squared away before the outbreak. It's important to share your plan of action with the people who would be responsible in your absence. Anyway, that's one reason I was taking my anxiety medication regularly at the time. I have since calmed down quite a bit, and have been able to quit taking it.
As a side note, it's this kind of work that made me good at my job in the Army. Just saying. I loved my job. Hated most of my bosses, but loved my job. If things had been different, I would have stayed in service for as long as possible. I was actually considering becoming a Warrant Officer in Logistics. I had someone to mentor me, a fellow female soldier who already made it happen for herself. I would have been awesome. I love working in Supply. It really allows me to utilize my strengths, such as organizing and recording data, and providing for troops.
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