Today's prompt is "How can you help?" I can help by being my normal cheerful self and loving others just the way they are.
It is now 1:27 a.m. here. Yesterday was a busy day. I had a hard time deciding to get out of bed to go to the food distribution. I got Caleb up around 7:30 a.m. , with the intention of leaving around 8 a.m. There was frost of the windshield, windows, and mirrors, and we had to warm the car up. Then the tire pressure alarm went off as soon as turned the car on. I knew I had to stop to put air in the tires before driving to Shallotte. The food distribution was not scheduled to open until 9:00. We arrived at 9:07, and was the fourth vehicle to be turned away. People were not supposed to arrive before 8:45 per the letter sent out. I know that others did not follow this rule. There was traffic backed up beyond the traffic lights to get into the parking lot where food was to be picked up. I know I am not the only to be pissed off for having gone through so much to get there, only to be turned away.
Today we will arrive early enough to be counted within the the first 150 vehicles.
I got my EBT deposit, so I decided to go directly to Walmart to buy the things I know would not be provided.
I asked Billy if could send me $11 by paypal. He needed someone to take him to go get his money from his accountant. So, after bringing my groceries home, I went to Wilmington. I needed the money he was going to give me for gas. I picked him and his girlfriend up, went to his accountant's office and then went to Walmart to cash the check. I desperately had to use the bathroom by then so I went inside too.
After we were done there, we went to the Hibachi Grill Chinese buffet. I had not eaten all day and was starting to feel sick. I had a jar of bread and butter sandwich sliced pickles in the Mazda that I began munching on while waiting for Billy at the Walmart.
I got so hot in the restaurant that I began sweating and my face began to burn bright red. After we ate, Billy and Nikki went to Gabe's real quick to look around. I then took them to Bank of America so Billy could make a deposit. The last place we stopped at was Kohl's , so Billy could buy his special soap. Then we dropped them off at their house and came home for the night.
I took my medications and went to lay down, knowing I would have to get up early in the morning to try again at the food bank.
I got a call from my mom during her lunch time and explained why I wanted her to call me.
I talked to Violet throughout the day, and she sounded much better. I hope she stays well.
I was very tired when I finally laid down. Everything below the waist felt heavy and sore.
So today, I am going to get up early and arrive early at the food bank. Caleb also has an afternoon appointment.
Tomorrow and over the weekend, I am going to stay at home as much as possible. I have so much work I need to catch up on here. I need to find all my compression socks and wash them. I have gotten behind on kitchen cleaning. I don't remember the last time I cleaned the bathroom. I just have alot to do around here, and I can't do it if I am not at home.
I have 2 boxes to send out and they will have to wait until I get paid. That is the last of the Christmas/Yule presents that I have to send out. All the others have either been hand delivered, or mailed out already.
Christmas music is the only music I play on the radio right now. LOL I just don't want to hear anything else right now.
So... I reached out to Christinia yesterday by text and on instagram. I said "Happy holidays. I truly wish the best for your life." or something along those lines. I don't know why. I guess it has been almost 12 months since I last spoke to her. I kind of miss her, but I know she has untreated mental health problems that make her crazy.
I wonder how she is doing. I wonder if she is choosing to be an independent woman, or relying on someone else to fill her needs. I have changed since she left. I am calmer and sleep better at night. I do not have daily drama with between her and Caleb and Harlee everyday to worry about. I am not exhausted to the point of sleeping through most of the day. I have gotten to the point where I do not always need a nap in the afternoons anymore. Caleb is calmer. She was not good to have around. Neither was Harlee.
Photos of us keep popping up in my facebook memories. We did have some good times.
Violet has offered to help me learn some things she has learned along the way. She also is going to teach me to make my own herbal teas. I had hot tea for the first time in many years, last night. It was the tea I bought for Caleb, Salted Caramel black tea. I drank it with Stevia. It was ok. I like spice tea better. I am going to try to shake the soda habit slowly. She told me about alkaline water, and I will have to try it. I have never looked for it before, so I will have to see if it is available here.
I have not been focusing any energy on my classes with Ethony Dawn. I have fallen behind in the video watching. It is alot to manage around here. It is easier to catch up on videos when Caleb sleeps in his room or in my room, because I will not wake him up if I want to watch when I get up early in the morning.
Billy got his Christmas card in the mail yesterday. He should probably get his package today or tomorrow.
My workspace is a mess again. I need to tidy it up. I still have not moved all the books from the china cabinet. I did not water the plants again. Once I get home from Caleb's appointment, I am in for the day. I have been out of the house all week. I am so tired of running around. Plus I need to conserve gas.
Time is flying by. It will be Caleb's birthday soon. He is a New Year's Eve baby. My baby, my first born, my only child will be 12 this year. Soon he will be a teenager, and I can hardly believe it. We have been through so much, and I love this kid with all my heart. He is growing every day. He weighed in at his psychiatrist appointment at 126 lbs. and height measured at 5ft 5in. I remember him as a toddler. I carried him everywhere I went because he was a little escape artist and a runner. I miss his baby-ness.
We are on day 12, I think, of having more than 6,000 new confirmed cases of Covid-19 across the state of North Carolina. I do not know why there are so many new cases popping up everywhere. There are still people who do not wear masks in public, and I do not understand it. There is a new curfew taking place on December 11th that is from 10 p.m. to 5 a.m. I am always home during those hours anyway, wo it will not affect me.
They have begun administering the Covid vaccine in the U.K. I am waiting for them to start in the U.S. Some people are already stating they will not be accepting the new vaccine. I will, for sure. Caleb will too. We will not be dying from Covid-19.
I am waiting for my sports bras and the compression tops to get here. I will be trying the compression shorts and compression tank top together under my clothes, while it is cold outside. I do not think I can handle wearing so much clothes in the heat though.
I was thinking about how I want to walk everyday for 30 minutes. It does not have to be at 2mph. It does not have to be on an incline. I do not have to make it harder for me to do. I need to work up to where I was able to start when I was younger, 7 years ago. I just need to be able to walk. It's so important to me. I feel like with every passing day it is getting harder to walk, because of pain and stiffness. My body does not want to move, but I want to move.
Yesterday, I downloaded Caleb's and my raw DNA data from ancestry.com to be able to upload it to the family tree we have on myheritage.com. I hope one day it is meaningful to someone besides me.
I still have not put up the Christmas tree. I don't know if I will this year. I just don't know.
I am so tired of looking at this mess in my house. I feel like I am constantly running in circles to clean it up, and getting nowhere fast. I wish Caleb could help me more, but I do not trust him with some things yet. He is not detail oriented at all. He can be careless too. I don't want him to get hurt and I don't want him to ruin something. I don't like anyone using my machines, for example, or else I would have him rinse the dishes and load the dishwasher, or wash the laundry. I do not want him using bleach, or else I might have him clean the bath tub. He is technically old enough to be doing these things, but his maturity level is level is not his age. He is delayed and has ADHD and ODD. I'm in no rush to get him to try to help me more that way, but I do wish everything wasn't on my shoulders to do.
I had to switch my nose ring to the smallest size, instead of the largest size because I already lost 2 of the largest size. They keep falling out because they are top heavy and are being pushed out by my glasses when I am looking down. The small ones don't do that as much.
The place on my arm where I tore the skin off is healing nicely. My sores on my face are healing too. The bumps are much smaller now than they were in the beginning.
It is now 2:47 a.m. and I should take my iron and orange juice and head back to bed. This week has been a busy and productive week. I need my rest.
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