Friday, December 25, 2020

5 Year Journal Day 213

    Today's prompt is "Today were you a wallflower or social butterfly?" I was a wallflower.

     It is now 7:13 a.m. here. Yesterday was Christmas Eve. I did not feel well still, and was very tired all day. I stayed in bed as much as possible. My body ached and hurt so bad. Caleb went and checked the mail every hour or so, waiting for Grammie's gift to arrive. When it did, he opened it, and found money for Christmas and his birthday! He wanted to go to Walmart right away. I tried to get him to pause and think before spending his money on the first thing he saw. He recently broke his fishing pole, and I knew he wanted a new one. He was not interested in buying a new one.

     We went to Walmart, even though I could smell myself and needed a shower. I wasn't going to buy anything, because I would have to use credit, but I bought myself some Midol Complete, a new heating pad, some tissue, and some vegetables. Caleb bought himself a blanket with wolves on it, and a special edition hot wheels set. 

     We got home, and I went back to lay down for awhile. When I got back up, I decided we would open our presents. That way, Caleb would have no reason to wake me up in the morning. He doesn't believe in Santa, so I didn't ruin that for him. He was excited, and I let him open all the packages, even the ones that weren't for him. He had a good time, and loved everything he received. 

     Caleb got an artist set, an origami kit, a set of gaming headphones, some clothes, some books, some flavored popcorn, and some candy. He was so happy! I was happy too! I got some books, some clothes, a sleeping headphones headset, and a tarot set. It was a Merry Christmas Eve!

     Caleb just cut his finger trying to cut open a giant gumball he got for Christmas, and now his finger is bleeding. He could not bite it, so he thought he would try to cut it into smaller pieces. 

     He is wearing the new clothes Aunt Lisa bought for him, the warm and cozy pajamas. Bella slept with me all night. She was so cuddly. I slept with my far infrared ray fabric wrapped around my midsection to help with the pain and inflammation.  

     I just showed Caleb my tarot set that I bought and totally forgot about. He was creeped out by the artwork. LOL 

     Today, for Christmas Day, we are going to stay at home and enjoy our presents. I already started reading the book, "The Empath's Survival Guide" by Judith Orloff, MD. I have read Chapter 1 and now know for sure that I am a complete empath. In Chapter 2, I found out that I am both a physical and emotional empath. I have not completed Chapter 2 yet, but I will be learning how to protect myself from other people's energies. I can not wait to see what this book has to offer, and learn things that I wish I could have learned as a child.

     I will be finding a cozy place to read today, and maybe even get some laundry washed. 

     Last night, I looked into earthing products. They are also known as grounding products. I would like to buy a grounding mat for the bed. I know I will sleep better with it, but it is expensive. I bought some special compression socks that are far infrared ray emitting, and a type of corset or back brace that emits far infrared too. They will both help me to reduce the chronic inflammation, remove toxins from my body, and increase more efficient circulation, not to mention decrease the amount of pain I feel. 

     In the book , "The Empath's Survival Guide", it says "Empaths have an extremely reactive neurological system." There are many kinds of empaths: physical empaths, emotional empaths, intuitive empaths, telepathic empaths, precognitive empaths, dream empaths, mediumship empaths, plant empaths, Earth empaths, and animal empaths. Dr. Orloff discusses the science of empathy by writing about the mirror neuron system, electromagnetic fields, emotional contagion, increased dopamine sensitivity, and synesthesia. Then there is a self-assessment. These are the questions I answered "yes" to:

Have I ever been labeled overly sensitive, shy, or introverted?

Do I frequently get overwhelmed or anxious?

Do I often feel like I don't fit in?

Do crowds drain me, and do I need alone time to revive myself?

Do noise, odors, or nonstop talkers overwhelm me?

Do I have chemical sensitivities or a low tolerance for scratchy clothes?

Do I prefer taking my own car to places so that I can leave early if I need to?

Do I overeat to cope with stress?

Am I afraid of becoming suffocated by intimate relationships?

Do I startle easily?

Do I have a low threshold for pain?

Do I tend to socially isolate?

Am I overwhelmed by multi-tasking, and do I prefer to do one thing at a time?

Do I need a long time to recuperate after being with difficult people or energy vampires?

Do I feel better in small towns or the country rather than large cities?

Do I prefer one-to-one interactions and small groups to large gatherings?

     "If you answered yes to more than fifteen questions, you are a full-blown empath." writes Dr. Orloff.

     She writes that some of the challenges we may face are: becoming overstimulated, absorbing the stress and negativity of others, feeling things intensely, experiencing emotional and social hangovers, feeling isolated and lonely, experiencing emotional burnout, coping with increased sensitivity to light, smell, taste. touch, temperature, and sound, and expressing needs in intimate relationships.   

     "What makes am empath's overload symptoms worse? Fatigue, illness, rushing, traffic, crowds, loud environments, toxic people, low blood sugar, arguing, overwork, chemical sensitivities, too much socializing, and feeling trapped in overstimulating situations..."

     How am I supposed to protect myself? Dr. Orloff gives a shielding visualization and a grounding and earthing visualization to use. 

     To determine whether I am a physical or emotional empath, I took another self-assessment. Here are the questions I answered "yes" to:

Physical Empath Questions:

Do I get physically ill in crowds?

Do I get energized by some people and depleted by others?

Do I frequently go to doctors without getting treatments that help?

Am I chronically fatigued, or do I have mysterious and unexplained ailments?

Do I often feel exhausted by crowds, preferring to stay home?

Is my body sensitive to sugar, alcohol, and processed foods?


Emotional Empath Questions:

Do I get an emotional hangover after an argument or a conflict?

Do I feel depressed or anxious in crowds?

Do I want to fix people and take away their stress?

Can I intuit other people's feelings, even when they are unexpressed?

Is it hard to distinguish other people's emotions from my own?

Do I care so much about other that I neglect my own needs?

Do I overeat to cope with difficult people or emotional stress?


     "Five or more yeses indicate that you're definitely that type of empath." So, I am both types.

     Dr. Orloff then writes about empathetic illnesses. The ones she mentions that I have are chronic depression, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, pain, panic attacks and social anxiety.

     So here is where I left off last night, "Self-protection for Empaths."

     This is the first book of the 10 I got for Christmas that I chose to read. I am so excited about these books, you don't even know! 

     Let's see first I need to take a shower...badly. I can use the new body wash Aunt Lisa bought me! She bought the collection for me of lotion, body cream, and body wash of sage and mint! I will be squeaky clean and well moisturized today! My legs are ashy from scratching and dryness yesterday. 

     Then I can start the laundry, and find a comfortable place to sit and read. Perfection! Dinner is leftovers, so now worries about that. The kitchen can wait until tomorrow, or if I feel like cleaning today (probably not). I have a new heating pad for my back that I can use for my back pain now. I can take my Midol now that it is daylight outside, and get moving, yeah! I am also going to setup my new water filtration unit today. One thing at a time though. First let's get breakfast and medications done. Merry Christmas everybody! 

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