Today's prompt is "What is your heroic downfall? Your Achilles' heel?" Mine is loving people who either don't love me or can't love me in the way I love them.
So I missed blogging yesterday. I did not get up to blog, and was busy all day. I spent the day making Christmas presents. The day before yesterday, I spent driving Caleb and a friends' kids through the town parade. I took Caleb, thinking my friend, Alisa, would take her kids. When Caleb and I came home, I asked her if she was going. I did not want her kids to miss seeing Santa. Long story short, I picked the kids up and Caleb and I drove through the parade a second time so the kids could get a chance to go. The parade floats parked alongside the road, and cars drove by to see the parade floats. It was a long day.
Yesterday was a long day too. I went through the day having almond milk for breakfast, and half a sweet potato for lunch. I did not realize how little I had eaten during the day until dinner time. I thought I ate more than I actually did. I was too busy with Christmas stuff.
Today I have alot to accomplish. I have to take a shower, go to the post office, and start dinner early in the crockpot all before I go to my hematology appointment. After my hematology appointment, I have one gift box I am still working on that I need to complete. I have to go to Walmart to buy envelopes to send gifts in, so that on Tuesday I send them out.
On Tuesday morning, Bella has her vet appointment for a heart worm shot. Tuesday afternoon, Caleb has his psychiatrist appointment and therapy appointment.
I have been hyper-focused on Christmas stuff. I really want to celebrate with family and friends in the only way we can this year- distantly. North Carolina saw an increase in positive Covid cases yesterday that exceeded 6,000, which is the new record for a daily positive case count. Things are getting worse. I think it may be because people are gathering for the holidays.
According to the last NC briefing on the vaccine, it should be available to priority 1 around December 15th. I will likely be in priority 1 because I have more than 2 illnesses.
It is getting cold outside. We still see temperatures in the 70s during the day though. I am ok as long as it doesn't rain. I have a hard time functioning when it rains.
Caleb and I have not put up the Christmas tree yet. It is leaning against the kitchen island, and needs to be set straight on its base, and plugged in. It is still dressed from last year. It never made it to the shed in January.
I have been working on the laundry, and am making slow progress. Finally, right?
I totally forgot the parade was Saturday, and thought I would be spending the day cleaning, until I remembered that the parade was coming up and looked to see when it was being held. I got practically no cleaning done, but I did make a fantastic dinner of my version of chili. It is made with stew beef, onions, yellow, orange, red, and green peppers, black beans, my special blend of seasoning and spices, and this time I added a whole jalepeno! I thought the jalepeno would stay intact, but it cooked so much that it fell apart. Ooops! I did not intend for Caleb to eat it, because he does not like spicy hot food. It didn't hurt the chili though. I made a huge crockpot full of chili, and only added one jalepeno, so once stirred it was hardly a threat.
Today I am going to cook a chuck roast with potatoes, onions, carrots, and celery in the crock pot. That way dinner will be ready when we finally get home.
I have to take out meat for the next meal from the freezer.
Yesterday, I directed Caleb to pick up his mess in the front yard. He had pieces of wood, trash, recycling, toys, tools, and God only know what else on the ground. We worked on the area between the cars and the porch. He still has to clean up the larger area of the front yard, but this was a good start to making things better and safer. The wood came from a coffee table he broke down to put in the trash, and also from pallets we had in the yard that were rotting. I don't think the toys on the ground were his, but they came from somewhere and needed to be trashed. He opened a can of paint and ruined it, so that needed to be trashed. There were paper and cans on the ground that needed to be recycled. I was out there pointing out all the little things I wanted off the ground and in the trash, since he didn't know what to do.
When Caleb was done, he went fishing, and I went back to my Christmas stuff.
On Saturday, Aunt Lisa received her package. It was full of goodies. I sent 1lbs. of home made fudge that was coconut creme flavored, 4 honey sticks that were mango flavored, and 2 bags of saltwater taffy. One bag was pina colada flavored, and the other bag was some type of coffee flavored. I sent each family member 2 candy canes, one peppermint, and one cherry. I sent each family member a bag with a craft ornament in it, meant to be painted. I sent each family member a bag with hand selected sea shells and sea glass in it. I sent Aunt Lisa a Hanukkah candle holder. So, yeah, that box was full of goodies!
The envelopes with necklaces and candy canes were delivered successfully to my witchy friends.
Last week we delivered gift bags to Alisa and kids, Shannon and family, and Donna and kids.
Caleb doesn't know this, but I have some specials things to give him too. They were not put in the duffel bag with the other gifts, so they will be a surprise! Bahahahaha! Merry Christmas!
Meanwhile, I am falling behind on my kitchen cleaning, and trash is amassing in the house. I need a second me to clean all day everyday, so I can do everything else that needs to be done. I have at least 5 laundry baskets of clean clothes to fold and put away in my room. I know Caleb is hiding dirty clothes in his room.
Caleb put raw bait shrimp in his backpack when he went fishing last week and that thing stinks to high heaven! OMG! It stinks so bad! I have got to wash it in the washing machine with laundry detergent and laundry sanitizer that I was lucky enough to buy when I went shopping early one day. I wish I could bleach it, but it is a black assault backpack, and that would ruin it.
Bella needs a spa day again. Her nails need trimming and filing. She needs a shower/bath. I need to brush her teeth, and clean her ears. It's a whole day to do all of that because we both need breaks in between each activity.
I need to remember to drive the Volvo before the battery drains again.
The Mazda needs to be cleaned out. It is full of Caleb's trash in the second row seating.
I just did my version of seated yoga for the upper half of my body. Feeling pretty good now. That really brought out some heat.
I weigh in later this morning. I am not looking forward to that. I hate seeing my weight increase. I feel like it should be staying the same plus or minus 1lbs. I am not out eating fast food everyday. I do better now with moving around than I did early this year, primarily because I am taking supplements to help decrease the pain I feel. I am sure that stretching in the mornings helps too. I am not always carrying my weight on my neck and shoulders. I should be carrying my weight on my hips and core area. I am trying to be more mindful of how I walk so that I can consciously make adjustments and not hurt myself. I am sure the amount of calories I consume is less than it was last year when I was with my dad all the time. We ate lunch out alot because we had alot of appointments in Wilmington during the day and got too hungry to wait for dinner. I am not doing that anymore. I do not have to go to Wilmington nearly as much as I was, and I eat at home. That in itself should have reduced my weight. I need to walk more frequently. I feel like the days are so short that I run out of time before I am able to do everything I need to do. I also run out of energy and get super tired by the end of the day.
I am not sleeping all day everyday like I was once upon a time. That , too, should reduce my weight.
I am wanting to quit taking Lyrica in exchange for a different seizure medication. I know there is not another fibromyalgia medication that I can take, because I have discussed this with my neurologist before. I am willing to be without fibromyalgia medication to get back to a healthy weight. I am scared that changing seizure medication might mean that I have more seizures, because that is a risk I am about to take. I can only hope for the best. I am trusting that my neurologist can help me not have any seizures, so I can lead a mostly normal life. I need to lose weight, and I know my medications are making it difficult to lose weight. They are most of the reason I have gained so much weight to begin with. I wasn't this big after I had Caleb! I am huge! I hate the way my body looks when I see myself in the mirror. I want to change it so badly, but feel I have done everything I can do up to this point.
I was doing keto earlier this year, for about 2 and a half months. It is not something I can commit to long term. I tried walking on the incline trainer more than once this year. I kept either hurting myself, causing myself a flare up, or both! I mean I can't seem to win. I have tried logging my food intake to an app on my phone, but I am not about to measure and weigh everything I eat. I eat alot of homemade meals, with alot of different vegetables, and it just takes too much time and patience that I don't have. I am going to the monthly MOVE follow up group at the VA that is a class to help me learn about diet and exercise and getting healthy. I weigh in every Monday. I have not been logging in my meals to my daily planner lately, but up until about last week, I kept notes of my dinners, which are my largest meal of the day. I have tried to take Victoza, which is supposed to be a prescribed appetite suppressant. It didn't work for me. I am trying to take dietary supplements now to help with appetite suppressing and also fat burning. I have not taken them long enough to know if they are helping me yet.
I have talked to my psychiatrist about changing my medications so I am not taking medications that cause weight gain. Unfortunately I came to the conclusion that I do not want to change my psychiatric medications because I have tried so many things over the past 7 years, and I am finally in a good place with my mental health. I don't want to jeopardize that. I don't want to go back to experimenting with things that probably won't work on me.
I don't like the idea of being forced to have weight-loss surgery because I don't want to have surgery. I do not think I will have success with it. I have depression which may make me ineligible. My doctor has not mentioned it as an option. It takes a long time to prepare for surgery, and a long time to recover from it. I know people who have had surgery, and began losing their hair, and having problems with their nails. I know people have gained the weight back after going through all of that. I don't want to be one of those people. There has to be a better way for me to accomplish weight-loss.
I emailed my PCP about changing my diabetes medication from metformin to something safer. Metformin is known to cause kidney problems when taken long term. I don't know why she would make me susceptible to that.
It is now 5:45 a.m. here. I have been here since 3 something. Caleb is sleeping on the couch. Bella is sleeping on my bed. I could not sleep because I was coughing from an itch in my throat. It happens when my nose and mouth get dry from using the CPAP. I keep a drink by the bed, but I still have to get up to drink it.
About the parade. Every year the town gets together for a Christmas concert, hot chocolate, cookies, and to see Santa. This year we cannot gather, so we only had the stay-still Christmas parade. We usually have a regular parade. I take Caleb every year to the town Christmas tree lighting where the concert is held. It is usually at the park. Things were different this year because of Covid-19 outbreaks.
Caleb and I arrived to parade entrance a few minutes before starting time. The police were not yet in place. When I went to turn around to wait, the police were in place, blocking the road to get back to the starting point. I had to drive all the way around the island to get back. When we made it to the starting point, we were 10 minutes or so late. There was a long line ahead of us, and traffic was not moving. We waited almost an hour in line, moving ever so slowly to actually get to where the parade began. It took us about an hour to see all 75 floats. It's a good thing we did not have to use the bathroom during that 2 hours because there was no where to stop to go. It was fun though. We saw the parade float winners, and got goodies from some of the people at the floats. I said "Merry Christmas" to almost everybody we passed. And of course, the last float is Mr. and Mrs. Claus! I think I had a better time than Caleb did! LOL
When I found out that Alisa had not yet left to take her 3 kids to see the parade, I text her "Do you want me to take them?" I was tired, but full of Christmas spirit. We had just gotten home from the parade. I needed to use the bathroom and was hungry. I made myself some soup, and then Caleb and I left to pick up the kids. This time, it took just as long as the time before to get to the first float. It took just as long to see all the floats too. I was surprised. I did not think there would be that many vehicles in line when we went with the kids. The parade route was open from 1-4 pm. We finished the route a few minutes after 4:00, just in time for them to see Santa, before the floats were taken down and moved away. Success! So, I was happy I could make that happen for her kids.
That was one of the only times we ever used my third row seating too. We had to move the stuff out of the trunk to be able to lift the seats up for use.
So, anyway, it's about time to go weigh in. I already took my iron pill and orange juice earlier this morning when I got up the first time from coughing.
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