Today's prompt is "What are you reading right now?" I am reading a book titles "A Discovery of Witches" by Deborah Harkness. I only read during my downtime on the weekend, if I am able, so it's a slow process. I haven't picked it up in a few weeks now.
I am in the middle of a 3 different online classes through the Shift Network. The first one is "Become Your Own Medical Intuitive: Energy Medicine to Clear & Balance Your Physical and Spiritual Immune Systems" by Mona Delfino. We are on week 6 of 7. The second class is "Mastering Your Energetic Field as an Empath or Highly Sensitive Person: Support and Practices for Owning Your Intuition & Resilience" by Bevin Niemann. We are on week 3 of 8. The third class is "The Sacred Awakening Course: A Full Spectrum Initiation to Sacred Living" by the Shift Network founders Stephen Dinan and Deva Haley Mitchell. I am on week 2 of 10. So there is reading involved in all of those classes.
In addition, I am involved in the WoVen women veterans' group that meets on Sundays. We are using a workbook in meetings, so that is more reading. Then let's not forget that I am referencing a "Q & A a day" 5 year journal for the prompts of my blog. I also receive free mindfulness worksheets from Mindfulness Matters from time to time, and I read them. Then there are the free printouts I get in my email for Caleb's growth, the most recent one was about pen pals. I read Facebook all the time, usually for veterans related news, but also for COVID19 news.
The end of Caleb's school year is near, and we are preparing for his transition from elementary school to middle school. I can't believe my only baby is already 11 years old. I always wanted a sibling close to his age for him, but it just didn't work out that way. I would be a totally different person without Mathew, the brother I grew up with. I love and miss him. He is currently deployed in the Middle East. He serves in the U.S. Army. I sent him a letter about a week ago or so. I wonder when he will get it. Caleb likes to wear my ACU's (Army Combat Uniforms). I think he has a good chance of going in to the Army. He would be the 3rd generation of our family to serve in the Army if he did, which would be pretty awesome.
I have to plan out what I want to accomplish over the summer. I have general plans for what I want to do for myself, my personal goals, but I need a plan for Caleb. I don't want the summer to go to waste, spending all his time playing video games. I have workbooks that I would like to do with him to keep him learning. I have been told that we can keep the chromebook we borrowed from his school, for the summer. There are educational games he can play on it. I have not been successful in getting him to do work all this time at home, but that is because it requires my full attention. He will not work on his own. He needs direct and full supervision to stay on task. I don't give him my full attention through most of the day, as I am trying to get my own things done. At some point, he is going to have to learn to be responsible for himself and his work.
I have decided to quit doTerra. It is just not right for me. It is time consuming in a way that I am not willing to give in to. I have tried the Live Well kit which includes a multivitamin, and other supplements. I have seen no immediate positive results. I like the essential oils, but they are expensive. I like what the company has to offer, but I do not believe a direct sales person should be forced to purchase $150 of goods a month to make a commission. I like Hayley Hobson, and obviously she has a lot going for her, but she came in to the company years ago. I am more comfortable doing what I am doing now, for now.
I had the hardest time trying to buy paper towels in bulk. I use them for cleaning the kitchen. They only offer a limit of 1 pack of a 2 count pack of paper towels at the local Walmart. I would have to go shopping every other day just for paper towels! It's crazy. Thankfully, my Aunt Lisa was able to help me find some online. When are the grocery stores going to restock back to normal levels? What am I going to do once I run out of bleach based kitchen cleaner? There are none on the shelves. At least now, thanks to my Aunt Lisa again, I have a supply of toilet paper.
Yesterday was a pretty good day. I was productive, albeit slow, but I did not suffer a lot of pains. I did not require naproxen nor any of my topical ointments or creams for pain. My insoles are feeling more comfortable to me, instead of awkward. I see myself being able to walk on my incline trainer soon, in addition to doing my other chores, hopefully without causing pain.
My therapist wants me to consider doing EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) for my PTSD. She sent me some information, and I find it quite interesting. I think I would like to give it a try. I have to wait until patients are allowed back the clinic, so it might be August when I get scheduled, but I am looking forward to the results.
I was able to pay off my second credit card this month! Whoop whoop! (doing a little dance) I project that by the end of October, I will have 5 accounts paid off. That's good considering I didn't start this process until February this year. What a relief it will be. Now, I've had some hiccups. My car needed work, and I didn't know what was wrong. My kitchen sink was leaking. My air conditioner wasn't working properly. My toilet was running the water bill up from running all the time. My freezer broke down. I don't need anything else to break down! If it weren't for my Aunt Lisa, I would not have had enough money to make ends meet.
Last year, when I was estimating for the months ahead, I had my dad and Sharon living with us. They paid a small amount every month for rent. I never expected that they would have had to move out like they did. I never, not even in my wildest dreams, imagined that my dad would choke my son. I mean, who would think that a grandpa would do that to their first biological grandson? They had to move out rather quickly and unexpectedly, and I lost that income. Then, at that time, Christinia and her daughter were also living with us. She wasn't paying rent, as she had no income, but she would help provide food for the family meals. It was one less thing I had to worry about, considering all the drama taking place. When she moved out, I was out of the rent from my dad plus the groceries from her. I was in between a rock and a hard place. I need my credit score to increase, so it wasn't like I could just not pay all of my bills, in order to ensure we had food.
I've been looking for ways to make money for a long time. I have special needs and can't work a regular 9-5 job. I'm a single mother with little to no support system for my son and dog. I use to be in pain most days. Now, I realize that it was stress-related. I use to require a lot more rest time during the day. Now, I realize that is because my dad and Sharon were up at all hours of the night, waking me up and making me uncomfortable and irritated. I did a workshop with the Wounded Warrior Program. I think it was called "Vets to Work" or something like that. I almost took a work at home job that I could do on the computer, but then I realized the conditions that had to be met. I know I can't sit at a computer for 4 or more hours at a time. My body hurts after an hour and a half! So that was out of the question. I need more flexibility than that. Many days, one of us has at least one appointment. On a regular, non-COVID19 day, that means at least 2 hours of driving. The day is gone, and all that has been done is getting to one appointment. It's shitty. One positive thing that came of COVID19 is that people have relied on online meetings and phone call appointments. This, alone, saves me so much time!
I was training to be a Peer Support Specialist, but Christinia ruined that with her emotional bullshit. I was forced to quit the second phase of training that is required by the state of North Carolina to become one. I wanted to work with veterans. She threw a fit because Caleb accidentally dropped one of his medications on the floor. I mean, she went batshit crazy about it. I couldn't deal with it and take a full time 6-8 hour a day class for 2 weeks. She was talking to me as if Caleb was trying to kill her toddler aged daughter. I mean, really? I'm telling you, her moving out was the best thing for us.
I have tried to sell some of my belongings on Facebook Marketplace, but was only able to sell my bike at a highly discounted price. Sometimes, I feel like I just can't win. I wish I could create a part time job for myself, doing something I love from home in my spare time. I haven't been able to come up with a solution yet. I thought doTerra would work out, but it's not. There are plenty of work-at-home opportunities for veterans, but if I have to fit to someone else's schedule, it's just not going to work. I have too many appointments. Caleb and Bella also have appointments. It's like my job is driving them around to run errands.
I'm wide awake and it's 2:39 in the morning. There's a thunderstorm outside and Bella is scared. She was begging me to go back to bed, but I am not ready. After letting her see outside for herself, and telling her I wasn't ready to go back to bed, she finally stopped begging me and went to lay down. She's my fur baby and I love her so much. She was sleeping next to me on the couch with her on the pillow next to mine. She loves to cuddle, and being close helps her through the storms. She starts to tremble from fear of the thunder and lightning. Poor girl.
I am wondering if I can get my mom and my Granny to do this journal with me. That would be cool! It doesn't take a lot of time. I write a lot because I love to write. I once bought my dad a journal titled something like "Things my Grandkids Say." He never even opened it to read it. He's more of an oral history guy anyway. He loves to tell stories. I'm not very vocal/verbal. I write more than I speak. It's always been that way. One day, it will be appreciated.
No comments:
Post a Comment