Life After the Army

     I was required to have a Family Care Plan that included a person who could escort and care for Caleb in the event their was an evacuation. I would not be permitted to leave the country and escort him to safety in the United States. At first, I was able to find someone I could trust to do this for me. Over time, this person moved away, and I was left with no alternatives. At least once a year. an exercise would be held to practice this plan as if an evacuation actually occurred. It was much like a fire drill. When I was forced to take Caleb to the checkpoints myself, to have him accounted for, I began to freak out about the possibilities. I quickly alerted my chain of command of my problem. I knew I could not stay in the Army under this condition. After much discussion, paperwork was started to have me removed from the Army. I was honorably discharged under "Parenthood." At some point while going through the process of being discharged, my next duty station orders came through. I was to go to Ft. Stewart, GA. I just had a deep sinking feeling that if I got there, it wouldn't be long before I deployed. I wasn't leaving my baby with anyone. After all, the people I would have relied on for support already told me or suggested that they wouldn't be helping me.
     I had no home in the United States anymore. I had been gone since from my last home since August 2006. I was divorced, and no longer shared a residence with my ex-husband. I got up the courage to ask my mom if I could stay with her until I found a place to live. When Caleb and I flew out of Korea to Georgia, my mom and my sister picked us up from the airport. We stayed with my mom for fewer than 3 weeks before she "found" a cabin I could rent, and that was that. It was not in my favor, as it was far from any colleges or universities. I fully intended on going directly to school and using my GI Bill to support myself. I had to apply to the closest school I could find that had a program I could invest in, North Georgia College and University I think it was called.
     I bought a 1998 Volvo S70 that was in good shape, my first car purchase (I don't count the Hyundai Sonata I bought for $600 in Korea).
     I was severely disappointed with the level of care I received, or my son received for that matter, while we were less than 15 miles away from my mom's house. She never called. She never invited us over for a Sunday meal. She never came to visit. It was like I was still in Korea, in that I was all alone in a foreign place.
    After spending a year at that cabin, I contacted my dad, or maybe he contacted me, I don't remember. He wanted us to move to Wilmington, NC with him and his partner, so I could go to school at UNCW and finish my degree. It sounded like a good plan. I hated living alone. I had what felt like a near death experience, and my mind immediately began to think "What would happened if I died here alone with Caleb home?" No one ever came to visit. No one called to check in on me. No one would find Caleb, and he would die too.
     I didn't make any friends at school. I had to drive almost 2 hours one way to go to class. It was stupid. My dad drove to my cabin and helped me move out before my lease had to be renewed. I applied to UNCW and was accepted. I had planned on going to nursing school, but once I realized that it required an additional application, and I had missed the deadline and would have to wait another full calendar year to apply, I quickly changed my plans. Caleb and lived with my dad and his partner, Sharon, until I could afford to move into my own apartment. They fought incessantly, and I hated it. They yelled and were unstable and scary.
     I already told you about what happened in 2013, so I won't repeat myself. I graduated with almost 2 business administration degrees in different concentrations in the Spring of 2015. I completed one fully, obviously, but the second one I had trouble with because it was Management of Information Systems. That by itself didn't create the problem. The problem was that a certain sequence of classes was expected, and I did not follow that sequence. I learned a particular coding language, and by the time I got to the capstone course, the coding language had changed, and I was completely lost as to what to do. 
     I met Billy on an online app. We went on a date towards the beginning of my residence in Wilmington. We lost contact for a number of years, and reconnected in 2015. He had a house in Oak Island, NC, and I was looking to buy a house after graduation. We made a deal, and I bought the house that he had been renting out prior. It happened to be the house next to his, and since we had been spending all of our time together, I didn't mind being his neighbor. I have been here ever since. I was able to use my VA benefits to purchase the house without a down payment.
    I spent the majority of my time in my own little world. I had no connections to anyone. I did what I felt I had to do, and that was it. It was not easy, by any means. I suffered a lot. Today, though, I have relationships with my mother, my Aunt on my dad's side, my sister-in-law, my therapist, my medical teams, my WoVen group, Wounded Warrior Project, and others. I am in contact with all of Caleb's providers, specialists, teachers, and some of his friends' parents. I am more socially connected now than I have been in my entire adult life, and I am happier for it. I am not alone.
    Caleb graduates from elementary school to middle school in a couple of weeks. Sometimes it seems like it happened so fast, but I know better. I felt every minute pass by. It was hard work to get this far, and I still have further to go.