Giving up an addiction

     I am giving up an addiction today. It has made me feel sick this week. My over-consumption of Diet Mountain Dew has gotten out of control. The only way I know how to control it, is to not buy any. I haven't succeeded in the past. I don't know if I will succeed today. The point is, I'm trying to quit. My health is important, and I don't enjoy feeling sickly. I don't know how I will feel without Diet Mountain Dew. I have been drinking it for more than a few months now. I hope I am still able to get up in the morning, and do what I need to do.
     I want to have more control of my body. This is a step in the right direction.

UPDATE:
     I am doing fairly well off the medications I stopped taking. I am not suffering from allergies. I am not suffering from lower back pain on a daily basis. I am struggling with my diet soda addiction to stay awake, but I think I will be ok without it. Lastly, I did have an anxiety attack last Friday, but just because I don't take anxiety medication daily, doesn't mean I can't use it when I need it.  I totally used it on Friday. I also threw in some non-medication therapies like using a weighted blanket, my doTerra essential oils, and I may have used my alpha-stim. Bella came to my rescue too. She knows when I do not feel well. I did not keep my emotions to myself. I reached out to a family member I speak to on a regular basis, who knows my baseline, to assess my situation and get help. It worked. Sometimes I can't see myself, and need someone else's eyes and ears.
     I just got a letter in the mail that my appointment with the VA for my annual women's exam is still in effect. I hope I will be able to go to the lab and have some bloodwork done. I would like to see the changes in my A1C. I was on the keto diet for about 2 and half months. I let go after not losing weight, and it happened to around my 37th birthday. I want to defeat my diabetes. I need to exercise. I know this more than anything. I have trouble getting started. It's the first step that is the hardest for me.

     I am currently taking 2 courses through the Shift Network. The first one is "Become Your Own Medical Intuitive: Energy Medicine to Clear & Balance Your Physical & Spiritual Immune Systems." We are on week 5 of 7. It is being taught by Mona Delfino. I have learned quite a bit in this class, and will have to review the class videos again. My memory is not good, so I need some repetition. Mona has provided a few exercises to do at home, some guided meditations, and some deepening practices. I am taking full advantage of everything offered. I know that I will become stronger with practice. I do feel this class has made it easier to feel like I am in my own body. Many times, I feel disconnected from my body. Some of this has to do with trauma, some with not getting good sleep, and some from the medications I am on.
     The second class is "Mastering Your Energetic Field As an Empath or Highly Sensitive Person: Support & Practices for Owning Your Intuition, Strength, and Resilience." It is being taught by Bevin Niemann. We had our first class yesterday. It is an 8 week course. I want to feel ok being me, and this course title called to me. I am interested to see what I will learn.
     I have been researching the things that are being presented at The Shift Network and other resources since about 2002, when I was in my early 20's. It's fascinating to me, and my curiosity never ends. I probably would have researched it sooner if I had access to my own computer sooner, with internet access of course. I created all kinds of journals at the time of the information I collected. I could have written a book! I had at least 6 journals full. I'm glad to have found a safe place for me to meet others who have the same interests. The things we can do with our minds is amazing! We all have what it takes to do phenomenal things. We just have to learn how to access that part of ourselves, to remove the barriers.