Tuesday, December 29, 2020

5 Year Journal Day 217

     Today's prompt is "What was the last time you were on an airplane?" When I flew from Korea to Atlanta, Georgia with Caleb.

     It is now 1:40 a.m. here. Yesterday was an exciting but unproductive day. I was just so tired. I did not get out of bed until almost noon again. When I got up, I was still tired. I was tired all day long despite my efforts to revive myself with Diet Mountain Dew.

     Caleb got a package with a gift card in it and some books, and wanted to go spend the Walmart gift card yesterday. I took him to Walmart. He went inside, while I stayed in the Mazda. He knew what he wanted, so he did not take long at all. I did not go inside to attempt to prevent myself from spending money on my credit card on things we do not need right this minute. 

     We came home, and I always check my phone before exiting the vehicle. Someone had messaged me on myHeritage, and facebook messenger too. It was a man named Billy Johnson-Honey, and he sent me the screen shot of his relationship to Caleb from myHeritage. He is Caleb's likely second cousin from his father's side! We chatted on facebook messenger, and I asked him if could help me find Caleb's father. Billy is a veteran too. He agreed to help me! I couldn't believe it! 

     It was too much for me to handle, even though I shared the news with Stella, Rachel, and eventually my mom, and Aunt Lisa. I was exhausted. My head felt like it needed to explode. I needed a nap badly. So I was going to lay down when I got a call from the VA pharmacist. I had forgotten all about that appointment. 

     Dr. Karels, Amanda is her name, and she specializes in diabetes. She wants me to start taking my blood sugar numbers at least 2-3 times a week to determine if more glipizide is needed to control my blood sugar. We talked about weight loss medication, and will discuss it more at our next appointment after she has more information about how my diabetes is doing. She might either increase my glipizide or change to another diabetes medication that may help with weight loss too. She seemed happy to hear the answers to her questions about my diet and exercise, along with other health questions. She was very pleasant to work with, and I look forward to having her help me manage my diabetes in the future.

     Right now, I am very awake. I could not go back to sleep. I was tossing and turning. I went to sleep around 8:30, which is my normal time. We had dinner late because I did eventually go take a long nap. I don't know why I am feeling so fatigued. I wish I had more control over my energy levels during the day. I have so much I need to get done. I need to be able to work during the days, and sleep during the nights. 

     I can't help but feel I would be better with a grounding device to use throughout the day and night. I bought a black tourmaline bead necklace and am waiting for it to arrive in the mail. I also bought an empath protection necklace, made with amethyst, black tourmaline, hematite, and shungite. I hope these will help, but there is only way to know to for sure of the effects on me and that is to try them. 

     I have no energy to even read my book. I really want to read it. I have a new medication chest of drawers that needs to be put together, and a water filtration countertop unit that I need to assemble too. I need to put together the carpet cleaner machine. I was supposed to get more of the laundry done yesterday and didn't. I was going to clean up the kitchen more, and I didn't. I really just didn't get anything done. I hate days like that because I know that I have to get these things done. I just want to be productive during the day. I want to be making progress everyday. My body does not allow that. 

     I have mixed feelings about finding Caleb's father. On the one hand, I would be happy for Caleb to know who his father is. On the other hand, I am not looking forward to expressing my feelings about how things went down. It's so important that I get that book read, and quickly. I need to know how to handle my emotions before anything else happens. I need to know how to block other people's illnesses and emotions too. 

     Today, it just depends on if I am tired when I get up, on what I will do. I will not spend another day fighting this fatigue. I will spend the day in bed if that is what I need. I hope that I can recover quickly. I checked my temperature, just to be sure. It was a normal temperature reading. 

     I want to cleanse my crystals , my tarot, and my oracle deck. The crystals need to be charged. I cannot help but think I am being prepared for something big to happen and my body is just in preparation mode to take it on. 

     I have been sleeping with my far infrared fabric. It helps with my pain. It's supposed to help with circulation too. 

     I still haven't changed my shoes to my new diabetic shoes I got a few months ago. I don't want to ruin them. LOL I'm comfortable in my old shoes. My feet don't hurt and they are perfect for sliding on and off. 

    I want to try to sell some of my things on poshmark but am afraid because I don't know how to calculate shipping without some an app and a scale or something. I do not know how poshmark works. I have never used it before. I want to sell at least my new skates, a pair of boots, a purse, and maybe some jewelry. I might have some clothes, but I don't think they will sell.  

     Caleb is asleep in the living room, and Bella boo boo is asleep on my bed. It is now 3:07 a.m. here. I am going to take my iron pill and orange juice and go lay down. 

     

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